Why do I have a feeling that this story is incomplete?

@OP, is there something you are leaving out?

In any case, there are too many strange marriages in Nigeria these days, else, how could one rationalize this man's action here.

What type of a psycho would do such thing?

[size=8pt]nobody seems to know the man's reason or fear yet we are judging him. how rational are we?[/size]

afulstop:

Hi Nlanders,need your candid opinion/advice on this. My friend has a wedding to attend in new york in
august so she applied for a B2 visa to the u.s. She filled the online forms naturally and secured an appointment for her interview on the 21st of june. A couple of days ago while lookin through her email box she found a letter in the drafts folder. The letter was addressed to the us embassy lagos,the letter stated my friends visa application number and passport number .The letter also stated that the applicant is a fraud and if granted the visa will not return to her spouse.in shock my friend confronted her hubby cos he's the only other person apart from her that knows her email password.To her utter dismay, the guy admitted he had written the letter cos he did not want her to travel and left it in the drafts so she could see it adding that he had warned her not to apply in the first place but that she did not listen. Here is a man who travels to the states a couple of times a year on B1/B2 visa and his wife never complains or tells him not to go! My friend is thinking of going for the interview all the same saying that she can always use the visa some other time if not for the wedding she has to attend.I'm sayin she shouldn't attend the interview cos the embassy might act on the blackmail letter and deny her the visa. What do u think guys?

   The US embassy will definitely act on the piece of information, and will take into account that there is something questionable about the applicant, therefore, it's definitely a refusal.
   Let the lady contact the embassy and cancel the application explaining that she understands that she's just been blackmailed. And now, contrary to your imagination that "she can always use the visa for some other time", except she is (for unforeseen reason) given a multi entry visa, she might not be able to enter the US especially when there's a change in the circumstance in which the visa was issued: But mind you, this is a more serious matter than we comprehend; the lady's name is now on red alert, and this might result in the embassy having the lady permanently banned (for life) from entering the USA.

Unfreakingacceptable!!!!!!!! The damage has been done but she should still see if there's a way she could explain the situation to the embassy. And yes leave the a**h*le. That's not a husband or a marriage to be in. If he could pull this kind of shyte imagine what he's capable of. That's how things start gng downhill. She's seen signs of what kind of man he is. Leave now!!! I know I might be jumping shark now but leave before the gng gets tough.

As my girl Whitney Houston sang " I'll rather be alone than unhappy". And she knows what she's talking about too.

afulstop:

@ all my Nlanders:thanks again people for your responses!@Buzugee:It is not a twisted question o! This really is happening to my friend o!We r both billed to attend this wedding of a former uni classmate in nyc in august o!, I'm feeling so unhappy at the moment cos we've been planning the trip for a bit now.unfortunately,she is the one who needs to get a u.s visa.she is not even the travelling type!! Like most of u Nlanders have noted and also from what I have observed from watching "the interaction" between the couple,dare i say it tht her hubby is certainly a control freak! Apart frm this I can't say tht I know any sort of ongoing/lingering problems tht they might be havin cos I guess thts private.

@poster, I'm I missing something ? Usually, when an email is in the 'draft' folder - it has not been 'sent'.

Her 'b@st@rd' of a husband (and I use the term husband ever so lightly) just wanted her to see the 'draft'.

Tell her to check the 'sent' box to see if any other emails, apart from her own, has been sent to the embassy.

@tru_blu

yeah i agree with you

@OP kidnly do dat now (or maybe ur frind ATCMB)

SHALOM

I presume before anybody pass judgement a couple of things need to be thouroughly check. Though the action of the man to blackmail his wife was wrong and totally unacceptable but we need to know what promted him into such action and his refusal to allow his wife travelling?  Possibly something is fishing or probably lack of trust is seriously under the show or the man is just too selfish, selfcenter and may be one of those who beleives in coward attitude of woman domination but for sure something is wrong somewhere which they both know it well all I will say is they should  sit together and settle the score and have their peace and move on with their family.

By the act of the husband, something beyond one’s believe is fishing.  The wife should take her time to know why her husband did such a thing. Secondly the wife should change her email password or better still open a new email for self only, to prevent future occurrence. She should try and resolve the issue before going for her interview.

This thread is the classic example of why marriage issues should not be resolved in the court of public opinion,

for those who think that the husband is a bully and she should go for the wedding abroad , lets not forget that she is going to come back to the same man after visa interview and stay abroad ( if her intention is to not return , maybe the husband as a reason for his actions)

As long as her intent is to keep her marriage healthy she NEEDS to deal with the intent behind his actions. If not she can galvant anywhere she likes . at the end of the day she married the man has to live with his quirks or choose not to .

Question, did she seek the husband consent before doing that?

This is not strange to me, i feel very sorry for women with such husbands. My sister only sees her passport at immigration whenever they are going on holiday and the husband collects all inc hers and the kids once they have passed immg. She has no idea where they are kept in the house.
Hmmmmmmmmmm There are so many reasons to thank God if one has been blessed with a real man as a husband, this is one of such reasons.

Let her go for the interview and explain herself, im sure they understand such and unlike in our culture they dont believe her husband has to rule her life.

ALL:

I don't think we should conclude easily that this husband is one hell of a person. He possibly has a genuine and constructive reason why his wife should not be at the wedding.

Take for instance if his wife have always talked about a guy she dated (probably in the University) in the past who now resides in the US and would possibly attend the wedding. The husband does not need a soothsayer to know that they (wife and ex) would hook-up and possibly ignite the memory of those old times. You need not be told what would happen between them. It would take a lot of discipline that the guy does not think his wife possesses. This is just a possible scenario.

So, the woman needs to talk with her husband to understand his stance. I do not want to believe that the guy's just unreasonable.

The husband has an american wife in the US which he feared his Local Naija wife might discover.

Marriage is nothing but EXPLOITATION,personal interest there is nothing like love in marriage,thats what the man has applied with her,ask your friend to go for a divorce

What! The relationship is really suffering from lack of trusth.Why would a husband not permit his wife to travel?Or is there something he is not telling us?

@all:hi guys!, here is wot my friend recounted to me o,, she went for her app/interview at the us consul on the 21st june and was granted a visa!she told her hubby out of "too much joy". The nxt day her hubby showed her 2 letters.1) a query letter he wrote the day before to the us embassy telling them they granted tht visa by mistake and should reverse the decision before printing any visa sticker.2)a response frm the embassy asking for the full details of the applicant. Her hubby told her to stop jubilating as she was yet to recv her passport. She picked up her passport frm the vfs office and there was a visa in it!!!she got a 1 month visa annotated with the details of the wedding in nyc!.she is super thrilled and her hubby is probably still in shock(lol).

All's well that ends well

afulstop:

@all:hi guys!, here is wot my friend recounted to me o,, she went for her app/interview at the us consul on the 21st june and was granted a visa!she told her hubby out of "too much joy". The nxt day her hubby showed her 2 letters.1) a query letter he wrote the day before to the us embassy telling them they granted tht visa by mistake and should reverse the decision before printing any visa sticker.2)a response frm the embassy asking for the full details of the applicant. Her hubby told her to stop jubilating as she was yet to recv her passport. She picked up her passport frm the vfs office and there was a visa in it!!!she got a 1 month visa annotated with the details of the wedding in nyc!.she is super thrilled and her hubby is probably still in shock(lol).

   With that allegation report (by her husband) advising the embassy that his wife is a potentially dangerous visitor, i doubt a visa could be issued in such circumstance. Are you sure of this update, did you see the visa, or perhaps the husband never really sent those emails?

afulstop:

She picked up her passport frm the vfs office and there was a visa in it!!!she got a 1 month visa annotated with the details of the wedding in nyc!.she is super thrilled and her hubby is probably still in shock(lol).

Her husband is an i d i o t of the highest order! If she were married to me, that US visa would have been an effort in futility, she would never make the trip or if she's still adamant make it and forget the marriage.

I believe in partnership in marriage, I believe in dialogue, but I also believe one cannot win all of the time thereby listening to voice of reason! Someone has to be the 'captain' of the ship for a smooth sail and in this regard that someone is the head of the family who incidentally is the husband.

As irrational as her husband's action might have been, the fact still remains that for whatever reasons he doesn't want his wife to travel to US or anywhere else for that matter for now. And we are talking about his wife here, and I suppose he has the final say on that if he doesn't know that by now. 'Miss USA' must learn to respect her husband and his wishes if she truly love and trust him.

Hey,i think we shouldnt rush into conclusions