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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / TV/Movies / Nollywood: You Can Do Better! (991 Views)
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Nollywood: You Can Do Better! by goldenray(m): 10:01am On Mar 02, 2007 |
ok folks. Nollywood is growing real fast. But have you noticed some major errors, unneccesary parts and absolute nonsensical features of Naija movies? This thread is dedicated to listing some of the abnormalities/'funnies' that you have noticed about nollywood movies that ought to be eradicated. common, lets get the ball rolling! |
Re: Nollywood: You Can Do Better! by goldenray(m): 10:04am On Mar 02, 2007 |
heres some common ones. I guess you already thought of majority: THINGS WE'VE LEARN'T FROM NOLLYWOOD! 1. Every problem you have is spiritual. 2. In every romance movie, someone must die. 3. It is possible to hit a person without actually touching them! 4. Anyone who gets hit by a car dies immediately, well in like 90% of the time! 5. Poisoned food always tastes better, 6. The best way to make money is by visiting a 'Babalawo'. 7. At least one of a pair of twins (identical or not) is born evil. 8. There is never an end to your suffering, except death! 9. With a pastor, all things are possible! 10. A movie can be titled anything, such as - the boy is mine, Two rats, Spanner, Calculator,! 11. A movie has not been made if at least one actor/actress has not- 'shelled' (twisted his/her lips to speak wrong phonetics)! 12. You are in love, you want to take your girl out, the best place you take her to is, Mr. Biggs, Tantalizers, the beach or , , the best, take her to buy some new ugly clothes! 13. An Igbo movie has been made if, * You visit a 'Babalawo' * A fleet of cars is shown off * Kanayo 'O' Kanayo is in the movie * Pete Edochie is also there too! * To get rich it is mandatory you join a cult! 14. Gun shots and Knock-out sound the same! 15. Most times the title has absolutely nothing to do with the movie. 16. A love story has not been produced if it does not have one or two of the following cast actresses- * Stella Damascus * Stephanie Okereke * Genevieve Nnaji * Omotola Jalade * Rita Dominic 17. The police are extremely 'efficient' unlike their counterparts in real life, 18. An actress can wear the same hairdo for more than a year, 19. It is permissible to wear very dark shades in the night! 20. When you are shot in the chest, it really doesn't matter; your head will be bandaged! Same for your legs! 21. When advertising a movie, you really should shout because, people are deaf? 22. When you are extremely poor, you will still be able to afford- very good furniture, T.V., but you won't be able to send your kids to school keep posting |
Re: Nollywood: You Can Do Better! by Raymand(m): 2:27pm On Mar 02, 2007 |
*Bows* What more can be said! you totally flogged it! thats it right there. . . but come on man, is it only in Nollywood? what about Hollywood. . . 1. When been chased by a serial killer ALWAYS hide in the closet. 2. The good guys ALWAYS win in the end, plus they get the girls and not to mention hot sex 3. The black guys ALWAYS die first in horror movies. 4. The superintendent is ALWAYS black. 5. Minor good guys don't die without leaving instructions. . . ". . .Take care of my son, help him off drugs. . ." you got shot a thousand times just die betch! 6. The Chinese guys ALWAYS know karate. 7. Steven Siegal ALWAYS breaks body parts in his movies. 8. The black guys are ALWAYS low life crack heads who talk in encoded speeches, yo feelin' me? 9. The fat guys are ALWAYS anti social. The list goes on and on, i haven't even gone to those annoying teen movies, Nollywood sucks basic! but it's OUR Nollywood, so saying that they're over stereotypical is wrong, the whole movie industry is stereotypical. |
Re: Nollywood: You Can Do Better! by cuteass1(f): 10:19pm On Mar 02, 2007 |
You guys have said it all. I do find it boring that every movie in the market now is a repitition of an earlier movie just that the venue and actors/actresses have been changed. You can almost predict what's going to happen next. |
Re: Nollywood: You Can Do Better! by Busta(f): 11:49pm On Mar 02, 2007 |
all those flaws has been there since the came into existence and its still there today. doubt if there can be any change to that. |
Re: Nollywood: You Can Do Better! by mohawkchic(f): 8:30pm On Mar 28, 2007 |
Ooooh well,there's Hollywood,Bollywood then the not so appreciated Nollywood,cool thing is ur rankin among the only three "llywood",i do agree they can do better @ nollywood but hey Rome wasnt Built in a Day so hopefully they will do better w/time |
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