1. To be a danfo conductor in Lagos, you should be blessed with the talent of how to scream as many bus stops in a single breathe.

2. During rush hours, windows are also an excellent alternative for entering Danfos and Molues.

3. Agberos (touts) at the different bus stops are very literate. Because they are always writing, using coloured makers, all day long, on the body of Danfos.

4. You observe that traffic rules does not apply to the following: the Police, the Army, Government convoy, EMPTY bullion vehicles, Danfos (especially one that has as a passenger an official of the police, army, Man’O’War, etc.).

5. You observe a small crowd, on the street, gathered around a TV set. You inch close to find out if you are missing an important English Premiership match. Lo and behold, it is Saheed Osupa, performing at a funeral event in Ogbomosho.

6. In traffic jams, motorists deliberately avoid making eye contacts with fellow motorists so as not to be asked a traffic favour.

7. Road signs indicating “One-Way” traffic doesn’t necessarily mean it should be taken seriously, especially if you are a danfo or Okada carrying a passenger that is a member f the armed forces.

8. Danfo drivers, their conductors and agberos communicate in a special language. In the language, Five Naira (N5) note is referred to as “Kala”, Ten Naira (N10) note is referred to as “Fiber”, Twenty Naira (N20) note is known as “Shandy”, Fifty Naira (N50) note is referred to as “Wazo”, Hundred Naira (N100) note is referred to as “Ten Fibre”.

9. There is always traffic hold up after its stops raining in Lagos.

10. While stuck in traffic, you get approached by a street peddler. He tries to sell to you a fake Rolex at the cost of N15, 000! Further haggling, especially when the traffic gets in motion, eventually earns you the same wristwatch at N650!

11. The standing position, as opposed to sitting, is the preferred position by Danfo conductors to conduct activities inside and outside their vehicles.

12. When you are about to board a danfo, you just find yourself hesitating after the offer by the danfo conductor for you to occupy the last remaining seat in the bus after seeing the faces inside the bus. This is known as “one chance”.

13. You get into a combat with a stranger over the right to sit in the front-seat, window-side position in a danfo.

14. When stuck in traffic, you observe how hawkers and peddlers try to interest you in all manner of household commodities, from the essential to the outrightly ridiculous. e.g. bootleg DVDs, expired Gala, livestock, pirated books on esoteric subjects, counterfeit designer wristwatches, fake iPhone 6, cooking pots, etc.

15. Teenagers emotionally blackmail motorists when they jump in front of stationary cars in traffic and embark on unsolicited windscreen leaning exercise. The victims of such blackmail typically part with some money especially when they realize that other motorists, pedestrians and the entire city are watching in anticipation of an act of charity from them to the kids.

16. After you eventually get to the end of a long and agonizing traffic gridlock, you discover that nothing caused it.

17. Daily, you keep getting fresh reasons to believe that mental instability is a primary condition required for individuals to be licensed as danfo drivers.

18. The most strategic places to display and sell commodities are (i.) few inches way from major roads (ii.) on top of pedestrian bridges (iii.) inside Molues (iv.) In traffic.

19. You flag down a taxi. You inform the driver of your intended destination within the city. He then slams you with a fare that is sufficient to transport you to Accra, Ghana.

20. You observe how Agberos extort Danfo drivers and their conductors all sort of levies. For instance, “owo booking (booking fee), owo chairman (chairman’s money), owo ero (passengers fee), owo olopa (police fee), owo Lastma (Lastma fee)”, ‘owo weekend” (weekend money), ‘owo environmental (money for environmental sanitation)’, ‘owo task force (task force money), ‘owo organizing ( what is that?!),’ ‘owo traffic,’, etc.



https://autojosh.com/20-things-you-observe-while-commuting-in-lagos/

Commercial bus drivers are masters of alternative routes

observe happy people always on party mode....
eko for show tuale

Correct

Lagos.. city of angry people

Nice

I used to think lagos was the home of agberoism until I went to the east. Those ones are even more rugged with their akpu filled biceps and abs. Its everywhere

Welcome to Lagos

Yoruba people and party be like Nigerian men and breasts sucking

Dat Lagos for u oooooo

These are so true.. I love my Lagos state jare.. Eko oni baje

Eko wenjele

Lagos is a slum very useless place

Lagos....home of agberoism

Point 16 is false. Saying "nothing caused a traffic jam" is wrong. You only thought nothing caused it because the cause has been cleared, making it possible for you to proceed in the first place. If the cause of a traffic jam wasn't cleared, then you'd still be stuck within it.

So, I don't know what you expect to see after a fallen trailer (for example) has been pulled away. Or are you saying the drivers at the front in a traffic jam all decided to park in the middle of the road just because they have nothing else to do with their time?

In summary, every traffic jam has a cause, but the cause, after its clearance, is usually not seen by drivers who were previously stuck within the jam.

That number six cracked me up.... I'm a victim... Isn't it annoying that I must turn a philanthropist when we are kuku in the traffic jam together

webincomeplus:
Point 16 is false. Saying "nothing caused a traffic jam" is wrong. You only thought nothing caused it because the cause has been cleared, making it possible for you to proceed in the first place. If the cause of a traffic jam wasn't cleared, then you'd still be stuck within it.

So, I don't know what you expect to see after a fallen trailer (for example) has been pulled away. Or are you saying the drivers at the front in a traffic jam all decided to park in the middle of the road just because they have nothing else to do with their time?

If you pass through oshodi oke everyday from gbagada, you will probably understand. On this same road, there is often no traffic jam on Tuesdays. It either a curse or a tradition

agbonkamen:
Yoruba people and party be like Nigerian men and breasts sucking

Breast sucking gives nutrients.. I feel so good after every 2hrs of breast sucking

dmltoyin:
If you pass through oshodi oke everyday from gbagada, you will probably understand

Understand that traffic jams in that area occur without any cause, right? No over-congestion of vehicles, no accidents, no rain-made potholes, no delays due to crossovers, and no other causes. Just that drivers decide to park or move at annoyingly slow speeds, right? Continue!

okerekeikpo:
Lagos is a slum very useless place

Show us your own city and let's see... bad belle ppl.

Traffic is not really a prob especially when browsing or streaming to mp3 songs while stuck

showafrica:


Breast sucking gives nutrients.. I feel so good after every 2hrs of breast sucking

badoooo

Typical of Lagos.

Owo security

Right on most points. I still wonder why the drivers & conductors pay the agberos. Especially at oshodi oke, I counted 6 the last time!. Owo kini?, not like they would help you out if police catch you for parking at the wrong spot.... It's probably organized extortion

agbonkamen:
Yoruba people and party be like Nigerian men and breasts sucking

so them dey suck your breasts well well

henrixx:
so them dey suck your breasts well well

No be my type of breasts Nigerian man dey find...... Na those ones wey dem do loyal dem dey like my own too stand firm

HitlerGaddafi:
I used to think lagos was the home of agberoism until I went to the east. Those ones are even more rugged with their akpu filled biceps and abs. Its everywhere

cunt head, you dont even know the agberos in the west are very useless even the sight of them can make one vomit

dirty looking things.