Don't be angry when I pass my judgement. She has no case, you are wrong. Either you are too young to be married or not matured enough. Go and sort yourself out and live in peace.

Wonder what you will do when you see more complex situations in marriage.

Will refusing to eat her food solve the problem?
Communication is key, not yelling on the phone!!
Sit her down, and share your heart desires with her. Remember the love of your first few days after your marriage.
Distrust is inimical to a healthy relationship

Dont be too quick go make pronouncements...

MhizzAJ:
God knows i can't get married to any man that doesn't know how to cook and do some basic chores

You put her under pressure, harassed her incessantly with calls and you said you can cook, you would have just made tea and ate bread. Perhaps there were some things she wanted to do at once outside and had it been you were patient, she would have gisted you when she got back, Let Us men not get this submissive thing out of context, Be submissive doesn't mean she is a slave, she is a human being that you should always care for, Her forgetting her ring is no big deal, we have all done it at one point or the other. Your WIFE is not a GIRLFRIEND, correct her with patience and in love. Cheers, go and make peace with your wife.

fhutson500:
Nlanders,

Good afternoon all, something happened of recent I thought I should make it known here. I work from home, cos my wife runs a daycare, though she's got two Nannies that work with her which means she gets to work at anytime she wants at times.

This fateful morning, I had gone to drop the kids @school and branched at the carwash to wash the car, on getting there, she called me that she needs to leave home to meet up the nanny and assist at the daycare cos the other nanny has not arrived, I said can you quickly make something for me to eat b4 u leave, she
said time has gone that she wont be able to do that, being a very understanding and considerate husband, I said she could leave, that I'll sort myself.

In fact she was so much in a rush that she had to leave our maid that follows her from home to work @ home cos the lady was still in the bathroom like she told me. It wasn't up to 10mins, maybe she forgot oo, she said there is traffic jam on the road, that it seems that fuel scarcity is looming again due to queue, asking me if that was the case, Instead of answering her question, I asked where she was going, because that wasn't the way to the daycare she claimed she was heading to. She said she wants to go and pick her internet modem she forgot @ fcmb bank. I was like, but you left due to the fact that you wanted to assist the only nanny with the kids @ daycare, how come modem is more important than that or the food I begged you to make b4 u left, she said well I just have to go there now before her modem vanishes, I said no P.

At that time, I was back home and was really hungry, am the type that makes food, but the hustle in January was hella much, the motive of having to do anything was greatly paralytic, I take care of all the bills, so I understand what am talking about, body nor be fire wood. So i called her later on to ask if she can come home to quickly make the food, work place to home is like 5 mins drive, she said she's been stuck in traffic that she would need to head back to the creche since she didn't go there at first, I was like no P.

10 mins later, I called to ask her something, she apparently was in a noisy environment, I was like, aren't u back at the daycare, she was like NO, I quickly branched at the market to buy something, in which Market wasn't even far from home, like 2 mins, at that moment, I was so angry, so I flared up, I told her 'but why are u doing this", all along the reason u left the house has not been met to the detriment of the hunger am going through now, I was like u know what don't bother, will sort myself, and she was like no P.

However, she had left her wedding band on the room table, though we both agreed that whenever she forgets her ring, she would have to come back home to pick it, so I quickly used the ring as opportunity to trick her home, I was like come and pick ur ring, u have forgotten it again, she was like no oo, she cant, I was like have u forgotten our agreement, I said just come home and pick it. 4 mins later, she bashed in, started yelling, I am sure its because of trust u have enforced me to come home and pick the ring, blah blah blah, at the worms in my stomach were doing takwando training at the moment, I just kept quiet, she tried to abusively hold my head acting like she wanted to pet me, I withdrew, next thing, she just hissed and left, saying I am not even picking the ring, you can do your worse. From that day, I have decided not to eat her food, 2nd reason I am posting this is regarding this thread below:

https://www.nairaland.com/1307880/not-eating-wife-food-punishment

Is my situation legitimate enough to deny her food? Cos it seems a lot of people are against refusal of wifey food no matter the situation, but i feel the situation here is different. Plus she has been remorseless about the situation, and 7 years already into this union, we have been battling the issue of her responsibility on food from day 1, old problem that I feel should have expired, so we can work on new probs. Brothers and sisters, your 10kobo is needed.

Cry me a river, Mr man. Your explanation does not hold any base. Go and make up with your wife and stop coming to nairaland to find pity which you will never get. How can you even bring up your marriage issues here? No respect for the privacy of your home. Quit being a spoilt child and grow up like a man. Go and make peace with your wife and stop giving the devil a fork to dine with you in your home.

If you feel your wife is cheating on you, ask her to her face and watch her reaction.
Seems it's an ego thing now, you can tactically ask for food and tey to make her laugh and you guys can talk.Dont get upset and emotional, just be calm.
Don't bring family issues over to nairaland.
I was tempted to do it once last September and I resisted, my pastor came surprisingly on a Thursday evening and none of us informed him about our quarrel and the matter was settled that night.
You also gotta be in charge bro

peacettw:
Not eating your wife's food is no longer considered a punishment. You are doing her a favour and punishing yourself

It depends on the type of wife. Good wives still see it as punishment

Ladyhippolyta88:
You have sense.

You have no valid reason for refusing to eat wife's food. I can't help but pity the poor woman for marrying a breast-sucking over grown baby who whines at the slightest provocation. What kind of a man torments his partner with unnecessary calls over something he could easily sort out? Is it a crime if you help wife out in the kitchen and/or keep some food for her so she can eat if she comes back? Stop irritating and frustrating your wife.. If you are tired of the union let it be known to her instead of acting like a cunt

Axiwaju

So petty! Very irritating!

Bros no be you dey drop money for food stuffs? I beg eat o na your money o.

Well I think there are 2 sides to everything. Most comments above already addressed the OPs fault, so I'll focus on the wife.
It's TOTALLY wrong to leave the house without cooking for your husband.
No matter how much in a hurry you are, you ask the maid to buy common bread and you make toast.
But to leave without any provision is wrong.

Whether we like it or not, those forming Oyibo or feminist, couples have some defined roles.
The man provides, the woman upkeeps. Now economic situations & modernization have caused the roles to overlap, meaning some women now work and are coproviders and some men cook and do other domestics.

This is totally understandable, but each party should still know & strive to perform their roles and appreciate the other party for helping out.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Nor be only clear she nor talk say na your type she dey find.

The type that will chop her maid I guess!

MhizzAJ:
God knows i can't get married to any man that doesn't know how to cook and do some basic chores

See you. Some guys won't cook or do house chores after marriage. Do you know that?

Hmmm

MhizzAJ:
God knows i can't get married to any man that doesn't know how to cook and do some basic chores

no wonder you're still on the market.

There's is no issue here. I don't know wy a guy will be the nag in the house. She shd b the one chasing u for not wearing ur ring.

Seahawk:
what’s giving you people the idea that a single lady is worse off than a married one?

A single lady who is living her dream life is better than one who is married to an insecure (practically handicapped) man who can’t even make his own breakfast. You people and your useless egos

What sort of a dream life can a single nairaland lady live? meanwhile, why not compare a single lady living her dream life to that married woman who is also living a fulfilled life? after all, there are many people in a blessed and blissful marriage

the first time my hubby tried that with me in our marriage..i was so upset and sad.
The second time was while pregnant and battling with morning sickness..omo i was happy. Me that i wasn't even ready to cook before in my state. For two days i no enter kitchen. I secretly hoped the quarrel go continue for a while..

These days you're doing some women favour if you dont eat her food

Ladyhippolyta88:
See your baby mentality did she tell you she was looking for a husband what she said is her choice and opinion and nothing wrong in her requirements.

See your baby mentality..did she tell u she wanna remain single for life or to be a babymama? can't u read her dumb dream husband?

MhizzAJ:
God knows i can't get married to any man that doesn't know how to cook and do some basic chores

u don dey crase again

Oga,

1. You don't cut off your nose to spite your face. Na you hunger go hammer �
2. You don't go about seeking a way to punish your wife for whatever reason. You might be angry for a while, but youve got to forgive her. This is even for your own good and peace of mind.
3. Learn not to harrass your woman with calls. You can't live life suspecting her. You will just kill urself before your time. Then your people go dey accuse her say na she kill you. Before you know am, another guy don dey cut her eye.
4. Love , not control your wife.
5. Na cook you marry abi na wife wey go also be your friend and lover​?

Humble your self my guy. I know say ego fit kill man. Settle with your wife. Make una do #makeup​Sex.

Enjoy your wife and life.

#My OneKobo

Oyindidi:
Na normal food

she uses her pusi water to parboil rice

Two year old throwing tantrum.

If you like, don't eat.

Me I will cook for myself and eat. I too like my husband. It is when he is angry with you he will demand for ofe onugbu with stockfish and Cowleg. You will pound akpu taya because he is angry.

It is when he is happy he will enter kitchen and say baby lemme make you breakfast in bed. So not eating my food is not punishment in my dictionary, it is dictating left and right that is punishment

highchief1:
u don dey crase again

It's too early
I'm very normal

MhizzAJ:

It's too early
I'm very normal

so baby y r u writing that why do u always Like to get me angry

Ladyhippolyta88:
The last time I checked it is my life not yours I want a domestic husband,I am also domestic and we would both work.I would not do all the work in the house he MUST assist and we would both be working if that is a fantasy to you so be it as for me it is my reality.I am also a hardworking and smartworking lady so your argument holds no water because I do not go with the school of thought that it is only a man that provides.

Fantastic!!!
There's no point replying them. They don't know it's 2018

Any man that doesn't know how to cook will starve to death

Some can't even do simple chores....Always waiting for their wife to come back home and do it like she's a slave

Nairaland guys are so weird

keepingmum:
What a nag of a man!!! After saying you ll sort yourself with food you now start making calls because of food, ring and sex,??
Where do women see this type of men? Such a petty and childish manchild
Whenever hunger catch you, you' ll beg your wife for food because there's no man born of a woman that ll say he's punishing me by not eating my food....if you like buy food from outside or get a babe to cook for you....when they use poison or jazz to reset YOUR destiny its YOUR problem alone and MY life will go on

God bless u

I like the love in your family, but the problem is that your wife is taking your simplicity and familiarity for granted, that's woman for you, they always take things for granted, my advice excuse yourself from home for days or week by the time you come back she will have re adjust herself.

MhizzAJ:
God knows i can't get married to any man that doesn't know how to cook and do some basic chores

Shilloh 2050 await you

This man behaves childish, I hate childish men, why disturb her when you can just buy INDOMIE and cook, or simple just eat outside, and when she comes back you guys can sort things out