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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First (29296 Views)
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Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by texazzpete(m): 9:24am On Jan 02, 2018 |
@Op There are people here who are advising you to do what your dad says and build in your village. DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM. They are very foolish people. Of what use is a house in the village to you at this point when you do not live in the village? Do you want to be an aged man when your kids are in their twenties? Do you expect your fiancée to wait forever? Is the fact that you’re paying your youngest brothers school fees - a task that should be your dad’s responsibility- not enough? Go ahead and plan your wedding. If your old man chooses not to attend your wedding, so be it. At 34 you should be living life as a man, making your own decisions. Not dancing to the whims of a man who wants you to build his retirement home for him. If you want to compromise, start moulding a few blocks in the village and draw up a timeline to get the house built within a few years, but still get married now. If e still no gree, bind and gag him and take him for exorcism. 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by Resees: 9:24am On Jan 02, 2018 |
BudeYahooCom: |
Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by texazzpete(m): 9:27am On Jan 02, 2018 |
BudeYahooCom: If he builds in the village, will he not go and still rent a house in town? Or does having a house in the village give you automatic lodging in Ikoyi? How is building a house in the village that he’ll rarely stay in be considered an investment? Someone that is buoyant enough to pay school fees for his kid brother in medical school and you assume he’ll be sleeping under bridge if he gets married. A man of 34 is who you’re upbraiding for ‘rushing into marriage’. Should he marry at 45? You destiny killers should stop giving moronic advice to this man! Such wicked, brainless advice. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by sircrabo: 9:28am On Jan 02, 2018 |
The problem with African parents is the lack of communication skills. They seldom communicate with their children and sso resort to using force to pass a simple message across. There might be truth in the fathers opinion but it's up to him to make the son see reasons. I don't like it when parents threaten their kids with disown just to achieve their interest. And please don't tell me that " what an elder sees sitting down bla bla bla..." If the dad thinks he should build before marriage, he should sit the man(his son) down and talk man to man. If he insists on his opinion, then he should understand his son is not a kid. It's possible he (dad) married at 27 |
Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by Resees: 9:28am On Jan 02, 2018 |
Plain truth is that your dad is against you marrying the girl that's why he brought up the issue of building a house. |
Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by Chiderad(m): 9:57am On Jan 02, 2018 |
Your old man is prying on the fact that you need his "Fatherly Blessing" to explode in life. Be wise. Prayerfully commit everything to God's hand and see what happens thereafter. |
Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by Nobody: 10:04am On Jan 02, 2018 |
You shouldn't havebcome here to disgrace your family on a platform where 80% are student without family responsibilities ro carter for. Please listen to your father and shift your wedding to ending of the year and build that village house bro.I did it without any body reminding me and it pay off... Never despise the word of the elders unless ur dad is not one... Otua ka oha'm n'onu |
Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by Veducci: 10:06am On Jan 02, 2018 |
Young man, your father is far wiser than you are, at least for now. He knows you very well and probably knows that the moment you are married, you might not have the will to remember that building anymore. Again, no one can predict the type of wife you will marry. if she is the type that likes to colonize her husband and separate him from his family, then, bye bye to that building for ever because she will not allow you build it. Further, having a family comes with responsibilities and involves money. By the time you have entered family life and respoistart piling up, you may not have enough to build the house. Lastly, it may be that your dad has no intention of disturbing you after your marriage. So it is wiser that you build the house now so that you will truly be on your own once you get married. On the while, I urge you to build the house. Wedding can wait for just a few months. Do not be under any sort of pressure from the girl. That's how they all pressure. Once they come in, they start scattering their husband's family. Build the house. |
Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by Nobody: 10:07am On Jan 02, 2018 |
keacy: You shouldn't havebcome here to disgrace your family on a platform where 80% are student without family responsibilities ro carter for. Please listen to your father and shift your wedding to ending of the year and build that village house bro.I did it without any body reminding me and it pay off... Never despise the word of the elders unless ur dad is not one... Otua ka oha'm n'onu |
Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by jokymoon(m): 10:13am On Jan 02, 2018 |
The way some people think baffles me.. Do they have brains atall? This is something u need not to be told if ur a wise man.. If u have d money to build house u shud have done Dat b4 even thinking of marriage.. Every dad wants his son to be better dan him.. So am sure his father is disappointed he cudnt build a huz ND now wants his son to make d family proud.. Is Dat a sin? Nawa oo but I think u can do both of dem dis year only but if u believe.. |
Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by CioAngels(f): 10:45am On Jan 02, 2018 |
The said he does not like the girl at first, now must build a house first before you marry her. I think this is wickedness, did ask if you have the money to build house for now? Please, see people that can talk to him to let get married while building house will come later. |
Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by tomdon(m): 11:12am On Jan 02, 2018 |
keacy: If it will delay it to just December or next year means you have some millions in your account. Must you delay one for the other? All these rubbish post sef, na you go first pay medical student fees |
Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by sirliu(m): 11:16am On Jan 02, 2018 |
Take the case to people he respects. Maybe your village elders. They might be able to sway him and advise both of you. |
Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by Lorax(f): 11:27am On Jan 02, 2018 |
Do not ever make the mistake of building a house in the village when do not have a tangible investment. If things go bad finance wise you can't get anything from that house money-wise. My dad and relatives made that mistake. You can build when all investment has been secured. |
Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by Jointhemiltons2(m): 11:58am On Jan 02, 2018 |
LivinaPatrick:And the father will still be the one to say “At your age ur mates have 4children and ur unmarried” 1 Like |
Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by mfm04622: 12:07pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
JONNYSPUTE: So what is wrong in sleeping in hotel after the traditional wedding? 2 Likes |
Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by roqrules04(m): 12:45pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
Your dad knows that as soon as you get married you will have your personal responsibility and you won't have time for them again |
Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by texazzpete(m): 4:49pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
JONNYSPUTE: So you will build a whole house just so you have a place to sleep after traditional wedding, trad that is usually done in the village or house of the bride? How can you enter 2018 with such idiocy?! Have you no regard for those who paid for your education? |
Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by armyofone(m): 7:16pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
texazzpete: Lol @ destiny killers! |
Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by mastermaestro(m): 7:31pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
emonkey: Go back and read the guy's story before coming back to type something relevant. The selfish father isn't asking him to build a house where he would reside with his wife when they tie the knot. The selfish father simply wants a fantasy retirement home for himself in a village where this dude cannot move to unless he is done with life like his father. This isn't a bad desire but it is a devious, self-centered request seeing that the young single dude is frantically planning to get married in no time. Understood? |
Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by frozen70(f): 7:33pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
keacy: Well am sorry that you are in a fix. Have a one on one discussion with your dad, tell hi your mind, tell him that houses will come at the right time, let him know you want to settle down and have grandchildren that will keep him busy. If he insists tell him you want to do introduction then start the building because you don't want to loose her. If he agrees discus with your wife to be let her be aware and the essence of telling her is because you need her support, go ahead and do introduction and start leaving with her as couple, then start the building project, you can build 2 bedrooms and parlour when you are ready you build your own house. Mind you that the house is going to be for the whole family that means its a family house so you can't come and claim it. As time goes on years later you can do marriage but during that time you can do registry. In this case you are married and leaving with your wife ,having kids and also building the house . But he should be ashamed of himself for putting you through such task, a house he can't built why is he forcing you to build it ,he has leaved his life and should allow you to leave your, being a first born shouldn't be a punishment but a blessing. |
Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by ChidiAlaigbo: 10:24pm On Jan 02, 2018 |
MUST YOU FOOLISH ALREADY IMPOVERISHED NIGERIANS ALWAYS HAVE KIDS? After all you only pass on your poverty and underdeveloped rubbish country.....Haba! Kid! Kids! Kids! |
Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by Aragon: 12:56am On Jan 04, 2018 |
olalat: Excuse me!!! I am not only a father, but also somebody that has been giving people total strangers (Nigerians) money to assist them because of the Issue that I was trying to address with my post. I don't know how many Nigerians DM or ask you for financial help everytime, but I have so many people crying that they are starving etc...... Now to this post, where are the Parents of those people that are starving? Why would Parents bring 5-8 kids into this world when they know that cant even afford or take care of 3? You bring kids to this world to Love and Care for them and not because you want them to pay you back... It is your Choice to have Kids, as no unborn Child came to you in your dream screaming "please bring me to the world" The Idea that kids must pay Parents back is very wrong as it is your CHOICE to have kids, they are not pun to be used by us! I know so many people that have been abused by their Parents that you cant even begin to imagine cos the Parents feel it's their Right! I know girls with Money that their Parents has refused to allow them Marry cos they believe they wouldnt be enjoying their Money like before... If the Only reason you are having a Child is to use that child as a bank, then don't have one... Enjoy whatever you have and be at peace, such Mentality is not a sign of progress... Maybe I sound harsh, but I have seen too much of this and it is wrong! Children should not put their life on Hold because of Parents, especially selfish ones like the OP's own. Allow the your child be, please! |
Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by queenval: 10:05am On Jan 05, 2018 |
oshe111:Nope.its not advisable at all. |
Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by queenval: 10:06am On Jan 05, 2018 |
Aragon:Excellent. I hope many will learn. 1 Like |
Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by Fisfrank(m): 10:34am On Jan 05, 2018 |
JONNYSPUTE: what if his father town not close ? |
Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by LebenNG: 11:00pm On Aug 21, 2020 |
amokeme:You are right dear, if only he advised his son without threats, he only means well. |
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