i used to be the emotional type from the time when i was a kid and i lived just fine with that. No depression, nothing.

Growing up, things had to change, i had to face the tough world and it demanded that i had to drop my emotion somewhere, and i did. For the first time in my left i felt extremely confident, the adrenaline rush was good and i loved it, i didn't want it to end. I had no girlfriend then, no love, some girls crushed on me but i was too strong hearted to crush back. Infact, i had no particular love for love.

But i had loved before and it is my weakness. I was strolling around on facebook and i saw this lady who i sort of dated before. I loved her then but i had to part ways with her because, well, things weren't going as it should. I wanted her back because i thought i could handle everything perfectly now. So i messaged her and we got talking. She said i was always rude to her in our chats, thats why she stopped talking to me. I apologised and we started again. Things have been going perfectly since then.

But its as if i can't handle love. Till this very moment i hate to be emotional. I always avoid it like plague. Infact, that was part of the reason i was reluctant to date. But like i said before, i thought i could handle it now.

I was wrong. Whenever i got talking with her, i get emotional and it continues for days. The problem here is not me being emotional, its me being depressed as a result of being emotional. Each time i get emotional, depression follows. Something in me tells me it is wrong to feel emotional. And so strong is this voice that i get depressed if i damn the consequences and get emotional.

Am starting to think i'm not cut out for love. But how am i gonna get married and maintain my marriage if i don't love?

I have been watching movies all day because i cant just work in this condition. I need to get a help ASAP.

Please if you've experienced this before, help a brother out.