coolestofall:

Y take it personal na, except ur cooking style is one of d styles on d list.

KOPT33:


A slap or two has magical reset abilities. Infact, you are overdue for a resounding one. Seems too much western education has eroded all the common sense you had.

Imagine advocating cold blooded murder as payback for a loving and correcting face rub. You are mad.

OriakuAmara:
I love cooking.
It's fun.

Ishilove:

It's not cold blooded murder when dealing with a psychopath, which you clearly are.

Go and flex that muscle with someone your own size. Coward. I pray you marry someone like me who will make you agree Jesus is Lord by the time I'm done dealing with you.

Ishilove:

The whole article was supposed to be a joke, but then calling women 'village witches', 'poverty stricken and kitchen '_imbeciles' crossed the line and entered into the zone of sexism

He was clearly joking

Ishilove:

He has even edited his comment. Pathetic, misogynistic and Rudderless imbeside

KOPT33:


I have no further words for you. It is obvious I have been exchanging words with a vacuous feminazi who is coddled in the wealth of her husband and has thus lost a grip on reality.

When a man genuinely complains about a woman, he is said to be flexing muscles, he is branded a coward, an abuser; when a woman as much as whimpers, she is seen as a fighter, a survivor, an escapee from abuse. Lol. Stupid beings.

A woman who can't cook will surely be divorced and humiliated. Humiliation is the only language you people understand.

KOPT33:
My elder and married sister is the worst cook to walk the face of the earth. I say this with all the sadness my heart can muster.

I went to the market today, bought 3 kg live chicken, the freshest tomatoes, spices, vegetables and stuff for stew, soups, and salad.

Since she began living in my apartment with her kids she's shown me brief snippets of what she can do but I thought that was because she didn't have enough ingredients to cook with, but I digress.

So I handed over the items to her and went out to drink with my buddies. I also gave her N5k just so that everything can be soft on account of today being Easter.

Imagine my anger, sadness, and grief when I came back, bathed and was served the worst stew in the history of the world.

1- The tomatoes in the stew was charred - not burnt, charred.
2- She put crayfish in the chicken stew and basically killed all the chicken flavor
3-The rice was parboiled till it was rubbery
4- The rice was salted so badly that it's taste and flavor dominated that of the stew
5- The salads were an apology.
6 - maggi cubes were used indiscriminately for taste making lending a sharp industrialized tang to the food

Imagine how hurtful it is when you spend ten thousand naira on a meal and yet you cannot eat it. I was mad.

If the woman I marry cook that kind of trash for me, I will slap her and pour it on her, sequel to me asking her to leave my house.

My sister is a horrible cook who is making my life hard at the moment. She has also taught me the importance of marrying somebody who can cook.

I feel so pained because she is still going to be with me for another 6 months. I just can't wait. Her food is the stuff hell is made of.

izzou:


He was clearly joking

KOPT33:


Yes, I did edit.

I edited not because my comment was lacking in depth, but because of how easy it was for you psycho bitch to turn the tables.

Ishilove:

It wasn't funny

You didn't have to insult him back.

Read it up again

It was just a joke. .

generaliy:
1. Aquatic spirits: These ones will make an ocean out of any meal, one cup of rice is to 25 litre of water, literally, they don't make Eba, they do "swimming cassava flakes".

2. Dead Sea: They have a covenant with salt, no living thing can survive if dropped in their pot of soup, Dangote salt recognises them yearly, they make the market boom.

3. Loud sounding cymbals: All noise and no substance, you can perceive the aroma of their foods from the Nigerian-Cameroon border, but that's where it ends, the taste will spoil your day and ruin your appetite.

4. Mixed culture: They are professional mixologists, they'll combine ancient Egyptian spices with local spices from the Nok culture, then garnish with ginger, garlic, tumeric, and all sorts of funny tasting blends, we should call them science students!

5. Silencers : These type can survive in any Nigerian private university hostel, Covenant, Babcock, Crawford, etc. Guess why? You never perceive anything, their meals are aroma non-compliant.

6. Kitchen imbeciles: May you never be unfortunate enough to meet one, their mama never allowed them in the kitchen once, they just stare confusingly, they can add okro to noodles, no kidding.

7. Credit thrift and loans: They're mostly from the south south, their meals leaves your account balance weeping uncontrollably, they can never manage, all sorts of animals must attend every pot session, with such ladies, you'll be "having the form of wealthiness but deny the power thereof!"

8. Village witches: Poverty is sunk deeply in their system, they are high performers with meals below 500 naira, they make local meals well, locust bean is their destiny partner, bitter leaf is always on the menu!

9. Cacophony of confusion: Just pity your unborn kids even if you're considering them for other purposes, they can add the oddest food combos, yam and rice, jollof rice and pettered beans, 24 vegetable varieties in one pot, lets not go on.

10. Wife materials(1,523,456 yards, quality Korean fabrics). They are high performers under any situation, they can make meals with 100 naira as well as 20,000 naira, food so perfect you think Angels supply their recipes, if you see one, cleave to her, even if she's the bone of your flesh!

Caveat: Advise taken at readers' risk, the writer is NOT liable for any inconveniences that may arise as a result of applying this piece, thank you.

lefulefu:
The day i ate my friend's girlfriend beans i almost regretted my life. The beans seed that was half done go one side... Red oil oil looking like the redsea also pack goin one side. And when u taste the beans na so d salt content for d beans just dey tingle ur teeth.its like she pour two sacks of dangote's iodized salt inside the beans. Chai! Wen i taste two spoons of the endtime beans na so i tell my guy dat i am ok...make i no go get running stomach. Guys with girlfriends or wives dat don't know how to cook..biko teach dem how to cook make dem no fall una hands..its important.

izzou:


You didn't have to insult him back.

Read it up again

It was just a joke. .

ReinaFarine:


Mr. Panel of Judges for all your females relations, since you're so particular about the texture of parboiled rice, exact milligram of seasoning to be used, and etcetera.

Will it be an abomination of the highest proportion for you to learn how to cook and take over the cooking for your poor future wife to avoid her receiving slaps, burns and a disgraceful divorce?

Is there a hormone in a woman responsible for teaching her how to cook? We are all learning. The fact that your sister in law is a terrible cook by your judgement doesn't mean she doesn't have other very admirable qualities your brother considers a priority in choosing a spouse.

If you can't stand it, take over the cooking. It doesn't kill. But hurting your woman simply because the food she toiled and sweated to cook for you did not meet your obnoxious taste is the height of stupidity. If she can't do it, take over the meal preparation. Except the only reason you married her was for her cooking skills.

Teach her, let her cook with you the Master Master Chef and connoisseur of African and Intercontinental Dishes. Maybe she'll pick a trick or two.

It is similar to saying, ANY MAN THAT CANNOT GO TO THE BUSH AND HUNT A SIX MONTHS OLD ANTELOPE FOR ME OR A 2 WEEKS PREGNANT FEMALE DEER FROM THE EAST WILL BE BURNT TO COOK MY MEAL.

Ishilove:

I repeat, I didn't find it funny. There are some things that shouldn't be joke with

Peterosky:
.That you couldn't sense the humor on this thread simply show's that my generation are stupid, useless and dump ass nigga. Imagine the way you abused the Op for just a simple joke.

izzou:


Seems your account has been hacked

This isn't the Ishilove of two years ago, you know

Ishilove:

Nope, not hacked. The Ishilove you see now is a more sensible one than the one of two years ago

Hian

Ishilove:

Nope, not hacked. The Ishilove you see now is a more sensible one than the one of two years ago

OriakuAmara:
I love sucking.
It's fun.

Ishilove:

Nah, I'm not a psycho bitch but you are a poor excuse for a man. Stop looking at every women the same way through your twisted and tainted world view.

Coward. Na for woman body you dey show power

ReinaFarine:


Mr. Panel of Judges for all your females relations, since you're so particular about the texture of parboiled rice, exact milligram of seasoning to be used, and etcetera.

Will it be an abomination of the highest proportion for you to learn how to cook and take over the cooking for your poor future wife to avoid her receiving slaps, burns and a disgraceful divorce?

Is there a hormone in a woman responsible for teaching her how to cook? We are all learning. The fact that your sister in law is a terrible cook by your judgement doesn't mean she doesn't have other very admirable qualities your brother considers a priority in choosing a spouse.

If you can't stand it, take over the cooking. It doesn't kill. But hurting your woman simply because the food she toiled and sweated to cook for you did not meet your obnoxious taste is the height of stupidity. If she can't do it, take over the meal preparation. Except the only reason you married her was for her cooking skills.

Teach her, let her cook with you the Master Master Chef and connoisseur of African and Intercontinental Dishes. Maybe she'll pick a trick or two.

It is similar to saying, ANY MAN THAT CANNOT GO TO THE BUSH AND HUNT A SIX MONTHS OLD ANTELOPE FOR ME OR A 2 WEEKS PREGNANT FEMALE DEER FROM THE EAST WILL BE BURNT TO COOK MY MEAL.

BossLaifay:
Lol. So say my loved ones. I will repent.

izzou:


Hian

spyglaxx:
I taught my wife how to cook stew. Nobody cooks better than me. I have now discovered ordinary cooking can scatter marriages.

Ishilove:

izzou:

Ishilove:

Don't take stuffs here too serious.

I saw a different you tonight