A friend confided in me
His wife earns 100k while he earns 83k because of loans monthly
Now he is trying to raise money for accommodation
He has saved 150k and needs extra 100k
Challenge :
He has to pay school fees for his daugther and balance money oweing for furniture for the house from his feb and march salary
He didn't ask his wife for support but she seem to be quiet about his predicament and leave him to sort himself and raise money by himself for the rent
Thou she uses her money to buy things for her daugther sometimes
His expectations:
he expects her to have put heads with him and if possible opt to save from her salary to augument the the remaining balance or save up something to support(20k monthly for 3months)
Married women in the house is that the general attitude of some in marriage not to plan side by side with their husband
Or is it the psyche of a woman to expect her husband to pay the rent, pay for kid's fees and all as against planning with him?

Truth be told you need the support of your wives to succeeded financially That's the reason why God called them helpers .
any woman who does not spend from her own income to support the husband in meeting needs at home is not a wife material.
they talk about gender equality
girl child education... etc
only for them to get married to be useless to their husbands offering only sex on the table while the man pays for accommodation, children school fees, electricity bills, etc.

You no know women character with money before?

Husband money is our money, wife money is only her own money

Lol

well if the arrangement and agreement is not in place from the on set of the marriage then she in a good position to not plan with him,
as some men tends to want to carry all the whole responsibility from the on set... when you get married i believe you have got to have clear values and decision because if you gyes divorce she as every right to demand what she wants.

some men actually have d aim to carry out Al responsibilities ,that why even when they encounter financial challenges, they find it difficult to open up or ask for help from their wives. But then,every good wife that really cares about her husband must always try to find out where and when to assist him, she mustn't wait until he asks for help, thats why both of them are "help meet",responsibilities at home shouldn't be carried by one person, be it house rent, school fees etc

100% right... That's my idea of marriage. If a woman is not supportive she is as good as useless

.

I don't know what kind of arrangement they have going on but marriage is supposed to be a partnership, it's not even necessarily about splitting every responsibility evenly down to the tee, it's about helping out/filling in where the other is lacking, it's not a competition, it's a partnership. The wife volunteering to help should've been a no brainer, after all his money is going towards taking care of her too. He needs to voice his expectations too or it may not occur to her and he'll just be suffering in silence. I don't understand these types of relationships

IAMSASHY:
some men actually have d aim to carry out Al responsibilities ,that why even when they encounter financial challenges, they find it difficult to open up or ask for help from their wives. But then,every good wife that really cares about her husband must always try to find out where and when to assist him, she mustn't wait until he asks for help, thats why both of them are "help meet",responsibilities at home shouldn't be carried by one person, be it house rent, school fees etc

Comments like this gives me hope we have good women

ibkayee:
I don't know what kind of arrangement they have going on but marriage is supposed to be a partnership, it's not even necessarily about splitting every responsibility evenly down to the tee, it's about helping out/filling in where the other is lacking, it's not a competition, it's a partnership. The wife volunteering to help should've been a no brainer, after all his money is going towards taking care of her too. He needs to voice his expectations too or it may not occur to her and he'll just be suffering in silence. I don't understand these types of relationships

Couldn't have said it better

sehin79:
well if the arrangement and agreement is not in place from the on set of the marriage then she in a good position to not plan with him,
as some men tends to want to carry all the whole responsibility from the on set... when you get married i believe you have got to have clear values and decision because if you gyes divorce she as every right to demand what she wants.

The disposition of a woman goes a long way in determining if the way will be open to arrangements.
A woman that deliberately shields details of her income, A man tends not to talk in that direction

we both have a joint account , savings percentage has been agreed every month a standing instructions has been given towards that, and we are doing great things with two head as one together, with 83k you aren't there yet, you need every support for now, BUT you won't get any support if she suspects you're cheating

we both have a joint account , savings percentage has been agreed every month a standing instructions has been given towards that, and we are doing great things with two head as one together, with 83k you aren't there yet, you need every support for now, BUT you won't get any support if she suspects you're cheating or you be shayo master you are OYO

failure to plan in marriage is one of the downfall of that particular family

seniormallam:
we both have a joint account , savings percentage has been agreed every month a standing instructions has been given towards that, and we are doing great things with two head as one together, with 83k you aren't there yet, you need every support for now, BUT you won't get any support if she suspects you're cheating or you be shayo master you are OYO

That's it
Two heads as one

Dammyjeez:
For any marriage equation to be balanced, there are several check boxes that must be ticked while you are still dating. You both should be ECONOMICALLY VULNERABLE to each other. This box apparently, you didn't check before getting married. You people will have to sit down and talk about it extensively and design a way forward as soon as possible... Cos truth is if you are not vulnerable to each other, you did best be described as just baby makers and not a couple! Cheers

Very true

There's a problem with communication in their marriage. The woman should've known the problems in the house and the limitations in her husband's income. May be the man is the proud type who doesn't like to ask or accept help and the lady would be like mek i keep kwayet oya sort yourself out naa.

Or she's just a very selfish woman.

CaptainJeffry:
There's a problem with communication in their marriage. The woman should've known the problems in the house and the limitations in her husband's income. Mahim
e the man is the proud type who doesn't like to ask or accept help and the lady would be like mek i keep kwayet oya sort yourself out naa.

Or she's just a very selfish woman.

The case here is she is selfish
But I sense lack of love also
You can't love a man and not naturally want to put heads with him
Like someone said above its about filling in