cancel the damn wedding
Stop wasting the innocent children life out of selfishness

I hate couples like this
i lost a very good friend to Sickle Cell mind you the guy is in his late 30s

that's the same mistake your brother is making

Aremolekunowo:
Please beg your brother and his fiancée not to try it, it happened to me two years ago, I fell in love with my girl I told her I was AS but she lied about her own that she was AA I later discovered after the marriage that she AS when she gave birth to a sickle cell boy. have bn spending a lot of money since then on different sickness and buying drugs every time.
Intact the love have disappeared from my heart have told her to go am not longer interested in the marriage cos I cant cope with another SS child ,my marriage may crash any moment from now. no matter the love when d crises of as comes love will vanish because u won't even have time for the so called love please no one should encourage AS vs AS marrige

hmm as much as your advice is well taken. i respect your courage to talk about truely what you faced. God bless you and strenghten you bro. Thank you very much

DopeAngel:
Serious Advice Needed Pls- How Can I Resolve This Impending Doom In My Family

Please nairalanders i kindly need your advice on this family issue. my elder bro met this girl sometime last two years after having too many disappointments in relationship. he said he wants to finally settle down that he is tired of waiting and disappointments.

Now the serious problem is both of them are genotype AS, but my brother does not care, he still wants to go ahead with the marriage. He is saying he has faith and hope in God that nothing will happen. even my parents are not helping matters, my parents are strong church elders and they are even saying my brother should pray that God can change things.

I am so pained with my parents stand on this issue knowing the severe consequence that follows. i was hoping they would outrightly dissolve the relationship but no they are hoping on God. What pains me the most is that the girl herself is a nurse, she knows better than everybody but yet she is not considering that.

Right now i hate the girl because she is coming to ruin the life of bro's unborn children

*****
He is quite stubborn now until he faces the dangers right in the face...
.
Just keep trying your best and leave the rest for God...

[quote author=juola post=67004014][/quote]

Me sef be AS...right now, if I meet a AS lady that I like and she likes me and don't mind this processes. I am good to go.

DopeAngel:
thank you fear. the thing is the girl herself is not ready to let him go. she still even calls him. her age factor is making her even more desperate. i dont care if the girl gets married or not. she should just leave my bro alone. i mean is that too hard for a lady to do? am so much pained. right now i have so much hatred towards the girl. right now i am thinking of giving her a very sound warning to stay away from my family or else she would never find peace. i would be very happy to be the black sheep that destroyed the relationship and save the lives of my bro's unborn kids. is it right?

talk to your brother
if he refuses then sack the girl yourself

save your brother's future kids
I lost a very good friend of mine to SS
still pained till now

ologun01:


Me sef be AS...right now, if I meet a AS lady that I like and she likes me and don't mind this processes. I am good to go.

you're just selfish

bong4:


Your concern is genuine. Call your brother and the lady and sit them and talk with them in love. They can still be friends outside marriage and be happy seeing the other person being happy in their homes. Tell them the consequences of their action. There are so many prayer points to pray for in marriage and prayer against sickled children has been answered even before marriage. Let pressure of age not force them into wrong marriage. It is not how far but how well.

thanks bro. i will keep on trying my best. even though he may not see where am coming from now. he is emotionally unstable. i think its a duty i owe to him regardless of how he feels. i will just keep on trying. thinking about involving some family friends to help me do more talking.

jookco:
It's 2018 Bro, at ten months pregnancy they have a technology that can test if the child will be ss and terminate the pregnancy and you try another time, you can have 4 good children out of five only one will test positive of ss and you can terminate it before the baby grow in the belly. Go google it bro and leave your brother alone. One things they will not escape having all AS Children.

You mean 10 weeks

1Sharon:


So much ignorance and naivety in this post . You really need to update ur knowledge cos sickle cell is not how it used to be and is not what you assume it is.

Ignoramus

I am still waiting?

IsaAbubakar:
you're just selfish

Is it your problem?

IsaAbubakar:
talk to your brother
if he refuses then sack the girl yourself

save your brother's future kids
I lost a very good friend of mine to SS
still pained till now

i thought about that. confronting the girl personally but i dont want it resulting to a family war like am against his success in life. i dont want to be the black sheep in the family because i cared too much

Kingson01:


i think is ur brother u need 2 talk nt d poor lady.

I did bro. i dont think he is in his right mind right now. he is desperate. what if he does not actually listen. what do you suggest i do. if the girl accepts to see my reason why i dont support their union, i think my brother will come back to his senses but the girl herself is not backing out. right now the girl is even having more influence on him than i actually do. the reason i think confronting the girl is the next best thing

Until they see the troubles of bringing an SS into this world... their head no go correct... just leave them alone and posterity will favor you cos you did the right thing by speaking out.

DopeAngel:
Serious Advice Needed Pls- How Can I Resolve This Impending Doom In My Family

Please nairalanders i kindly need your advice on this family issue. my elder bro met this girl sometime last two years after having too many disappointments in relationship. he said he wants to finally settle down that he is tired of waiting and disappointments.

Now the serious problem is both of them are genotype AS, but my brother does not care, he still wants to go ahead with the marriage. He is saying he has faith and hope in God that nothing will happen. even my parents are not helping matters, my parents are strong church elders and they are even saying my brother should pray that God can change things.

I am so pained with my parents stand on this issue knowing the severe consequence that follows. i was hoping they would outrightly dissolve the relationship but no they are hoping on God. What pains me the most is that the girl herself is a nurse, she knows better than everybody but yet she is not considering that.

Right now i hate the girl because she is coming to ruin the life of bro's unborn children

DopeAngel:
i thought about that. confronting the girl personally but i dont want it resulting to a family war like am against his success in life. i dont want to be the black sheep in the family because i cared too much

i understand you
just try to convince your brother if he refuses
wash pontius pilate hands and mark that you told him one of those days.

by the time he starts seeing it because it must.

honestly still pained on loosing my good friend recently
he suffered before death and all his money including his life savings was used for treatment
he even sold his car but at the end of the day he couldn't make it.
this happened at his peak of life late 30s
what killed him was an ordinary foot wound that refused to go and started sucking his blood with all numerous blood transfusion it was effortless
keeps sucking him dry till my friend looked like a skeleton.

This person am telling you is very much ok after all diagnosis apart from this sickness (sickle cell)
he's a federal worker

Softhands:
Until they see the troubles of bringing an SS into this world... their head no go correct... just leave them alone and posterity will favor you cos you did the right thing by speaking out.

gbam

misreal:
Your hatred for the girl will not change anything sir..you either believe with your brother that God can do anything,or forever remain silent..

God? God has already given us knowledge about this, why still go ahead and testing him?

eyinjuege:
Its not your relationship, neither is it your business.
The main thing is for both of them to understand the risks involved, and if they're ready to plunge in, goodluck to them.
Your place as a brother is to support. Not dictate, not rule or instruct your brother.
You should learn to respect your brother's choice and wishes. If you're not ready to support him, you can disown him.

Guy, by the time they have one or two sicklers in their home, the husband and wife will not even have time for themselves and for one another. They will blame each other for their stupid decision. Love will be a strange thing in their house.

luchee:

Sorry, I just had to quote you. There is nothing about respecting choices/wishes in this case because this doesn't involve only the couple but also the unborn child(ren) whom they might bring into the world to suffer. What about the child that might probably go through severe pains almost every day of his/her life?
If you have ever been close to any sickler, you wouldn't think twice about this.
What about even the trauma that the parents would have to pass through; hypertension and Co?
It is really not a nice experience.

Thank you. I once witnessed couple who had two sicklers out of four children. It was hell for them. But luckily for them, the two sicklers didn't get past 5 years of age.

DopeAngel:
exactly.thanks bro. I have tried all i can to talk him out. i think i have to involve extended family members. this is more than me

only few people are really making sense here, a lot are damn ignorant. i am in the same situation with your brother, got to know about the AS thing after 3 years of courtship, we were kinda devastated and it was as if the relationship has come to an abrupt end. despite our grief at that moment we decided to seek medical help, got more informed and we indeed found out there is a way out. I sat down with both families and briefed them, everything boils down to MONEY. I am capable of handling the financial burden of either IVF or PGD and we are willing to take it to the next level as soon as she through with her NYSC. just as AA and AA marriage doesn't in any way equals to HAPPINESS, AS and AS marriage is not equal to DOOM. the key is to be well informed and make a sound decision.

IT IS YOU WHO DO NOT UNDERSTAND THAT THERE ARE MODERN WAYS OF GOING AROUND THIS. IF YOU REALLY CARE, SUGGEST: 1) Post Genetic Implantation
Diagnosis (PGD), 2) CVS 3) Amniocentesis.

DopeAngel:
Serious Advice Needed Pls- How Can I Resolve This Impending Doom In My Family

Please nairalanders i kindly need your advice on this family issue. my elder bro met this girl sometime last two years after having too many disappointments in relationship. he said he wants to finally settle down that he is tired of waiting and disappointments.

Now the serious problem is both of them are genotype AS, but my brother does not care, he still wants to go ahead with the marriage. He is saying he has faith and hope in God that nothing will happen. even my parents are not helping matters, my parents are strong church elders and they are even saying my brother should pray that God can change things.

I am so pained with my parents stand on this issue knowing the severe consequence that follows. i was hoping they would outrightly dissolve the relationship but no they are hoping on God. What pains me the most is that the girl herself is a nurse, she knows better than everybody but yet she is not considering that.

Right now i hate the girl because she is coming to ruin the life of bro's unborn children

The 'wahala' that follows is not worth it, he had better clear whatever jazz is shacking him right away before he lands into a world of regrets, and had I known. Let him ask those before him who tried it.

Your brother is a Christian and has faith that the genotype can change, has he read where it is written, thou shall not put the Lord the God to test? Let him not be shocked when the very first child turns out to be SS. The child will hate him for life and he will never have peace. How can he be this wicked or just dumb. Hope he has seen a sickler having crisis before. He should just call off the stupid wedding. Prevention is better than experiment.

She's a Nurse?... That is no longer Ignorance, that is Negligence. She ought to know better being a Nurse. Or is love still blind in this century? Getting married to your Bro is a bad idea.

They are free to marry if they only have adopted children not biological children or rather seek the face of God and go for fiery prayers to change their genotype if possible

Christie06:
She's a Nurse?... That is no longer Ignorance, that is Negligence. She ought to know better being a Nurse. Or is love still blind in this century? Getting married to your Bro is a bad idea.

Love is not blind in this century. Go and read up on PGD testing. CVS and amniocentesis tests.

Macnnoli4:
They are free to marry if they only have adopted children not biological children or rather seek the face of God and go for fiery prayers to change their genotype if possible

Lol @ fiery prayers to change genotype.

There's a very prominent Pastor here in Nigeria whose wife had fertility issues, his kid was born via IVF and is only known to a few people.

God has made several ways. It's left for you to keep treading in the bush if you like.

OkoYibo:


See this one.

Not a single scientific line in the text you typed. I'm sure you've never heard of AC and the new genotypes being discovered.

How much is IVF? You don't know
What is CVS test? You don't know
How much is CVS test? You don't know

Take several seats let's teach you what you don't know.

Person when want scientific explanation, this guy poured my mind exactly and I will educate you a little. If they are wealthy then they can engage the following.

1. Villous sampling at 10-13 weeks or Amniocentesis at 16weeks. This involves getting pregnant naturally and testing the foetus at the recommended week. If the baby is SS an abortion is done and the process repeated until a healthy foetus is carried. This process cost about N300k

or

2. Pre Implantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD) after In Vitro Fertilisation (IVF). This process ensures the baby is not SS even before the baby is transferred to the mother's uterus. There is no guarantee the pregnancy will be carried to term. The cost of this process is roughly N3-N6m.

If they can not so the above and are being foolish by expecting a miracle, then they should be open to the following.

Money they will use to feed, buy car, build house and hospital bills. When the heat gets really hot, all your brother and his then wife will feel for each other is hate and blame.

This love that is intoxicating them now will disappear.

Aside the money that will be spent managing the child's health, their hearts will break anytime they see their weak child.

A child that can not participate in any strenuous activity,

No extra curricular school activity,

Discrimination and rejection against the child from age mate, teachers and other adults,

A child that can't bath cold water,

Their love is blind but marriage will open their eyes.

DopeAngel:
Serious Advice Needed Pls- How Can I Resolve This Impending Doom In My Family

Please nairalanders i kindly need your advice on this family issue. my elder bro met this girl sometime last two years after having too many disappointments in relationship. he said he wants to finally settle down that he is tired of waiting and disappointments.

Now the serious problem is both of them are genotype AS, but my brother does not care, he still wants to go ahead with the marriage. He is saying he has faith and hope in God that nothing will happen. even my parents are not helping matters, my parents are strong church elders and they are even saying my brother should pray that God can change things.

I am so pained with my parents stand on this issue knowing the severe consequence that follows. i was hoping they would outrightly dissolve the relationship but no they are hoping on God. What pains me the most is that the girl herself is a nurse, she knows better than everybody but yet she is not considering that.

Right now i hate the girl because she is coming to ruin the life of bro's unborn children

Call your family for a meeting, say your mind about the risk they are taking, let them know that they are the one digging their own pit and it's obvious they will fall inside if the house ahead.
After that leave them to continue their plans they will be the one to pay for their blind love. You can even sight examples with families that have sicklers as children let them visit them and get first hand experience.

DopeAngel:
Serious Advice Needed Pls- How Can I Resolve This Impending Doom In My Family

Please nairalanders i kindly need your advice on this family issue. my elder bro met this girl sometime last two years after having too many disappointments in relationship. he said he wants to finally settle down that he is tired of waiting and disappointments.

Now the serious problem is both of them are genotype AS, but my brother does not care, he still wants to go ahead with the marriage. He is saying he has faith and hope in God that nothing will happen. even my parents are not helping matters, my parents are strong church elders and they are even saying my brother should pray that God can change things.

I am so pained with my parents stand on this issue knowing the severe consequence that follows. i was hoping they would outrightly dissolve the relationship but no they are hoping on God. What pains me the most is that the girl herself is a nurse, she knows better than everybody but yet she is not considering that.

Right now i hate the girl because she is coming to ruin the life of bro's unborn children

Call your family for a meeting, say your mind about the risk they are taking, let them know that they are the one digging their own pit and it's obvious they will fall inside if they go ahead.
After that leave them to continue their plans they will be the one to pay for their blind love. You can even sight examples with families that have sicklers as children let them visit them and get first hand experience.

Except the would-be couples have a fool proof blue print of how to wade off SS from their union, they should be immediately arrested and charged with culpable homicide. They have no idea of the harrowing experiences of SS sufferers. They are contemplating wickedness of a high order!

CONFAMA:
The probability that they will give birth to a sickler is just 25% which is still low to me although the risks increases if they continue to bear children overtime without limitation.

My advice to the couple is to limit the number of their children to just one or two at most.

Sultan5:
This is a very tricky and delicate situation. I am a strong believer in preventive medicine but also a strong believer in God. From a medical standpoint this marriage is risky. The financial and emotional drain a child with SS brings is enormous. It will eventually cause a strain between them if they are not strong enough. Not to talk of the effects on the extended family. And that's just one child, what if they end up with multiple children been sicklers. I can't even begin to imagine.

On the other hand nothing is set in stone. With each pregnancy they have 1 in 4 chance of giving birth to a sickler and 3 in 4 chance of giving birth to a healthy child. Those aren't bad odds if you are a gambler. I believe faith is extremely important. I remember a few years ago in Winners Chapel Warri, a married couple who were both AS were testifying with a new born in hand and 2 smaller children close to them. Am sure you can guess their testimony, none of those children were sicklers. Some can say its pure luck others divine intervention. What I will say is Faith is a powerful force don't underestimate it.

Best thing for you to do is ensure again they both understand the risks. If they choose to go with faith let them, it's a powerful force. Don't interfere, your brother is not a child and neither is the girl. They know the risks and have BOTH chosen to go through with it. As long as neither one is mentally unstable or unsound in mind, its their choice and they have made it. You have to accept it, try to put aside your own stance and support them because that's what family do.

Trying to threaten the girl with only make matters worse and strengthen their resolve even more especially since your parents have given their blessings. The only thing you will succeed in doing is alienating yourself and I honestly don't see what good that will do.

Please understand, this wasn't an easy decision for them to make and you adding to that isn't fair to be honest. Yes they have made a decision you clearly don't agree with but in the end he is your family. And she will be your family should this pull through. Family gives support so give it. I will just advice you to place it in God's Hands and let him stir the situation to the permanent site.

Oga stop this bad advice, sharp-sharp! Faith is not foolishness. And faith does not give you the license to tempt God. The couple giving testimony at Winners' Chapel, do you know how they met and got married? Was it by clear divine instruction? If they heard clearly from God, that they should go ahead, then God Himself would probably have suspended any of the SS negative traits in their bloodline, and caused the situation to work out in their favour. Anyone who decides to imitate them, without the same clear divine mandate, would only have himself to blame, if he does not escape the SS problem in his coming generation.

Do you remember the phrase tossed out to the sons of Sceva, when they tried to imitate Apostle Paul? Imitation can become a costly mistake, if it does not follow the same principles as the archetypal prototype, which was laid on a strong foundation of originality.

For AS+AS couples, there is something called the principle of independent assortment. It means that each of the A and S genotypes, can match up with other S genotype, in any random formation. That is why even when people say, that there is a 25% chance of having an SS child, you should know that, this same chance could come into play, every time that the wife conceives. It cannot be predicted with certainty, which of the pregnancies would result in an SS child. It is like rolling a dice. You could be lucky and none of the kids might be SS, or you could be unlucky and ALL the children might be SS - sickle cell sufferers.

I have seen AS+AS couples with 4 children, and 3 out of the 4 kids were SS! I have also seen AS+AS couples, with 3 children and only 1 was an SS. A few years ago, I met another AS+AS couple with 2 kids, and both of those children were SS. On my street is an elderly couple with 2 kids as well, but none of those kids are SS. Both children are AS. Now, how does one explain that?! It is a lot like playing russian roulette - highly risky and unpredictable.

I always tell couples who share the AS trait, if they are not married: Walk away and DON'T do it! If you ever see a sickler having a crises, you would weep for them. If such AS couples are already married, then they should think of adopting kids, or if they have a lot of money, they could consider Pre-implantation genetic diagnosis (PGD) alongside in-vitro fertilisation (IVF), in order to minimise the risk of having SS babies. But the entire procedure costs a lot of money!

Each time I see unmarried AS+AS couple professing love and embarking on a journey of foolishness into holy matrimony, I sit them down and explain the challenges they would face to them. If they persist in their foolishness, I pray that God opens the eyes of their understanding, so that their village people do not end up playing ludo, scrabble, or lottery, with their destiny!

folake4u:
I'm telling you. Even the so called solution "Bone marrow transplant " which will remove the sickle cell completely from the child's body is a game of probability 50-50 ,the child might live or die. Should we talk about the cost or other complications? .

God help us.

Don't mind them. Do they know how many people have died from sickle cell disease (SCD), even after undergoing bone marrow transplants? I know someone who passed away 1 year after doing a BM transplant, in a Washington hospital due to SCD.