Every lady needs to be mentally, physically and emotionally ready before getting married. Yes! marriage takes a lot to make it work. For many women, marriage is something they’ve been looking forward to since they were a little girl. While it’s undoubtedly an exciting and momentous experience in life, it’s far from the only life-changing and all-important event. For this reason, it’s best not to rush your trip down to the altar. This is true even if you’ve been with your significant other for several years  or even decades.

Below are some lists that can help prepare you mentally, emotionally and physically for a successful and long-lasting marriage.

1.Create a Life That You Love *Without* a Partner
That way, when he shows up, you’re already grounded. You’re not dependent on him, and you'll be more likely to find someone who loves you and your passions.

2. Create a List of Five Values It's Important Your Partner Has
Say, for example, that finding a partner who follows a sustainable lifestyle is absolutely crucial for you. Put that on the list as a reminder not to compromise on your core values. Disclaimer: If you feel that your priorities are shifting and that what you thought was a dealbreaker value isn't really a dealbreaker value anymore, then by all means, change your list. It's not set in stone. But if the guy you're heading down the aisle with right now doesn't meet one of the criteria on your list—and you still feel it's important—then it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship before you make a big mistake.

3.Learn How to Be Alone without Being Lonely
Need some help? Try taking yourself to dinner once a week or planning one night a week just for you. You’ll find that whatever you choose to do in those moments is what you really want to do. And knowing how to “find your chill” is crucial because it means that you don’t need outside validation to feel whole—and you don’t put unfair expectations on your partner to keep you entertained. In turn, you’ll likely encourage your partner to pursue his hobbies, too, which will create a healthy interdependent relationship. It’s better to rely on each other completely equally than to have one person do the heavy lifting, which will likely cause tension down the line.


4.Create Time and Space in Your Life for a Relationship
You know that whole idea of "If you build it, they will come?" The same goes for your love life: If you make room in your life for a relationship, you're way more likely to find that one falls into place. And if you have an S.O. but don’t invest enough time or effort into your partnership, chances are you won't have it for long.

5. Agree on How You and Your Partner Will Handle Your Finances.
You may have been managing your own finances for a while now, but once you meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, figuring out how to share a bank account can get tricky. Discuss financial biggies (read: any potential debt you'll need to manage, what you're comfortable paying for rent or a mortgage, what the price cutoff should be for discussing an impulse purchase, how much you want to try to save each month, etc.) in advance so you know what you’re dealing with from the get-go.

6. Stop sharing every detail of your relationship with others
When you first met or started dating, you might have unveiled every tiny detail about your now  to your friends and maybe even your family. But now that you’re serious, it's important to preserve and protect the integrity of the relationship. “When you get mad, no Facebook rants or cryptic quotes about a fight you may be having and no more calling all of your friends for consensus about whether you are right or wrong in an argument,” says Nelson. “Your marriage is sacred and what happens in your relationship needs to stay in your relationship.” She suggests instead, leaning on a trusted best friend to blow off steam or find a therapist that you can confide in and learn skills to be a better mate and get through conflicts.

7. Learn To Cook
No, Noodles doesn’t count as food.


http://www.adamasmagazine.com.ng/things-every-lady-should-do-before-getting-married/

All these are superficial

#7 is the so perfect.

HARDDON:
All these are superficial

hmmm, why is that?

Heavance:
#7 is the so perfect.

Hope yuh mom did all that...

Heavance:
#7 is the so perfect.

I prefer #8



Continue reading

A submissive man will make a good husband unlike their dominant counterpart.

very key points

Colourich:
A submissive man will make a good husband unlike their dominant counterpart.

VERY TRUE

adamasmag:

hmmm, why is that?

Because the mind controls life and living. The intangible controls the tangible and the seen, unseen.

A single lady that really values the institution of marriage should rather work on her mind and almost every other thing shall fall in place.

It is only then also that these your list can stand.


AREAS LADIES NEED MIND MENDING

1. WRONG Mind Set About Guys: " all men are dogs, cheats and unfaithful". You can't go into marriage with this consciousness lurking at the back of your mind. If you do, even if you meet a faithful guy, your thoughts would make a random sampling dog outa him.

The Bible is quite clear about that; " you shall have whatever you say." And " life and death are in the power of the tongue". Wonder how the mind is related to the tongue? well, "out of the abundance of the heart(mind), the mouth speaketh"

A lot of married ladies are actually responsible for their men cheating.
How can your Prince charming, the man you've waited and prayed to God for all your life be reduced to nothing but a dog in your mind? And you expect him not turn out as one?

2. Positive Mentality:

Instead of seeing the cup half empty, see it as half full.
Instead of thinking he is coming home late because he went to see some side Chick, think "maybe he is stuck In hold up.

Instead of always trying to chop off his head because he didn't do something right, see it as a perfect partnership where the short comings of one is quickly absorbed by the other.


3. Working on the Mind as it relates to God and prayers for your union and all


4. Developing the mind with books on the difference between being single and been married. Friends, family and mentors in marriage.

5. Working on the mind as it relates to finances. NO, what is his isn't only for the Fam and what is yours, yours. It is a partnership. Everyone must have everything in common.


And a host of others, but the bottom line is, Knowledge and marriage wisdom don't jump on people from outa space. They must be acquired through good books from people who have made impact in their marriages, vids and the guidance of the Holy Spirit!


Life is in the mind ( spiritual). You can't apply physical approach to it.

Colourich:
A submissive man will make a good husband unlike their dominant counterpart.

Submissive man? More like woman wrapper! It is your type that visit shrines....

What a mentality.

HARDDON:
2. Positive Mentality:

Instead of seeing the cup half empty, see it as half full.
Instead of thinking he is coming home late because he went to see some side Chick, think "maybe he is stuck In hold up.

Instead of always trying to chop of his head because he didn't do something right, see it as a perfect partnership where the short comings of one is quickly absorbed by the other.


3. Working on the Mind as it relates to God and prayers for your union and all




4. Developing the mind with books on the difference between being single and been married. Friends, family and mentors in marriage.

5. Working on the mind as it relates to finances. NO, what is his isn't only for the Fam and what is yours, yours. It is a partnership.


And a host of others, but the bottom line is, Knowledge and marriage wisdom don't jump on people from outa space. They must be acquired through good books from people who have made impact in their marriages, vids and the guidance of the Holy Spirit!


Life is in the mind ( spiritual). You can't apply physical approach to it.

wisdom here, thanks for sharing

Live your own life.

Love who you want.

No games. Twitter experts won't live your life for you.

Bleep if you want. Don't bleep if you don't want to. Do not use bleeping or the lack of bleeping to keep a man. It won't work.

HARDDON:


Submissive man? More like woman wrapper! It is your type that visit shrines....

What a mentality.

I don't like dominant men, they turn me off, is it that hard to understand given to the fact that I am dominant.

Colourich:
I don't like dominant men, they turn me off, is it that hard to understand given to the fact that I am dominant.

U Dominant or Demonized?

What happened to this instruction by HE who instituted marriage? "... WIFE SUBMIT to your husbands?"

adamasmag:
Every lady needs to be mentally, physically and emotionally ready before getting married. Yes! marriage takes a lot to make it work. For many women, marriage is something they’ve been looking forward to since they were a little girl. While it’s undoubtedly an exciting and momentous experience in life, it’s far from the only life-changing and all-important event. For this reason, it’s best not to rush your trip down to the altar. This is true even if you’ve been with your significant other for several years  or even decades.

Below are some lists that can help prepare you mentally, emotionally and physically for a successful and long-lasting marriage.

1.Create a Life That You Love *Without* a Partner
That way, when he shows up, you’re already grounded. You’re not dependent on him, and you'll be more likely to find someone who loves you and your passions.

2. Create a List of Five Values It's Important Your Partner Has
Say, for example, that finding a partner who follows a sustainable lifestyle is absolutely crucial for you. Put that on the list as a reminder not to compromise on your core values. Disclaimer: If you feel that your priorities are shifting and that what you thought was a dealbreaker value isn't really a dealbreaker value anymore, then by all means, change your list. It's not set in stone. But if the guy you're heading down the aisle with right now doesn't meet one of the criteria on your list—and you still feel it's important—then it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship before you make a big mistake.

3.Learn How to Be Alone without Being Lonely
Need some help? Try taking yourself to dinner once a week or planning one night a week just for you. You’ll find that whatever you choose to do in those moments is what you really want to do. And knowing how to “find your chill” is crucial because it means that you don’t need outside validation to feel whole—and you don’t put unfair expectations on your partner to keep you entertained. In turn, you’ll likely encourage your partner to pursue his hobbies, too, which will create a healthy interdependent relationship. It’s better to rely on each other completely equally than to have one person do the heavy lifting, which will likely cause tension down the line.


4.Create Time and Space in Your Life for a Relationship
You know that whole idea of "If you build it, they will come?" The same goes for your love life: If you make room in your life for a relationship, you're way more likely to find that one falls into place. And if you have an S.O. but don’t invest enough time or effort into your partnership, chances are you won't have it for long.

5. Agree on How You and Your Partner Will Handle Your Finances.
You may have been managing your own finances for a while now, but once you meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, figuring out how to share a bank account can get tricky. Discuss financial biggies (read: any potential debt you'll need to manage, what you're comfortable paying for rent or a mortgage, what the price cutoff should be for discussing an impulse purchase, how much you want to try to save each month, etc.) in advance so you know what you’re dealing with from the get-go.

6. Stop sharing every detail of your relationship with others
When you first met or started dating, you might have unveiled every tiny detail about your now  to your friends and maybe even your family. But now that you’re serious, it's important to preserve and protect the integrity of the relationship. “When you get mad, no Facebook rants or cryptic quotes about a fight you may be having and no more calling all of your friends for consensus about whether you are right or wrong in an argument,” says Nelson. “Your marriage is sacred and what happens in your relationship needs to stay in your relationship.” She suggests instead, leaning on a trusted best friend to blow off steam or find a therapist that you can confide in and learn skills to be a better mate and get through conflicts.

7. Learn To Cook
No, Noodles doesn’t count as food.

continue reading
http://www.adamasmagazine.com.ng/things-every-lady-should-do-before-getting-married/
cc Dominique, Mynd44,lalasticlala,seun

Why didnt you add financially ready too?


Ladies, if you are a member of this forum and you dont have any source of income, you dont have any job or biz that brings atleast 20k in a month.., Then you dont have any bizness with marriage.


I hate hearing some married women say things like "Aunty, borrow me 500 naira to cook food for my children, I will pay you back when my husband comes back from work".

Money gives you voice in life. it gives you voice among your friends, It gives voice among your family members, it gives you voice in your church, It even gives you voice in your marriage.

Colourich:
A submissive man will make a good husband unlike their dominant counterpart.

It depends.
If you're dominant, you'll enjoy relating with a submissive because while you will feel comfortable expressing the urge to dominate him, he or she will equally enjoy the freedom to express his or her submissive urge.

There's a caveat here, however, the degree of your dominant tendencies has to match with his or her submissive urge, or else, one would hardly cope with the other. This is extremely important!

desiregold:
Why didnt you add financially ready too?


Ladies, if you are a member of this forum and you dont have any source of income, you dont have any job or biz that brings atleast 20k in a month.., Then you dont have any bizness with marriage.


I hate hearing some married women say things like "Aunty, borrow me 500 naira to cook food for my children, I will pay you back when my husband comes back from work".

Money gives you voice in life. it gives you voice among your friends, It gives voice among your family members, it gives you voice in your church, It even gives you voice in your marriage.

powerful point, Thanks for sharing.
It is good for a woman to be financially empowered.
The idea of waiting for a man to foot the bills, is so odd.

donjobill:


It depends.
If you're dominant, you'll enjoy relating with a submissive because while you will feel comfortable expressing the urge to dominate him, he or she will equally enjoy the freedom to express his or her submissive urge.

There's a caveat here, however, the degree of your dominant tendencies has to match with his or her submissive urge, or else, one would hardly cope with the other. This is extremely important!

very important. Nice point there

cooooooks:
Live your own life.

Love who you want.

No games. Twitter experts won't live your life for you.

Bleep if you want. Don't bleep if you don't want to. Do not use bleeping or the lack of bleeping to keep a man. It won't work.

hmmm, to every man his own prerogative.

adamasmag:


very important. Nice point there

Thanks!

Colourich:
I don't like dominant men, they turn me off, is it that hard to understand given to the fact that I am dominant.

useless animal are u ban

We used to follow each other and I enjoyed your blogs

jaksmillioniar:
useless animal are u ban

DonPiiko:
We used to follow each other and I enjoyed your blogs

I dont get

Knowledge is more powerful than emotion.

Sadly, a good percentage of marriages are contracted on mere emotions, void of a refined knowledge of oneself (potential, personality, paths...), one's partner, the purpose and pattern of marriage, parenting and all.

Hence, the absence of such knowledge creates abuse of one's self, partner and marriage.

Many don't have knowledge and they're not interested in knowing.

Wisdom is the principal thing (given by God) and in all your gettings (education, career, partner, marriage), get understanding (it's a conscious personal effort).

jaksmillioniar:
useless animal are u ban

Why are you following me?

HARDDON:


Dominant or Demonized?

What happened to this instruction by HE who instituted marriage? "... WIFE SUBMIT to your husbands?"

And who said I won't submit to my husband..

Colourich:
And who said I won't submit to my husband..

I put it to you then that you got no clue about the Word Dominant

learn to be loyal and submissive to your husband. Don't listen to bad advice from outside, they just want to ruin your home

Not a bad list