.

MhizzAJ:
For all i care i can't get married to someone that i'm not physically attracted to so everyone isn't a potential spouse to me and marriage isn't a do or die affair

I don't need a man to make me complete

for most women, it dawn on them when it's too late. you do need a man mhiz

eghuan1:




Funny you brought this up. I was driving some days ago and some policemen stopped me somewhere and where asking how's madam. I didn't know how to answer the question. So one if them looks at me and says, e be like Oga never marry o. And his colleagues were like, which kind joke be that? Then one said to me, Oga Wetin you de wait for? I replied say I de find better person and he laughed for sometime.
He came to my side and said you no go go village go find one small girl give belle? Oga no look all these Lagos girls o. Na Wetin I do o.
When I left them, I set up a project, just like those pastors that saw thunder and thought God is speaking to them, "project one year". Get a better accommodation, arrange my life and set a trap, anyone who falls into the trap, drag her to mumsy.

Project to be delivered latest July next year.

Lol! Nairaland ladies biko make una show o..

you're right.

if you see as i dey select now eh, you go think say na job application.

chronique:


I said more than this when I was much younger. I remember saying latest by 27,I'd be married. 27 has come and gone a long time and still yet,no show. Better be serious with your relationship now cos when you get to our age,you'd just be seeing so much faults and commas in women and to settle down would be hard.

True words bro. At a time I concluded I would just have a baby mama and move on to enjoy my life not until Nairaland gave me this wonderful soul.
Compliments me in all areas.

Now I know people will say I am being too religious about this but I tried this method and it worked for me

I Prayed and asked God for a perfect Woman in my life.

And Nairaland was the last place I could ever imagine to find such person but now I'm like wow that means most of these NL girls forming feminist are actually nice people in real life.

biacan:
I tell you Chief that's one the things that I'm scared of after watching my friends marriage crumble before my own eyes.....but for the fact that I'm still young doesn't mean I should just jump at any man all in the name of marriage...... sometimes I ask my mom why can't a lady live her life in peace without getting married.... she took me the priest in our church for deliverance

That thought may seem like a good idea to you right now. Stories abound of women who had similar view of their life early on, but the music changed later. But only time will tell if you will find it a good idea after all. Only time will tell.

Its not just about "societal pressure".

The best you can do now is read other people's stories and reflect on them. And also try to get perspective from the other side. I mean the male side.

And don't you think for one moment that your mom never had such thoughts as you're having now. Unless you believe she was "never" a girl, nor young woman.

Personally I'd like us to discuss more on this. Remember what I said about getting a different perspective. I'd like to learn about yours.

Cutehector:
marriage certificate please

He does not owe you evidence. He has just made a point, a clarion call sort of. Thanks. However, the hole I notice in his write up is that there is no place of divine intervention. Do not say I am going spiritual. As a matter of fact, Human can not do without divine intervention.
Whenever I see post on marriage, I notice people discuss it from their point of view or world view but most often, it does always go that way
Some people get married easily, without any fuss. They may not even want it at the time they got married and not its fruitful while some might be going from one seer to another. Such is life, such is marriage like a friend will say everyone with his time zone.
Less I forget, the write said something about taking the bull by the horn and marry whoever that comes your way, and damn the consequence, Plz don't try it, it will be distratrous.

Bianda24:

He does not owe you evidence. He has just made a point, a clarion call sort of. Thanks. However, the hole I notice in his write up is that there is no place of divine intervention. Do not say I am going spiritual. As a matter of fact, Human can not do without divine intervention.
Whenever I see post on marriage, I notice people discuss it from their point of view or world view but most often, it does always go that way
Some people get married easily, without any fuss. They may not even want it at the time they got married and not its fruitful while some might be going from one seer to another. Such is life, such is marriage like a friend will say everyone with his time zone.
Less I forget, the write said something about taking the bull by the horn and marry whoever that comes your way, and damn the consequence, Plz don't try it, it will be distratrous.

well for my own point of view and it actually worked for me was when I finally decided to go spiritual after several years of thinking like you do. It might not work for everyone but God does truly answers prayers.

And I agree with you on this not taking the bull by the horn. You marry anyone that just comes to your way, at your own peril. Verbalise,visialise and actualised it

Toks2008:



I Will write more as at when due. Remain blessed my lady.

Please don't! Find something more productive to do with your time.

There is more to life than marriage. No thanks to Nigerians and their unhealthy obsession with marriage, I have such hatred in my heart for the so-called institution called marriage.

I am not going into it and there is nothing dumb Nigerians can do about it because I don't live in your country to begin with and don't hang around Nigerians in real life so nobody can tell me rubbish or shame me into anything I genuinely don't want for myself.

dasparrow:


Please don't! Find something more productive to do with your time.

There is more to life than marriage. No thanks to Nigerians and their unhealthy obsession with marriage,[s] I have such hatred in my heart for the so-called institution called marriage[/s].

I am not going into it and there is nothing dumb Nigerians can do about it because I don't live in your country to begin with and don't hang around Nigerians in real life so nobody can tell me rubbish or shame me into anything I genuinely don't want for myself.

give it time bro.
You would wish you never wrote this.

dasparrow:


Please don't! Find something more productive to do with your time.

There is more to life than marriage. No thanks to Nigerians and their unhealthy obsession with marriage, I have such hatred in my heart for the so-called institution called marriage.

I am not going into it and there is nothing dumb Nigerians can do about it because I don't live in your country to begin with and don't hang around Nigerians in real life so nobody can tell me rubbish or shame me into anything I genuinely don't want for myself.

I see your type everyday in their old age living a solitary life...your choice man...

Bianda24:

He does not owe you evidence. He has just made a point, a clarion call sort of. Thanks. However, the hole I notice in his write up is that there is no place of divine intervention. Do not say I am going spiritual. As a matter of fact, Human can not do without divine intervention.
Whenever I see post on marriage, I notice people discuss it from their point of view or world view but most often, it does always go that way
Some people get married easily, without any fuss. They may not even want it at the time they got married and not its fruitful while some might be going from one seer to another. Such is life, such is marriage like a friend will say everyone with his time zone.
Less I forget, the write said something about taking the bull by the horn and marry whoever that comes your way, and damn the consequence, Plz don't try it, it will be distratrous.

Did you read that part where I mentioned doing a background check on the person?..its called due diligence which is a good alternative to baseless courtship.

Secondly I strongly believe the issue of going spiritual can not be overlooked but often times it is shrewd in hypocrisy...

How come we ask GOD for a particular choice rather than just allow GOD give us his choice?

Can you marry a crippled deaf and dumb?
What if God's choice for you is a popular love peddler?

Let's face it bro...who so finds a wife finds a good thing and contains God's favour so just pray to GOD to lead you to a good lady and as a lady,pray that GOD should let a good man finds you.

omojesu202:


for most women, it dawn on them when it's too late. you do need a man mhiz

She needs God not man. A Nigerian man will cheat on her sooner or later, infect her with sexually transmitted diseases, turn her into a glorified house maid and raise her blood pressure.

Most married Nigerian women are miserable and look much older than their age while nursing several sexually transmitted diseases given to them by their philandering husbands but they have sadly been mentally conditioned to believe that their lives can only start and end with a man.

That is a lie from the pit of hell rooted in patriarchy and chauvinism. Around the world, you have people living life to the fullest, happily too irrespective of their marital status.

Lastly, a lot of Nigerian women though married end up alone anyways down the line because the husbands die young. The average life expectancy rate in Nigeria is 53 years old maybe even lower no thanks to fulani herdsman killings, incessant car accidents, cultism, boko haram attacks, poor healthcare system and what have you. So these widowed women are left with a useless "Mrs" title, many mouths to feed and stark poverty staring them in the face along with in-laws that will hate them and want nothing more to do with them.

Oritzy:
True words bro. At a time I concluded I would just have a baby mama and move on to enjoy my life not until Nairaland gave me this wonderful soul.
Compliments me in all areas.

Now I know people will say I am being too religious about this but I tried this method and it worked for me

I Prayed and asked God for a perfect Woman in my life.

And Nairaland was the last place I could ever imagine to find such person but now I'm like wow that means most of these NL girls forming feminist are actually nice people in real life.

Did you marry a nairalander?

pocohantas:


So men have finally agreed that they could be under pressure?
There is hope for we evening newspapers then.

Y'all will marry us last last

the pressure from society is on both genders. Just that women have the extra pressure from biological clock

blakky97:
best analysis so far and a perfect description of my life right now. I'm at the early 30s stage. its hard to get married for real at this because now i am looking for a specific kind of person

vraiment!

Toks2008:


Did you marry a nairalander?

Not yet,but very close to it.

well at my age, i don be baby daddy...girls don live with me and i know what i want... Mehn na my baby mama i de go for, her material sure for me.

dasparrow:


She needs God not man. A Nigerian man will cheat on her sooner or later, infect her with sexually transmitted diseases, turn her into a glorified house maid and raise her blood pressure.

Most married Nigerian women are miserable and look much older than their age while nursing several sexually transmitted diseases given to them by their philandering husbands but they have sadly been mentally conditioned to believe that their lives can only start and end with a man.

That is a lie from the pit of hell rooted in patriarchy and chauvinism. Around the world, you have people living life to the fullest, happily too irrespective of their marital status.

Lastly, a lot of Nigerian women though married end up alone anyways down the line because the husbands die young. The average life expectancy rate in Nigeria is 53 years old maybe even lower no thanks to fulani herdsman killings, incessant car accidents, cultism, boko haram attacks, poor healthcare system and what have you. So these widowed women are left with a useless "Mrs" title, many mouths to feed and stark poverty staring them in the face along with in-laws that will hate them and want nothing more to do with them.

And how is the foreign lady immuned against all these? Or is it not what I see everyday? Abeg stop making unfounded assumptions.

Oritzy:


Not yet,but very close to it.

Wow! There are few nairalanders I admire and won't mind marrying but we live thousands of miles apart .one lives in Cameroun and another in the states and one particular one lives in naija.

I wish both of you well.

Pussickpunk:
Lord knows, I ain't getting married...I'll just get me a baby mama dassall

Please if you're going to be a baby daddy, ensure you're rich! Don't go and be a baby daddy and be living in one or two room apartment in Oshodi or Agege. The baby daddy thing is working for Davido, Wizkid, even extremely wealthy US celebrities like Nelly because they are rich.

These guys are rich enough to buy themselves any kind of friendship, any kind of girlfriend, so technically speaking, they can never be lonely at any point of their lives, the loneliness that comes with being single will be completely eliminated since money is involved.

If you turn out to be a poor baby daddy, even your own baby will avoid you like a plaque and probably lay curses on you. Family is the only thing that will stick with you like a glue through thick and thin, not your baby mama or girlfriend.

Beyond sex (which you can buy anyways), marriage tends to fill that gap (of loneliness) and lack of genuine friendship.

I'm of the opinion that everyone should make their choices, good choices, but let's be guided please. Being a baby daddy is not a license to freedom, it can become more complicated, when you're not properly guided.

Toks2008:


Wow! There are few nairalanders I admire and won't mind marrying but we live thousands of miles apart .one lives in Cameroun and another in the states and one particular one lives in naija.

You can as well talk to them if distance ain't gonna be a challenge for you both.

Oritzy:
You can as well talk to them if distance ain't gonna be a challenge for you both.

I know it's a challenge so I don't have to bother any of them.

monex:


the pressure from society is on both genders. Just that women have the extra pressure from biological clock

Okay, so when are you all going to marry us?
We are in this together, let's epp ourselves

Oritzy:
True words bro. At a time I concluded I would just have a baby mama and move on to enjoy my life not until Nairaland gave me this wonderful soul.
Compliments me in all areas.

Now I know people will say I am being too religious about this but I tried this method and it worked for me

I Prayed and asked God for a perfect Woman in my life.

And Nairaland was the last place I could ever imagine to find such person but now I'm like wow that means most of these NL girls forming feminist are actually nice people in real life.

The average woman is a very emotional and subjective being. The feminism rants you see are an emotional response to stimulus (their experiences or those they have heard about men oppressing women). Meanwhile, she could have a nice, warm selfless personality.

monex:


The average woman is a very emotional and subjective being. The feminism rants you see are an emotional response to stimulus (their experiences or those they have heard about men oppressing women). Meanwhile, she could have a nice, warm selfless personality.

gbam!!! You said it all

Toks2008:


I know it's a challenge so I don't have to bother any of them.

JUST GIVE IT TIME BRO THINGS WILL FALL INTO PLACE.
MAINWHILE I THINK i think you should check pocohantas out

greiboy:
in Nigeria that I grew up in

@Early


20s boy/men

Most can hardly get a girlfriend, most are broke with the exception of those from wealthy family, majority are in university. A huge number opt for the self service option.

Ladies
Most don't want to date their mates, most have high standards and believe they will end up with very rich prince charming. The majority of them hold great expectations for their futures

@Mid to late 20s

Men

Most are just getting laid now . Some are finding financial freedom. Majority are just having first relationships and first set of assets to call their own

Women

Most have now suffered countless heart breaks. Some are lucky to be married and won't stop flaunting their marriage status at the founts of the majority unmarried ones. Society and parents will begin to apply pressure on most to settle down. Some might start regretting actions they took in the their early 20s

Early 30s

Men

A huge number are now financially stable. Some might have settled down by now. Majority are feeling the pressure to settle down. Some are still reeling from heart breaks and feel they can't trust women again. Some have become playboys because of the relationship opportunities their new found financial status have afforded them.

Women
Some have become desperate to settle down as a consequence of societal pressures. Some have grown thick skin and have decided not to settle down again. Majority is now married but not all the married ones are glad.

Wetin you de drink? Waiter abeg give this nigger a bottle of champaign on me

Lool you are a smallie, it wasn't me that sent a PM that's an imposter. I don't think you should reply him.

biacan:
Chief Noooo mba you're not getting any younger look for a nice lady and get married..... me that I'll be clocking 22 this year I'm already starting to get worried
How is work.....?




#SUGARDADDY

Guyman you want to corner all the girls codedly, don't allow me make a thread about you, just park well

DonPikko:
check your pm

Renegadd:
30 to 40 is good age to get married and have kids for a guy. for female , 20 to 30.
Leonardo DiCaprio is 43 and not married, Lionel Richie got married and had his first child at 45 . he's 70 now and his child is 25 .Donald Trump's son is 12 years old and Donald trump had him at 58. Michael Jackson had his first child at 40. Quincy Jones had a his first child at 40. He's 85 now and his son is 45
I like these examples. i observe that having children later may play a role in longevity . I see 40 year old grandmas and they look like 60 years old . having children earlier makes a person age quicker. psychology and biology dictates that a human is suppose to stay alive to protect and nurture their offspring.
when you have a child at a young age, you age quicker . when you retire early ,you also age quicker . those are my observations and i'm writing an article on it .

You are damn right..! See as Donald trump be acting like as if he's 40years. Feeling pressure is a relativistic factor..On my side. I'm quite scared of getting married because of my visions and plan. I have a blueprint I wouldn't want marriage to disrupt

MhizzAJ:
For all i care i can't get married to someone that i'm not physically attracted to so everyone isn't a potential spouse to me and marriage isn't a do or die affair

I don't need a man to make me complete

yeah, in ur 30s, ur mind set will change when in ur 50s, believe me