Okay here’s the deal!

She dated this guy for 3 years but they broke up a long time ago. Somehow, they moved on because they thought breaking up was the right thing to do as at the time.

But now, 4years later, they found that that their break-up was a pure manipulation by a mutual friend, whose sole aim was to keep them both apart. It worked because they both walked out of the relationship without looking back. But now they had a chance to talk and have managed to discover that the break-up was unnecessary and totally uncalled for.

They were very much in love and wouldn’t mind trying again. The problem is he has a GF, who he wants to marry. But if not for the interference, he would probably be married to my friend now with kids now. She is engaged to someone too, but she wouldn’t mind leaving him to get back with the guy. But they both feel guilty about the guy’s present GF who is crazily in love with the guy.

My friend thinks she should just let him go so he wouldn’t hurt his GF, but on the other hand she doesn’t want to let him go again and ruin what could very well be a wonderful life together!!!

What should she do

they need prayers

so cos of some old flames that they wanna rekindle, they want to sadden the new peeps in their lives

tell them tkb is calling them ewu!!!!

^^^ lol!

4 years is a long time and love just don't get rekindled like that.
The risk is def no worth it. A different case entirely if they are both still single.
What if it doesn't work out the second time? She looses everything then what next?

jay bee:

4 years is a long time and love just don't get rekindled like that.
The risk is def no worth it. A different case entirely if they are both still single.
What if it doesn't work out the second time? She looses everything then what next?

Yea 4 years is really a long time and as always you do have a point!

But what if they both marry their present BF/GF and still not be able to get over the connection they feel for each other now! Wont it be disastrous

Ujujoan:

Yea 4 years is really a long time and as always you do have a point!

But what if they both marry their present BF/GF and still not be able to get over the connection they feel for each other now! Wont it be disastrous

That simply doesn't hold water cos they easily managed to get over the connection for 4yrs.
The risks are just much greater if they start all over again.

Shooooo, tricky indeed, what to do, what to do?

Does one let "love" rule and hurt the current partner or listen to the mind          

Four years is not four months.
A lot of water would have passed under the bridge. Are they really sure they want to get back together at the expense of their partners?

jay bee:

That simply doesn't hold water cos they easily managed to get over the connection for 4yrs.
The risks are just much greater if they start all over again.

Oh well obviously they haven't because they are still sneaking around and doing the deed. Plus they feel the only reason they broke up then was because they were both lied to.

ehn ehn, dats a new twist. So they have both been cheating on their respective partners.
Have they just started the sneaking around or it was throughout the 4 yrs breakup?
Who is initiating the new found optimism?
If the dude initiated it then how sure is your friend that the dude isn't just saying that so he can keep getting the nookie?

This is a perfect example of where a girl ought to be following her head not her heart.

was the relationship even that strong when all it took was a lie from someone else to break them up. i have a feeling they'll both cheat on their respective spouses if they dod't marry eachother.

jay bee:

ehn ehn, dats a new twist. So they have both been cheating on their respective partners.
Have they just started the sneaking around or it was throughout the 4 yrs breakup?
Who is initiating the new found optimism?
If the dude initiated it then how sure is your friend that the dude isn't just saying that so he can keep getting the nookie?

This is a perfect example of where a girl ought to be following her head not her heart.

Er . . . he's already milking her for free, so why would he now want to dig himself into the "hole" that his fingers and toes are already doing adequate justice to   Doesn't make sense to moi Pray tell and fill me in biko

Ujujoan:

Okay here’s the deal!

She dated this guy for 3 years but they broke up a long time ago. Somehow, they moved on because they thought breaking up was the right thing to do as at the time.

But now, 4years later, they found that that their break-up was a pure manipulation by a mutual friend, whose sole aim was to keep them both apart. It worked because they both walked out of the relationship without looking back. But now they had a chance to talk and have managed to discover that the break-up was unnecessary and totally uncalled for.

They were very much in love and wouldn’t mind trying again. The problem is he has a GF, who he wants to marry. But if not for the interference, he would probably be married to my friend now with kids now. She is engaged to someone too, but she wouldn’t mind leaving him to get back with the guy. But they both feel guilty about the guy’s present GF who is crazily in love with the guy.

My friend thinks she should just let him go so he wouldn’t hurt his GF, but on the other hand she doesn’t want to let him go again and ruin what could very well be a wonderful life together!!!

What should she do

Whadido, whadido, whadido ?!!!


Hmmn, dejavu Well as an incurable romantic, I'd plunge in headfirst and go with the flow. I don't live life worrying about the world coming to an end today as it is already tomorrow in Australia

jay bee:

ehn ehn, dats a new twist. So they have both been cheating on their respective partners.
Have they just started the sneaking around or it was throughout the 4 yrs breakup?
Who is initiating the new found optimism?
If the dude initiated it then how sure is your friend that the dude isn't just saying that so he can keep getting the nookie?

This is a perfect example of where a girl ought to be following her head not her heart.

Oh well they didnt plan the whole cheating thing. It was a one time thing that just kept happeneing over and over again! They tot it was just se.,x. Actually, it was just se, x because they both knew they were in r/ships, but they got talking one day and just decided to air their greviances. And it was like . .  'you slept with the guy, no you toasted my best friend, no you lied about your cousin, no you told me it was over . .  bla bla bla'. Infact the break up is another story of its own, one of those things you see only on AFMAG.

She's following her head that's why she's asking questions. Left to the guy, they would have damned the consequences and gotten back together!

Busy_body:



Whadido, whadido, whadido ?!!!


Hmmn, dejavu Well as an incurable romantic, I'd plunge in headfirst and go with the flow. I don't live life worrying about the world coming to an end today as it is already tomorrow in Australia

lol!

Okay, seriously, wat did you do

Emperoh:

Its a double edged sword!!!
A lot of permutations and 'what ifs'. . . . regardless, what should be measured is the amount of love and feeling they have for each other

Again, i am tempted to ask, what if this reunion was after they had gotten married?
Will they seek divorce to remarry?
I am also tempted to say, ; a bird in hand is worth two in the bush'.
But we also say that what u don't know won't kill you.

I think they should bid the friendship good bye and stick to the guys in their lives.
They can still achieve things for themselves with whomever they are with. Life is full of uncertainties.

Imagine also the girl in the guys life will fight your friend and see her as an enemy.
Let her also put the girl in her shoes.
They should call it quits and focus on rebuilding their lives. . . . . .importantly, there is soo much our physical eye can't see.
Let them go to God in prayer for direction!!!

That's exactly what she is doing here. Not that I support that!

Emperoh:

Its a double edged sword!!!
A lot of permutations and 'what ifs'. . . . regardless, what should be measured is the amount of love and feeling they have for each other

Again, i am tempted to ask, what if this reunion was after they had gotten married?
Will they seek divorce to remarry?

!!!

I know the answer, my pikin could also fill you in Here goes ~ They would keep on cheating on their respective spouses with each other, until one of the spouse finds out. And then that person would never recover from the ultimate betrayal of knowing that their rival has been in their spouse's life before them and still continued to have s stronghold on them to date




https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-421085.32.html#msg5911289
Emperor, if you need a full time teacher, holla @ your girl, you could do with one seriously , I wouldn't charge you the customary $9,000 per hour rate as per you be my long-suffering hubby

Busy_body:


I know the answer, my pikin could also fill you in Here goes ~ They would keep on cheating on their respective spouses with each other, until one of the spouse finds out. And then that person would never recover from the ultimate betrayal of knowing that their rival has been in their spouse's life before them and still continued to have s stronghold on them to date

True talk! Personally, I know all about exes and strong holds so if it were me, I'd damn the consequences.

But then again I wonder why she's still confused. I mean technically, she knows what she feels seeing as she's sneaking around with him already. Why is she worried about some girl who probably wouldn't give a damn about her if the tables were turned

I hope that doesnt make me inconsiderate

Ujujoan:

lol!

Okay, seriously, wat did you do

He was ready to damn the consequences too but some adults intervened and told us to leave things to God, that whatever would be would be Initially it was hard staying away but what needs to be done, needs to be done. He still wanted to come back even after i had my first offspring, and would if i let him now.


One of them even got back with her first love after 30 years apart and with eight children in between them, and they went on to have one more child, who is now 24 years old. They are now in their 60's.

His Mum hated her so he married the one the Mum chose, had 4 children with her, yet his mind never left this lady. She too got married and had 4 kids, yet was never happy. They spent every waking moment thinking about each other, wondering what would have been . . .


Though if anyone had told me, i'd eventually fall out of love with him and fall this much in love with my current beau, I'd have told the person to go get their head checked out . . . so i guess Emperor is right to deem this a double-edged sword. There i was thinking I would never love, nor be loved by another again hence was caught unawares and swept off my feet without realising it by my current beau, as a matter of fact, it took me after 12 months to realise i was in love


Then as a typical woman who don't know what we want, I started fighting this strong urge and tried all within my means to push him away and unfall(sic) in love with him to no avail, the more I tried, the more i fell WHAT DO WOMEN WANT? I tire for women i swear

Lol, can you see clearly why one shouldn't place much stock in this enterprise called 'Love'?

Ujujoan,

The impression is increasingly growing on me that YOU are the chica in question . Does anyone seem to think so too?

Busy_body:


He was ready to damn the consequences too but some adults intervened and told us to leave things to God, that whatever would be would be Initially it was hard staying away but what needs to be done, needs to be done. He still wanted to come back even after i had my first offspring, and would if i let him now.


One of them even got back with her first love after 30 years apart and with eight children in between them, and they went on to have one more child, who is now 24 years old. They are now in their 60's.

His Mum hated her so he married the one the Mum chose, had 4 children with her, yet his mind never left this lady. She too got married and had 4 kids, yet was never happy. They spent every waking moment thinking about each other, wondering what would have been . . .


Though if anyone had told me, i'd eventually fall out of love with him and fall this much in love with my current beau, I'd have told the person to go get their head checked out . . . so i guess Emperor is right to deem this a double-edged sword. There i was thinking I would never love, nor be loved by another again hence was caught unawares and swept off my feet without realising it by my current beau, as a matter of fact, it took me after 12 months to realise i was in love


Then as a typical woman who don't know what we want, I started fighting this strong urge and tried all within my means to push him away and unfall(sic) in love with him to no avail, the more I tried, the more i fell WHAT DO WOMEN WANT? I tire for women i swear

Wow! Thats tough!

I guess life is a choice. If you make one and stick with it, things will just fall into place

Richfella:

Ujujoan,

The impression is increasingly growing on me that YOU are the chica in question . Does anyone seem to think so too?

Oh that's because you dont know me. Trust me hon, if it were me, I'd be telling the story of how the r/ship turned out by now. Me I go for what I want oh, I no dey for too much talk!

Well I tink since there happy wit whom they where wit b4 they met again they shuld forget abt old love nd liv on apart

Ujujoan:

Yea 4 years is really a long time and as always you do have a point!

But what if they both marry their present BF/GF and still not be able to get over the connection they feel for each other now! Wont it be disastrous

You sound as if you're the one experiencing this. Or are you the one?
@Topic,
The golden rule comes in.
If you're the GF to the guy and another old GF of his, comes in to take your BF away, will you be happy?
Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.

Emperoh:

Its a double edged sword!!!
. . . . . .importantly, there is soo much our physical eye can't see.
Let them go to God in prayer for direction!!!

my thought exactly,
wat if dey r ment 2geda nd were lucky 2 av a 2nd chance
wat if dey go in2 d relationship nd discover dat it was all physical, dey dnt av much in common again after 4yrs
wat if , a lot of 'wat if's

God is d only one dat knows best

Though if anyone had told me, i'd eventually fall out of love with him and fall this much in love with my current beau, I'd have told the person to go get their head checked out . . . so i guess Emperor is right to deem this a double-edged sword. There i was thinking I would never love, nor be loved by another again hence was caught unawares and swept off my feet without realising it by my current beau, as a matter of fact, it took me after 12 months to realise i was in love

@Busy_body
ur story is so romantic, ur beau must be really patient 2 wait 4 a whole year 4 u 2 realise u love him

Emperoh:

Uju

this is not an easy situation. . . . .feelings and emotions is what is at stake here.
But ultimately, pragmatism is what is needed to solve it. . . . .If u ask the people in question to carry on with their current dates,
i can bet you the se.x going on now will continue way into their different marriages. . . . to forstall this, maybe i should tilt towards your line of action!!

Because the consequences of their action now and later when they are married is to be weighed to know which is heavier!!
The Sexual and Physical activity should pls be set aside to see to make a better analysis of what they want.

But guess what?
I am very more likely to think they will get together.
Agwo g'eno agwo ibe ya k'o wee too!!!

Decode that?

Of cos, I'm a typical Igbo girl remember?

You know if my BF is still in love with his ex, I'll even help him get back with her!

To me its better he's with her than he stays with me out of pity!

Ujujoan:

Oh that's because you dont know me. Trust me hon, if it were me, I'd be telling the story of how the r/ship turned out by now. Me I go for what I want oh, I no dey for too much talk!  

OK Ma'am.

@ujujoan, I think you are the one involved not your friend. Having said that, let me add that the risk is not worth it. They should stay the way they are period.

dinachi:

@ujujoan, I think you are the one involved not your friend. Having said that, let me add that the risk is not worth it. They should stay the way they are period.

Oh well, you r free to think wat u want. Thanks for ur opinion dou!