To All Those Who Sent Me Chain Mails. - Jokes Etc - Nairaland
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My Girlfriend Sent Me This On WHATSAPP, What Does She Mean! / My Fiancee's Senior Brother Sent Me This Text. . . / Romade The Chain Smoker- Joke (2) (3) (4)
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| To All Those Who Sent Me Chain Mails. by uzygirl(f): 4:55pm On Feb 28, 2007 |
Hi All: I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your chain letters over the past years. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans. I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from the rat faeces and urine. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones and I don't do to theatres to watch movies anymore, because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer use toilet seats because there may be tropical diseases lurking underneath. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al -Qaeda in disguise. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our troops. I no longer wear lipstick because the lead in them will make me very sick. I no longer drink milk nor eat dairy products because they will make me very sick. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore , and Uzbekistan . I no longer eat pre-packaged foods because the oestrogen they contain will turn me gay. I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer date the opposite sex because they will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice. Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. (the BIBLE did not mention it works that way!) I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time). I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me! I will now return the favour. If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhoea will crap on your head at 6:00 PM this evening and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your armpits. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend's neighbour's cousin, and he's a lawyer. DON'T LAUGH JUST FORWARD. |
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Bank Teller / Three Wishes / A Company
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