*.When God said, 'Let There Be LIGHT!'
Chuck said, 'Say Please.'

*.The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once ...ONCE.

* Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

*Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

* The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

* On the 7th day, God rested ... Chuck Norris took over.

* Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

* Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'.

* Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

* Norris can divide by zero.

* A Japanese man can eat 17 hot dogs in 42 seconds ... Chuck Norris can eat 42 Japanese men in 17 seconds.

* In the Beggining there was nothing ... then Chuck Norris round-house kicked nothing and told it to get a job.

* In an interview for Times Chuck Norris was asked what he thought about all the Chuck Norris Jokes circulating around. He simply replied that they weren't jokes then went back to his daily routine of drinking a mug of nails.

* If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would win.

* If by some miracle 1 of Chuck Norris' round-house kicks missed you, the wind from behind the kick would disembowel you.

* Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

* Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

* If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, 'Two seconds till.' After you ask, 'Two seconds to what?'

* Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

dry...

* Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...

*Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.

*Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.

*When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

*Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone

*A cop once pulled Chuck Norris over...Luckily, the cop left only with a warning.

*

* When Chuck Norris enters into a courtroom, the judge stands up.

*Chuck Norris did 5 successful suicide bomb missions

*Chuck Norris can whistle in five different languages, including sign language.

*Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.

*The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.

*If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".

*Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

galadima77:
dry...

very very.

why chuck noris

* Chuck Norris cut's a knife with butter.

*Chuck Norris pours the milk first, then he pours the cereal.
Then he places the bowl.

*Chuck Norris can put out a fire using nothing but gasoline.

*Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.

*You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird

Am confused