ArinzeRaph:
Idi wicked

So you wanna share bills 50-50 with your wife?

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
So you wanna share bills 50-50 with your wife?

No, but there is much gap

ArinzeRaph:
No, but there is much gap

As a pure Igbo man you'll agree 30% monetary contribution for a wife is too much. Most guys prefer to provide 100% and the woman concern herself with taking good care of the family.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
As a pure Igbo man you'll agree 30% monetary contribution for a wife is too much. Most guys prefer to provide 100% and the woman concern herself with taking good care of the family.

Not any more. That was before.

ArinzeRaph:
Not any more. That was before.

I understand.

freshvine:


it's unwise to attack my post base on sentiment and uncontrolled emotion.
whatever money her hubby borrowed was for the good of the family, she decided to support him by increasing her stake in bills...(not doing hubby a favour but making sure her young family does'nt run aground). this is the point i allude if she thinks she need recompense then she's selfish.

men has been taking financial responsibilities of home without grudge so why is it difficult for a woman to step up without demanding for some sort of accolade?

If he has enough to send to family and friends, that means he has enough to take responsibility in the house and take charge.

One of the worst things is to marry a man that has a low sense of responsibility and is selfish.

These days we have too many men who want their wives to pay the bills while they sit on their oars and demand respect

mimimile93:


Ufan remember I said that I am not in support of her husband's behaviour.
I was just asking that question because not only her, I've seen and heard a lot of women yelling whenever it comes to taking responsibilities but would fight for equality when it comes to benefits.

Let her endure, change is constant and I believe the man would change. She can't start adding fuel to the fire.
Let her remember the motto and keep her head up.
Motto: No pain No gain.

Ima mpo aba'diah? Adu ke mong?

Taking responsibility doesn't mean the man should leave everything to her and cross his legs.

Endure what? Marriage is not a bondage where people go to endure. It is supposed to be two people trying to make life easier and bearable for each other.

Mkpo mmo odo. Ndu ke ufok mmi

freshvine:


take a look in the mirror, say to yourself loudly...(i am a married woman with responsibility). continue saying it until it sink deep into your consciousness.

after this exercise, you'll come to terms that you've responsibities toward your family irrespective of your husband's insensitivity. that way, selfishness will evaporate from your moral fibre.

Please learn to be rational.

What's the husband's responsibility?
Did she make the kids by herself?

At op there's a reason why women always hide their money and claim they don't have.
When you start shouldering these responsibilities, 90% of the time the man will relax and it becomes your problem.

You've already started it will be difficult for him to reset his brain to start taking responsibility.

Start lying that you don't have money too.

Don't fight. Just explain when he's in good mood that there's salary cut or anything you can make up so that he doesn't expect much from you.

Next time never reveal your true worth since the he takes advantage of it.

Wisdom is profitable to direct.

You welcome ma. God bless and increase you greatly too.

badwife:
q

Thank you so much and God bless you.

I don't really understand why a woman will be using her hard earned money to feed a man/ carry the financial responsibility of the home

Op. Sorry, he will never change... He will prefer to give his mother/ father/ siblings/ sidechick money than taking care of your or your children

I earn equal amount with my husband and early this year I told him I will bear full responsibility of the home with the exception of dstv payment and buying of fuel so he can clear all debts he incurred.

Debt he incurred doing what?
How can you take.on the full load of care of the household,na so love dey shack you?
Mbanu.

I've been feeding the house, buying toiletries, fueling the generator, assist with the car servicing, I pay the school fees and so many other things to numerous too mention.

I have been doing all these things with little grumbling and no appreciation from my husband.

No be you turn to superwoman. ?
Do you blame him?

Most times I have to beg my family for assistance because my salary is not enough.

See how women take on problems on their head.
He didn't coerce you,you took on this role on your own and now begging for money from relatives.

My husband got some extra money this month and I asked him to assist with 10,000naira only and he has blatantly refused (I asked in a loving way).

I feel he is taking me for granted because he thinks I don't have the mind to keep malice (as he does), I have decided not to do anything in this house anymore.

He told me he will do what he likes and I have decided to take that stand too...I asked my husband to spare 10k for feeding and 5k for making my hair out of 300k he received and he has refused.

I have never eaten my husbands 1000naira before but he gives his family and friends.

As far as he is concerned you can handle things
You made a huge mistake by that offer

I feel betrayed and i have decided to be wise

I agree you made a terrible mistake.
The windfall he got can take care of the debt plus sow seed in the life of others so you are now free to revert to the old arrangement since he is now out of debt.
Don't fuss over "eating his money" you're a big girl,this is not the time of your grandma,you have a job and making your own money,eat yours.
Cheers

badwife:
Marriage has not favoured me in anyway, I'm just bearing MRS for nothing.

Really?
I have no clue why you are complaining over a burden you used your own two hands to place on your head.

I feel betrayed, I see other wives enjoying their home and looking good.
I have given my best and I'm being taken for granted

3 years in marriage you said.
My dear relax, wisdom comes with time and experience.
Next time don't bite off more than you can chew.
Learn from this initial mistake and move on.
All young wives make their foolish mistakes and the wise ones learn quickly

No no no... take full responsibility bawo now? My sister you fall my hand o.
You have to write out all the house expenses, then the both of you will contribute toward it.. remaining change is your own pocket money / personal expenses.

Don’t do that again unless you are Alakija or smth

Op, this month of June write down every household expenses - including expenses to make your hair, sanitary and hygiene stuff etc don't forget to add miscellaneous expenses. Call a meeting between you both and discuss how the money no reach.
Make Oyb no catch me.

Did you read where she said her husband doesn’t love her? That he married her because she got pregnant.

There’s nothing to say again after that, a man that loves you will work 2 jobs to make ends meet and make you happy.

Madam please continue carrying your cross abeg, who sent you to marry man that hasn’t given you 1k?

I’m sure you now always look scruffy. Abeg shift from here!

badwife:
I have to do this to keep my sanity in check, pardon my grammatical errors.

I've been married to my husband for three years and we've been having serious financial struggles but God has been our helper.

I'm the last child of my parents and my siblings are doing very well financially and even support me sometimes.

I earn equal amount with my husband and early this year I told him I will bear full responsibility of the home with the exception of dstv payment and buying of fuel so he can clear all debts he incurred.

I've been feeding the house, buying toiletries, fueling the generator, assist with the car servicing, I pay the school fees and so many other things to numerous too mention.

I have been doing all these things with little grumbling and no appreciation from my husband.
Most times I have to beg my family for assistance because my salary is not enough.

My husband got some extra money this month and I asked him to assist with 10,000naira only and he has blatantly refused (I asked in a loving way).

I feel he is taking me for granted because he thinks I don't have the mind to keep malice (as he does), I have decided not to do anything in this house anymore.

He told me he will do what he likes and I have decided to take that stand too...I asked my husband to spare 10k for feeding and 5k for making my hair out of 300k he received and he has refused.

I have never eaten my husbands 1000naira before but he gives his family and friends.

I feel betrayed and i have decided to be wise

I think basically you've over stretched your finances, since both of you earn equal amounts and you claim he doesn't over stretch himself financially, then that's a problem. Cut off some of your obligations like school fees and feeding. Let the kids stay off school for a month, no one will tell him what to do. Ideally, bills is meant to be shared based on both party's agreement, I'll say 70/30. Unless wife is jobless or husband earns way less. People who don't earn up to both of you guys are financially happy. Communication is a very essential tool, not fighting or faulting.