papa ejima:

Thanks poster for this topic. I copied it and sent to my wife's email. If only she and other wives and wives-to-be could keep to at least half of your suggestions, marriages would be a lot happier.

I think that where our ladies get it wrong is that after the wedding, they think it is all over. They now relax thinking the "battle" has been won. In fact, many of them desperately want to "wed" but not to "marry". By this I mean they look forward to the wedding and put all their efforts towards it without a commensurate effort towards the marriage itself.

My guiding rule to any wife-to-be is to always treat your husband as if you are still competing for him with other girls. You should not stop all those things you were doing before he chose you after the marriage. Instead, you should even double your efforts. Let me use my marriage as a case study here:

Before our wedding, my wife never joked with her body and especially her face. She used to use a very expensive face cleanser but she has stopped using it now and the difference is showing. When I asked her, she says she does not have the money for it but she and I know she can comfortably afford it. I bet you, if she was still single, she wouldn’t have stopped or expect me to always buy it. The way she talks to me has changed dramatically. She is now so much commanding as if I have to obey whatever she says.

We use to go out for a drink or two when we were dating. In fact, there is a particular bar we used to go to almost every weekend when they have live band. Now when I suggest we go out, she will say she is tired and I dare not even suggest going alone. She will say if I want to drink, I can drink at home! Even the way you make love with your husband should not change after the wedding.

Please I am not posting this for blame apportioning. I am just saying that the best way for a lady to approach her marriage is to treat her husband as if they were still dating and she is still in competition for his love. In everything, the way you treat him, talk to him, make love with him, tolerate his inadequacies, etc should not change when he marries you. When he starts seeing you as different from the girl he was dying for when you were dating, be sure to expect the inevitable. Remember, prevention is always better than cure.

sayso:

reading this post,I start thinking maybe my wife wrote it,but sha she is not registered in NL.Good Women really do  alot  in a marriage,when I look at her(my wife), sometimes I wonder why she is looking so weak,I always encourage her to take a rest but she will always say,honey who will I leave these things for.My love for her keep growing day by day cos I do not think anyother woman will ever  replace her.Men out there,these women(our wives) are really our helpmate(s),if you have one,love her as much as you can,she needs it.

0hsisi:

You're sounding very selfish here but I'll go easy on you.
That was the biggest mistake of your life,copying and pasting this to your wife because the message you're sending is ,baby you need to shape up and get it together.
No woman would take kindly to that and I speak as a woman.

And where do you get it wrong  Oh Mr woman psychology specialist ?
What are you bringing to the table.
Whenever you want to change the course of your marriage,the first client should be you.
Not her
but you.


And who are you to have a guiding rule for anyone
Do you know what hre guiding rules are?
Did you spell out these your rules before walking her down the aisle ?
She may have run the other direction and left you with your book of rules.
.

Since you know that cream,why don't you go out and buy her half a dozen for mother's day
I'm sure she'll use it.
Your name papaejima tells me you have twins so obviously her hands are full
She has so much to do and who knows how much help she gets besides a husband hounding her about her looks.
.

Could it be also that you have stopped listening and responding such that the sister has to say it a few times to obtain a response?
Think about that.
.

Sounds to me like this woman is overwhelmed with the kids and her duties to run a home plus take care of you.
Give her sme needed credit,will you!
When was the last time you asked if she needed any help around the house?
that would be appreciated.

All that whole sermon belongs to you too
It alway goes both ways
what you give is what you receive
What you sow,is what you reap
If you make a woman feel on top of the world,she'll reciprocate same

heryyy:

@ohsisi you are absolutely full of shittt in jumping into conclution about something you dont know its so obvious u are a bleeping fuulish haman being, Oloriburuku

Am just me:

I hope dis doesnt scare any intending wife- makes it look like husbands are big chiefs who are served by wives(slaves).
This is something else, i agree n disagree on dis. Women work dis days and u can hardly or neva meet up 2 dis roles; unless husbands understand dat, we'l kip on having problems. How can u guys get home @ 9pm from work, u dont have a housegirl, yet do all these? u can only try but u cant do all these. your out at 6am cos of hold-up, come back 9pm, aint wives human?

JUST MY OPINION

fellis:

You are right. The requirements in that list are just too much. I hope the men don't go and start believing that the only good wives are those that do the things on the list.

Punkinmusty:

then dont marry.

peacettw:

am really sick and tired of reading all these posts of how women both married and unmarried can improve themselves. If only it can be balanced with posts of how men can behave as well, then i will be happy. The sad truth is that men will only shrug it off claiming dominance while the women will be forced to adhere to the rules by both men and women.