Dear NL I really need a sincere and honest advice on this. I met this girl since 2005 when i was schooling in the east before leaving Nigeria to further my education. The very first day i met her i fell in love with her. but after sometimes she had problem with her studies and relocated. I later got her contact and started communicating but never mention my intention to her.

In 2007 i visited Nigeria and luckily met her in Abuja we linked up but still did not inform her intention towards her till i left Nigeria. Recently i visited Nigeria, and she came to see me, I then told her i want to marry her and unfortunately  its too late. We are both born again Christians and want to do the will of GOD.

She told me how she loves me and would like to spend the rest of her life with me, but also share with me how God revealed somebody to her and she said i should have told her earlier than this. I love this girl so much that i can't take my mind off her and also she does the same thing. She said may be the grace she is carrying is not meant for me and if we insist may not go well and I agreed with her. I am a Christian from far North west and she from South East. Pls don't turn this to trival thread i need a sincere counsel. thanks

Dude, God is like the final calling card o. Free the chic. U messed up now she's politely letting U know there's someone she's with and possibly betrothed to him. Do Urself a huge favour and get another girl ok?

i thought you said you weren't Christians before so how come god revealed to her moreover if god doesn't want you togethe how will you have met so many times.

Una too dey slow sef,u dey fear woman too?

Oya go make ur own prayer so u fit hear from God urself

tweetch:

i thought you said you weren't Christians before so how come god revealed to her moreover if god doesn't want you togethe how will you have met so many times.

No we were both Christian when we met

I sat and thot more on Ur situation and i'm wondering now; what do u want?

Onchedu:

I sat and thot more on your situation and i'm wondering now; what do u want?

. Well like i said i need counsel. I strongly believe Will of God starts where there is genuine love. She once told me that we can pray for God to change her man's mind if it is not His will for them to be together but to me that is contradictory. Should I pray this prayer. I try to pray towards another direction but the more I pray the deeper my love for her grows.

this is the part i am finding hard to reconcile with she said you should have told her earlier right? so if you had told her earlier would you become the will of God?have you prayed about it, what are you hearing.pls be careful on any decision you make and i hope she is not just scared cos of promises she has made to the other guy.

A little courage would have helped you earlier. But you didnt make use of it. Or maybe you are a shy guy.
Sorry!!!

andromida:

this is the part i am finding hard to reconcile with she said you should have told her earlier right? so if you had told her earlier would you become the will of God?have you prayed about it, what are you hearing.pls be careful on any decision you make and i hope she is not just scared cos of promises she has made to the other guy.

. She said may be it would have helped in her decision and prevented from making comitment. the botomline that she does not want to break her promises to the other guy and I did not know that she was involved with another man before i told her my intention.

kemisuga:

A little courage would have helped you earlier.  But you didnt make use of it. Or maybe you are a shy guy.
Sorry!!!

I am not shy just was praying and waiting for what i think was the appropriate time.

are these the facts;she loves you but has commited to another man therefore does not want to hurt this other guy if not she'd rather be with you when she said God revealed to her about the other guy did she mean she is committed to the other guy and cant leave him for you?you sound like a good xtian so what are have you heard while praying cos you were praying thats is why you didnt approach her all the while right?

Onchedu:

Dude, God is like the final calling card o. Free the chic. U messed up now she's politely letting U know there's someone she's with and possibly betrothed to him. Do Urself a huge favour and get another girl ok?

@Poster, Please take heed of the advise above

andromida:

are these the facts;she loves you but has commited to another man therefore does not want to hurt this other guy if not she'd rather be with you when she said God revealed to her about the other guy did she mean she is committed to the other guy and cant leave him for you?you sound like a good xtian so what are have you heard while praying cos you were praying thats is why you didnt approach her all the while right?

To be frank with you I just have this deep love her and makes me not to appreciate any other woman apart from her. But cannot i cannot say i heard any Spirit witness or voice, rather the love grows deeper and deeper everyday. We distance so i dnt even see her like i said earlier.

ok. did she categorically tell you she heard fromthe spirit or however she relates with God?does her love for you grow stronger too?

You no go leave the girl now wey she tell you say God don reavel the person whey she go marry for her if you go force her and she eventually marry you and later she eventually start messing around with her God sent husband you will say your wife is ashawo, guy u don get money so , wa iyawo e si wa ju

andromida:

ok. did she categorically tell you she heard fromthe spirit or however she relates with God?does her love for you grow stronger too?

this is an sms from her " 1st time we met in 2007 i saw in ur eyes how much u love me & since den dis love has not diminishd instead it grew as time unfolded. iv no regret having u in my life, u'r such a BRAVE person, loving, caring, a man of great understanding, selfless&always there4his friends. u'r d dream of every seerious minded woman. iv no doubt. i knw u didnt misunderstand me. i bliv u so much. i appreciate ur love 4me, ur desire to spend ur future with me. i desire that too bicos i love u so much,

Csc42554:

You no go leave the girl now wey she tell you say God don reavel the person whey she go marry for her[b] if you go force her and she eventually marry you and later she eventually start messing around with her God sent husband you will say your wife is ashawo, guy u don get money so , wa iyawo e si wa ju

[/b] That is my fear too no matter how much i love her i wouldnt want us to do what is contrary to the will of God for us. But the problem i m having now i cant get her off my mind neither do i seem find her replacement.

this is what i think she is confused.she expected you to have made the move earlier but u were slow so she met this guy who she decided to marry based on the conclusion she'd come to that you were not interested in her enuf to marry her.
she has committed to another r/ship and she does not want to betray the guys confidence in her.I personally have never been a beliver of staying somewhere when wht you want is right in front of you so if you feel somewhere in your heart that she is the right person for you take her by storm and make her yours like i said earlier unless she specifically heard God telling or confirming to her that the other guy is her hubby,so long as she is still single guy,try your best to get what you want eventually u'll be doing her the favor and even if she refuses you would have tried your best meanwhile pray for divine guidance as for the other guy if she truly loves you you guys would have saved him the stress of being in an unhappy situation.

bros u say u r a christian so i ask, do you really believe that God has revealed someone else for her? the answer to that should guide you as you must know that you cannot work against God's will. if she is meant for you then relax and pray. you have done your part by letting her know your feelings now let God (that you both claim to believe in) do his work

Sorry guy it is hard to say, but i have got to tell you that she is not yours. If she was meant for you it does not matter whether you have not seen her for 20yrs , God would have kept her for you. It is much more easier to advise you on this since you are both christians, you know what? God has spoken and there is nothing you can do about it. It is only fools that argue with God. Mind you, God is Spirit and those that are for Him worship Him in truth and in spirit. Talk to Him, He will show you your own. She might be a few steps away from where you are at the moment, even in the net or nairaland, 1Chor1:27,

amefi:

Sorry guy it is hard to say, but i have got to tell you that she is not yours. If she was meant for you it does not matter whether you have not seen her for 20yrs , God would have kept her for you. It is much more easier to advise you on this since you are both christians, you know what? God has spoken and there is nothing you can do about it. I[b]t is only fools that argue with Go[/b]d. Mind you, God is Spirit and those that are for Him worship Him in truth and in spirit. Talk to Him, He will show you your own. She might be a few steps away from where you are at the moment, even in the net or nairaland, 1Chor1:27,

I agree completely and i dnt want to be one! but how do I erase her out of my mind. I sincerely prayed that God should erase her either replacing her or causing something that will make me forget about her, but instead the love grows every blessed day! to the second highlighted i said amen to it. thanks

silami:

I agree completely and i dnt want to be one! but how do I erase her out of my mind. I sincerely prayed that God should erase her either replacing her or causing something that will make me forget about her, but instead the love grows every blessed day! to the second highlighted i said amen to it. thanks

My brother, it is not easy to forget your first love, i don't mean your first friend, understand? what i think you should do is to get it inside you first that she's no more in existence as long as you're concern.

To me you are only nursing the feeling that she would have been a wonderful wife to you but brother, all that glitters is not gold as you may find out one day
I'm just afraid that it might affect your relationship in future as you'd keep reflecting on her good side as you may have not had the opportunity of noticing her ugly side.
cheer up brov, everything cloud has a silver lining

it is well
i bet it is nt as easy as ppl think unless they are in ur shoes as well  but pls know ds for sure, there's a way dat seems right, d end is distruction.
man proposes, God disposes
it is for man to make plans, it is for God to make happen
even b4 we throw d dice, God knows how it would fall.
let God guide u and d peace dat passes all understanding will flood ur heart.
let go and let God do His will in ur life.
God super rules
Stay in His hands, He wont mismanage u.

Be still and know that the Lord is God.

^^^ Thanks bro well said ill try.

Brother Silami, God is never the author of confusion and he knows the intent of our heart. both of you should learn to come out straight and stop hiding under ''God reveals''. i agree both of u truly love each other but time, distance and human factors distrupted your intents and now that you have eating enough ''liver'' to come out boldly it is too late, cos the girls has seen someone who is bold enough. my brother if you both of you do not kill whatever you felt for each other right away you will one day forget you are xtians and eat the forbidden fruits. take heed!

Chai,see me see words of wisdom abi na knowledge i go call am.
ok,my bro, since you ar a true believer or a real born again christian,why not take this issue as 'EVERY DISAPPOINTMENT MIGHT BE A BLESSING IN DISGUISE', the earlier you accept the fact that she's not made for you the better.Tho i kno these is not easy to do,but don't worry,i believe with time you ll surely get her out of your system. Gud luck ^

Thanks. But I said I deeply love her not that she was revealed to me. She was the one who saw revelation about someone!