PROLOGUE/TEASER

Heart pounding.
Sweat trickling down my skin.
Shaky hands gripping on the thing in my hand.
Eyes focused.
My heart desperately grabbing on the thin hope that maybe a miracle will happen.
This is one of the few times in life that you wish for a negative thing to happen to you, more like a negative result for me.
I felt my friend's hand on mine, she held me tightly as she's also staring intently at it.
We both held our breaths as the line moved.
I prayed desperately for it to just be a red line.
"Just this once God"
But then we don't always get what we want.
They are two, two red lines.
I let out a gasp breaking the silence, the tears I've been holding in falls non stop.
"Your Dad's gonna kill you Fe" She whispered.
I nod my head crying silently.
"I know" I whispered back.
Penshalom


THE STORY WILL BE UP ON THE 16TH OF DECEMBER, 2017, #anticipate.

hmmm...already anticipating.

Really cant wait

16th loun loun.......e don too tey nah *takes sit*

Waiting.....

AUTHOR'S NOTE
Hi,
Thanks for checking this story out, I felt happy writing this story and I hope you are happy when you are reading it too and that you learn a thing or two from it.
The updates of this story will be once a day or two days at most. I'll appreciate if you like and comment at the end of each episode, nice comments tho, there are song recommendations in each episode, you could probably just listen to them as you read.
This story ain't perfect, there will be grammatical errors and plot holes, be warned.
Thanks.
Penshalom

Episode 1.
SWEET SENSATION
Song: Chimdi Ochei- You are the reason I live

"You are the reason I live
You are the one for me, you are the one for me
You are the reason I live
You are the one for me, you are the one for me
Why should I fear when I have you, surrounded by your love your everlasting love
Why should I care what people say
They don't know what you mean to me"
The congregation sang along and the instruments joined in too, creating a sweet harmony.
I could feel the presence of God all over me like a sweet sensation.
I went deeper into worship also bringing people deeper into it.
I opened my eyes and handed the microphone to the pastor and then I went back to my seat.
The Pastor prayed in tongues bringing down the glory of God more.
Few minutes later, the atmosphere has been set and everyone is seated, eagerly waiting for the day's message from the pastor.
"I welcome you all to church today. The Lord is going to meet you in a new dimension---"

"YOUR WORSHIP TODAY was lovely Felicia, may God give you more of His grace"
"Amen" I said with a smile to my Youth pastor just before someone hits me from the back and I already know who it is.
"Hey girl. Hello sir" My friend, Vera said in greeting with her signature smile.
"Vera. I guess I'll leave you two."
"Atta girl. The worship today was muah" Vera said as soon as the Youth Pastor left.
"You sure?"
"Of course. You are my favourite worship leader and not just because you are my best friend. You are really good"
"I hope he thinks so" I said worriedly.
"He will. I mean, everywhere was so quiet during the sermon, nobody slept at all. Can you believe it? It's like your worship prepared their hearts, our hearts"
I smiled at that, her words made me less worried.
"Fe Mom says we should go home"
My younger brother said before he ran off to the parking lot not even bothering to hear my reply.
"I'll see you tomorrow then. I have a feeling I'll call you tonight tho"
I hugged Vera goodbye before I walked over to the parking lot in haste.

FEW HOURS LATER I'm on my bed with my headphone on, listening to Steve Crown's song "All the glory" and singing along with it.
"Fe" My younger brother, Dave, called my name as he entered my room and then jumped on my bed.
"I told you to always knock before you enter my room" I said and removed the headphone, scowling at him.
"What are you hiding? It's nothing I haven't seen before" He replied nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders.
I stared at him and shake my head.
I'm not surprised at his words, he says anything that comes to his mind.
"Why are you here?"
"He is back" He said with a sigh.
My heart skipped a beat in fear.
"When did he get back?"
"Like two minutes ago. Just about the time I came to your room."
"Oh" was all I said before silence ensued the room both of us lost in our own thoughts.
"Felicia, Dave. It's time for dinner"
I heard my Mom shout from downstairs. .
"Can I skip it?" Dave said turning on the bed.
"No you can't, Mom will throw a fit, besides all you've eaten today is noodles. C'mon let's go" I pulled him up and we both walked out but not before I take a deep breath.
Here goes nothing.

Song: Steve Crown-All the glory
Penshalom

Episode 2
NOT GOOD ENOUGH
Song: Jussie Smollet- Good Enough (Empire soundtrack)

"Evening sir"
Dave and I both greeted him before taking our seats at the dinning table, we both sit beside each other every time.
"Evening" His voice itself caused me to shiver.
At least he replied us today.
The food has been served already, we prayed and everyone started eating except me.
I'm waiting for something but it's quiet, too quiet making me more scared than before.
Maybe today is my lucky day, I thought to myself.
I picked up my spoon feeling slightly happy but just as I was about to put the food in my mouth, he spoke up.
"You made a fool of yourself today Felicia, again"
I dropped my spoon and looked down at my plate, playing with my fingers, it's something I do whenever I'm nervous.
"What did I do?" I managed to ask.
He glared at me from across the table making me flinch.
"You dressed like a prostitute to the altar"
"What?"
I looked at him shocked at his words.
"My own daughter wearing a mini skirt to the pulpit in front of the whole congregation, people I preach to, how do you expect them to respect me when my own daughter is like this?"
"But sir, the skirt passed my knees" I tried to defend myself.
"Because it passed the knees does not make it a mini skirt?"
"No it doesn't" Dave replied for me, he said it coolly cutting a piece of steak from his plate.
"Shut up. I'm still coming to you. Your butt almost spilled out of that skirt, you could not even walk properly. And what's with the make up? You looked like the human version of Jezebel right on the pulpit. I'm so ashamed to even call you a member of my family"
He went on and on with his insults, each of his words piercing deep into my heart but Dave held my hand giving me some kind of comfort.
"I'm sorry sir." I said swallowing back my sob.
I look at my Mum expecting her to say something but no, she never says anything.
"Sorry doesn't cut it. I will not have you destroy the work God has placed in my hands."
He paused a bit.
"And you Dave, you wore a skinny jeans...."
I tuned off at that, I tried to focus, I really did.
I tried to pull myself together but I couldn't.
"Excuse me" I said standing up and ran upstairs.
I closed the door of my room and jumped on my bed holding the pillow to my mouth and cried.
Will I ever be good enough?
I picked up my phone and called Vera.
"Hey girl" I heard her cheerful voice.
"I told you I had a feeling I would call you tonight" I said with a shaky voice.
"What's wrong?" She asked worriedly.
I began another round of tears as I explained it all to her.
"I don't even know what to say Fe. I mean, what does he really want from you?"
"I don't know V, I just don't know" I wiped my eyes.
I'm so tired of crying but the tears keep pouring out.
"My Mom wants me now, we'll talk tomorrow all right? I love you."
"All right V. Love you too"
She dropped the call and I cried a little bit more before I went to the bathroom
I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my eyes are all red and puffy.
No surprise there.
I washed my face and brushed my teeth before going to sleep.
Minutes later, still half awake, I heard the door open and felt the bed dip and he put his arms around me.
"Goodnight Dave" I whispered.
"Night Fe" He whispered back.
I surrendered myself to sleep completely, emotionally and physically exhausted.
Penshalom

Episode 3
JORDAN
Song: Tatiana Manaois- Like You

I woke up at exactly 5am to the sound of my alarm.
Dave's hand held mine.
I looked at him feeling blessed to have him as my younger brother.
Although, two years younger than I am, he still tries to protect me.
We draw strength from each other, it's just me and Dave in this house.
Just us, against our parents.
I snapped out of my thoughts as I heard footsteps, I quickly jump up from my bed and locked my door and then run back to the bed to wake Dave up.
"What is it?" Dave asked sleepily, rubbing his eyes.
"Snap out of it Dave, Dad will soon check on us, so get up and start praying" I whispered.
He groaned.
"He doesn't even know I'm here"
He turned again and slept off.
"Dave" I shake him but he didn't budge.
I quickly arrange myself into a praying position but because I closed the door I had to sing out loud for him to hear me.
After I was sure he is gone, I relaxed a bit.
It's compulsory for everyone in my house to wake up by 5am to pray, my Dad goes round to check if we are abiding by it.
I remember the day he woke me up by pouring water on me and called me "Demon Possessed" during the family devotion.

"I DIDN'T SEE YOU earlier this morning Dave" My Dad said with an accusing look directed at Dave.
"I slept in Fe's room" Dave replied groggily.
"So you slept with your sister?"
The tone at which he said it made us all look up at him.
"I didn't "sleep"with Fe" Dave said emphasizing on the word "sleep"
"Sleep or no "sleep" , you are both grown up. I will not encourage immorality in my own house. As from now on I forbid you from sleeping in her room. In fact you only enter her room when necessary"
Dave scoffed.
"Now that's just ridiculous" He said quietly but loud enough for me to hear.
"Felicia, you know your schedule, you must be home by 4pm at most. Go to school and come back, if you do otherwise, you are in a whole lot of trouble" He said in a hard voice.
I just nod my head in reply playing with my fingers.
"You can all go now"
Dave and I ran upstairs and got ready for our day's work.

VERA HUGGED ME as soon as she saw me.
She held me tightly and patted me on my back, just what I needed at the moment.
"Let's go to class"
We both attend the same school but I take music classes as my extra curricular activity, I love music.
I dropped by my music class to drop up my guitar before going to class with Vera.

THE DAY WENT by faster than normal, so here I am seated in the music room strumming my guitar and singing one of my favorite songs by "Tatiana Manaois- Like You.
Just when I played the last string, I heard someone clap behind me.
"Wow. You are really good"
I took in his appearance, he is just dressed casually in jean, a white fitted t-shirt that showed off his chest muscles and black jacket with a black Jordan sneakers.
He is tall and looks fit, he has straight nose, pink lips and bright blue eyes that stares right into your soul.
"Like what you see?" He asked smirking.
I blushed at that, embarrassed that I've been caught.
I was not able to reply him because most of my class mates entered at that time.
To my surprise the guy went straight to the piano and played a piece.
All of us stared at him in awe.
I focused more on how his muscles flexed and the move of his fingers.
I managed to hear him play the last key before he turned to us.
"Hi everyone, my name is Jordan and I'll be your substitute music teacher. For now"
Wait, what?
Penshalom

Sorry I could not upload yesterday, had a real busy day. I wish you all a blessed week.

Episode 4
FAKING IT
Song: Taylor Swift- Mean

I swear I heard every girl in class swoon when he spoke, I almost did too, I just controlled myself.
His deep velvety voice causing some kind of strange beat in my heart.
"What happened to our music teacher?"
A girl sitting in the front asked.
"He's on vacation at the moment"
There goes his voice again making my heart race.
"Get a grip of yourself Felicia" I scolded myself silently.
"We are not going to do much today but I want each of you to work on a piece and you are gonna present it here next week. The best will sing at the school festival coming up in a month"
"What about a duet?" A girl asked from the back.
He thought about it for a while.
"Good but nothing more than a duet"
"Well, maybe we could work something together"
The girl said again, her voice husky this time.
Is she seriously flirting with him?
"You will have to do more than that to get my attention sweetheart"
Everyone snickered at that.
Serves her right.
"Well I look forward to your performances"
He said looking directly at me.
I had to look down unable to hold his eyes.
"Well see y'all later"
And with that he dismissed the class.
I bolted out immediately but I could feel eyes on me as I ran out.

I GOT HOME five minutes past 4pm, as soon as I turned around when I locked the door.
I locked eyes with my Dad.
I froze at that.
I'm in big trouble.
"Felicia, won't you say hello to the visitors?"
It was then I noticed that there were others in the room.
I cleared my throat.
"Good evening sir, good evening ma'am"
I greeted the pastor's assistant and his wife.
"Bless you my dear. How was your day?"
Mrs. Godfrey greeted me with a warm smile.
I faked smiled at her.
"How are you Felicia?"
Pastor Greggory smiled at me.
"I'm fine sir. Hope you are good?"
"Well, God has been gracious as you can see"
I nod my head not knowing what to do.
"Why don't you go upstairs and change you must be tired?"
My Dad said in a gentle voice.
Surprised?
Well we have visitors so he has to put up a front.
"Of course. Excuse me sir, ma'am"
Then I ran off upstairs.
At least I'm saved, for now.

I PUT MY hands on my beating chest as I closed my door and leaned on it.
"Thank Jesus we have visitors today. He would have roasted you alive."
I opened my eyes to see Dave lying on my bed with my laptop, probably playing a game.
"I know right? But that doesn't mean I'm saved totally"
I dropped my guitar and then hang my bag on the wall.
"Have you eaten?"
"Yep. Sandwiches. There's an extra but it's downstairs" Dave said.
"Hell naw, I'm not going back there now"
"Well, I got some junks in my bag, you can eat that now."
I checked through his bag and saw a soda and a hamburger.
Well, Dave always carry food around.
"Where's Mom?"
I asked after drinking almost half of the soda.
"She's not back from work."
Then we heard someone knock, I jumped up scared.
"Come in" Dave spoke up for me.
"We are leaving now kids"
Pastor Greggory said with his wife behind him waving and smiling at us.
"Oh. Good bye sir, bye ma"
Dave said and I only waved at them.
"Yeah. See you later dear. Bye Dave"
They both waved and closed the door.
I sat down back in relief.
"The Greggorys are so nice."
Dave said as he continued his game.
I snorted at that.
"You never know Dave. They might also be something else at home."
Dave looked thoughtful for a while.
"Well you are right"
"Felicia get down here"
My Dad shouted from downstairs.
I'm so dead.
Penshalom

Followin back to back

Episode 5
DESPERATE MEASURES
Song: Eben- Jesus at the center

Today is Wednesday and presently I'm at the choir rehearsal in my church listening attentively to the instructions my choir leader is giving us.
"You are a minister not an entertainer, let the song come from your heart and most importantly let the Holy Spirit lead you. Do you all get me?"
"Yes ma"
We chorused together, my voice higher than others.
"Alright then, let's begin our rehearsals"
I adjusted myself on my seat playing with my fingers.
"Come up Felicia, let's begin"
My Choir leader summoned me up with a heart warming smile but it's sure not easing my nerves.
I get nervous when I want sing, I don't know why.
"Hi everyone"
I said into the microphone, it's unnecessary but talking kinda helps me ease my nerves.
I signaled to the keyboardist and he started playing.
"Holy Spirit take control" I muttered to myself quietly.

"At the center of it all, it's you that I see, It's you that I see.
At the center of it all it's you that I see, it's you that I see.
There is power in your name, miracles happen in your name.
As we lift our voice in praise, it's you that I see, it's you that I see.
Come on join me in singing choir
At the center Uh Uh Uh"
I sang the last part to bring the choir in and they responded beautifully.

I WALKED IN haste to get to bus stop in time so as to get the 8pm bus, besides it's getting really late.
"What are you doing out here at this time of the night?"
I heard someone whisper in my ear making me freeze in my steps.
I removed my bag and twirled around hitting the person wherever the bag hit.
"Holy shit Felicia"
He groaned out in pain
I halt on my steps.
I know that voice.
It couldn't be him right? Cos that will be so embarrassing.
"Nice self defense skills you got there."
He looked up and smiled.
It's him alright.
"Oh Lord. I'm so sorry. I thought you were a pervert or something" I squeaked out.
He chuckled at that.
"I'm really sorry"
I looked down blushing in embarrassment and played with my fingers before I felt a hand lift up my chin gently.
"It's okay. You did what's best. I should not have sneaked up on you that way " He gave me a gentle smile.
It's at this moment that I actually got to stare at his eyes because he is standing close to me, they are like a deep ocean of blue calling you in, I could not look away.
I got so lost in them that I forgot the time and that there is someone at home who is probably waiting by the door at home to cut my head off.
"Your phone is ringing"
"Huh?" I asked stupidly.
"Your phone. It's ringing"
He pointed at my bag.
I quickly bring out my phone flushing.
"Hello"
I picked it up without checking the caller ID.
"Where are you?"
The person screamed in my ears, I recognized the voice immediately.
"Dave, what time is it?"
I asked scared.
"It's 8:45pm Fe. Dad is raging as usual and Mom is freaking out."
"I will soon be there"
I said a quick good bye to Mr. Jordan, I'm not even sure he heard me as I ran off to the bus stop hoping for a miracle.
I played with my fingers, sitting and standing up nervously hoping for a glimpse of the bus.
"Get on"
I looked to my front and see Mr. Jordan on a power bike.
"Uh. I think I'd rather wait for the bus"
"Are you scared? Don't worry I will drive at a normal speed besides it seems you really need to get home on time."
I eyed the death trap in front of me deliberating on it.
Mr. Jordan pulled me towards him and gave me a helmet.
"Get on"
I hesitated a bit but desperate times calls for desperate measures.
I hopped on the bike and sat down awkwardly.
"What are you doing? Put your arms around me."
Mr. Jordan pulled my arms around his chest himself stopping my breath for a minute.
"Alright. I'm taking off now."
He started the engine and then he drove off at a normal speed.
This is actually a good moment for me.
The feeling of Mr. Jordan's lean muscles on my hands and the feeling of the wind passing by you.
This is heaven on earth.
I smiled at that thought.

I GAVE HIM the directions to my house and we stopped somewhere close but not too close to my house.
"Thank you Mr. Jordan"
I said as I give him back the helmet not quite looking at his face.
"Are you sure it's cool here?"
"Definitely. I gotta go now. Good night sir."
I ran off but not before I heard him say
"Goodnight beautiful" or maybe it's just my imagination.

I OPENED THE door to see six pair of eyes staring at me, one of them bringing out fire.
"Where have you been?" He asked calmly but I know he's relatively nowhere close to that.
"I had to take Vera to the hospital"
The words just slipped from my mouth.
"What?"
Yes, Felicia what are you saying?
"Vera called me, she sprained her ankle and no one is home with her so I had to rush over to her place and get her to the hospital"
"Oh dear. How is she now?" My Mom asked worriedly.
"She will be fine"
Oh Lord please forgive me, I prayed silently in my heart.
"I hope you are not lying to me now"
"Come on honey, as she ever lied to you? Besides why will she lie on her friend?"
My Mom spoke up for me surprisingly.
"I will deal with this later. Get out of my face"
That's all? No insults?
I didn't think too much and dashed upstairs avoiding Dave's eyes, not for long tho, he came in as soon as I entered my room.
"What's up with that Fe?"
Dave asked folding his arms on his chest looking at me accusingly.
"I don't know Dave. I just had to"
I brushed past him and entered my bathroom, the guilt of my lie weighing me down as I stared at myself in the mirror.
"I'm sorry Lord"
I whispered sighing heavily.
Penshalom

Phew, one of the longest episodes..
Enjoy ya day

Mhizket98:
Followin back to back

Thank you, I really appreciate

keep it up

Episode 6
MORE LIES AND HALF TRUTHS
Song: Meghan Trainor-Lips Moving

I tossed and turned through out the night feeling so uneasy.
Why?
One: I lied with my best friend's name.
Two: I lied for the first time.
Three: I can't believe I got off the hook like that, I kept expecting my Dad to barge into my room and call off my bluff.
Four: I can still remember the feel of Mr. Jordan's hard chest on my hands and the warmth that emanated from his body. The smell of his cologne, his pink soft (I think) lips…
I shake my head.
What's wrong with you Felicia?
Something then clicked in my memory.
I have to work on a song within a week.
My alarm went off at that moment.
It's 5 already?
I sat up and got ready for prayer the guilt feeling coming back again.
I have so many things to ask for forgiveness for.
I won't do it again, I vowed to God.

IT WAS NOT tough picking the song I want to present, getting the right pitch was the tough part.
I rehearsed and rehearsed and now I'm in my music class playing with my fingers nervously waiting for my turn.
"Clap for her please"
The whole class clapped for Sarah as she finished her piece.
"And the last person is Felicia."
Jeez.
I stood up almost stumbling.
"Can I use the piano?"
"Sure" Mr. Jordan smiled.
I sat down for a few minutes, hands on the piano not playing anything.
"Hey, you will be fine."
Mr. Jordan smiled at me reassuringly and brushed my hands with his on the piano.
I exhaled slowly and began playing the piano, singing along with it.

I QUICKLY RUSHED to the parking lot at school because I asked Vera to wait for me, I had to talk to her on yesterday's issue.
"Hello stranger" Vera said with a smile as she saw me.
I walked straight to her and hugged her leaning into her and enjoying her warmth.
"You missed me that much?"
I could hear the smile in her voice, Vera is a lovely girl.
"I'm sorry Vera"
"It's okay. I've not made an effort to talk to you too"
I removed my arms from her body.
"It's not that. I lied using you as an alibi to my Dad last week"
"You? Lie?"
Vera looked alarmed.
I nodded my head then I went on and explained it all to her but I left out Mr. Jordan's part.
Vera thought about it for a moment.
"It's fine as along as I don't end up spraining my ankle"
She winked at me.
"By the way why were you late?"
"I had to rehearse for my music class"
I almost hit myself as soon as the words came out.
"Okay. Let's go"
"Felicia."
We looked side ways to the direction of where the voice sounded from only to see Mr. Jordan waving at me to come over, I asked Vera to wait as I walked over to Mr. Jordan in awkward steps.
"Mr. Jordan"
I said in greeting.
"Call me Jordan outside of school."
He said biting his lips bringing my attention to it.
"You called for me?" I said looking away from his lips.
This guy is the definition of sin, I thought to myself.
"Ah yes. Can I have your number?"
I spined my head fast to him almost breaking my neck.
"What?"
I asked thinking maybe I heard him wrong.
"We need to work on the song you are presenting at the school festival so I need your number so we'll talk and work around your schedule for rehearsals"
He explained to me quietly looking at me with hooded eyes, I shivered and bit my lips staring at his.
"Your friend is waiting" He gave me a knowing smile telling me he caught me staring at his lips.
I collected his phone and typed my number in a rush to escape from the embarrassment I've caused myself, his hand lingered on mine as he collected making me shiver again.
I hate and love this feeling I get from him.
It feels so wrong and so right at the same time, this is the first time I'm getting this kind of attention from a guy.
A car horned from a distance breaking me from my thoughts.
"Uhm, night"
"Yeah I will call you"
I rushed off letting my breath out as I entered Vera's car.
"Took you long enough"
Vera said as she started the engine driving out of school.
"Yeah he wanted to talk about the school festival. He wants me to represent our music class" I told Vera half of our discussion, she just nodded her head.
"Be careful with him, he's too hot"
Vera said playfully winking at me before she turned her head to the road again.
I leaned my head against the window the thoughts of my lies and Jordan clouding my thoughts.
Help me Lord.
Penshalom.

Episode 7
JERICHO
Song: Taylor Swift - I Knew You Were Trouble

I heard my phone beep from my room as I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom.
I picked it up and laid on my bed seeing a message from a strange number.
It read "Hey"
"Hi there. Who are you?"
I got a reply fast.
"Jordan"
Just that word increased my heart beat.
"You there?"
My phone pinged again.
"Yes. Just surprised"
"You shouldn't be, you gave your number remember?"
"Uh, yes"
"So what's up?"
"Nothing just getting ready to sleep"
"Really? I'm also lying on my bed right now"
"Okay"
"So whatchu doing presently?"
"Just chatting with you"
"Really? I wish I could see you blush right now"
I blushed at that.
"You are blushing right now aren't you? Wish I'm there"
The conversation continued late into the night, I slept 3am.
We talked about our time for rehearsals and he told me how much he liked to hear me speak, our conversation drifted immediately from that topic and we talked about our family, mostly about mine.
I slept with a huge grin on my face.
I forgot to pray.

I WOKE UP to someone sprinkling cold water on my face.
"Get up and pray idiot. I must not come back and see you sleeping and you must not lock the door."
My Dad said slamming the door as he went out of my room.
I dozed off so many times while praying not able to utter a single word of prayer, luckily for me Dad did not come back to check on me, eventually I slept up waking up to Dave tapping me to come downstairs for our family devotion.
I tried so hard to keep my eyes opened and willed my mind to concentrate.
"Felicia where did Jesus turn water to wine?"
"Jericho"
I said without thinking.
Dave's sniggering made me realize what my mistake.
"I mean..."
My Dad raised his hand to stop me sending me a death glare from across the room.
I cowered in my seat looking down at my fingers.
"You are such a disappointment. If you were asked this question in church is that what you would have said? Jericho? Are you stupid?"
I blinked back the tears that threatened to fall and played with my fingers.
"Dad she made a mistake, don't turn it into a big deal"
Dave scowled at him.
"Can you hear your children? One is an idiot, the other is rude. Oh Lord forgive me for disappointing you. The Bible says "Train up your child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it" but these ones have decided to walk in the path of the devil..."
And just like that our family devotion turned into another round of insults.

I DRESSED UP for school as soon as I could, Dad really took his time with us this morning.
He focused more on me, he got my test report sheet and I had a B- in calculus, he only focused on that forgetting I have straight As in the rest of the subjects.
I heard a knock on my door and turned to see a head poking in through the door.
"Can I come in?"
"Yeah, sure."
My Mom entered and sat on my bed.
"Sit down baby"
She patted the side of the bed and did as she said playing with my fingers, she held my hands in hers.
"You know your Dad loves you right?"
I kept quiet.
"He's just looking out for you. He wants you and your brother to have a better future"
I snorted at that.
"He has a really weird way of showing his love"
"Felicia.."
"Mom I'm sorry but I'm already late for school"
I stood up and rushed out not wanting to spend another minute in the house.
My phone pinged and I read a message that made me smile.
"Sorry for keeping you up.
Hope you were able to get some sleep?
I can't wait to see you in school today.
For rehearsals and stuff.
Love, J"
I walked to the parking lot feeling slightly better.
At least someone cares.
Penshalom

Episode 8
IGNITION
Song: Falz ft. Simi- Chemistry

I waited behind patiently after we finished our music class and watched as the students trudged out of the class. I already told Vera not to wait for me but not before her telling me to be careful of Jordan.
"Hi"
Jordan said before sitting beside me acknowledging my presence since I entered the music class.
"Hi" I raised my hand awkwardly biting my lips.
It feels really hot here suddenly.
"So let's begin the rehearsal"
He clapped his hands together then he took my hand and pulled me to the piano sit.
I sat down and hid my blush behind my hair looking down and he made matters worse by sitting beside me.
"Begin"
Nervously I started playing and singing but I soon got lost in it.
"You are really good but we need to work more on the piano part. Let me show you."
He moved behind me with his chest on my back and his hands on mine guiding my hands on the piano.
I faintly heard him talking but I could hear the pounding of my heart.
I started shivering visibly which didn't go unnoticed by him, I could not even play the piano properly.
This feeling foreign to me.
"Am I affecting you?"
He asked me quietly.
I could feel the touch of his soft lips on my neck as he said every word and his hot breath fanning my ear.
"I.. I... " I stuttered.
"Don't worry. You affect me too"
I looked back and it was then I realized how close we were.
Our lips brushed at first and it ignited the fire within me.
He took dominance and kissed me passionately.
The ringing of my phone brought us back to reality.
I pulled away so fast almost falling off the chair.
I quickly grabbed my things and ran out like fire was burning on my legs.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
My mind kept screaming in disbelief.
I kissed my teacher.
I kissed someone, for the first time.
My phone rang again and I checked the ID.
It's Dad.
I was trembling visibly as I picked the call unable to say anything.
"Felicia are you there?"
My Dad asked, concern in his voice?
"Y--Yes"
"Come to church straight after school. Your choir leader has been trying to reach you. Don't be late"
He dropped the call not bothering to hear my reply, just as always. His word is law.
I moved my legs and ran all the way to the nearest bus stop.

I COULD NOT concentrate at all in church, my mind keeps going back to the mind-numbing kiss that happened about an hour ago.
"Felicia"
I heard someone say my name shaking me.
"Uh"
I said stupidly looking round.
"She's been calling you for a while now"
The girl sitting beside me pointed to the choir leader.
"Are you okay Felicia?"
"Yes ma'am"
I said standing up feeling slightly embarrassed as I saw that everyone was looking at me strangely.
"Come out and lead us in worship"
"Uh-- Okay"
I stood up and went out, standing behind the standing microphone.
I started trembling, I could not utter a word out, it was like the words were choking me, my mind keeps going back to that scene in class and the guilt overwhelming me.
"Nathan please take over"
I moved back quietly to my seat embarrassed at myself.
For the first time in the eighteen years I've lived, I could not worship God.

"FELICIA PLEASE COME"
My choir leader called me as expected, I sat down awkwardly opposite her playing with my fingers.
"Is everything alright? It's so unlike you not to concentrate in church services especially choir rehearsals"
She looked really worried, yeah that's how committed I've been.
"Everything is fine. I just have a headache that's all"
I said stupidly, inwardly hitting myself for not finding a better lie.
Wait, did I just say a better lie?
"Are you sure?"
She asked me looking at me sceptically.
"Yes"
I said with with the most reassuring smile I could bring up, she kept quiet for a bit before she spoke up again.
"How is your relationship with God these days?"
"It's been awesome"
I lied smoothly even offering a nice smile to sound convincing but the question threw me off a bit.
"I guess that's all. Take good care of yourself alright?"
"Sure. Good night "
I carried my bag and hurried out not glancing back, I did not want to give room for other conversations that might come up, I just had to get out of the church as quick as possible.

"HELLO"
I ran up to my room as soon as I greeted everyone falling on my bed heavily.
"You good?"
I heard Dave ask me.
"Yeah"
"Mom made pasta"
"I'm not hungry"
I heard him move and sit on my bed touching my head.
"You don't seem to have a fever."
"Just go Dave, I'll be fine"
"Alright"
I heard the door open again after a few minutes.
"I said I'm fine Dave"
He closed the door back again.
I locked the door as I heard him go out
Little did I know it was my Dad and not Dave.
Penshalom

Episode 9
MIXED FEELINGS
Song: One Direction: One Thing

I could not sleep.
I kept tossing and turning, my mind in turmoil.
Every time I closed my eyes all I could see was Jordan and when I see Jordan I remember what happened.
It feels so wrong but it made feel wanted and loved by someone.
The message I got from Jordan did not help matters too, I opened my phone and read it again.
"I'm sorry.
But I'm not sorry I kissed you.
I can still l feel your soft lips on mine.
I can still remember your taste.
Good night.
Love, J"
"Good night my foot" I muttered to myself and threw the phone on my bed picking it up again and read the message again.
I gave up on sleeping and decided to start praying early.
After about 30 minutes I gave up, I could not concentrate at all.
I stood up from my bed and entered the bathroom to get an early start for the day.



I DEBATED ON who talk to between Dave and Vera and ended up deciding on Vera, I just had to talk to somebody.
"Meet me in the parking lot in 20 minutes . I need to tell you something"
I texted Vera on my way to school rushing quickly to get there before her.
"Okay, be there in 20, I hope you are okay?
Xoxo"
She replied back.
I rested on one of the student's cars lost in thought and then I felt someone circle their arms around me.
"Are you okay?"
Vera asked pulling me back to look me in the eyes.
"Yes. I just need to get something off my mind"
"Okay, what's up?"
"I--"
I wanted to say it but something made me hesitate.
She will be disappointed.
We both attend the same church.
I'm her favorite worship leader.
What would she see me as if I told her.
"Earth to Fe"
Vera waved her hand in my face snapping me from my thoughts, I smiled sheepishly.
"What's wrong Fe?"
"My-- I mean I have been selected to sing at the school festival and I don't know how to tell my Dad."
I rushed out the words and played with my fingers as soon as I finished saying them.
"That's all? You really scared me"
"Sorry"
"If you really want to do it just tell him or you could tell your Mom to help you. Whatever happens I'll be supporting you"
Vera squeezed my shoulders in reassuring me.
"I guess I'll just have to tell him. Thanks V"
"It's a pleasure. Now smile"
She pulled her lips wide and I laughed at her child-like acts.
"You look better now. Let's go"
She held my hands in hers as we both ran off but that sinking feeling of lying to her makes me feel guilty every time I think about it.

I STOOD OUTSIDE the my music class debating whether I should go in or not, if only I could peep inside to see what's going on.
"Are you scared to enter?"
I jumped in fear and faced who I've been dreading to see the whole day.
"Why are you not in class?"
Jordan asked putting his hands in his pocket, he's so cool while I'm a mess inside.
"I-- " I started to say but he cut me off.
"Get in, we don't have much time"
H walked inside coolly, he behaved like nothing happened and that hurt me a bit.

I DIDN'T KNOW if I should wait or just leave with the rest, after what happened between us yesterday, it was either it will bring up some rift between us or bring us closer, I think it's the former.
As I was still deliberating he walked up to me.
"Hey, you good?"
"Yes"
I am a little surprised he decided to talk now, he has been avoiding me, not once glancing at me side during class.
"You got my message last night?"
I responded by nodding my head blushing as I remembered the content of the message.
"What do you think?"
He asked me looking intently at me, I could not maintain his stare, it felt like he was reading my mind.
"I-- I'm scared" I admitted.
"Scared of who? Your parents?"
I looked down embarrassed.
"You are a grown girl, you should be able to make decisions for yourself. Believe me Felicia you will never satisfy him, he will keep controlling your life and if you continue to allow it, it's never going to stop.
I'm not going to force you into something you don't want but if you need me, tell me anytime"
It was quiet for a bit before he stood up.
"The school festival is in three days, I don't want you to stress yourself before that. Take a lot of rest, stay away from junks as I've told you earlier and rehearse by yourself but not too hard. Got it?"
I nodded my head in response again.
"Okay I'll see you in three days"
He walked out leaving me to my own thoughts.
His words hit me hard, it made me angry at myself.
Penshalom

Sorry for the late update, it's been a really crazy week
Make sure you like and comment, alright?
Thanks

It's so hard for some parents to express love to their children, I can't help but love this story more.

AryEmber:
It's so hard for some parents to express love to their children, I can't help but love this story more.

Thanks dear

Episode 10
DEFYING HIM

I rubbed my hands on my skirt the fifth time today as I stood by the door to my parents' bedroom.
"You can do this Felicia, just go in and tell him. He will not kill you"
I told myself again, I was more afraid he will say no.
I summoned up courage and knocked.
I entered when I heard him say I should come in.
I stayed silent for a few minutes staring at the back of his head where he is seated.
"What do you want?"
He asked turning around to face me.
"Sir, I've been selected by my class to represent them to sing at our school festival today and I really want to do this so I'm asking for your permission"
"No"
He said automatically and then turned to his Bible again to read.
"Why?"
"Because no daughter of mine will sing to the glory of the devil."
"It's a school activity Dad and it's not a devilish song, it's just one piece that I'm taking and I won't even spend more than an hour. You can come and see if you want"
He scoffed at that.
"Dad I really want to do this.."
I said desperately but he cut me off.
"It does not matter what you want to do, my say is final and that's all"
"But Dad.."
"Shut up Felicia. I said no. Oh, so you want to go up there sing and dance seductive dances allowing boys to ogle and whistle at you. I know you want to be a daughter of Belial but I will not allow you disgrace me in the front of the whole town presenting yourself like a LovePeddler"
His words hit me hard in my chest, I looked at him angry tears flowing down my eyes.
I wiped them off, glared at him before I walked out running up to my room.
I carried my bag that contains the gown that I wanted to wear, heels and make up.
Dave entered, he tried to hold me but I pushed him off and ran back downstairs with Dave hot on my heels.
I ignored both my Mom and Dave as I made my way to the door.
"If you leave now don't bother coming back again"
My Dad said as my hands touched the door knob.
I looked at him but I was already determined.
I opened the door slamming it as I went out of the house ignoring Dave calling me to come back.
I took my bicycle pedaling fast the tears still pouring out of my eyes. I wiped them off angrily and pedalled faster to school.
Jordan was right, I will never satisfy him but enough is enough.

I STAYED BACK a bit at the parking lot to calm myself down before I entered the school.
The school hall ways have been decorated, the students were moving up and down, I could hear laughter and see smiles on people's faces.
I got a text from Jordan to meet him in the music class, I pasted a smile on my face as I entered the class.
"Hey you good?"
I looked up at his handsome face before I looked down unable to hold his eyes.
"I'm fine"
"It's starting in 30 minutes.. So go and dress up"
I stood up and made my way to the restroom.

THE FESTIVAL STARTED at exactly 8pm and I'm extremely nervous.
"You'll be fine. You are really good, very good"
Jordan turned my body around as he said those words looking straight into my eyes. His words encouraged me, it eased my nerves.
"And now we'll hear a piece from Felicia George who will be representing the music class of this great school"
I heard my name and moved up to the stage and sat behind the piano breathing in and out before I began.
Penshalom

Episode 11
LISTEN
Song: Beyonce-Listen

I played the keys and started singing with memories of my father rushing in.

"LISTEN to the song here in my heart
A melody I start but can't complete
Listen, to the sound from deep within
It's only beginning
To find release
Oh, the time has come
For my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned Into your own
All cause you won't Listen

[Chorus:] Listen, I am alone at a cross road
I'm not at home, in my own home
And I've tried and tried
To say what's on my mind
You should have known
Oh, now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
Is more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I gotta find my own
You should have listened

There is someone here inside
Someone I'd thought had died
So long ago
Oh, I'm screaming out, and my dreams will be heard
They will not be pushed aside or worse
Into your own
All cause you won't Listen

[Chorus:] Listen, I am alone at a cross road
I'm not at home, in my own home
And I've tried and tried
To say what's on my mind
You should have known
Oh, now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I gotta find my own

I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving on
If you don't
If you won't
Listen
To the song here in my heart
A melody I start
But I will complete
Oh, now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you've made of me
I followed the voice you think you gave to me
But now I gotta find my own
My own"


AS I FINISHED the song by playing the last key I heard a deafening shout and claps from the audience.
I curtsied before I ran to the back stage and fell into the awaiting arms of Jordan. His warm hug, just what I needed at the moment.
I cried into his shoulders and he held me murmuring words of comfort and love in my ears.
I looked at him with tears blurring my eyes and said.
"I'm taking you up on your offer Jordan. I need you"
He nodded in understanding, he put his hands around my shoulders as he led me to his car.
He put on the seatbelt for me before driving off.
I leaned my head against the window as I began crying again, the memories of my past rushing in again.
I didn't know when we got to his house until he announced it.
He came around the car and opened my door pulling me out gently.
We entered his apartment and I took note of his sitting room, it is really nice but that's not why I came.
"Do you want coffee or something?"
Jordan asked as he hanged his coat on the hook, he turned around and looked surprised to see me standing so close to him.
"Felicia what.."
I shut him up by kissing him, he seemed surprised for a moment but he later responded to it. I don't know where I got the boldness from but this night, just this night, I want to be loved. I broke off the kiss and looked into his eyes, they were clouded with desire.
It made me feel happy, he wanted me.
"Felicia, are you sure about this?"
Jordan asked me giving me a chance to say no and just forget this ever happened. Fornication is bad, I know, I've heard it so many times, even believe in it but something is pushing me to do this.
"Love me Jordan"
He didn't need to be told twice before he kissed me passionately.
Clothes off.
We moved to the bedroom.
And well, I lost my virginity that night.
And that was the last time I saw Jordan.

Song :Ellie Goulding- Love me like you do
Penshalom

Happy new year lovelies
Wishing y'all the best this year

Episode 12
MISTAKES, REGRETS
Song: Todd Dulaney- Pulling me through

I woke up to the sun shining from the opened part of the curtain.
I tried to block it with my hands so as to go back to sleep as I felt really tired but it was no use, nature always wins.
I stood up, half awake half asleep as I made a move to my bathroom I gasped at the pain I felt in my lower region as I tried to move my legs it felt like a sore but I still moved my legs nonetheless only to discover that I entered an empty closet.
"When did I start having a closet?" I wondered to myself.
I found my way back to where I was coming from and looked around.
I woke up from my slumber instantly as I took note of my environment, the place looked strange.
I saw a note on the dresser, I picked it up and read it my hands trembling as I saw the content of the message.
"Sorry.
I have to go back to where I came from. I just had to stay here for a month and now I'm done with what I came for.
Sorry I had to leave like this.
Stay cool.
Love, J"
The note fell from my hand as I finished reading, memories from last night rushing back.
I covered my hand with my hands as I realized what I did. The guilt spreading in my chest, my heart hammering and I cried bitterly.
I failed God.
Jesus.
Jesus.
Jesus.
I kept screaming in my mind, tears falling.
I looked down at myself and realized I'm naked.
I saw my clothes neatly placed on the bed. I wore them quickly with my trembling hands and ran out only to meet three strange people staring at me.
"Who are you?"
A middle-aged man directed the question at me.
"So you are the girl from last night, you woke me up with your noise. Thank God you left on time, I'm about to lease the house." The old man with them said.
"You look too young to be into this"
The woman with them looked at me with a disapproving stare.
I bit my lips to prevent a sob that threatened to come out the embarrassment killing me. I didn't bother to reply and ran as fast as my leg could carry me.

THE CONSTANT RINGING of my phone made me look up from I was perched under a tree.
I looked at it and saw Vera's name, I picked it up as it started ringing again.
"Where are you Felicia?"
Vera screamed in my ears.
I started crying again, I cried out which made Vera more worried.
"Felicia where are you?"
"I'm at George street."
"I'll pick you up now. Stay put."
She dropped the call, I cried silently waiting for Vera.
She called me later and asked where I was, I told her to wait and walked lifelessly to where she was parked. As soon as she saw me she jumped out of her car.
"Oh my God, Fe"
Vera gasped and pulled me to her car without asking me any questions.
She drove straight to her house which I am thankful for.
She helped me into her house, put a jacket on me and practically forced me to drink coffee.
"What happened Fe?"
I kept quiet crying silently.
"You were out there in the cold weather wearing this thin gown with no shoes on. What happened to you Fe?"
I didn't talk again still crying.
"Were..were you raped?"
Vera asked me, her voice breaking.
I shook my head no and she released a relieved sigh.
"Then what happened?"
I cried a bit more before I opened my mouth.
"I slept with him"
"Him, who?"
"Jordan"
Vera looked shocked for a moment.
"How? Why?"
"Because.. I was angry? Because I wanted to feel loved? Jordan has been so gentle with me, I felt really special. I don't know what came over me. I just did it."
Vera cried with me when I told her all that happened this morning before she found me. The ringing of her phone breaking off our conversation.
"It's your Mom"
"I don't want to talk her right now"
I sank back into my seat my head on my knees.
"She just needs to know you are okay. Just tell her something"
I collected the phone and picked it.
"Hi Mom"
"Oh Felicia."
My Mom said in relief.
"Yes Mom?"
"You got us worried. Are you okay baby?"
"Yes I'm fine Mom" I said holding back my sob.
"Do you want me to come pick you up?"
"No" I said quickly.
"No. I will be home tomorrow. Tell Dave I'm okay"
"Alright dear. I love you Felicia"
"Bye Mom"
Vera put her arms around me.
"You'll be fine Fe"
Little did I know that there is more to come.
Penshalom

1st Corinthians 6:18
"Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body"

Penshalom:
Happy new year lovelies
Wishing y'all the best this year

Same to you Penshalom! I always love the lessons you teach in your stories though it's a shame many will still continue to fornicate and you with the different belief is the odd one out, keep up the good work!

Episode 13
MAKE OR MAR
Song: Tye Tribett - Better

I went back home the following day in the evening to the waiting arms of my Mom as she shed a few tears and a little scolding from Dave, he could be a mother hen some times. My Dad said nothing, ever since that day it has been scarily silent. I saw him briefly standing at porch, when I got down from Vera's car he disappeared inside. Vera told me to tell my Mom what happened but I haven't gotten the courage to do so besides it's just one night, it's not like I will let such repeat itself again.
My spiritual life has gone down drastically ever since then, it had been off and on before the incident but now it's gone, totally. The feelings I have during worship are no longer there, I don't feel my spirit man again, I feel so different and this has affected my attitude at home. I've been so withdrawn and Dave seemed to notice this.
"Felicia what's been up with you?"
Dave asked me worried lines etched on his forehead.
"Nothing"
"Something's off. And you been like this is ever since that day you came back. You've been so quiet and withdrawn."
I kept quiet not knowing what to say.
"Talk to me Fe, I'm your brother. Did something happen to you that night three weeks ago? Where did you sleep that night?"
"I slept with one of my music class mates. Don't worry Dave, I'm fine. At least I'm trying to be"
I muttered the last part to myself and smiled at Dave.
It looked like he still had something to say but he didn't.
"I-- "
I could not finish my words as I felt a bile rise up to my throat, I quickly rushed to the toilet and vomited it out with Dave behind me rubbing my back.
I washed my mouth and moved slowly back to my room suddenly feeling so weak.
"Are you running a fever?"
"I think so. I've been vomiting too often these days. And urinating too often"
"Let me get some drugs downstairs. Rest a bit"
He covered me with a blanket and rushed downstairs.
I touched my forehead and it felt hot.
I've been like this for a while now, suddenly feeling sick and nauseous.
I closed my eyes and slept off because I was so tired.

THE FOLLOWING WEEK, it's a Sunday afternoon I didn't join the choir to sing because I wasn't around for rehearsals, I especially loved the song they sang today "Better" by Tye Tribett. All throughout the service I kept dozing off and on, I still felt so weak and now I feel slightly hot, it's been off and on and I still vomit too frequently.
"Are you okay?"
Vera asked me quietly and I nodded my head yes to her but I was far from okay, I just wish we finish from church early so I will go home and sleep.
The service finished around 12pm and I was excited for it, my choir leader asked about me and I told her I just caught the flu.
I walked over to say goodbye to Vera but I noticed she was holding her stomach.
"V, are you okay?" I held her arm and gently moved her along with me.
"I'm fine, it's just my period"
"Oh, you..."
I dropped Vera's arm as I realized something, I stood there shocked my mind unable to comprehend the truth.
"Hey what's wrong?"
Vera asked me shaking me a bit.
"Vera.. I.. I.. I haven't seen my period"
Vera too looked shocked as she heard.
"Maybe it's just a late thing. Maybe you just have an infection, you can't be.."
"No Vera.. I've been feeling so sick the past three weeks, it's those symptoms we see and hear about."
I interrupted her as I looked up at her my eyes filled with tears.
"You can't be sure Fe"
"Let's go home Felicia"
I heard my Mom shout from a distance, I quickly turned my head so she will not see the tears on my face.
"Sorry ma'am. Fe and I have plans. Can she leave with me?"
"Oh sure. Take care of yourselves girls"
I heard my Mom say cheerfully. I just stood there trembling my heart racing so bad.
"Calm down Fe. Let's confirm this ourselves before we jump to conclusions"
Vera said goodbye to her parents, she encouraged me a bit and we went to a pharmacy that is far from town.

"CAN WE GET a HPT? No, can we get two HPTS?"
Vera asked the lady behind the counter who looked at us in turn with disdain.
"Aren't you both too young to buy this?" She asked with an irritated voice.
"I don't think that's any of your business after all we are paying our money. Just sell it to us and collect your money" Vera said in a hard voice.
She huffed at us before she got the HPTs for us.
"Where is your restroom?"
She pointed to her left reluctantly giving Vera an evil look. Vera dragged me to the restroom without sparing her another glance.
We searched on how the thing is done on the internet. I urinated before Vera came back inside as we both followed the instructions and then waited for the answer that will either make or mar my life.
Penshalom

AryEmber:
Same to you Penshalom! I always love the lessons you teach in your stories though it's a shame many will still continue to fornicate and you with the different belief is the odd one out, keep up the good work!

Thanks dear

This is beautiful. Felicia didn't get love from her dad which she sought for from a stranger who took advantage of her. She is pregg now and the stranger is gone.

You always try to talk about societal issues with your story. Keep it up.

Cbella
Gloryejims
Oly0511
She writes
Pinkfeet
Purples25
Evajael

Come over here you should read wounded too

Pearl05:
This is beautiful. Felicia didn't get love from her dad which she sought for from a stranger who took advantage of her. She is pregg now and the stranger is gone.

You always try to talk about societal issues with your story. Keep it up.

Cbella
Gloryejims
Oly0511
She writes
Pinkfeet
Purples25
Evajael

Come over here you should read wounded too

Thanks hon

Pearl05:
This is beautiful. Felicia didn't get love from her dad which she sought for from a stranger who took advantage of her. She is pregg now and the stranger is gone.

You always try to talk about societal issues with your story. Keep it up.

Cbella

Come over here you should read wounded too

FELICIA, don't do it, you said NO.....

Episode 14
THE AFTERMATH
Song: Jaymikee- I wish

Heart pounding.
Sweat trickling down my skin.
Shaky hands gripping that of Vera tightly, I'm holding her hand so tight but she did not seem to mind.
Eyes focused.
My heart desperately grabbing on the thin hope that maybe a miracle will happen.
This is one of the few times in life that you wish for a negative thing to happen to you, more like a negative result for me.
I felt my friend's hand on mine, she held me tightly as she's also staring intently at it.
We both held our breaths as the line moved to the control.
I prayed desperately for it to just be just one colored line.
"Just this once God. I promise I won't do it again, just give me this chance" I prayed silently in my heart.
But then we don't always get what we want, we got the result.
They are two, two vivid colored lines.
I let out a gasp breaking the silence, the tears I've been holding in falls non stop.
"Your Dad's gonna kill you Fe" She whispered.
I nod my head crying silently.
"I know" I whispered back.
"Let's use the second one, you know these things are wrong sometimes, besides we did it clumsily, let's just.. "
"It's no use V, we already got our answer, somehow I already knew the answer I was just hoping for a miracle. Let's leave"
I stood up, wiped my tears and walked out like a zombie not looking to my left or right, I just walked straight ahead.
I remembered my Father's words.
LovePeddler.
Delilah.
Prostitute.
Daughter of Belial.
An embarrassment.
I remembered Jordan.
I remember my anger.
I remembered my moment of rebellion.
I remembered my mistake.
I didn't know I had moved into the road until I heard the continuous sound of a car horn.
I turned towards the car, maybe, maybe I should just die right now, it will save me from the embarrassment, the shame.
I waited and waited for the hit of the car but nothing happened.
"Are you crazy lady? If you want to die, do it in your father's house"
The driver yelled at me his face red.
Vera ran to me and apologized to the man, she carried me up and moved me from the road.
"Are you crazy Felicia? You wanted to kill yourself? You scared me so much back there. What were you thinking? You think doing this will solve your problems?"
Vera screamed at me, tears running down her face.
"Yes, I think killing myself will solve the problem."
I replied quietly but loud enough for her to hear.
"What? How could you say that?"
Vera screamed at me astounded by my words.
"How could I not? How could I not? Do you know the shame that will come after this? A pregnant teenager. A pastor's daughter that got herself pregnant. A girl who got pregnant by someone who suddenly disappeared. A student that shagged her temporary music teacher. I don't even know where Jordan is. I don't know how I will tell my parents, my Dad, my Dad, he'll probably say "I told you so, she's a LovePeddler". Dave will be so disappointed in me, my Mom will cry so much. People will point fingers at you too Vera, so what other way to prevent this than to just die?
You know the funniest thing, I did this to myself, I wanted to defy him, I wanted to rebel, I wanted to be loved and there was Jordan, it felt like I had one my person to that is supporting me. I.. I... don't even feel God anymore. I can't worship God with my songs anymore, I lost that part of me. I.. I.. "
I choked back on my words as I started sobbing again.
"Why didn't you tell me you were going through this much at home? I'm supposed to be your best friend"
"Because. Because he is still your pastor and you are his church member"
"You idiot. If you had killed yourself, how do you think Dave would have felt? Your Mom? Your Dad? Me? I've you forgotten that there is another life in you now Fe, you want to kill it too?" She stopped for a bit before she continued again.
"We'll get through this together Fe, I promise"
Vera hugged me tightly as we both cried into each other's shoulders.
"Let's get out of here"
She stopped a cab and we both entered as I thought of what I will do next.
Penshalom

Episode 15
REVELATIONS
Song: Hillsong United- All I need is you

I've been keeping my present state a secret but I know it won't be long before it's found out. Vera told me to tell them, my Mom at least, that it was better for me to tell than for them finding out by themselves but I've not had the courage to do so.
There were times I wanted to tell Dave but I hesitated, every time I wanted to, the thought of my father finding out scares me more.
I lost concentration, my mind always thought of what to do with this whole issue. I will be lying if the thought of aborting it has not crossed my mind too many times but the thought of murdering someone never sits well with me.
Vera has been of help to me always encouraging me, she comes by my house more often now, I know it aroused a bit of suspicion but I guess they let it off.
Today is our graduation, I dressed up and walked out gently, my Mom calling me stopped me.
"Yes Mom?"
I turned to her and saw she was not looking at my face but my chest. My heart started hammering and I placed the bag in my hand on my chest.
"Sorry it's just, they look bigger" My Mom said pointing at it.
My Dad who just got out of his room stopped by the door to listen to our conversation.
"I-- I'm wearing a padded bra"
I said quickly.
"Why will you buy a bra bigger than your.."
My Dad stopped talking when he looked at my Mom's face, he cleared his throat and spoke up again.
"Let's go so we won't be late"
I quickly rushed out after him to avoid my Mom's assessing eyes.


EVERYONE IS GENUINELY happy except for me, I have to force a smile on my face to take pictures.
"You are now a graduate sis. Very soon you will be off to college, my baby is growing up"
Dave said fake wiping invisible tears in his eyes.
"Who are you calling baby, baby?"
I smiled at him smacking his head and he grinned at me.
"It's nice to see you smile. It's been a while now"
"Dave I--"
"By the way, I've you gotten a reply from the college you applied to?"
Dave said interrupting me.
"Uh, no"
"Ah. You'll probably get it soon, you are a genius"
He winked at me.
I haven't gotten a reply yet but college is the least of my problems right now.
I suddenly felt weak and exhausted, I looked around but I did not see Vera, she has probably gone back to her parents after us taking pictures.
I walked weakly to my car suddenly feeling dizzy on my way, I looked up, everything started moving in circles, I staggered a bit and almost fell down but someone's hands picked me up.
I tried to see the face properly but everything was blurry. I stopped fighting to try to keep myself awake and finally succumbed to darkness.

I OPENED MY eyes to an unfamiliar room, I sat up abruptly which made me have some dizzy spells, I felt something on my hand, I looked down to see I'm connected to a IV.
I remembered fainting, I must have been rushed to the hospital but no one was in my room right now. As I was about to call out the door to my room opened, my Mom entered, I was about to call out to her but I heard sniffles.
"Mom what's wrong? Is everything okay?"
She turned around sharply noticing I'm awake since she entered the room.
"Felicia you are awake"
She walked up to me failing seriously to hide her tears.
"Mom what's wrong?" I asked worriedly.
The door opened again and I saw Dave entering his eyes red.
Has he been crying too?
"Dave is everything okay?"
I asked again, scared this time, Dave hardly cries. Dave avoided my eyes looking anywhere but me.
"Seriously what's--"
I cut myself short as I put two and two together.
I fainted.
We are in a hospital.
The doctor or whoever attended to me must have discovered it.
They already know.
I looked down shamefully playing with my fingers tears falling from my eyes.
The door opened again and a doctor walked in.
"She can leave now but she has to take good care of herself, any form of stress now can make her lose the…"
"It's okay doctor."
My Mom interrupted him, she probably didn't want me to hear.
"Don't worry Mom I already know"
I said quietly but loud enough for everyone in the room to hear.
Both my Mom and Dave turned to look at me, I can see the shock in their eyes.
"Well, I will advise you come in regularly for checkups"
The doctor rushed out to escape the tense atmosphere.
"You knew?"
Dave spoke up first and I nodded my in reply.
"Since when?" He asked, his voice husky now.
"A month ago"
I dared to look up and I saw Dave avert his eyes but not before I saw the tears in them, my Mom on the other hand just stood there silent.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry"
Dave walked out leaving me with Mom.
"I'm sorry Mom, I'm so sorry."
I continued to whisper still crying, my Mom moved close to me and hugged me.
"It's okay, it's okay baby, we'll figure it out"
I pulled from her arms to ask the dreaded question.
"Does Dad know?"
My Mom stayed quiet for a while before replying.
"Yes. Yes he does Felicia"
Penshalom

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