ofegge73:
thank you all for your contributions, I have learnt the hard way.

Marriage is not childs play. U do not marry sm1 without knowing their best and their worst. Many people don't study their partners while dating they just get carried away with the euphoria or they see the hand writings on the wall bt assume it's normal.

Ur marriage had a faulty start and u are paying the price. U married a stranger indeed and her family has no values. Also never flaunt money just to win over a gal cos u will most likely regret the aftermath of such actions and flamboyance later. I've done such b4 and I wont repeat it. U might be creating a Beast. Balance is key. U can be nice and caring bt don't let money run the show like its the reason for ur being together even if u have it in excess.

If ur story is completely true ur wife has no manners, morals or rectitude. Follow the advices given earlier and move on

ofegge73:

Thanks, I certainly will.

OP, you are good person. With all the evidence you have get a good lawyer and find a lasting solution to this problem. I hate adulterous wife with passion cos I lost an elder brother recently to one(story for another day). Still wish I could turn back the hands of time. Get your family involve too don't fight alone.

hedonistic:
Another 'nice guy' bites the dust. You were dating a so-called Corper serving in Cross River State (who was of course fucking a couple of guys there) and she was visiting you in Lagos every weekend - for which you were paying for flight tickets EVERY WEEKEND (minus other standard mende mende expenses)? ? ? As who or as what? As per say you be Aliko Dangote's treasurer abi wetin? Why do you re.ta.rded nice guy fools spend so much money on worthless idiots? Well, whatever happened to you serves you right.

That said, I should reiterate the Gospel truth: love is a scam. Don't take any girl seriously. Don't think you should go out of your way to do anything or commit to her because you think you love her and vice versa. Don't ever get emotional. They're all mostly scammers. What's there to gain for you as a man? Nothing. Any bitch can give you sex. Any bitch can give you a child (verified by. DNA). But this whole relationship, commitment and marriage thing is too one-sided (in favour of females) and often has NO meaningful benefit to the man. It only comes with unnecessary pain and woes. If you see a pretty face, ass, hips, boobs or whatever else that tickles your lust, just Bleep it and move on. Catching feelings always leads to these kinds of miserable outcomes.

This guy is true to his moniker

Cold origin for you

THIS WHOLE THING DIDNT START IN A DAY,BUT MY ADVICE TO U IS TO SIT BACK AND RE-THINK WHERE U MISSED IT,AND CORRECT UR MISTAKE SO IT DOESNT HAPPEN AGAIN EVEN IF U RE-MARRY,THERE IS NO MARRIAGE IN HEAVEN UR HAPPINESS IS ALL THAT MATTERS,PLS DIVORCE HER PROPERLY AND MOVE ON WITH UR LIFE,AND LEAST UR KIDS NEED U MORE NOW THAN EVER,,,,,,,BE STRONG AND BE A MAN THAT U ARE....MAY GOD SEE U THRU....I AM ALSO A VICTIM OF SUCH BUT I AM STRONG EVEN IN THE HEAT.......IT IS WELL WITH U.

freecocoa:
You must be really selfish.

He is true to his moniker na

Hmmm. Maybe you are lacking in the bedroom dept. I can do anything not to lose a guy that wows me in bed. Money is secondary to me.

Acidosis:
Although you didn't mention this; I'm 200% sure your marriage is intertribal.

This is one of those prices you have to pay for refusing to listen to elders in the game because you f00lishly assumed the love you have for each other can overcome everything
It only works on rare occasions: (i) when the parties involved are extremely wealthy; (ii) when either or both parties involved are orphans; (iii) when either or both parties is/are ready to act and live as orphans.

Again, you didn't mention this, but I am 400% sure your parents/relative warned you and told you to watch, but well, you listened to pathetically blind deceivers who told you marriage is between you and your spouse only. You listened to those telling you you're a man, and since you're above 18, you can take all decisions by yourself. Well you took this, but the consequences, you've got to bare alone.

Before you marry any woman, you should be sure you know her father/mother's attitude. You should be sure you can cope with their ways of life. Even if you married an angel, it only takes an emotionally intelligent parent to frustrate your home. You see all these new generational lovers who claim to marry their spouses 2 weeks, 1 week, etc. after DMs? They're not to be followed as role models.

You met a lady and in few months, you told yourself "after all, some people got married two weeks after meeting on tu-wee-ta (twitter)" You don't know where those ones are headed, but still you choose to follow them. There are people who have been married for 20 - 30 years, but we always consider them as "old schools".

You allowed those awwnn and awww from pathetic romance freaks lure you to the pit. Now you're in, and they're everywhere again looking for another shocking tu-wee-ta wedding story to type those awwnn, awww, to decieve some new breeds.

U have well spoken and u will live to speak again

Firstly u need serious prayer and seek GOD forgiveness maybe u r paying for ur sins through are wayward life style....divorce is not an option for me because u will loose alot and ur kids will not be organize again...my recommendations
1...prayer
2... Counselling
3... Elders
4... Smartness
5... Prayer[color=#990000][/color]

vicardino:
How many women have you had encounters with? Sometimes, stories like this are good not for you to comment on but to learn from and take note of the red flags which the Op didn't take note. Don't be too emotional and logical when dealing with women

my brother no b quarrel .v been married of all most 13yrs now n am 45yrs.am a marriage counselor in my church.from my experience d issue of marriage is a two way tin.whether u r living abroad or here d trick to marriage is understanding ur spouse n knowing when to act.alot of women v emotional baggage.when u say u v met yr soul mate it deos nt mean dat person is perfect.it simply means he or she understands u.d same woman d op is complaining about now might meet another man n everything will work out for her.what I v seen in our culture is dat our men "order"their wives to obey dem.those types of things stop with our father.our women r more enlighten these days . understand yr wife n know when to enforce rules n when to soften.

Zirah:


Eff off and let's hear a word a minute!

shaarap dingbat. You thing of inconsequential value.

ofegge73:
these days her father is the one who calls me on behalf of the children, she doesn't call or answer, even when the children need medical attention. I have never seen a thing like this. But I always remind her, not to drag the kids into the fray.,as they are innocent of everything.

That's like telling your enemy not to use gun in a war cos you prefer fist fight. She will use them regardless of what you say; in fact telling her not to is like planting that same idea into her head. you should read the rational male by Rollo tomassi during this hard times, it will help you alot even due you won't agree with all that is written in it but the little you'll agree with will help you.

Acidosis:
Although you didn't mention this; I'm 200% sure your marriage is intertribal.

This is one of those prices you have to pay for refusing to listen to elders in the game because you f00lishly assumed the love you have for each other can overcome everything
It only works on rare occasions: (i) when the parties involved are extremely wealthy; (ii) when either or both parties involved are orphans; (iii) when either or both parties is/are ready to act and live as orphans.

Again, you didn't mention this, but I am 400% sure your parents/relative warned you and told you to watch, but well, you listened to pathetically blind deceivers who told you marriage is between you and your spouse only. You listened to those telling you you're a man, and since you're above 18, you can take all decisions by yourself. Well you took this, but the consequences, you've got to bare alone.

Before you marry any woman, you should be sure you know her father/mother's attitude. You should be sure you can cope with their ways of life. Even if you married an angel, it only takes an emotionally intelligent parent to frustrate your home. You see all these new generational lovers who claim to marry their spouses 2 weeks, 1 week, etc. after DMs? They're not to be followed as role models.

You met a lady and in few months, you told yourself "after all, some people got married two weeks after meeting on tu-wee-ta (twitter)" You don't know where those ones are headed, but still you choose to follow them. There are people who have been married for 20 - 30 years, but we always consider them as "old schools".

You allowed those awwnn and awww from pathetic romance freaks lure you to the pit. Now you're in, and they're everywhere again looking for another shocking tu-wee-ta wedding story to type those awwnn, awww, to decieve some new breeds.

So who should marry those people that you advice against

ofegge73:
Good evening Nairalanders, I have no idea how to go about making this as clear as possible, but truth is I married a stranger.
I met this Lady in 2012,we became friendly, and talked on consistently.
At the time she was on NYSC in Ikom cross River State. By the way she is from Obosi in Anambra state.
She was visiting me in Lagos every week, of course I paid for her flight tickets back and forth for all the times she visited till we got married and beyond. I have never let her use the bus or public transport to anywhere, it's either I drive her, she drives or a taxi.
A few months to her passing out, she told me she was pregnant, so I thought I would marry her and cut the drama short, but that was my undoing.
We got married, but all through, she spent more time with her parents and siblings.
Fast forward to 2016,my wife got a job through my sister in Abuja, and everything got worse, she wouldn't get back home till very late everyday.
Her explanation was that her boss delayed her.
I got to find out she was dating her boss later, even caught her at hotels in ikeja G. R,.A and on the island with her boss at very odd hours of the night.
Don't get me wrong, I am okay, I live in a 5 bedroom duplex in ikeja, the house is very comfortable and cosy, and almost completing my personal building at awoyaya in ibeju. i am not a poor man.
Well, she gave birth to my first child a boy, but insisted on C. S, then my daughter, through C. S too. All were elective!
She wouldn't come back home,and spent more time at her parents than in our home, always saying she needs herMum to watch the kids,while she is out, we got maids, but she was so violent with them, they all left.
Fast forward to 2017,i asked my wife to come back home, she refused, well I told her the marriage wouldn't work anymore,as she wasnt living with me for the past two years.
She immediately went and petitioned me at office of the Public defender in Lagos State citing domestic violence, irresponsibility as to my kids and stuff, I have always provided food, toiletries, medicals,as well as pay my children's school fees till this minute. But she teamed up with her Mum and brother to make up so many fabrications because they demanded I pay a stipend to them every month, and I said no, I won't do that, your daughter, my wife is in your house cos she wants to be there, not because I sent her away or anything like that.Her father is the only person who is sane, but the man is a pensioner and can't help himself much, so she treats him with intimidation She reported me to the police and all agencies you can think of, well at last they conducted their investigations and found out she was telling lies.
I am no more interested in keeping her, and she has vowed that I can't divorce her or I die, but my kids are the issue now.
I need sound advice on how to go about this.
Please no mockery, I am in dire need of good advice. Thanks.

in d first place y allowing yr pregnant wife stay with her siblings nt dat u r nt in d country.their is difference between bf/ gf relationship n marriage.d first few years of marriage r meant for bonding n understanding each other more . reading thru op write up u can c he c d way he is stressing dat he is taking care of d family financially.what about d emotional side.marriage is nt all about giving yr wife money n satisfying her financially.what of her emotional needs.n mind u emotional needs dnt mean sex alone.there was a couple I counsel in my church.dey were working in different states.d marriage was almost collapsing.dey were always quarreling until one day I told d woman to come alone.u know what d lady said?she said she was missing affection n sex from her husband because dey work in different states.n most time she wants smbdy to talk to.she could nt express herself n slowly d anger n annoyance begins to build up.hence constant quarrel.if these couple just sat down n really talk sincerely to each other,dis problem will just go naturally

kpele

Rexnegro:

Person no dey do mistake for Ur village , abi u perfect? Oga park one side if u no get any tin sensible to say shut de Bleep up ....

u re a very gigantic stupid fool...

hw will u marry a stranger nd say it was a mistake

ofegge73:
Good evening Nairalanders, I have no idea how to go about making this as clear as possible, but truth is I married a stranger.
I met this Lady in 2012,we became friendly, and talked on consistently.
At the time she was on NYSC in Ikom cross River State. By the way she is from Obosi in Anambra state.
She was visiting me in Lagos every week, of course I paid for her flight tickets back and forth for all the times she visited till we got married and beyond. I have never let her use the bus or public transport to anywhere, it's either I drive her, she drives or a taxi.
A few months to her passing out, she told me she was pregnant, so I thought I would marry her and cut the drama short, but that was my undoing.
We got married, but all through, she spent more time with her parents and siblings.
Fast forward to 2016,my wife got a job through my sister in Abuja, and everything got worse, she wouldn't get back home till very late everyday.
Her explanation was that her boss delayed her.
I got to find out she was dating her boss later, even caught her at hotels in ikeja G. R,.A and on the island with her boss at very odd hours of the night.
Don't get me wrong, I am okay, I live in a 5 bedroom duplex in ikeja, the house is very comfortable and cosy, and almost completing my personal building at awoyaya in ibeju. i am not a poor man.
Well, she gave birth to my first child a boy, but insisted on C. S, then my daughter, through C. S too. All were elective!
She wouldn't come back home,and spent more time at her parents than in our home, always saying she needs herMum to watch the kids,while she is out, we got maids, but she was so violent with them, they all left.
Fast forward to 2017,i asked my wife to come back home, she refused, well I told her the marriage wouldn't work anymore,as she wasnt living with me for the past two years.
She immediately went and petitioned me at office of the Public defender in Lagos State citing domestic violence, irresponsibility as to my kids and stuff, I have always provided food, toiletries, medicals,as well as pay my children's school fees till this minute. But she teamed up with her Mum and brother to make up so many fabrications because they demanded I pay a stipend to them every month, and I said no, I won't do that, your daughter, my wife is in your house cos she wants to be there, not because I sent her away or anything like that.Her father is the only person who is sane, but the man is a pensioner and can't help himself much, so she treats him with intimidation She reported me to the police and all agencies you can think of, well at last they conducted their investigations and found out she was telling lies.
I am no more interested in keeping her, and she has vowed that I can't divorce her or I die, but my kids are the issue now.
I need sound advice on how to go about this.
Please no mockery, I am in dire need of good advice. Thanks.

Fear Obosi women. Had similar experience in the past while still dating. God exposed her early enough for me to move on. Am ggrateful for my current wife now

Let's hear from both parties first, before we draw conclusions. Marriage is a serious institution and you should expect the unexpected. But nevertheless, you need to get a good lawyer who will interrogate both parties and know the next line of action.

my brother..first of all no man owns your life..u have the sole right to quit if its not working..my friend says what ever makes u happy pursue it we give u our blessings and if anytin is not making u happy then leave dontwait till its too late..life no get duplicate @ all..there is still more to life than women as for the kids..joint custody and make sure u get anoda from a baby mama..do like ronaldo biko

Dear, marriage is not a do or die affairs. As for me I will Solly advice you to seek for divorce before you go die for BP..she is more interested in her personal interest than the so called marriage.. This what lead to early grave or prison..men are especially the victims.. Where as women are the cause of the issue.. I will advice you to visit MUYIWA AFOLABI on raypower FM ..for more INFO

natasha:
Oga when u want advise be honest with the facts
- Yes u met her and u are wealthy
- you are a violent and possesive man....hence u ensured she spent every weekend at urs by providing flight tickets so she wont say theres no money 2 visit.
- you continued ur monitoring when she married u by tailgatting her every move.
- FYI there's nothing wrong with an elective CS. She won't be the 1st or last woman to opt for it.
- She LEFT despite the luxurious life u afforded her because PEACE of mind and her life is more precious than marriage to you thats attached with violent conditions.
-Just because you are no longer mareied doesnt diminished ur parental responsibilities.....You are still responsible for the upkeep of ur children wherever they may be....so her reporting you to agencies 2 remind and enforce ur responsibilities is correct.

But if u want a pity parry, then what you wrote up there is perfect, Sir Lancelot, Prince Charming and Knight in shinning armour

I like d way you think, this story is full of irrelevant facts (lies), I fully agree with you, he is likely the reason she ran away.

Op sounds immature as he points at what he did for her with his wealth at every "corner". I don't blame the wife.

luminouz:

So ur a good girl??
Oya PM me!!!

Hihi, I don't roll with aliens!

You don't need to divorce her man. Let her initiate the divorce if she wants to. Get your house ready, move in and get a gf or second wife you'll marry traditionally. Under no circumstance must you allow her into the house. Just keep her at bay and let her do whatever rubbish she's doing. Pay for the Children's school fees, buy them wears and buy provisions. Occasionally give them pocket money. Don't give her a dime. She will initiate the divorce proceedings herself. Make sure you keep a copy of all your police statements and hers. Get in touch with the CO or IPO of all the cases to get a copy of her statement. This na 9ja nothing comes free. Forget the useless woman and build your life afresh.

Confirm the children are yours, if they are then just prepare for the worst because i know non of you would want to forfeit them for the other. but if she is not then just get a good lawyer and make sure you gather enough evidence of her infidelity, she wont be getting a penny from you divorce settlement.

orangb:

Hihi, I don't roll with aliens!

Lmaoooo
I will treat u good..I promise!!!!

My spirit tells me you are a gentleman and most ungrateful women don't like gentle people.

The woman doesn't love you at all and that's why she is threatening you.

Seek divorce immediately and get the idiot out of life.

Many men are suffering from this too.

Take care bro.

Just pray for her, she will change.

Hmmm

luminouz:

Lmaoooo
I will treat u good..I promise!!!!

No, thanks.

ofegge73:
Good evening Nairalanders, I have no idea how to go about making this as clear as possible, but truth is I married a stranger.
I met this Lady in 2012,we became friendly, and talked on consistently.
At the time she was on NYSC in Ikom cross River State. By the way she is from Obosi in Anambra state.
She was visiting me in Lagos every week, of course I paid for her flight tickets back and forth for all the times she visited till we got married and beyond. I have never let her use the bus or public transport to anywhere, it's either I drive her, she drives or a taxi.
A few months to her passing out, she told me she was pregnant, so I thought I would marry her and cut the drama short, but that was my undoing.
We got married, but all through, she spent more time with her parents and siblings.
Fast forward to 2016,my wife got a job through my sister in Abuja, and everything got worse, she wouldn't get back home till very late everyday.
Her explanation was that her boss delayed her.
I got to find out she was dating her boss later, even caught her at hotels in ikeja G. R,.A and on the island with her boss at very odd hours of the night.
Don't get me wrong, I am okay, I live in a 5 bedroom duplex in ikeja, the house is very comfortable and cosy, and almost completing my personal building at awoyaya in ibeju. i am not a poor man.
Well, she gave birth to my first child a boy, but insisted on C. S, then my daughter, through C. S too. All were elective!
She wouldn't come back home,and spent more time at her parents than in our home, always saying she needs herMum to watch the kids,while she is out, we got maids, but she was so violent with them, they all left.
Fast forward to 2017,i asked my wife to come back home, she refused, well I told her the marriage wouldn't work anymore,as she wasnt living with me for the past two years.
She immediately went and petitioned me at office of the Public defender in Lagos State citing domestic violence, irresponsibility as to my kids and stuff, I have always provided food, toiletries, medicals,as well as pay my children's school fees till this minute. But she teamed up with her Mum and brother to make up so many fabrications because they demanded I pay a stipend to them every month, and I said no, I won't do that, your daughter, my wife is in your house cos she wants to be there, not because I sent her away or anything like that.Her father is the only person who is sane, but the man is a pensioner and can't help himself much, so she treats him with intimidation She reported me to the police and all agencies you can think of, well at last they conducted their investigations and found out she was telling lies.
I am no more interested in keeping her, and she has vowed that I can't divorce her or I die, but my kids are the issue now.
I need sound advice on how to go about this.
Please no mockery, I am in dire need of good advice. Thanks.

Can you now see the advantage of polygamy. If you have another wife by the side you won't have any problem on how to go about kids issue.


Marry another wife and let the problematic one go on her own simple.

donstan18:
Can you imagine , She said you can't divorce her or you die , She sees you as a weakling and obviously taking advantage of your gentility and tolerance , and it all started when she trapped and succeeded in marrying you with pregnancy.


I, Donstan will always be the right man to my woman and kids, but will never be a WEAK and POO TOLERATING type of man to her

Below is MY ADVICE.

Question and search yourself very well, If you'v truly searched your mind and self very well to confirm that you don't want her anymore in your life, kindly file a divorce and aswell let your family, her family, your lawyer, legal counsel, friends and the security forces know that she threatened your life.

A mutual agreement will be carried out at the court about your kids, if atall they are your kids, because there's high possibility and tendency of those kids not belonging to you.

Man up and flee from poo!

Agreed

this story is not true is just a make up story......[color=#006600][/color]

Read this thread below. You moved from artificial money control to outright No control, and many guys here have given you advice for violent physical control. You don’t need any violent physical control at this point in time for any damage control, all dating mistakes have been made and it’s time to unlearn all the conditioning and maybe invest some money in seduction books like “The game” by Neil Strauss, daygame mastery by Nick Krauser, badass buddha by Tom Torero, because your wife is playing serious mind games with you.

Detach your emotion from this whole madness, push your bad boy persona to the extreme without been violent. One of the biggest weapons you need in your arsenal right now is showing no reaction..I mean zero reaction. Women respect your actions and not your words and you can show alphaness in learning to be quiet and not reactive to her shenanigans.

Before your marriage attraction was not properly built due to the long distance relationship, and unfortunately money don’t build real attraction.

Been alpha and having true control is when your wife continuously believe you are the pillar of her life and the thought of not having you around makes her heart bleed. A woman stops respecting you the very day she stops looking up to you for moral, emotional, physical, spiritual and financial support.

https://www.nairaland.com/396243/how-maintain-control-woman