Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue - Romance - Nairaland
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| Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by Ayobamie123: 12:43pm On Feb 20, 2018 |
Hello nairalanders, I had to create a new account to post this. please I need your sincere advice on this issue. I am a 26year old lady, dropped out of school when things suddenly went south for my family. I accepted my fate and started doing every kinda odd jobs i could get to sustain the family. I have 3 siblings in higher institution that I struggle to pay their tuition and also provide for their needs. Because of my responsibilities, i couldnt afford luxuries compared to my friends but it didnt bother me one bit cos I believe a day will come when God will answer my prayers and I will finally have all I need. So the thing is, I met a guy last year. We met online. He is not based in Nigeria. Told him I dont like distant relationships most especially people staying abroad due to stories I've heard. After a while, I accepted his proposal and we started dating. However,I didnt tell him anything abt my financial condition neither did I ask him for anything. To cut it short, he returned to Nigeria and we met in person...it was great. He made me feel special and I thought finally, I have met the one for me. After I left his place, he stopped picking my calls, no calls from him either. The 7th day, he called and said that everything isnt about me cos there are several others who calls him. Also that he cant deal with my kind of person because 1. I use sheabutter (I use sheabutter and natural black soap cos of my dark skin). 2. my clothes are outdated and cheap. That if he was close, he would Burn my clothes and take me to a boutique even though it'll be at my own expense. That he doesnt like the kinda clothes I wear bla bla.(most of my clothes are okrika but i try to always look good in them. My hair is always neatly done and I try to smell nice at all times). 3. That if I must be with him, I have to upgrade and spend money on myself. I have been so down since then. Is it a crime to come out real to the man I thought loved me? Is it a crime to be contented with the little I have? People compliments my looks all the time but this guy made me look like trash. This was the same man who said he can marry a pepper seller as long as she is hardworking and committed. Its as if my self esteem has been brought down to zero. I love him but I love me more. Pls what's your take on this? NB. Pls I'm not trying to solicit funds or sympathy, I just need to share cos its eating me up. Cc Lalasticlala 1 Like |
| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by Tobiloba84: 12:47pm On Feb 20, 2018 |
Let him be.. This is what I feel, He has got a high taste even though he isn't ready to stand for it financially, everything He said about you could be fixed by him financially If it really mattered as he painted, he isnt accepting you for who you are and he is not ready to help out, you dont need such man that makes you look down on yourself, you are beautifully and fearfully made. In a nut shell, he loves you not and I can bet he will ask you to do more even when you achieve what he complained about. Meanwhile whats special about FTC.? 5 Likes |
| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by gmtanwa25(f): 12:49pm On Feb 20, 2018 |
My advice is just be yourself That's all. you are beautiful the way you are 4 Likes |
| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by donstan18: 12:50pm On Feb 20, 2018 |
This should be the least problem a harworking lady like you should be bothered about.  THREE TALKING POINTS 1: He didn't see the kind of physique and looks he needed from a woman : Permit me to be blunt, you and knows how and what most men wants and expect to see from a lady they'v been dating online, especially rich men staying abroad, don't misunderstand me, i'm not insinuating you aren't beautiful, you are beautiful and most importantly, hardworking, i'm only trying to decipher the possible reason why he did what he did, you know how online dating goes, we sometimes get disappointed with the kind of man or women we meet in real, it's normal. 2: Possibility of blessing being disguised as disappointment I noticed that women bothers and fear rejection alot. Well, it could be nature,I guess. But what single ladies fail to understand is that no matter how hardworking, beautiful, loyal, respectful and contented you are, there must be a temptation of living a classy and flirting life, you must be tempted by one way or the other to live a life of "Fvck for money to belong", it's normal, but what matters is how strong you are to overcome such temptation, how strong your are to continue your hustle and hardworking way, be the woman you are, focus on your struggle and objective on training your siblings, just be nice to people, the right man will come your way. What if he needed a high and classy runs girl just to flirt, hence prompting such behavior from him, what if he never wanted to settle down? , you should be happy he told you his mind rather than toying and wasting your time and life. Just be confident in yourself, don't allow any body shaming to get to your skin. 3: If I must be honest ma'am, judging from your story, you are a RARE GEM, most men won't and can't wait to have a woman like you, your hardwork and focus is really inspiring. I applaud you for that, soar higher 10 Likes |
| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by joshboo(m): 12:50pm On Feb 20, 2018 |
Umm, just be your loving,hardworking and selfless real self, trust me he'll regret his actions and by God's grace twud be too late for him then cos God wudda settled you on all fronts. Its so hard to find the really real nowadays,just kip up and be happy for you, even if you did that and more to make him happy he would still find faults with other things. Be easy,,, peace. |
| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by tobaseye: 12:58pm On Feb 20, 2018 |
So sorry to hear this. I think the issues is that he might not like what he eventually saw physically and that is one of the major problems in online dating. My advice to you is to pick up yourself and move on if he is not forthcoming and try and spend money on yourself. Get back to school, you can go for part-time. Add value to yourself. You can't be seeing ur siblings through school why you are out of school. I did the same thing for my siblings but while they were in full time I was doing parttime and also writing a professional exam. All is history today. You are a woman spend money on yourself. Good Luck. 1 Like |
| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by FluidQueen(f): 12:59pm On Feb 20, 2018 |
Firstly, He is A dumb, Ignorant douchebag. Shea butter is AMAZING for the skin(whichever skin color) and Americans Actually pay through their nose to get it from Africa. Go to Amazon and you'd find out reviews and how amazing Shea butter is. Secondly, You are better of without that egotistical, Imbecilic Psychopath. Move on dear, you'd find someone that'd appreciate you and your efforts.  2 Likes |
| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by Nobody: 1:03pm On Feb 20, 2018 |
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| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by Nobody: 1:05pm On Feb 20, 2018 |
| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by FluidQueen(f): 1:06pm On Feb 20, 2018 |
| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by Windflower(f): 1:09pm On Feb 20, 2018 |
He doesn't deserve you,if he can break up with you because u don't belong to his class then he should brush you up to his taste and he isn't even willing to do that. You are important, special, wonderful, classy,beautiful in and out,don't let anyone ruin your self confidence. That asides in as much as you love your siblings and want the best for them,you shouldn't neglect your needs also. I earn less than 100k and there are sometimes I couldn't even make my hair because of responsibilities at home,but now I make sure I spend on myself too cos I deserve it. In essence you have to balance the equation and develop yourself too,be it in business or academics,even professional qualifications. 1 Like |
| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by Nobody: 1:09pm On Feb 20, 2018 |
I consider myself a high value male, and like most men who might not know they want, we sure as hell know what we do not want. I understand how he felt; a girl you fancy not looking presentable is every guy's Catch 22. . .its a big dilemma. But he went about it the wrong way tho, there are subtle ways of intimating you on that without making you feel like trash. But o girl you sef try posh up a bit nah, start by cutting out that shea butter stuff, and work on yourself - i doubt in this modern age you would agree to date a guy who goes about wearing okrika. 2 Likes |
| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by Nobody: 1:10pm On Feb 20, 2018 |
| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by ayobarmy(m): 2:05pm On Feb 20, 2018 |
Hi Namesake..... I think you should as a matter of urgency erase that jocker of a guy from your mind for now... I can't imaging a real/serious man rejecting a lady as real as urself, because if he his really serious, he will go to any lent in brushing you up to his taste... Just continue being yourself, Our heavenly Father will send your man to you soonest... If to say I still dey free, I swear I for marry u..... Goodluck |
| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by VenomousTruth: 2:16pm On Feb 20, 2018 |
some men can think and act foolishly.. ladies hear me out here, not all that cometh forth from a man's lips means truth. he may tell you he hasn't met an hardworking lady like you or he's so sure that THIS is his bus stop while deep in that dirty mind of his recites thus "if only you knew I am saying all these because of your Toto". young lady, as long as on your first meeting with him, he didn't see your pant talk more of smelling it talk more of shifting it, then I'd say, put that buffoon aside and move on, derive your joy, hope and happiness from your siblings in school, think of where you'd be in the next 5years. believe me, you will smile at last, I'm sure you'd remember these hard times in the future and just laugh over it and shake your head... it will get better,its a promise. 1 Like |
| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by tosyne2much(m): 2:19pm On Feb 20, 2018 |
I don't think you need to consult an herbalist to tell you that you've not found a husband What happened clearly means you are below his expectations and this is something is usually associated with most online dating. I believe you have learnt something from this experience so kindly move on with your life and stop getting worked up over that indecisive man Ladies sef, I don't even know why some ladies will rather give their attention to someone they can't see than someone they can see around them |
| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by FluidQueen(f): 6:30pm On Feb 20, 2018 |
efesodje: |
| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by Nobody: 8:00pm On Feb 20, 2018 |
Wow reading that made me sad. Unfortunately, he was disappointed when he met you. That’s just the truth. He had expectations in his head and you didn’t meet them hence why he stopped picking your calls. At this point, if he’s not attracted to you, it’s going to cause problems. Honestly, I suggest you just move on. You’re in your prime, and someone will love and appreciate you for who you are. Try to always look presentable to help with your self esteem and don’t wallow in self pity. Do your hair, paint your nails, be clean andyou’ll feel better trust me. No matter how beautiful you are, someone will always find you unattractive so don’t feel bad at ALL about him. Believe in yourself and don’t allow this situation to measure your self worth. You’re a queen and should be treated as one. 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by memories1(f): 8:03pm On Feb 20, 2018 |
Op, move on, he's not for you. Being contented with what you have is a great VIRTUE, don't lose it! You'll meet yours, who'd see the good in you... cheer up. |
| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by tee59(f): 8:09pm On Feb 20, 2018 |
The wise men and women have spoken d truth. |
| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by wristbangle: 8:34pm On Feb 20, 2018 |
Its not your fault that your current predicament leaves you in a position not to dress extravagant. I don't why you are sweating over his premature words which doesn't defines you. Probably because I am speaking from a logical view. Continue the hustling girl. One day your story would change. |
| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by PrincessNazor(f): 8:40pm On Feb 20, 2018 |
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| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by Nobody: 8:53pm On Feb 20, 2018 |
Well it’s obvious he wants a slay queen. I almost want to thank you for being yourself. It’s not easy especially in these times where a lot of people are portraying fake lives. You obviously feel like shît and no girl however strong would leave this type of situation with her esteem still intact. What I’ll tell you is don’t indulge in self pity, don’t allow yourself to sink that low. Don’t allow yourself to be affected by the words of a vain, empty man who doesn’t know the right things to look out for in a woman. You know who you are and what you’re worth, you’re a fûcking strong woman who has remained sane and strong even with all the responsibilities on your shoulder. You know what girls your age are doing, but you have decided to do things the right albeit hard way, and that’s very commendable . This should not bring you down at all, just shrug your shoulders and say “whatever” and move on. A real man with brain and common sense would come along and fall hard for the good woman that you are. Girl, you just dodged a bullet! 1 Like |
| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by KingsCare: 12:55am On Feb 21, 2018 |
Ayobamie123: |
| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by KingsCare: 12:56am On Feb 21, 2018 |
Ayobamie123:Be Yourself Always and Be Happy Always....Bleep Him.....You are a diamond...Trust me...please never ever let anyone break your spirit or talk you down...be proud of yourself  |
| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by InfernoNig: 1:43am On Feb 21, 2018 |
Let no one tell you anything less. Youve come this far on your own why listen to one low self esteem nigga who doesn't know.his left from his right. My dear just focus more on yourself. The right person will come. N i just hope you haven't not allowed the ingrate to taste your apple pie!!! Peace |
| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by Nixiepie(f): 1:55am On Feb 21, 2018 |
his lost" that's y I no dey waste my time with online dating.. stay strong dear.. |
| Re: Pls I Need Your Opinion On This Issue by nairaland20: 9:17am On Feb 21, 2018 |
lalasticlala , mynd44 , seun ,dominique
Please help this hardworking lady |
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