Going through articles screaming what married women and men should avoid and not do. One would think society would have changed but there is nothing new under the sun.
The rate of divorce and broken homes are so disheartening and the way it has been popularized, one would think its the new trend.
So with the aid of a lot of advice from clergymen, people with long lasting marriages and general experiences, oh and all the lovely write ups on the topic. I decided to pull together this.
Many people make mistakes marrying for the wrong reason, that is another topic for another day. But that doesn't mean that it must fail or end in divorce or separation.
Many enter the boat of marriage, thinking it will just move smoothly, sorry oh. Let me tell you it won't, I have seen heaven made matches who go through tragic times.
Upon realisation of this and that your partner can never be perfect, then you are ready to make it work.
As humans, we aren't made complete or perfect, we work towards it. Even you, yes you reading this you know yourself that you aren't perfect...so stop expecting others to be.
Moving on to the first key to keeping that marriage, which is no other than God. As a Christian you should know that this world can't be without him.
You may say Op abeg, this isn't the church. In this life you must be for someone, so who are you for.
When they say stop reporting and talking to third party, who did those Op think you should talk to? Is that spouse that is so busy or that stubborn wife who feels she is always right.
The person that will fill that position is God, yes him, go on your knees and talk to him, leave everything at his feet, tell him how you feel, God wants to know every detail, he is not bored at all or too busy, he can't be irritated by your continuous chat, rather he wants to be close to us. So there you have it the first key-GOD.
Secondly, know your partner- Many of us, dont know a lot about our partner, I am not saying things you learn on your first date. Luckily, we have forever to learn. We should care to know about the little things from the morning routine to the way he eats, all his/her hobbies, what he/she hates and loves. Their emotion and temperaments. All these build up a home.
That aside the next marriage killer, lack of communication. Ha...baba for the boys. This one kills faster than HIV and does so gradually.
You must know when and how to communicate with your partner, when I say when, I mean the time, does your husband love football, I think talking to him at the time of La Liga or EPL or FIFA is the wrong moment. Instead sit with him if you can endure watching a football match or do something else and if you think you'll forget what you have to say then write it down.
Please make sure you have all his attention, at that moment because men are created to focus on only one thing at a time, I've heard and seen it so many times.
And husbands please dont be busy everytime, make time to hear your wife out each day, dont make it a one sided thing. Listen to her give her your full attention, dont start using your phone or show lack of interest, the woman will feel discouraged. Keep eye contact and try to use body language to show that you're listening.
Talk about the big and little things, the state of the economy, what happened on the road or what you heard on the news. It goes a long way, in making the woman feel that her opinion is held in high estate.
The next on the dissecting board is SILENCE. The book of proverbs goes on and on about silence, women and ladies should learn to keep shut, abeg am a lady too and I know it isn't every time you should talk or answer every thing said to you. Silence is a necessity in day to day life. So learn to keep shut.
NOTE: never talk back at your husband, no please would you do that to your father, give him the respect even though you think he doesn't deserve it. Even if he is a drunk, cheat or is jobless. Never ever talk back at him.
Avoid proving right, I hate that I am right and you are not, and its everywhere. We should stop proving right please even if you are in the right step down. He/ she will realise his/her mistake.
Next up, please do not...dont try it, this one oh, no.
Talking down your partner, ah this has killed so many marriages, relationships and self esteem. Whether in public or at home, please dont ever do it, dont use your partner's weakness as a joke, this hurts and kills any love or even chemistry in any relationship especially marriage.
Furthermore, learn to appreciate your partner, buy gifts, say thank you for the little and big things
it isn't until he buys you a million naira Brazilian wig or that versace shoe. Please say thank you, it eases the mind, makes one feel welcome and adds a feeling of belonging. Thank you does a lot of things, never forget to use it.
I think this my own sef...eh
In addition, ladies please learn to be clean, learn how to keep a home, learn how to keep a tidy environment. Use a broom and dustpan.

Yes that broom, that soap and scrubbing brush, yes that particular one, use it. Keep the place clean, tidy up, wash the bedsheets, dust the surfaces an furnitures, wash those clothes, tidy that kitchen. Homes were broken because of this.
Then both women and men please dress attractively and modestly too...abeg no slaymama here oh. Ensure you look good, smell good and feel good. It boost your self esteem and your partner's too. Learn to keep shape that one has a plus, you'll be healthy and still attractive. Jog and dont sit down and be iya apati. But do everything in moderation.
Then onto the serious issue that tears any man Food and SEX. Yes food, ah delicious food, you must learn to cook oh. If you want him to stay avoid doing diva and going to eatery, instead cook for him, from his best food to native meals, learn how to make them. Many highly societal marriages crumbled because of food. If you dont know how, learn and acquire those skills.
Sex is a must, stop giving excuses and submit, It is your duty if you dont do it, You are a 419...yes the Bible said dont defraud yourself, so you and those yahoo boys, you are in the same category. Dont deny yourself and if you are not up to doing it because of illness or spiritual and cogent reason let your partner know. I have said my own.
Next learn to touch and play, learn to tickle, play games together, behave like little children and dont say am I not too old for that, how old are you? One hundred. Abeg we are all youths. So learn how to play and touch each other without heading for the other room.
Oh before I forget, carry your partner along and do things to build trust. Men will say women can monitor or the vice versa, when you do things that make people distrust you then how do you expect trust? Give them a reason to say yes my husband/ my wife cannot do that. I know him. How? Involve them in little and big things but do so wisely too. Let them know your every step, as a woman never leave the house without telling your hubby where you are headed, what if something goes wrong how will he get to you? What if that phone has network issues? Even if you are fighting, tell him. Let him have a location at least. It creates a sense of security and truth. Husband dont just wake up and go like that...no now, tell her if you cannot write a note, let her know too. Women are broody in nature and tend to watch over everything, that's what make them mothers.
Yes, the next killer and assassin bad character including intolerance, lack of respect, easy irritation, pride, abusive words, gossip and beating up of partner and the lots.
Eh they kill marriages like... That woman that refused to be corrected, and fights her husband or that man that uses his hand against his woman or looks outside when you have one in your trousers...eh the way God will show you pepper eh. In fact... Mrs parrot and gossip tell everything to your friend, eh let her spoil your marriage for you. Yes you may see we have been friends for long now, sorry oh. Do you know her mind? Do you know if she wishes herself in your position? You go ahead and talk away your marriage. Try and inculcate the good habit of talking briefly like your husband. Try it first na...dont say its not possible abeg Op.
And lastly, make your spouse your best friend, learn to talk to each other, give each other space when the need arises, when he comes welcome him with a hug, take his suitcase and jacket, ask how his day was, serve him good food and dont start narration of the day activities abeg, let him eat and relax then you guys can talk. Oh nothing is wrong with keeping friends of the opposite sex as long as it is platonic.
Oh dont let me forget, women get your hands busy, do something whether it is petty trading, tailor, online or just lesson teacher. It goes a long way.
Let me tell you a story, there was a man who was always adamant about his wife being a housewife, unfortunately he didn't live a month after all the advices and left the woman with four children and nothing to help herself with.
I beg the men too, allow them to work, women and ladies dont take this as an excuse not to care for your home.
Remember God, then your home then the others, dont be like Eli oh.
Yes I have said something sha... If you have question or comments, drop it.

Where is chapter one op. This one is introduction. Please complete the eBook please