i am bn proposed to by ma bestfriend whom i hv known for the past 21yrs of ma life ,but the problem is dat i feel wat will hv is best if we remain friends,i feel things will get complicated if i say yes to him.but i feel very bad letting him go to another person,the truth is dat i am confused . plz nairalanders advice me on wat to do so i wont be making the greatest mistake of ma life.

@ porter u took the question right out of mi mouth i av a similar problem. Please people tell us ur views on dis subject.

First of all,do you love him as a friend or more than a friend.If you love him as a friend,i believe you should stick to only being friends with him.But if you love him more than just a friend,i think you should accept his proposal.Follow your heart and i pray everything works out.

your wife should be your best friend.
if your wife and your best friend are
2 different women then it's a problem

your best friend is d best person to love if theres a genuine attraction

your husband/wife is supposed to be your best friend. whether he was your best friend for years befoe you started dating or became so while dating, again your spouse IS SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR BEST FRIEND!

If my best friend was a girl, i would have been married a long time ago. Your best friend knows you in and out. He/She knows your secrets and i think the most successful marriages are those between best friends (i may be wrong).

Nope

LoL, Dezzy, I thought you're in a "long distance" relationship with a nigerian man??

@op i would advice u to stick 2 him since u two hve known each other 4 a very long time,at least u now know his Do's and Dont.cos to me who matters in a marriage is the woman,she can destroy the family or help build it 2 a reputable one.so my dear if u want 2 marry him just go ahead but remember the power of a good marriage lays on the woman.

I believe a marriage is more than jut friendship. There should be a certain level of chemistry,lotta love and loads of friendship. You obviously have one of the qualities but do you guys have the other two qualities??If you only love him as a friend then please for your sake and his remain best friends.

Marriage being successful depends on so many things besides friendship.

Badriyyah:

LoL, Dezzy, I thought you're in a "long distance" relationship with a nigerian man??

yeah i was but i felt it does not make any sense.

Its the ideal and best situation actually. That is if you love the person like that. Sometimes we have best friends that we see as brother's and cannot imagine having sex with them . But in marriage situations, the love will face; beauty will also fade but the friendship will keep you guys going. Being in love with your bestfriend also makes the relationship solid, because you guys trust each other so much. To me it is the best thing you can do for yourself, when choosing a spouse.

It is not wrong to marry your best friend. More like very right to marry your best friend! Cos you guys would be compatible. But that is if you have a chemistry going between you two.

You already said you are reluctant to let him go to another girl, so I guess you might be feeling something other than friendship for him. So ask your self this few questions:
- How does he really make you feel?
- Have your fantasies ever included him?
- If he had a girlfriend would you still be best friends or would you "hate" him for having a girl besides you?
- Do you feel secured with him? i.e. your secrets are safe with him, his level of maturity, his way of life etc

Trust me, you would be more comfortable/happy with him than with any other guy, so you might wanna give it a try.