This Nairalanders wants your opinion on this....

My fiance and I live in different cities due to work. I have a high profile job and I earn very well. Infact, I'm at the top of my career but not yet at its peak. There's a lot of opportunities for me to climb higher. He earns well too but a lot less than I do.

After the wedding, he wants me to quit my job, move to the city where he lives to find another job there. Already, I started looking for jobs but there's been nothing big. Our wedding is in two months and I know that I do not want to leave my job, not now or in the next one or two years and since I do not want to lie about it, I told him the truth.

My question is isn't he the one who should make the move since I earn a lot more? Or does it make any good sense for me to just quit my job and move to his city because he is the man?

K

Useless feminists


I eagerly await for your divorce story

Biggest mistake ever if she ever does that. The husband should move instead since he has a low paying job, folks gotta have understanding about these things.

kudsweet:


My question is isn't he the one who should make the move since I earn a lot more? Or does it make any good sense for me to just quit my job and move to his city because he is the man?

@Embolden, that's why I'll continue to alarm and frown at any man who'll be unfortunate to marry a woman that earns higher than him, he'll loose his respect because money is the only thing that can buy the soul, sense and body of any woman. This Op would have obeyed her man if he earns more than her.

---

You think and feel because you earn higher, he the man should quit his job and move to your city?

Well, if your claimed job is your priority, kindly get out of the man's life for him to look for a woman who'll be respectful and loyal to heed to his advice and decision without minding who earns higher or not. No man will wants to marry a lady who'll be disrespectful when he start having financial issues.


But if you want the marriage aswell. Then strike a deal with him that you'll cater and financially take care of all the accommodation's expenditures and the wedding ceremony that will hold in two months time

Since you earn higher, do what people who earn higher than their partner normally do, financially pay and take care of everything, not being stubborn to heed to your husband to-be's decision.

I earn higher....No be for mouth.

CaptJeffry:
Biggest mistake ever if she ever does that. The husband should move instead since he has a low paying job, folks gotta have understanding about these things.

With a solemn heart, I tender my unreserved apology to all the bro's on nairaland unbehalf of this she'male

These are the kinds of questions that feminists (or like my bro calls them Nairaland Feminist E-Goats NFEG ) feed off of.

To the op: Weigh your choices

1. Do you want a peaceful marriage without issues-OPTION A
2. Do you want to focus on your career and in the process cause cracks in your marriage or possible future divorce-OPTION B

The key here is for you guys to make a compromise. Compromise can take many forms and to have a happy marriage, both parties have to be willing to compromise.

Compromising your job for marriage is only terrible if it is a one way sacrifice that you are unhappy about making.

Okay, the following conversation is playing in my head right now

She- It's my final decision.
He- Are you sure?
She- Yes, I will not quit my job.
He- My salary is enough for us.
She- It's not about earnings.
He- Listen, being a housewife and being a working professional are different things, and I want a housewife not a working professional.
She- Then what about those promises which you made while dating me that you will allow me to work even after our Marriage ?
He- Those were just to console you and it's your fault that you took them seriously.
She- Only to console me?
He- Yes. Why you are so much obsessed with your job?
She- Because my parents worked hard for me so that I can make my future of my own. They don't want me to be only a Housewife and neither do I want it that way.Promotions are on the way and better growth in near future. So I can't. Sorry.
He- So your salary is around 800k (in a sarcastic manner)?
She- Yes. So what?
He- And mine is 300k. So you feel we can’t survive on my salary?
She- What do you want to say?
He- There is no way in hell I will quit my job and become a house husband. That’s too much emasculation for me.
She- No thanks. I thought you love me so you want to marry me but I was wrong.
He- You know the fact, isn't it? I can easily get any girl.
She- Yeah I know. So go and get one. Bye.

Now He is dating someone else and She is happy with her job (promoted).

It's already a done deal

You have agreed to move

So deal with it

unless you are having second about the marriage of course.

swiz123:


With a solemn heart, I tender my unreserved apology to all the bro's on nairaland for this she'male

Average Naija man with useless pride. Nothing wrong in getting a bigger apartment close to his wife's state of residence to keep her job. He as well can look for a job in that vicinity. Advising a woman to quit a good job just because of marriage is stupidity. If she can't get a transfer to his state, the husband should leave his poor job and move. Simple.

Don't try it plz

swiz123:


With a solemn heart, I tender my unreserved apology to all the bro's on nairaland for this she'male

Lol.... transgendered... don't mind the weak guy with his fulish advise.....

My question is isn't he the one who should make the move since I earn a lot more? Or does it make any good sense for me to just quit my job and move to his city because he is the man?

This is where you got it wrong. He shouldn't move, just because you earn a lot more, neither should you move just because he is the man. You're sounding condescending already.

Moving should be dependent on the town you people wanna base in. Are there opportunities there? This is the most important question to me. I would never leave a very good job Lagos to go stay in some underdeveloped town. My reason would definitely not be because I earn a lot more. You both should have discussed this before getting to this point.

Go talk it out with him. Compromises can be reached, but don't leave your job...to be dependent on him.

So h want the man to quit his job so that u will be working....u want to put him in an inferior position by asking him to do that....it's better u guys think over this decision so that it won't affect Una marriage wey Una never do sef

kudsweet:
This Nairalanders wants your opinion on this....

My fiance and I live in different cities due to work. I have a high profile job and I earn very well. Infact, I'm at the top of my career but not yet at its peak. There's a lot of opportunities for me to climb higher. He earns well too but a lot less than I do.

After the wedding, he wants me to quit my job, move to the city where he lives to find another job there. Already, I started looking for jobs but there's been nothing big. Our wedding is in two months and I know that I do not want to leave my job, not now or in the next one or two years and since I do not want to lie about it, I told him the truth.

My question is isn't he the one who should make the move since I earn a lot more? Or does it make any good sense for me to just quit my job and move to his city because he is the man?

culled from Motherhood in style

There is a saying.......

'Love is blind....marriage will open ur eyes"..

When pple wanna get married, they think about the standard operating procedure...man and wife must be together...all because of regular sexx and affection and bla,bla....couple of years down the line they realise it's not just sex and affection that the marriage needs to stay alive.....

Pple like to give strange excuses like distance will lead to cheating...pple still cheat on their spouse despite they see everyday under same roof....

.both of them should do their careers....they should move into cheaper apartment since they will keep paying for the two...plan their lives, whoever doesn't have a job with security like civil service should start looking for another..then move when the job comes not before just because u wanna be under same roof, what kinda conventional marriage rule is that??.....
Work no dey outside oooo
Don't turn the load of two person to one person wahala oooo
Remember junior will still come and join the picture..

In summary ..sex is sweet, love is blind..marriage will open ur eyes

swiz123:


With a solemn heart, I tender my unreserved apology to all the bro's on nairaland unbehalf of this she'male

Mad man

It would not be a good idea for you to quit your job until you have secured another one

Arrogant woman, I spit on your type. you want the man to quit his job because you are what?

By 30, you will start disturbing pastors for any man.

I just hope the man dumps your sme**ing c**t.

But you knew about all these before you decided to get married to him.

It shouldn't be a problem, let the both of you decide what is best for you.

1StopRudeness:


There is a saying.......

'Love is blind....marriage will open ur eyes"..

When pple wanna get married, they think about the standard operating procedure...man and wife must be together...all because of regular sexx and affection and bla,bla....couple of years down the line they realise it's not just sex and affection that the marriage needs to stay alive.....

Pple like to give strange excuses like distance will lead to cheating...pple still cheat on their spouse despite they see everyday under same roof....

.both of them should do their careers....they should move into cheaper apartment since they will keep paying for the two...plan their lives, whoever doesn't have a job with security like civil service should start looking for another..then move when the job comes not before just because u wanna be under same roof, what kinda conventional marriage rule is that??.....
Work no dey outside oooo
Don't turn the load of two person to one person wahala oooo
Remember junior will still come and join the picture..

In summary ..sex is sweet, love is blind..marriage will open ur eyes

you are a genius

Never leave your high paying job because your husband is in another city. If you want a high paying job, there MUST be a time you and your husband or wifey have to live separately and become weekend couples.
Rather, start looking for transfer or swap to the city your husband is or the nearest city.
If you resign and miss your salary for straight 3 months, you will surely regret.
Salary dey come steady self man never balance
If your husband wants the best for you, he will never tell you to resign.

kudsweet:
My question is isn't he the one who should make the move since I earn a lot more? Or does it make any good sense for me to just quit my job and move to his city because he is the man?

Silly feminist.

If my Wife to be told me this, I will GLADLY end the marriage a day to the d-day.

I don't want to attack sha

Na wa o.
So u want make the man leave him state hmmmm