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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy (6883 Views)
Diary Of A Virgin Boy (episode 1) / Hills And Wills Nwokedi, Twin Authors Of Dominik's Diaries / Romance Story] Diary Of A Virgin Boy (2) (3) (4)
The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by LekinsRibirth(m): 11:50am On Jun 17, 2018 |
Story written by Lekins. A. All rights reserved. 2018. |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by LekinsRibirth(m): 11:55am On Jun 17, 2018 |
Typographical error is inevitable. I'll do my best to minimize them. Kindly do well to point me towards necessary corrections. Looking forward to your comments. Thanks. |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by LekinsRibirth(m): 12:15pm On Jun 17, 2018 |
Episode 1 ________ I came out of the bathroom and the environment was awkwardly quiet. I quickly put on my shorts and dashed to my room. I didn't bother to apply my lotion as I was apparently late for service. My parents had left me home. Again! It's not the first time it has happened. I've always been consistently late for church every Sunday since I turned 18 two years ago. My parents used to complain but since I officially became an adult, they stopped. They pretty much gave me my own space and I make 60% of my life's decisions. Although, there is still occasional scolding, nagging, and unceasing advice from my mom. I can't blame her, am her last child. Today was our thanksgiving service and I managed to wake up late after spending the night engrossed in softcore porn. Now, I know what you're thinking… This dude must be a perv! Actually, I just happen to stumble across the stuff. I was browsing through a random website and an ad popped up on my cell screen. What do you expect? I wasn't particularly interested in the crap, I was just puzzled by the skills of the porn actors. I wondered how anyone would be comfortable having their genitals in public display for the world to see. Who am I to judge anyway? Unlike me, they aren't hypocrites who pretend to have it all together when deep down, you're damaged in more ways you'd like to admit! *** I arrived at the church premises pretty late. I didn't bother going inside because I didn't want to draw attention to myself. If there's one thing I hate, it's to be noticed. This is pretty difficult since am fairly light in complexion with a tall lanky body conformation. According to most remarks I've gotten, am a "pretty" boy! Yeah, I get compliments a lot. From both girls and guys and it pisses me off most of the time. Constantly being told you're cute begins to make you feel like you're some kind of an "object". You begin to feel that people are around you not necessarily because they like you for what you are, but because of your attractiveness. This is the reason why I've never had a functional girlfriend. It's particularly revolting when people begin to presume the most ridiculous things because you're cute. "Am sure you don't sleep with the same girl twice. You obviously rotate girls like boxers. Don't you, Alvin?" - That's what a girl once told me at a camp meeting. I was totally put off by her assumption but I managed to smile and reply politely… "The fact you're a slut who sleep around doesn't mean you should assume that of everybody." I find it rather myopic and shallow to assume every good-looking person is either a hoe or a player. The church service ended 40 minutes later and I was looking for the next available transit to get out of the premises as fast as possible. I didn't want to see or speak to anyone am familiar with. Small talks isn't one of my forte and I sometimes tend to have recurring social anxiety. By now you may have assumed am an introvert. Well, am not entirely sure. When it comes to delivering open renditions or organised public speaking, that's where I shine. But holding small talks and chatting, I get numb. I spend most of my free time alone creating fashion designs and painting. It's one of the ways I escape from the world. I avoid public functions unless I absolutely need to be there. For this reason, a lot of people who don't know me presume am a snub. I understand them though, quiet people are often misjudge. *** I got home and apparently, my parents arrived before me. I entered the sitting room and I saw we had guests. Mr Fayemi and his wife have been friends with my parents for as long as I can remember. They have two children who are both girls- Sarah and Kemi. I always wondered how both sisters could be from the same parents and look absolutely unalike. Sarah should probably be 18, I'm same age with her sister who is 20. Sarah is beautiful in every way which is a sharp contrast to her sister. "Alvin, how are you"- Mr Fayemi "Fine sir"-I replied and greeted everyone in the room. My dad and mom didn't respond. I understand that they were angry being they didn't see me at church. "Sarah will be joining you in Uniben when you guys resume. She got accepted into dentistry"- My dad. "of course, I had no doubt she'll get in. she's a scholar" - I replied while turning to Sarah to congratulate her. Her elder sister Kemi is also in Uniben studying Accounting. We're both in our 3rd year but we hardly see or speak at school. I'm studying pharmacy. And for the last 12 months, I had begun to hate school. Or should I say… life in general. "I assume Kemi must have told you all about Uniben. So I guess I don't have much advice to offer. Anyway, best of luck" - I said to Sarah while I tried to head for my room. I had spent the last 45 minutes being lectured by her father on how I must take my church life seriously. The whole talk about religion was already getting too long for me to stand and I did everything possible to signal that I had mentally zoned out. To make matters more unbearable for me, my parents served me their own fiery on the need to belong to a fellowship at school. I nodded at every word and honestly did listen until I was eventually allowed to leave. "Can I get some of your 100 level materials? I heard all sciences basically does the same courses in 100 level. I just wanna keep busy before resumption." - Sarah. "umm, am not sure they'd be effective for your use… Those 100 level books get revised every session and it's been roughly three years already. Just wait for resumption and buy your books" - I replied * In earnest that wasn't the reply I intended to give. The books are in my room and I didn't want her to come. I just wanted to recline to my bed and regain my clarity after the long conversation with my parents and Mr Fayemi. "If you are not using those books, Sarah should have them. She just wants to get acquainted with the courses before resumption. You don't have to be a hog about it" - My mom said while holding Sarah's hands to my room. *** "Philosophy and Logic… why in heaven's name do universities make philosophy a compulsory course for freshers? That is like an open combat against religion. The course should be made optional instead." - Sarah said while ransacking through my shelf. *I had been on my computer the moment I got inside my room and I hadn't given it a thought that she was in my room. "Am not surprised you think so. After all you were indoctrinated into religion and sectarianism right from birth. You mind has been blocked to logical reasoning and you see rational common sense as a threat to your beliefs." - I replied without looking at her. "What are you saying, Alvin? Are you trying to justify people who say there's no God? Are you saying the university is right to compel people to take a course that propagates such heresy? No wonder you're not as committed to church as you used to be." - Sarah *I turned away from my computer and faced her. "Look, the job of the university is to help enlighten your mind and make you champion of your own thoughts. Being a fresher, the university is aware that you might have been introduced to various cultural and psychological beliefs. It's difficult to blend with a fresh environment and absorb new knowledge when your mind isn't objective. Also, as a freshman, the university assumes you're still in your teens or early 20s. This is the age where people quest to find the meaning of life and how to live. That's why the university introduces philosophy. Philosophy then tries to help you answer these questions on your own by making your mind open to logical reasoning. Without interference from norms or traditions." *Sarah slightly tilted her head to the right and gave me a smirk look* "That doesn't nullify the fact that philosophy propagates atheism. And you speak like an atheist" - Sarah . *I smiled* "I'm not an atheist… and contrary to your preconceived notion, the philosophy you'll do in 100 level doesn't in anyway attack religion neither does it really entail much. You'll simply be studying crumps of history and a few philosophers. Just basic stuff. You'll actually like it." - I said while heading to the restroom. *Sarah and I are friends. Am more familiar with her than her elder sister. I've always thought she was too smart for her age and I particularly admired her maturity and confidence. She's pretty, intelligent and has a smooth brown skin that you could almost see your reflection when you stare at it. I was already having ideas. *I came out of the bathroom and asked…. "Do you have a boyfriend?" To be continued. Lekins. A. 1 Like |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by LekinsRibirth(m): 9:33pm On Jun 17, 2018 |
EPISODE 2 ________ "… There are various ways of preventing HIV apart from total abstinence. Although they are not 100% safe, science has made laudable efforts to curb the virus. One of which is the introduction of Pre-exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP). These medicines can reduce your chances of contracting the virus." I said to Nonso who was overly worried about the sexual experience he had with an unknown lady he met online some days back. *Chinonso is a friend of mine from my department at school. His parents are very rich but you'd never know if you weren't close to them. They are humble and somewhat selfish. The relationship between selfishness and riches always baffle me. "Everything happened so fast but we didn't do the main thing." - Nonso. "what do you mean you didn't do the main thing? Am I supposed to believe that?" - I replied. "I swear Alvin, there was no penetration. She only gave me an oral and that was it. I just hope I don't contract anything from this."- Nonso said "Well, MouthAction is not totally safe especially if she probably had some cuts in her mouth or gum. But the likelihood of that being the case is too slim to even consider. Honestly, you have nothing to worry about if really you're telling me the truth." - I replied while moving towards the fridge to get a drink. *My words didn't seem to elude the worries from Nonso's countenance. The guy is quite loosed with girls and his wealth made it easy for him to get laid. He doesn't fail to fill me in with all his sexual experiences. I always wonder why he does that. Probably he thinks am having the same actions as well. Or probably because I appear to be theoretically knowledgeable when it comes to sex matters. If only he knew that I have no idea what sexual intercourse felt like. I've never told anyone that I'm a virgin. With my kind of looks, I doubt they'd believe. *I and Nonso spent the next couple of hours talking about random stuff. We always spoke at length whenever he comes to visit me in Lagos during the holidays. He lives in Benin and this time he'll be spending the weekend at my place to attend a leadership conference he applied for here in Lagos. *** The day before Nonso was to return back to Benin, we got tired of staying home and we decided to head over to a deli to grab some sandwich. We looked for a good seat and delved into eating. "How long have you been coming to this place?"- Nonso asked looking a bit serious. "Two years. Why you asking?" -I replied. "What do you use your eyes for?" - Nonso *I scoffed at his question and I was a little confused as to why he was asking me a rather silly question "I use my eyes to transfer light waves to the back of my retina thereby sending a signal to my brain making it possible for me to register and identify colours, shapes and figures." - I replied hoping my answer would put him off. "No wonder you couldn't see that that waitress at the counter had her eyes all over you. That chick likes you, dude." - Nonso said while slightly pointing to the waitress. "you've got to be kidding me. The young lady is simply good at her job. Her job description requires that she smiles and acts homily towards customers. She probably does that to everyone." - I replied shaking my head. "Are you just acting innocent or are you naturally dumb? Look, Alvin, I bet that girl won't think twice to give you are number. c'mon man! You disappointing me. She's not busy right now, go over there and say something" - Nonso "Am not interested. And it's beginning to piss me off as to why our discussions always revolve around girls. Am not like you who meets every random girl and get laid. I have principles." -I replied. *I could see that Nonso felt insulted and I know he was crafting a reply that would serve me his displeasure at my response. "You know what, I think it's all making sense now. You can't approach a girl. That’s the reason you don't attend all the parties we invite you to school." - Nonso . *I didn't reply. "It's not difficult. The key is to realise that girls are humans too. They're not demi gods. Just be cool and be yourself. Alright? We can practise right now. That waitress should be easy, she likes you already. Just step over there, smile and try to strike a short convo with her. Then ask for her contact." *I stood up immediately, headed for the counter and paid for my food. I didn't take into thoughts all the yapping of Nonso. After paying for my food, I dashed out from the deli leaving Nonso dumbfounded by my reaction. *on my way out, I observed someone was walking briskly towards me. That was obviously Nonso, I thought to myself. "Excuse me, you forgot your change." That wasn't Nonso's voice, rather it was a soft feminine voice. I turned back and saw the waitress stretching her hands to pass me my change. "Oh! Thanks a lot. But I intentionally left it. Your services are nice and I want you to keep the change."- I replied giving a brief smile. *The waitress smiled back while Nonso walked passed us acting like he doesn't know me. The guy was definitely taken aback at the way I left him. "Thanks but I can't accept this. It's too much for a tip."- The waitress replied while stretching forth her hands to give me the change. "Are you seriously rejecting free money? I want you to have it, it's not a big deal. I've constantly patronised this food court whenever I visit from school and you've been the best waitress I've seen here. Take it as a little appreciation"- I replied "Sir, thanks a lot. If you really do enjoy our meals, kindly recommend us to your friends and acquaintances and We'd be the one appreciating you. But nonetheless, I can't accept your tip. But I really do appreciate your gesture. You're very nice." - She replied clinging the money to my palm while turning to leave. *I was a little bit muzzled and there was something different about her that isn't common among convectional average waitresses. Her eloquence and diction were impeccable. Her mannerism depicts someone who is well schooled and enlightened. I found myself walking swiftly towards her. I've never run after a girl before and it felt as though I was acting on male impulse. "Excuse me, please. Wait a sec."- I said while she turned back waiting for me to explain why I had stopped her from returning to her duty post. *I stared into her eyes and I couldn't remember why I stopped her in the first place. There was an awkward silence and I could feel shyness building up from my feet. "Am kind of in the middle of work and really need to return to my post. If you have anything to say, you might wanna do that fast." - she said politely "umm... Yeah sorry… umm… okay… thanks for returning the change….umm… The thing is, I haven't seen you here before… you're obviously a new staff. Right?" - I replied trying not to stutter. *she probably could see my discomposure. Or probably not. I have a way of faking confidence but am not sure I was doing a good job this time. "well, am not entirely a staff. My dad owns the place so basically am here to render the help I can. Been home for a month and boredom has been driving me insane." - she replied "oh! Now I get it… but you guys have been here for over two years and I've never seen you around." - I replied smiling "I don't live here. It's summer and I decided to spend my vacation with my dad… so here I am"- She replied. "Okay, I presume you're a student and you school in some other state, uh?" - I replied. "Yeah, you got that right. I school in a community college in Tennessee"- waitress. "That explains your accent. You attend school in America. That’s really lovely. May I kindly know your name?" - I replied smiling. "My name is Tamar… and I'll have to apologise but I have to go now!"- she replied walking away. "Can I please get your number?" - I said walking towards her. *she turned, looking rather serious and…………………………..* |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by samyot(m): 10:16pm On Jun 17, 2018 |
I'm surprised you have over 160 views and no comments. I see a good story coming up. N I intend to follow if it's consistent. Keep 'em coming. You've started well. |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by Ayomideen(m): 1:23am On Jun 18, 2018 |
Cool story Definitely following |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by oloyedprince1(m): 8:10am On Jun 18, 2018 |
cool story bro, following |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by isaiah4life(m): 9:14am On Jun 18, 2018 |
guy u re too gud. lovely piece and good use of dictions. |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by CivilzedTyger(m): 11:08am On Jun 18, 2018 |
I'm on your trail nigga. Just don't disappoint |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by LekinsRibirth(m): 1:29pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
EPISODE 3 ________ Nonso wasn't talking to me and I know it was as a result of the way I behaved at the deli. I had angrily stormed out of the place in a manner he wasn't expecting. He arrived home before me and looked uninterested to know about my conversation with Tamar, who also disclosed that her traditional name was Oluchi. She's Igbo. Nonso was leaving for Benin the next day and I wasn't ready to make his stay in Lagos end in a sour note. I decided to break the ice of silence and try to engage him in a soft conversation. I tried bringing up random conversational topics but he seemed uninterested. "Alvin, I'm not one bit interested in whatsoever you're saying. If you want to grab my attention, tell me what I wanna hear. How did your chat with the waitress go" - Nonso said raising one of his eyebrows. *I laughed at his statement. "so all this while you were forming like you didn't care. I know you've been itching to know what's up with that girl" - I replied while throwing a pillow at him. "Anyway, she's a half cast. Her mom is from the USA and her dad is from here and he owns the place we ate. She schools oversee and she's just here for summer vacation. Her name is Tamar by the way" - I said. "Honestly, I had the impression she was too sophisticated to be working as a waitress. So was I right or not? Was she into you?" - Nonso "Well, I don't think so. She refused to give me her number." - I replied shaking my head. "Of course she won't! and it's quite understandable. She wouldn't want to give a random stranger her digits. And from the way you acted towards me at the deli, she probably assumed you're a jerk." - Nonso replied standing up to arrange his clothes "Honestly, the only reason I got a bit interested in her was because of her accent. But nonetheless, she said she'll consider giving me her number if she sees me some other time." - I replied. *I was about going into more details of my conversation with Tamar when my dad called me to scan a document for him.* **** I'm naturally a night owl and I've constantly battled with insomnia for the last two years due to the rigorous workload of the course am studying. Pharmacy covers a great deal of information which you're required to perfect in a short span of time. For this reason, cramming is inevitable if you're not planning to fail. Some of my colleagues study for 8 hours straight and the size of their eye bags would make you think they drowned twice. However, I wish cramming and school work was actually the main reason I always stayed awake late till 2 AM most days. But in the spirit of honesty, I love scouring the net late into the night. For one reason the internet is much faster and more importantly, you're less likely to get caught when you're up on some illicit stuff. I was going through some fashion designs on my laptop when I received a notification message on my phone from Facebook. Nonso and everyone in the house were all fast asleep by now. I checked the notif and it was from a random person I didn't even know. Facebook has a way of keeping you glued to their platform by showing you feeds that are of interest to you. They have a sophisticated algorithm that tracks and keep tab of almost everything you do online. They collect cached data from websites you visit and show you suggestions based on your demographics and location. *The notification I received made me abandon the fashion collection I was designing on my computer. I kept scrolling through my feed viewing series of comedy skits and funny photos. I scrolled down to that point where Facebook usually suggests "People you may know". A particular profile stood out bearing the name "Tamar O. Nnamdi". The profile had no display photo and contained as little information as possible. By now you should assume I was already having thoughts that this might be the waitress I met at the deli. But it could also be anyone. I particularly don't accept friend requests from people without a profile photo and whose profile names bears "Itz", "I am.." , "miss" etc. I consider it childish. Sending such folks a friend request isn't something I consider doing. But this was a situation that deserves a bit of consideration. This mysterious person could be the cute waitress I met earlier. I decided to take the risk and send the request. *It was about 45 minutes since I had discarded my fruitless surf on Facebook. At this point, it was already 3:35 AM and sleep was already luring me into its embrace. I wasn't ready to struggle. I went to the kitchen to get a glass of slightly warm water and then decided to reline to my bed. I always do this before I sleep. Studies have shown that warm water helps the body detox and keep hormones, energy levels and muscles relax. While asleep, water has the time to reach every part of the body and fully replenish it thereby making one feel rejuvenated in the morning no matter how little they slept during the night. # I was on my bed, already hypnagogic when I received a message beep from Facebook. "Shit! What dumbass is beeping me by this time?" - I muttered as the beep shook me off from hypnagogia. I hissed at myself for not turning off my data before retiring for bed. *I stretched to get my phone from the mini table adjacent to my wardrobe so I could turn off the data and get back to sleep. "Hi Alvin" *The sight of the Facebook message immediately slapped sleep out of my eyes when I saw who it was from. "Hello there… just for clarity sakes, Are you the Tamar I met yesterday? " - I replied laying on my bed. "Umm… I'm not entirely sure. Can you kindly describe who you saw?" - Tamar O. "Well, she had the most incredible smile that could spark up a pair of electrodes without using battery cells. Her accent is flawless and her cheerful demeanour can make a gloomy day seem bright. " - I replied hoping she wouldn't give a monosyllabic response like the many shallow girls on Facebook who doesn't know how to hold a conversation online. #...........Tamar O. is typing ………..# - I kept staring at the phone screen and I was already losing interest as a result of waiting. I was wondering what nonsense she was typing that was already taking more than 15 minutes. I considered sending her another message to verify if she's still conscious on the other side of the phone. But I banished the thought. I didn’t want to seem too desperate for her reply. Besides, it was already too late to be chatting at that time of the day. She probably might have fallen asleep. *I was about logging out when another beep came in. "Sorry, my reply is coming quite late. For a moment there I lost signal. Crappy Glo network! I'm sure you understand. " - Tamar O. *I replied with a thumbs up emoji* "Alvin, you seem like a really funny guy which is quite contrary to the nervous dude I met at the deli yesterday. " - Tamar O. "Lol… nervous? Was it really that obvious?" - I replied. "For all I know, I might not be the Tamar you saw yesterday. I know for certain that I don't spark up electrodes. That sounds like the fictional supervillain Tobias Whale. lol" - Tamar O. "lol… I see you're into comics. That's great! But right now I really do wanna know whom I'm speaking with." - I replied with sleep fully suppressed. "umm... Okay... Lemme send you a photo of me… probably that might help. But just for safety reasons, Hope you're up to 18." - Tamar O. |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by LekinsRibirth(m): 1:30pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
samyot:Thanks a lot, bro. |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by LekinsRibirth(m): 1:31pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
Ayomideen:Big thanks! |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by LekinsRibirth(m): 1:32pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
oloyedprince1:Thank you. |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by LekinsRibirth(m): 1:32pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
isaiah4life:Thanks a lot for the comment. I really do appreciate. |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by LekinsRibirth(m): 1:34pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
CivilzedTyger:I'm around... thanks. 1 Like |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by aprilwise(m): 2:16pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
Lemme take a space here to . nice one . pls more |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by LekinsRibirth(m): 2:57pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
aprilwise:Thanks |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by eazykolobo(m): 3:07pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
episode 4 plz.....great piece....kudos to u man |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by eazykolobo(m): 3:09pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
LekinsRibirth:biko drop next episode pls.....waiting patiently |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by sabbiboi: 6:07pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
Am glued like super glue. NEXT |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by Nobody: 6:21pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
![]() how much is lo in ur area ?? |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by kingswaydavid: 11:06pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
i cant Go ghost mode on this thread.....sabbiboi..eazykolobo abg bros make una adjust i wan siddan |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by NidaxJ(m): 12:30pm On Jun 19, 2018 |
Nice write up... Next update please |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by Marvel1214(m): 3:09pm On Jun 19, 2018 |
Wow! Nice write-up gee. Thumbs up. Pls, we dey wait for the next episode oo. I'll love to follow you up bro, Ill 'need your fb nick if possible. |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by LekinsRibirth(m): 5:09pm On Jun 19, 2018 |
Update coming up shortly guys... I appreciate your comments. Big thanks! |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by LekinsRibirth(m): 9:18pm On Jun 19, 2018 |
EPISODE 4 ________ **There was tension in the hall as everyone was waiting for the person who supposedly stole someone's phone to turn himself in. It was a rather funny experience for me as I sat and looked excitedly at the preacher who was threatening fire and brimstone on the culprit who refuses to return the phone. As you might have known by now, I'm not entirely bent on religion. I've always been a misfit when it comes to things pertaining to church stuff. I was kicked out of the ushering department for having a brawl with a church member who refused to sit at the spot I had designated for him. The man came late and because he felt he was rich, he expected me to sit up a young teenager and make space for him in the front row. Screw you! Rich or poor, it's a church; the same rules should apply to everyone and there should be no special treatments. "if you wanna sit at the front, you should spend less time snoring in bed and get your ass to church on time!". That was my statement to the man and obviously my last service as an usher. No regrets at all. **It was after the offering that the minister made the announcement that a church member's iPhone7 was missing. There were muttering and side-talks around the church hall which is a typical reaction common among Nigerians. Everyone kept wondering how someone managed to steal an iPhone right in church. How? Apparently, it turned out that the owner of the phone happened to be a young girl who should be in her early 20s, was charging the phone by a socket close to her pew. Obviously, the thief was waiting for the regular offering session when everyone moved in organised lines to drop their seed in a basket close to the altar. It was perfect timing and the thief knew exactly when to make his move. The young lady was looking disoriented as she was hoping desperately that the culprit would have a change of heart and do the needful. The minister tried various techniques he could to speak to the heart of the culprit but nothing seemed to inspire much progress. Just when I thought the minister had exhausted his cards, he came up with my personal favourite sermon… "fire and brimstone". I enjoy listening to ministers when they threaten people with hell thinking that such messages could actually change someone's heart towards sin. From the beginning of creation up to the present age, fear has never inspired lasting change. Only love can change a man's heart. *I watched in astonishment as the minister summoned thunder and ballistic missiles on the culprit if he doesn't turn in the phone within 30 minutes. *I laughed and I could see the displeasure on my mom's face when she heard me chuckle.* "you're so inconsiderate… how can you be laughing when someone's phone is missing. What exactly is wrong with you?" - My mom said silently. "Mommy, unlike the larger population of folks in this auditorium who have closed their minds to logical reasoning, I choose to remain objective. I'm a realist and I have nothing to apologise about that. Threatening a thief about hell is like promising the devil candy. It's utterly useless!" - I replied covering my mouth with a pamphlet. " Oga Mr know-it-all, so what do you suggest should be done?" - My mom asked. "It's quite simple…The young lady should get a new maga because the old one won't be foolish enough to get her an iPhone7 twice. The stolen phone obviously won't be recovered, at least not in this manner." *My mom shook her head trying to hide her laughter at my statement. "You need deliverance this boy!" - My mom said pinching me. ***** It was about 7:30 PM and I was already running out of patience from waiting for the last 45 minutes for my date. Probably she's running late as a result of the irksome traffic accustomed to Lagos roads. Or it could be that she decided to stand me up. After a rather funny Wednesday's service I experienced earlier that saw the disappearance of an Iphone7, I was certain that my hangout with my date would crown my day with a perfect ending. After service ended at 6 PM, I requested an Uber to take me to a little fancy restaurant my date and I had agreed to meet. The place was really cool and I glanced through at the menu to survey the price list. N3,500 for chicken ribs. This girl thinks am some kind of yahoo boy or something. I took out my phone and messaged her to know her whereabouts and she replied almost instantly assuring me she'll arrive in 5 minutes. *While I was waiting, I began to reminisce about the last time I was on a date with a girl. It was exactly 5 months ago. We met on an online science forum and we took our conversation to Whatsapp where we began talking frequently. I found her interesting and particularly admired her knowledge about The Big Bang Theory. She had insights I hadn't unmasked even after reading the works of Alexander Friedmann, Georges Lamaire, Einstein, Hubble and the likes who had spent their lives developing The Big Bang hypothesis. We kept talking for months until we eventually agreed to meet. On that particular day, my dressing was impeccable and it would take no effort for someone to identify me as a gentleman with the way I was dressed. I went through that extra length thinking for the first time I would be meeting a girl who portrayed great mental enlightenment unlike most who hinge their self-esteem on social media likes. On arriving at the restaurant, I was surprised to see that she had arrived before me. More so, she was sitting with a girl and a guy. I thought she probably met them at the restaurant and struck a chat with them while waiting for me. But to my bewilderment, she said the dude and girl were both her friends who innocently accompanied her in case she had to return home late. She gave a fatuous explanation of her area being not too safe at night. I was cool. Basically, I've read about such incidents happening where a girl comes with her girlfriends to a date. But in my entire life, I've never seen or heard where a girl comes with a GUY to date! I warmly welcomed the circumstance and was looking forward to having another fun experience to tell my friends. We ordered some food and to my surprise, we all had a good chat along the course of the meal. I enjoyed the conversation as we spoke about nerdy topics pertaining to evolution, string theory and cosmology. But everything went sour when it was time to pay for the meal. I thought probably my date's male friend would offer to pay for one of the girls. At least the awkward situation could fly in as a double date. But as it appeared to be, the ddude wasn't having same thoughts. They had apparently agreed that I'll foot the entire bill. I got the signal and smiled. I brought our my wallet and paid for myself and my date's female friend. They were looking confused staring at me. "What about us?... Aren't you gonna pay for me? I'm your actual date remember?" - my date asked. "First of all, it was an error on your part bringing your friends to our outing without pre-informing me. And you also brought a guy expecting me to also foot his bills as well? Are you fvvv kidding me? I'm paying for your female friend instead of you because you're shallow and your friend is cuter than you." - I replied and stormed out of the building. *** *** I felt a tap me on my left shoulder and I immediately regained consciousness from my thoughts. My date had arrived exactly 5 minutes as she had said she would. It turned out that she was held up in traffic. She was putting on a black short gown with a silver coloured purse. The dark colour of her dress radiated her fair complexion and her slight hills added grace to her perfectly straight legs. Her hair was packed and her face revealed slight makeup. She's a natural beauty and I wasn't the only one who noticed as I observed series of stares flashing to our direction. "Alvin, I'm so sorry for keeping you waiting" - my date said remorsefully. "No problem Deborah… the beauty staring back at me this very moment is more than worthy of my time. If I had to go through the wait all over again just to get a glimpse of this enchanting smile of yours, I'd do it." - I replied smiling. #Deborah is the friend who accompanied the chick I had a date with 5 months ago. She's the one I paid for instead of my actual date who came with Deborah and the other guy.# *Basically, I and Deborah pretty much kicked things off after the incident. I received a friend request from her on Facebook that evening and she told me she respected the reason why I acted the way I did and apologised for agreeing to her friend who apparently saw me as a mugu. "This place is really nice… It's actually my first time being here and I particularly chose it because of you. They sell the best chicken ribs and I know your obsession with chicken" - Deborah "That's so lovely … Thanks dear" - I replied smiling. "I was not quite certain if you'd wanna go on a date with me due to the situation of how we initially met… But here you are" - Deborah said chuckling. *we both laughed* "Anyway, the treat is on me tonight. You took care of my bills the other day and it's my turn to return the gesture." - Deborah said. "No way! You've got to be kidding me… you know I won't allow you do that" - I replied with a serious expression on my face. "You have no choice pretty boy. I was the one who invited you here… it's my decision, not yours." - Deborah # Honestly, if this girl was a psychic, she'd see that I was already developing premature feelings for her. *We were about ordering for food when I received a text message from Tamar… "Alvin, please I need to see you right now. Where can we meet? It's urgent. Tamar." ____________ …. To be continued. |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by hardeygbolar(m): 10:59pm On Jun 19, 2018 |
Nice story man! |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by LekinsRibirth(m): 11:35pm On Jun 19, 2018 |
hardeygbolar: Thanks |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by LekinsRibirth(m): 11:36pm On Jun 19, 2018 |
Marvel1214: Thanks brov |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by oloyedprince1(m): 9:06am On Jun 20, 2018 |
nice writeup bro, following bumper to bumper |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by NidaxJ(m): 11:11am On Jun 20, 2018 |
Nice story you gat here..... Thumbs up |
Re: The Life I Didn't Want To Live - Diaries Of A Virgin Boy by Fisher400: 6:57pm On Jun 21, 2018 |
Hmm nice |
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