Hi Everyone,

As I write this I dont even know where to start. I am Zimbabwean and I have dated a Yoruba man for 10 years now. We have our fair share of problems but he has remained consistant over the years. I met him when I was 19. He courted me for a full year before I accepted him. I went to school for my bachelors and Masters different continents he always made an effort to follow me wherever I went, or be there whenever I needed anything he would make sure he provided where he could and its done.

I eventually moved to the USA and he eventually relocated to be with me. I have a good job and I come for a very well off family. Im not perfect but I constantly strive to grow in my relationship with Christ. I cook most of the nigerian dishes. Take care of him when he needs me and I support him when necessary too. One time this man came to live with me for a very long time. He didnt support me with rent, bills or food. I did it anyway out of love. You guys, I also stayed for years when he didnt meet any of my needs and all he would say is 'God will provide.' All I ever wanted was an equal partner..of course I submit and Im respectful but I would really also want a man who takes care of his home and family as if you dont it causes resentment.

Anyway fast forward ..4 months ago we had a big fight and it was over me encouraging him to get a job and not rely on hustling, buying and selling etc. The fights started about how I have changed, im this and that. I quickly became the enemy. I also warned him about alcohol consumption as a lot of his money atleast $500 a month is spent on booze and when he drinks he becomes very aggressive and angry. He also asked me for a lump sum of money. He wanted me to withdraw it from my savings and give it to him but I could not do so at the time. Finances make relationships akward also. Lastly he was pestering me about having a baby for him. I said I will not, I was raised well and will never have a child out of wedlock. Anyway he then moved out and went back to his old state and got a place.

Whilst there a friend he knew from school contacted him on ig. They started talking again and the girl made trips to his house. He said about 4. He hardly knows the girl and said they just attended the same school in naija.

Fast forward to my birthday he comes to visit and he started crying. I have never seen this man cry EVER.
I asked him what was wrong and he mentioned his mom and a lot was going on in his life..I Knew she wasn't too well before.I started crying too and comforted him..he left and started acting funny the next day.

After a lot of back and forth days later he broke down again and told me he got a girl pregnant and he was crying saying i wish it wasnt happening and it was you. He sent a message to the girl telling her to get rid of it and asked her why she would want to get married for a man she doesnt know after one night stand. "Girls that trap men sha..

It was a mistake he was drunk and just wanted to bust a nut. They used protection by the way and she was acting like she does not know how it happened. I asked him if he disposed of the condom, no she did. I asked him if he was a learner? Women trap men all the time with sperm.

He went over to her place I was on the other end of the phone listening in. She said she wouldn't do it and was acting possesesd. She said a whole speech about how she can do it alone and his name wont be on birth certificate etc and how she doesn't want a man who does not want her child. She also said 'if your parents did that to you would you be here driving this very expensive car' clap hands for the gold digger everyone. Just as I had suspected.other women see a good thing and want a finished product, they dont know its someone elses work. He told her, he can never ever be with her even if she kept it. He left her house.

30 minutes later his door bell rings and we were still on the phone. She says a whole speech and says she will remove it. When she left we celebrated and we were so happy. God forgive us. I said to myself now I only have to work on trusting him again. Next day she calls and says she changes her mind.. goodness..my boyfriend doesnt want her or her child and she's forcing it on him. Is it by force yoruba gehs sha lol..

I also really need prayers guys I think she does jazz. She told my bf that her pastor in nigeria told her he has someone in his life. What kin pastor b dat.bf is scared to display my pics and I cant see her face because he thinks she might want to harm me. A pastor of God we talked to wanted to talk to her but she says she fears what the girl might do to her.

Omg please pray for me. My boyfriend and i really didnt want a broken home.whats the point of keeping a baby the man doesn't want. I asked him to ask her how much she wants and we will give her the money. She blocked him and got her brother to call him.

He was so desperate he was willing to do anything for her to get rid of it but she wont budge, she has even blocked him.I am praying its not his, she's not pregnant or she just lets us be abeg. Please give me guidance and support. Should i leave this man, will I be able to live with a bastard child and constant reminder of his infidelity? I forgave him eventually after his people begged me and due to our history.

He wants to go see my people so we do the trad, engagement etc so we start on our family..he waited all these years for me to go to school and do what I needed to do and now this. I have to see that mumu woman who ruined my life forever. But believe me you although her child will be catered for she will not get a dime from me or my personal family's inheritance and the wealth acquired from me and my husband. The child will get something but not to the extant she thinks. I will do my homework and file paperwork to protect myself.

Is it common for Yoruba women to trap men. You dont even know this man and one night stand you wont let him be..nawawo.

Do I seem desperate for staying? It has been 10 years and this was not only my man but my friend. I have everything going for me, men approach me always but I turn them down. I have zero baggage.

Please help

Huh so sad

When will people learn not to be racists.....Yoruba-this-Igbo-that! Hian

You used condom, next thing a girl says she's pregnant. You don't want it and she insists to keep it and you are bothered. She can't force it on him only if the guy is playing soft like waiting for the girl to block him on Instagram....I'd have done that and stopped picking her calls,then she'd take me seriously!

OP as for you, Lord of the rings....10 years.....the drunkard you do not want before is the one you are advocating for now abi...you want to marry him, you refused to point out if he is still reckless with spendings and has stopped sipping blaq!

I'm not sure about marrying a lady with an exorbitant lifestyle, but I'm sure that marrying a man that spends recklessly and a man that left you because you told him to stop drinking will make your life miserable!

He left you for alcohol... From reckless spending to boozing to domestic violence is what you are bargaining for after marriage.

Unmhmm.. Na wa o. Like someone said 10 years of free fuvks, Lolz lolzzz, who gives that shitt and yet the guy seems slipping away . Well I believe you've already resolved in your heart what to do, just do it and pray things fall in place.

Lol

New year new ghen ghen...

Bae, if you can't cope, you know what to do.

From your write up, he's irresponsible. Spending money on alcohol when hustling? Putting blames on you?
I know it's painful that you've lost a decade of your life. Marriage is a long term thing oo, can you cope?

Trust has been breached already. This trend has started and because you can forgive whatever gabbage he brings to the table, he'll bring more. And then, it would be too late because you're married. Don't let your sacrifices, wasted time and emotion cloud your reasoning. It's hard tho, easier said than done.

When you get married, the lady and her child becomes a part of your life whether you like it or not.

Lol. 10years of free fvcks? Yeah i like that!

Reverse the table and think if you would stand a chance. Some Women and fish brain sef. OP marry him, na msitake he will change. Marry and submit and be good to him. Abeg send his mom some cash too, she needs it for health bill. Zero baggage ko, when you are so blindly in love with is man? My dear, he is the baggage that you will carry even after you marry someone else. Biko, stay with him

and what da heck stopped you from being impregnated?? serves you right gal.

No one would pray for you
You would pray for yourself
Don't paint yoruba women bad....You should leave that man ASAP

You really invested in that relationship...I blame you for investing so much...Were you trying to be a good girl What da heck!

Ten whole years and he didn't even bother to pop the question...You paused your life and was waiting for one man...you didn't even ask him his plans towards the relationship and all he could do was to go and impregnate another girl....Open your eyes wide!!...He's a backstabber

I really don't know what to say..... Seems like you've figured it out already

10 years?

xedyl:
and what da heck stopped you from being impregnated?? serves you right gal.

Before I give op my two cents, I'll have to reply you.

What sort of very stupid comment is this? Aren't you the ones that go around insulting baby mamas? Didn't you read in her writeup that it's against her beliefs? Jeez!
Some comments you read daily you'll be wondering where they dropped their brains before logging in.

Gucciqueen38:
10 years?

You have made your decision and you seem to have decent reasons for reaching those decisions

I don't want to judge anyone involved because it will be unjust to judge them without hearing their own version of the story

All the same, just be rest assured that you haven't seen the last of that lady. I also think you need to clarify some issues with your partner

I don't suppose you are desperate because of the sacrifices you have made for each other over the years, although I don't really understand why you are looking for some public validation for the decisions you have already taken.

Kimcutie:

I know.. Have been down with typhoid.
Just on and off here, I'm even on drip.
Will do soon.

Gucciqueen38:
I know.. Have been down with typhoid.
Just on and off here, I'm even on drip.
Will do soon.

Oh sorry dear.

You have everything going for you. Why can't you get a God fearing man without any baggage.

A lot of well meaning Nigerian men will literally worship you.

Rubysims:
Hi Everyone,

As I write this I dont even know where to start. I am Zimbabwean and I have dated a Yoruba man

You were already finished at that moment

.

MhizzAJ:
No one would pray for you
You would pray for yourself
Don't paint yoruba women bad....You should leave that man ASAP

You really invested in that relationship...I blame you for investing so much...Were you trying to be a good girl What da heck!

Ten whole years and he didn't even bother to pop the question...You paused your life and was waiting for one man...you didn't even ask him his plans towards the relationship and all he could do was to go and impregnate another girl....Open your eyes wide!!...He's a backstabber

See how this one is shouting up and down.

Didn't you read where she said he had to wait till she was through with schooling or the part where the girl hooked up with him on ig or the part they had a one night stand while he was drunk?

nairaland girls and their myopic reasoning sef

Lol

Afonjaz sef

xedyl:
and what da heck stopped you from being impregnated?? serves you right gal.

What kind of foolishness is this? and you'll be the first to call her derogatory names when she becomes a single mom .


Op leave that ungrateful nigga ASAP before he leaves you tomorrow, you don't need prayers, you need sense and wisdom.

U are as simple as the lord without a ring....ten years and still counting.... kantinue

Na wa o

You are so desperate, how do you know it's one night stand? Where you there? Desperate girlfriend

He hehehe
You are marrying your bahgagef already

Don't worry
We will pray for it to last

I don't believe this story... It's like op is beefing on Yoruba babes... Our guys, Yoruba demons... Our babes, Juju makers... And you won't stop running after us... Shuu

Lord in the rings, both are playing you! Wise up and move on

My sister, you met with a Yoruba demon...

*In Kenny Blaq's voice*

Ki shokore my dear, man's not hottttt.

Kimcutie:
Oh sorry dear.

Thank you...

Daemon wailer

Bibi294:
I don't believe this story... It's like op is beefing on Yoruba babes Our guys, Yoruba demons... Our babes, Juju makers... And you won't stop running after us... Shuu

Lord in the rings, both are playing you! Wise up and move on

I also thought as much

Why use "a Yoruba man" instead of just a Nigerian man?

Why ask, "are Yoruba men generally like this"?


if the story is true, I don't think they are playing her though. She said they dated for ten years and he waited for her to finish college

greiboy:
I also thought as much

Why use "a Yoruba man" instead of just a Nigerian man?

Why ask, "are Yoruba men generally like this"?


if the story is true, I don't think they are playing her though. She said they dated for ten years and he waited for her to finish college

Just go through the story well... They never had a stable relationship. ..
The guy asked to impregnate her already...