EmpresFIDEL:
please friends i really need your advice. I have been dating him for 5yrs now, we love each other so much . but our genotype is giving us serious issue, we are both As and we don't consider brake up as an option. the pressure on my boyfriend from family and friends is making him want to dissolve the relationship when he still love me deep down and I love him too.. we are just too confuse. I don't want to lose him.

my dear dnt allow luv deceive u .when wahala start luv go clear for yr eyes.move on .dis is Nigeria where all medical expenses r taken care of by its citizens n is nt funny at all.

EmpresFIDEL:
please friends i really need your advice. I have been dating him for 5yrs now, we love each other so much . but our genotype is giving us serious issue, we are both As and we don't consider brake up as an option. the pressure on my boyfriend from family and friends is making him want to dissolve the relationship when he still love me deep down and I love him too.. we are just too confuse. I don't want to lose him.

sometimes I laugh at posts here....you said break up is not an option for you then why are you here seeking advice? Do you expect people to tell you to go ahead and endanger your future kids? Are you sure the stupid love you think you have now will be strong enough to hold you through the storms of caring for an SS? You need your head checked, you sure are not thinking straight right now.
I used to be in this same situation years back, I am 'AS' and had a girlfriend whom was 'SC', a very rare genotype....every wrong things seemed right to me that time as I believed a miracle would happen one day....we ended up breaking up, not because of the genotype but something different....now, I am married with 2 kids and every day I look at my kids and can only ask for a destiny resetting slap for even considering I could have gone on back then because of love!!!! My dear, I dont want to know how strong you think you can be, you will never forgive yourself

CSTR1005:

It is an unnecessary waste of resources.

She should break up with him and be done with it.
Couples break up for far less.

She is just wasting the time she could have used to get someone else.

What if money is not the the problem.
She should break up and lose the opportunity of being happy.

Not so many people get the opportunity of being with the person they really want to be with or end up happy.

Science has made life much easier.

EmpresFIDEL:
it is very difficult.. I have been addicted to him for 5years. so the only thing that want to separate us on this earth is genotype. it's very painfull

as painful as it may be
please save yourself the future stress and tears.

SS is a very bad thing
forget those telling you that it can be outlived
chances are 20%
can you handle the heartbreak of loosing your children in series?

I lost a dear friend of mine in March this year to SS and he was a very young promising man
he was a government worker and around 36-37 years old
the thing drained him physically and financially to the extent that he sold his car for treatment.
Last last he died

stilled pained whenever i remember he's no more because we're really very very close friends more like brothers

Nnamdiojukwu:
So you are still here,you this joy killer are you married?
Five years ago I received same advice from people like you,today my first daughter is two years with AA genotype, Christabel is seven months kicking well....what is wrong with you people,you put your trust in doctors more than God yet on Sunday you dress like say na u holy pass without put God first.
Which church do you even attend cos I am suspecting to be all this hail Mary that don't believed in God but Mary,I am very angry with you for given her that kind of advice.



Faith work wonders even today.
Iam a living testimony, I and my wife are As.
100-25=75.

Thank you sis and God bless you.
You have just increased my faith. I know of people with similar testimonies.

EmpresFIDEL:
please friends i really need your advice. I have been dating him for 5yrs now, we love each other so much . but our genotype is giving us serious issue, we are both As and we don't consider brake up as an option. the pressure on my boyfriend from family and friends is making him want to dissolve the relationship when he still love me deep down and I love him too.. we are just too confuse. I don't want to lose him.

You can do in vitro fertilization and determine the genotype before implanting the foetus. You might not give birth to SS. If you do, you do bone marrow transplant.

I just found out last year that Myself and my wife are AS and all our 4 girls are AS but they never fell sick for one day. They are doing well in life as 3 of them have graduated and working. But we are christians and there were none of this things when we married in 1992. We have other younger couples too in our church who are AS and their children are doing well too.

mabelly:


Well according to biology and science SS don't come in successions. That's is if you get SS now the next baby won't be an SS. So yes flush one fetus and birth the next one.

So what if they come in successions? Flush one fetus and birth the next one? Wow!

please break up and do it yesterday ...you know what I mean ......

IMMEDIATRLY

Hello Nairalanders, Great job y'all doing here!
I haven't posted on this platform for quite a long time and I hope this serve as a piece of suggestion to the fellow who seek advice. First, my intro. I am a physiologist from Nigeria, EMT in New York, and almost done with RN school in New York. With this said, I think I have a little knowledge regarding such topic. My both parent are AS, have 5 siblings and luckily none turned out to SS. My parent defied Genetic laws. It is very volatile to pro ceed with AS unless you have several millions aside for medical emergencies.
I think you both need to look beyond love and tackle this issue with utmost sensitivity so that no child is born to suffer. Few months ago, at my job in NY we had a terrible situation despite the financial stability of my colleague parent, and the medical prowess of medical team here in Staten Island NY. My deceased colleague was SS, he gets attacks every now and then but this very sad one he couldn't make it. He was in early 20s, I'll post a heart touching photo of him and I hope you reconsider your decision. If you decide to go ahead, pls monitor your child from embryo and pls don't allow this baby to be born as SS. You won't be happy seeing SS child go through anguish. RIP TIM

delishpot:



To get pregnant and abort when they spot SS in fetus? You call that a good option? Have you ever been present during scan? Do you know that at a few weeks old tje jeart has started beating and baby is already a formed being? Na so she go dey get bele dey abort up and down ba? Whay if she has a few SS babies before rhe AS one comes along? She will abort them like its nothing ba?

People abort for health complications so is this one. SS is a health issue and complication.

If my memory serves me right, biology states that SS genotype doesn't come in successions. That is If the first is SS the next can't be SS.

Don't know if I am 100% correct with this but science has made life a whole lot easier.

EmpresFIDEL:
please friends i really need your advice. I have been dating him for 5yrs now, we love each other so much . but our genotype is giving us serious issue, we are both As and we don't consider brake up as an option. the pressure on my boyfriend from family and friends is making him want to dissolve the relationship when he still love me deep down and I love him too.. we are just too confuse. I don't want to lose him.

Please, don't mind those telling you about pre-birth tests and aborting the child if the child is SS. Would you consciously kill your own child even in the womb for something that can easily be avoided now?

The best option is to walk away and don't mind those telling you that God is a miracle working God therefore that you should go ahead. God has made it known to you through science that marrying in this circumstance is dangerous and you consciously walk into it expecting God to work a miracle. Is it reasonable at all?

Hmmm its difficult to let go...but sometimes love means letting go..If u go ahead to marry him the marriage may bring u tears everyday that u will curse that love..think of the children, the pain they will go through.. Its not something one can bear...Other option is to marry and adopt children which I doubt u may want to and lastly is "miracle" I have heard God changed situations as this..visit Salvation ministry there is nothing God can't do..but if he decides to keep quite on ur case it means wisdom is saying..go ur separate ways..I understand how difficult and painful it could be to start all over mostly on the woman's part but may His grace bring u through.

charliboy654:

Have heard of checking the genotype of a fetus before its born, if it's ss, you about it, otherwise u leave the baby, cost between 350 to 400k, and this procedure could be done more than once b4 getting the desired genotype.

you abort it abi? Continue.
Instead of telling op how to avoid impending catastrophe by using her head at this early stage. You are here commissioning abortion .

DEPART!! IT IS BETTER TO EXPERIENCE MOMENTARY PAIN NOW THAN HAVING EVERLASTING PAIN. REMEMBER : BROKEN RELATIONSHIP IS BETTER THAN BROKEN MARRIAGE. BE REALISTIC!!! USE YOUR HEAD!!!

EmpresFIDEL:
it is very difficult.. I have been addicted to him for 5years. so the only thing that want to separate us on this earth is genotype. it's very painfull

you can take the option in one of the comments above - check genotype of fetus , and either abort or keep depending on what you find or you can simply adopt kids !

eodavids:


Let me come in hear.

Something must be bonding couples to keep their love alive. It might be the strong decision made with careful thoughts, like this case.

NOTE: when you both decide to marry each other, you should specify the number of kids to give birth to, but it must be minimal.

Chances are: YOU WILL HAVE NON-S S AS WELL AS S S KIDS. BUT IF YOU GETS 3 KIDS, TWO MIGHT BE NORMAL, WITH ONE BEING S S.

SO, MAKE YOUR DECISION. THE BULK STOPS AT YOUR DESK.

Which kind of useless advise is that? I know a couple with 3 children, first two were SS and they have both died! If you have not experienced something, don't advice on it. And each birth is different, the probabilities are not linked.

swiperthefox:
You can do in vitro fertilization and determine the genotype before implanting the foetus. You might not give birth to SS. If you do, you do bone marrow transplant.

Hahahaha the way you guys throw around in vitro, bone marrow transplant, test the fetus, flush the fetus as if they are things you just run into the pharmacy or hospital and do with peanuts. I suggest you ask poster how big her income is.

To be honest, this is not what a young couple should be dealing with at the early stage of their marriage. Poster you may think you can’t live without your boyfriend, trust me you can live a happy, healthy, productive life without him. How do I know? Because I’m living without people I though I’d never be able to breathe without.

EmpresFIDEL:
please friends i really need your advice. I have been dating him for 5yrs now, we love each other so much . but our genotype is giving us serious issue, we are both As and we don't consider brake up as an option. the pressure on my boyfriend from family and friends is making him want to dissolve the relationship when he still love me deep down and I love him too.. we are just too confuse. I don't want to lose him.

Better quit that relationship now since both of u r AS or u will regret it in d later. D stress in taking care sickle cell children r enormous

charliboy654:

Have heard of checking the genotype of a fetus before its born, if it's ss, you about it, otherwise u leave the baby, cost between 350 to 400k, and this procedure could be done more than once b4 getting the desired genotype.

Please find out current rates from reputable clinics... You are talking about millions now.

ROSYL:


So what if they come in successions? Flush one fetus and birth the next one? Wow!

People abort for health related issues. SS is health related. And again, according to the little biology I did back then in school, if SS should come the next is most likely not going to be SS. No way you would have 3 successions of SS.

Please, I'm pleading with you. Don't go ahead. Marrying someone you love is good, but can you go through the stress. I'm talking from experience. Till today, I still look at my neighbours with pity. Hardly do they have rest. They're both AS and out of their 4 children, 3 are SS. If one is sick today, and by the time he's getting up, another one will takeover. If you look at the financial implications, the stress and tge psychological effect, you won't go into it please. I'll advice you don't

mabelly:


People abort for health related issues. SS is health related. And again, according to the little biology I did back then in school, if SS should come the next is most likely not going to be SS. No way you would have 3 successions of SS.

Bullshit! Please let’s hear about the little biology you did in school which says if you have SS, the next is most likely not going to be SS

Again, how could you forget the financial and psychological trauma that come with having SS kids or aborting them as you suggested?

EmpresFIDEL:
please friends i really need your advice. I have been dating him for 5yrs now, we love each other so much . but our genotype is giving us serious issue, we are both As and we don't consider brake up as an option. the pressure on my boyfriend from family and friends is making him want to dissolve the relationship when he still love me deep down and I love him too.. we are just too confuse. I don't want to lose him.

don't allow anyone to gambling with your future, life and happiness with quack advice, just let that nigga go

Though it is hard to face him and goodbye but You just have to say goodbye to save yourself.

EmpresFIDEL:
it is very difficult.. I have been addicted to him for 5years. so the only thing that want to separate us on this earth is genotype. it's very painfull

5yrs is nothing compared to how many years you won't be able to bear watching your child suffer and eventually if he/she dies at young age and you remember that you were advised against getting married to unaself, that is when the real "painful" will dawn on you.

Love conquers all my dear.
There are two things involved,
you either have money or you don't. If you have money( I mean real money), you are fine, if you don't, there are two things involved.

You either quit the relationship or get married. If you get married, there are two things involved. You either have no biological children( get sterilized to be certain) or you do.

If you do have biological children, there are two things involved, you either get lucky and have no SS, or you do.

If you have a hbSS, there is only one thing involved. You will rue the day you marry for love.

You will curse love and your lover who allowed you to marry for love.

You will curse your family and friends who weren't strong enough to stop you from that horrendous path.
You will curse your in-laws for allowing their son to be so stupid.

My dear, it is better to read about SS children that to experience it personally. The true test of love is in saving your partner and kids that future pain. It is the ultimate sacrifice you can make now. And what is love if not sacrifice?

If u go ahead ,u shud both b jailed daz all I av to say..

Do you want to suffer for rest of your life with the children you will bring into the world!

EmpresFIDEL:
it is very difficult.. I have been addicted to him for 5years. so the only thing that want to separate us on this earth is genotype. it's very painfull

because you are addicted to him for 5 years you want to us it to affect you child forever abi

Then prepare to face the consequences.

Don't marry please. If you do, make sure your children are adopted. You can't even start To imagine what being a sickler means. The societal judgement, physical punishments through crisis and developmental growth, the feelings of inadequacies and the Financial burden.

Please dontbring another one to this world. We are still trying to eradicate the population growth of sickle cell infants and it's a fxcking love that is important to you?