greetings all

I'm a young south african woman, 25 years old to be exact, and i love good people from anywhere the world. I'm currently single which means im open to meeting some and thankfully I don't have any prejudice against anyone . recently, However, I've been having negetive interactions with Nigerian men in particular but I decided that before I write them off completely I should do my research and see if perhaps there's a misunderstanding due to a Cultural difference or something. I also think describing my personality might be beneficial because then you can also tell me if it's just me or not. I'm hoping to get a lot of response From nigerian women too so you can tell me from your own experience.

If you know me you'll know that I'm a bit of a Tomboy and a Music Geek. I have good male friends, in fact, I find that I get along better with guys than with girls. I'd say, atleast, I'm not completely unfamiliar to the ways of men. I'm also a music producer so the type of guys I'm surrounded by are usually your hip hop loving, slang talkin, sneakers n tattoos americanised types. because of this I tend to be a lil playful and silly since my friends are bit immature at times. I, personally, feel that the guys around my vicinty don't make for a good partner and, even though I love my lil trapheads, I tend to be more attracted to the business-type guys instead. I like them because they seem responsible, capable and organised unlike me who's a complete joker and goofball. I think this is why i find myself being attracted to nigerian men coz usually the nigerian men that come to South Africa always look so polished and debonair.

Things usually go well in the beginining when i date a nigerian guy since they usually seem sweet and they shower you with compliments, They usually claim to be God-Fearing and normally they will pay the bill at the restuarants ( even though they forget to open doors Lol). Nigerian guys tend to love spending money on girls and making you feel beautiful but, so far, I feel like that's about it. It always falls apart for me i feel like everything ,whoever they guy is, did was insincere and that he was just trying to get into my pants. It always feels like when a Nigerian guy is nice to you or spends money on you it comes with the expectation of sex or something. It makes me feel dirty like im some prostitute or something. I hate feeling that way so usually I end up offering to pay the bill which I wish I didn't have to do because i like it when a guy spoils me, Not because he has to but becuase he wants to. I feel like they turn the relationship into a transaction and it really hurts my feelings. It gets even more scary when they started getting aggressive with you as if you actually owe them something .

I've been in a situation, twice, with a nigerian guy where I thought he was going to rape me becuase i would not give him sex . He felt entitled simply because got me a birthday present ,something really cheap by the way but I didn't mind coz he didn't earn as much as i do. I told him he was a creep and never saw him again. The other guy thought he deserved sex because he used his energy to come see me . I sent him back with an uber all expenses paid and he never heard a word from me again !! Now I have anxiety whenever a nigerian guy approaches me coz i'm afraid i'll get raped!! . I know this isn't fair to think about all nigerian men but, its not that I think every nigerian guy is a rapist, it's just that i'm afraid that becuase we dnt understand each other and our dating styles I might end up getting hurt. At first I was blaming myself a bit coz im a shy person and when the guys were being all handsy I wasnt agressive. I didn't think I had to fight for him to stop. I thought a simple No would satisfy but maybe they thought I was playing hard to get (which is bullshit). What would you say is the best way for me to handle Nigerian men if a want a successful relationship.

Men are men. Irrespective of the difference in climes, there're traits that are peculiar to them. You've only dated two Nigerian guys or at most three who happened to be fùckboys_Does this your assertion mean you don't have South African men that sees women as sex objects and don't miss the opportunity to treat them as such?. As a Nigerian, I know we have the good, bad and ugly...It all depends to who you meet.

In order to ease your fears, stop dating Nigerian men, and go for your country men. Hope they all treat you the way you'd want to be treated.

Babe
i felt your pain but don't be shy when dating a nigerian guy, no matter how small the gift you receive from a guy appreciate it.
Don't give up on nigerian guyz a good one will come soon.

u just simply have to accept dat not all men r good. yeah u dated a few with bad characters but dont be quick to judge d whole Nigerian men simply because of a few u've encountered. nd if u feel Nigerian men r bad, den stick wif ur country men.

Then stop dating Nigerians.

I'm sure you are part of the people killing and burning Nigerians properties in SA

Yeye people

25 yrs thou...
where were you when you were 19.

First of all, enlighten your countrymen that not all Nigerians are drug dealers...Killing them doesn't make any difference if actually they are.

This same mentality is the reason y'all judge all Nigerians drug dealers

To your question...Which ever nationality u are dating always go for matured ones

@ OP I think that ur mindset has a lot to do with the pple u attract Nigerian or not. Nigeria is a very complex country which is full of different kinds of ppl all across the board. Widen ur scope, don't get urself into a compromising situation and have fun...besides yes many Nigerian men think that one has to test the car that has just been serviced, but also many just want to have a partner who understands. Look for the type that suits you best....

Cheers!