I’m sure you’ve heard the saying:

For every hot girl out there, there’s some guy that’s sick of fucking her.

This Article Is For The Really Shy

Many times you talk to a girl and she rejects you, we'll most times she isn't rejecting you if you did everything right, she was not just comfortable at that moment, maybe she just had a long day at work or class and she is dead tired and rushing home! You don't expect to get a good reply in such cases 9/10 times!

Most guys feel a little nervous around the girls they like, but they’re able to take a deep breath, push through it, and become comfortable with them over time. That’s not who this post is for.

This post is for the guys who feel really anxious, scared and inhibited around girls. If you get a strong physical feeling of anxiety when you think of talking to a girl you like, or you feel a powerful, paralyzing hesitation when you want to approach or ask out a girl, then this post is for you.


I’ve found the cause of most shyness is a feeling of inferiority. If you feel you are somehow “less valuable” than the girl, then you will feel shy and nervous around her.

Let me illustrate this with an example.

Imagine a fat or unattractive girl who you know. Do you feel any anxiety or nervousness around her? No, probably not. And if you do, it will still be far less than around the girl you are attracted to.

Think about the way you talk to girls who you aren’t really attracted to. Are you more relaxed and casual around them? Do you talk to them the same way you would talk to a guy friend? Meanwhile around a girl you find attractive your mind suddenly goes blank and you can’t think of what to say.

Why does this happen? Why are you only shy around certain girls? This happens when you place so much value on looks that a good looking girl becomes intimidating.

The solution is, of course, to stop placing so much value on looks. Treat an attractive girl in the same casual, natural way you would treat a guy friend or unattractive girl. Sure, you may be attracted more to a good looking girl, but physical looks alone shouldn’t be enough to immediately make you intimidated and won over.

It’s better to have an attitude of “what else do you offer?” Does the girl have something other than her looks going for her? There are plenty of cute girls in the world, but it’s rare to find a girl you can have fun with and one that has a personality that “clicks” with yours.

Do not put the girl on a pedestal before you even know her. Treat her as an equal human being, not a goddess. That’s why so many women give guys the advice to “be yourself.” They don’t like it when a guy is trying hard to impress them and get them to like him. Especially when they haven’t done anything to deserve his attention yet except looking pretty.

Realize that how someone looks does not dictate how valuable they are. Being good looking is more about luck in getting the right genes than anything else. Would you think that a lottery winner was superior to you?


Being Hard On Yourself and Insecure

Remember the first key lesson: The less valuable you think you are compared to someone, the more shy you will feel around them. Inferiority makes you feel not entitled to be confident and express your personality.

Ask yourself: “How do I make myself feel inferior than other people?”

One big problem you may have to overcome is your own thoughts. Many shy people have a constant stream of thoughts that point out what a loser they are.

If you constantly think about why you’re a loser, how you aren’t good looking, how you have some physical flaw that needs to be fixed, how you’re a loner with little or no friends, how you’ve never even kissed a girl, etc … then you are just sabotaging yourself.

By being too hard on yourself and being insecure about your appearance you are constantly reinforcing the idea in your mind that you are inferior to the girl. This makes it IMPOSSIBLE for you to be confident around her, because you think she is more valuable.

And if you are lacking confidence and can’t even talk to her normally, then you have no chance of attracting her and forming a relationship.

Confidence and personality are more attractive than physical appearance to most girls. Your looks don’t matter nearly as much as you think they do. If you don’t believe me, then look around. All the good looking girls are around the confident, popular, charismatic guys. On the other hand, many of the good looking guys who are shy are stuck alone or with a girl they’re not really attracted to. Looks matter much more to guys than girls.

So the most important thing is to cut out any thoughts that sabotage your confidence or make you inhibited. This means to notice when you are having self-defeating thought patterns and stop them in their tracks.

Any thought that makes you think you are less valuable will only sabotage your progress in becoming less shy around girls. Notice when they occur, challenge them with the ideas you’ve learned so far, and instead try to focus on your good qualities that you are proud of. Remind yourself that girls aren’t really after the best-looking guy, but one who can be confident and talk to them without being intimidated by their superficial qualities.

If you talk to a girl and she doesn’t like you, then don’t start thinking of ways to make her like you. There are literally billions of girls out there, just try a different one.


THE BEST AND EASIEST WAY TO WOO A GIRL

Don’t Hesitate!! !

Being assertive is like a muscle. The more you do it, the less effort it takes.

When you try to go for the kiss with a girl for the first time, or you want to walk up and talk to a girl, you will probably hesitate a little.

You’ll stop yourself.

Then when you try to do it in a couple minutes again, your “mental barrier” to acting becomes higher. It becomes even more difficult to “just do it.”

And the longer you think about whether you should make your move or not, the more anxiety you feel. It’s just like when you think of a girl for months and it becomes impossible to talk to her. You’ve built it up in your mind so much that you’ve become a victim of paralysis by analysis.

Instead, you need to act more upon that first impulse. That first impulse is your best shot at actually doing it. All the thinking that happens later only serves to talk you out of acting on that impulse.

So that's it, whenever you see a girl you like, you have just 2 seconds. To approach her! Walk over to her.


THE PICK UP LINE TO USE

A very easy and effective pick up fine from my bro "slayer"

Walk to the girl and say

"excuse me dear" she gives you her attention, if she is older than you and you are younger don't expect a greeting from her, so you say "good am or pm" if she is younger and you older and it's obvious, when you say "excuse me dear" to get her attention and you walk to her, she will definitely greet you after you guys exchange pleasantries, you smile and say

"do you mind if I get a minute of it your time dear? "she will say sure then you proceed " i saw you walk by and I couldn't stop admiring the way you cat walk! I think cats should learn from you because you are the real cat walker" you smile, if she as a great sense of humor, she will laugh or smile, then you proceed with "i would really love it for you to be my friend, I feel this sort of emotional connection towards you and I think we would make a great pair together" she might smile or say "wow really?" you proceed with " my name is (whatever your name is) what about you or should I call you my angel? " she will respond with her name while she laughs or smiles. You then add "i think I should call you Google, because you have everything I’m looking for" she might smile or laugh then you add "well I really don't blame Adam in the Bible for eating the Apple eve gave him because if I was Adam and you eve right now I would eat over a thousand forbidden apples from you" she might reply with "ahh you are not serious joor" while laugh or she will simply smile then you ask her for her number while smiling with "alright lets continue our conversation some other time, I have to get going now" while smiling.. . She gives you her number then immediately she wants to turn and leave you add this, "one more thing dear, Can you touch me? I want to tell my friends I was touched by an Angel." while smiling, she will laugh and do it.


That's it.

And what's this epistle for??

like I'm gonna read all that

Fellas if u like a gal, tell her if she turns u down nicely then perhaps you can try again, if she acts like a jerk then you can rape her

MhizAJ:
And what's this epistle for??

It was clearly not written for you please do use the exit out of this thread to avoid embarrassing your self by displaying your silliness to the whole of nigeria.

Baba NLA for the girls, na you biko

cuteguy123:


It was clearing not written for you please do use the exit out of this thread to avoid embarrassing your self by displaying your silliness to the whole of nigeria.

Hahahahahahaha, your savagery is ruthless

SIaye:



Hahahahahahaha, your savagery is ruthless

Some Annoying people on here need that.

Lol. Do the above and be friendzoned.

Use money to entice her... She will give you fvck in 1 week

Nice one op. Very helpful for introverted and shy guy like me.


Cuteguy wy is it only one line? Add other scope, in othe to know the one that will suit the specs of the gel.

bro u gud mehh

Just give a girl.your ATM and password.... She will be yours

Oga O.P em... i am always attracted to girls a lil bit older than me, and if i see a lady i like, am afraid that she might turn me down, due to age differences abeg what do u tink i should do?

MhizAJ:
And what's this epistle for??

Was your account hacked or what? Your Arrogance on every thread these days tho

cuteguy123:


It was clearly not written for you please do use the exit out of this thread to avoid embarrassing your self by displaying your silliness to the whole of nigeria.

Forget jhor. I don't mind displaying if money is involved o.

...but op make sense small sha. am impressed. 2/10

Guys use that rubbish pick up line and get shunned. Op is obviously still a learner

CAPSLOCKED:



IN 2018..
PEOPLE ARE LOOKING FOR TIPS TO MAKE MONEY AND UP THEIR GAME..

YOUR BROTHER UP THERE IS GIVING TIPS ON HOW TO WOO GIRLS.

WE LOOK LIKE A BUNCH OF JSS2 BOYS IN THIS PLACE ABI.

Different strokes for different folks. The sole reason nairaland has different sections to satisfy its users differently according to their choices.


Which means the OP has done nothing wrong. This is romance section bro, what did you expect? "How to win bet9ja tips"?

dfriendlyadvice:
like I'm gonna read all that

Fellas if u like a gal, tell her if she turns u down nicely then perhaps you can try again, if she acts like a jerk then you can rape her

ahh nairaland is filled with wicked somebodies oooo

dondemex:
Guys use that rubbish pick up line and get shunned. Op is obviously still a learner

dont diss without sharing what you think works. thats being rude

calex9496:
Oga O.P em... i am always attracted to girls a lil bit older than me, and if i see a lady i like, am afraid that she might turn me down, due to age differences abeg what do u tink i should do?

If you act matured, she won't turn you down, just try to find out if she is engaged or married before you approach her, if she is single and you act like a man around her she will be impressed, make her feel lively and she will give you attention.

Women pretend alot, she they die for you but she fit squeeze her face like say she Nor they reason you or anything self, all you have to do is make the move, to make things easier if you see her first you can just let her notice you without going for the kill so next time when you see her you can easily talk to her as the familiarity between you and her would have already been established that's if you know you will see her again

When you see her just look at her, smile and say "wow I love your dress, it looks really good on you, do you sow your clothes by yourself? I'm asking because everything looks really good on you!" she will laugh or smile or say thank you. You can then tell her "you are welcome if she says Thank you, then you tell her see you around" next time you see her go flatter her and collect her number.

Remember to dress good and wear good perf.

Deckline:
...but op make sense small sha. am impressed. 2/10

Lol boss that means something hardly impresses you.

dondemex:
Guys use that rubbish pick up line and get shunned. Op is obviously still a learner

Not really

Save that drama abeg!!Tell her i wan't you to be my assumed wife..if she no gree...sory her PAPA...haha

Lalasticlala
Mynd44

This is front page worthy lets help the shy guys make a move so we will be seeing less "help I'm 24 and can't approach a lady" threads. Happy sunday yall cheers.

mikejj:
Save that drama abeg!!Tell her i wan't you to be my assumed wife..if she no gree...sory her PAPA...haha

Don't be ignorant.

Henryfocoyo:
bro u gud mehh

Thanks boss we they push the ministry they go small small

sarafa68:
Nice one op. Very helpful for introverted and shy guy like me.


Cuteguy wy is it only one line? Add other scope, in othe to know the one that will suit the specs of the gel.

Lol I will try but if you practice with What I wrote up there ehn you will start having your own ideas when you start talking to babes the receptions you will get using that line will make you feel so lively you become free and before you know, alpha male. so use that one first.

DivinelyBlessed:
Use money to entice her... She will give you fvck in 1 week

When you stop giving her money she Wil Bleep who she is emotionally attracted to. Simple as ABC, she will be with you for your money and collect as much as she wants then spoil her side bf who can touch her emotional side, so the choice is yours keep deceiving yourself and before I forget; you only get slay Queens with no brains using money but you can't for Classy chick they don't need your money, now tell me how best can you get a chick like otedola daughter or the daughter of another wealthy man? By displaying money to her abi? Good luck.