Respect55:

U dnt undstnd me. My brother asked the wife to tell that her sis who is on the way to go back to the village dat she didn't discuss her sister coming over with him

And I am asking you if you were the one who shows up at your brothers house and his wife says to him to tell you to go back to where you are coming from because she is not aware won't you open another whinning post here?

Eketem:


Not realistic Sir. Let spouses discuss these things and respect each other. Too much is demanded of women

Thank you Sir.

Respect55:

What is bad is bad. Both families should always be welcomed with same hands. Moreover, there is a kind of atmosphere a wife will crate and she won't even bother herself with cooking most of the time

You just told a story of what your brother did to his sister in law, if your wife do something like that all hell will break loose. Haha. Atmosphere ko...na only woman dey create atmosphere. FYI. A happy wife can do anything for her inlaws. Marry first and watch your wife get insulted for telling your sister to boil yam.

Eketem:


And I am asking you if you were the one who shows up at your brothers house and his wife says to him to tell you to go back to where you are coming from because she is not aware won't you open another whinning post here?

Oh sure he will!!! Screaming to the heavens how women are the scum of the earth

Eketem:


And I am asking you if you were the one who shows up at your brothers house and his wife says to him to tell you to go back to where you are coming from because she is not aware won't you open another whining post here?

I just quoted you Eketem to say that I agree 100% with everything you have posted. If more Nigerians reasoned like you the country will definitely be a better place. Heck I will extend that to the whole of Africa. There is a reason why there is a justice system in every country. Counter-aggression is not the solution to resolving conflicts. Also there needs to be more communication between couples regarding in-laws, because most times it is the woman who bears the burden of catering to the demands of family members who visit the couple.

Wifey beat MIL for messing up the house. Isn't that how some men beat up their wives for allegedly running their mouths?

Is it because their sons, who also double as your sons, are not old enough to fight for their mothers?

Una done see as e dey pain. Very good.
You all should learn anger management.
They can settle the issue in their village meeting.

JoannaSedley:
Thank you Sir.
You just told a story of what your brother did to his sister in law, if your wife do something like that all hell will break loose. Haha. Atmosphere ko...na only woman dey create atmosphere. FYI. A happy wife can do anything for her inlaws. Marry first and watch your wife get insulted for telling your sister to boil yam.

My brother hasn't and can't do that. He understands they both own a home. So if we even want to visit, the wise will be aware. Moreover, I'm not a proponent of all those undue visits. Sometimes, they start asking if I'm running away from them.

Eketem:


And I am asking you if you were the one who shows up at your brothers house and his wife says to him to tell you to go back to where you are coming from because she is not aware won't you open another whinning post here?

If I'm passing by and decide to say hi, it's a different issue. But for one to pack her belongings and try to sneak in without the husband's knowledge is a no no for me.
I don't understand what u mean by 'opening another winning post here'. Let's try to analyse what we have at hand. No direct attack on persons pls.

Eketem:


Not realistic Sir. Let spouses discuss these things and respect each other. Too much is demanded of women

And Less is demanded from men?

JoannaSedley:
Oh sure he will!!! Screaming to the heavens how women are the scum of the earth

Speak for yourself young lady and don't speak negatively about another. You don't know my story ok. I dnt speak ill of ideal women

pocohantas:
Wifey beat MIL for messing up the house. Isn't that how some men beat up their wives for allegedly running their mouths?

Is it because their sons, who also double as your sons, are not old enough to fight for their mothers?

Una done see as e dey pain. Very good.
You all should learn anger management.
They can settle the issue in their village meeting.

I wonder who u feel is at the receiving end of the legal battles

Respect55:

I wonder who u feel is at the receiving end of the legal battles

I don't care, anyone who is so barbaric to beat up another should be at the receiving end.

pocohantas:


I don't care, anyone who is so barbaric to beat up another should be at the receiving end.

Great post

Respect55:

And Less is demanded from men?

What exactly is demanded from men during in laws visits?

A woman is expected to cook and clean after them.

She is expected to smile always even when she is having a bad day

She is expected to tolerate all sorts.

It's too much work.

I cannot imagine having a new baby and putting up with all that

I am happy women are now realising the stupidity in any sort of pretence. Most of these things are caused by poverty sha. If you have a chef, a professional nanny and and we'll to do family members nobody will be discussing these things.

This is why I advise women to work hard have their own money and marry well. I am tired just discussing these silly issues, I cannot imagine how women who put with this " My brothers house crap" or men who need to have in laws drop in unannounced with long list of needs

Eketem:


What exactly is demanded from men during in laws visits?

A woman is expected to cook and clean after them.

She is expected to smile always even when she is having a bad day

She is expected to tolerate all sorts.

It's too much work.

I cannot imagine having a new baby and putting up with all that

I am happy women are now realising the stupidity in any sort of pretence. Most of these things are caused by poverty sha. If you have a chef, a professional nanny and and we'll to do family members nobody will be discussing these things

Are u married?

Respect55:

Are u married?

With kids your age

is abomination in my place d day a woman do DAT to me shes dead cos I will beat sence into her I will beat her DAT she think is better to go to hell or I beat her more. in rooms I just see all this useless small girls DAT manage to got married early talk rubbish d fact u love ur woman dont mean u can dicipline her wen she do wrong. I date a girl d more I beat her she love me and I enjoy her cos she know she do bad and I wont beat her for nothing

Eketem:


With kids your age

Lol. And u think I'm still a teenager?

JoannaSedley:
Nobody is saying she is innocent. It is for the court to decide. She sued her husband for beating her.
It is not even about her beating her mother in law. Court have no idea that that even happened except a suit is filled against her in a court and in this case, who is going to file the suit. The husband or the MIL. Will the evidence of her beating her MIL still be admissible in court?

Both cases can be in motion concurrently. If the MIL sues her for assault then there will be a case in which she is the defendant. It's called a countersuit, I believe.

Respect55:

So ur mum coming over for Omugwo is creating an atmosphere for trouble?
Like they always say, u never can tell till it happens to u
People have bn doing that without issues.
M
On another note, dnt ever feel u have known all about a lady

It could very well be that the MIL is the troublesome party and it could also be that the wife is the belligerent one. We cannot tell. We only have this story to go on.

We should endeavour to be as dispassionate as possible in discussing such matters, despite our biases or what we think the trends are. All mothers are not the same, some are angelic, some are psychotic. Some pick unnecessary fights with their DILs, some do not.

Also, possession of presence of mind is a crucial asset. If this man is found guilty, he has a criminal record. Period. A criminal record is a major stain on any individual who wants to achieve anything of note in life. It doesn't show much wisdom if you allow someone else's actions ruin your name.

Timbuktuo:


It could very well be that the MIL is the troublesome party and it could also be that the wife is the belligerent one. We cannot tell. We only have this story to go on.

We should endeavour to be as dispassionate as possible in discussing such matters, despite our biases or what we think the trends are. All mothers are not the same, some are angelic, some are psychotic. Some pick unnecessary fights with their DILs, some do not.

Also, possession of presence of mind is a crucial asset. If this man is found guilty, he has a criminal record. Period. A criminal record is a major stain on any individual who wants to achieve anything of note in life. It doesn't show much wisdom if you allow someone else's actions ruin your name.

There can't just be any justification for a DIL to lay her hands on her MIL. She should have waited to report to the husband after work hour.
A woman that does it isn't supposed to be under any man's roof. If the man is convicted, she too will.

The family of the woman was here earlier today. From the call the man made when they left, they came to tell him to forget about further legal actions that they have spoken to their daughter who have agreed that the case be settled out of court. But from the way he was sounding, he hasn't wholly accepted that. But it all depends on his people as well who he was calling.

Respect55:
I have been reading many articles about claims that under no circumstances should a man hit his wife/a lady. Good. Read this

At my neighbiurhood, there is this couple who wedded last year. The man works at GTB. His wife recently gave birth and they brought his mum for the Omugo(Igbos should understand).
Last week, he went to work and this woman beat up the mother in law for, according to her 'messing up the house'. She then pushed the woman outside and she was almost naked. I minded my own business-hope u grab.
When the man came back, he was so furious that he returned it to his wife in same proportion. Neighbours were now around and separated them after much pleading.
She picked up the car key, went to police station and made a statement about domestic violence. The case is already in court and the man has vowed that she will leave his home after the case.

Now I want to ask, is he justified here or are you still of the opinion that a man shouldn't hit a lady?
Cc Lalasticlala

His action isn't justifiable.

You shouldn't hit anybody whether man or woman unless you were hit first.

The woman didn't hit him she hit his mom.
The best he could've done is to sue her directly not reporting to Nigerian police.

Yes, reporting such matters to Nigerian police will never yield good results rather they'll mock him.

When I was in Nigeria I've seen a man who was battered by his wife get mocked by the police. Despite all the evidence, the police were calling him weak man and whatever.

Even when you sue, the Nigerian judiciary is very slow in term of delivering judgements.


If a woman or a man hit you first and you hit back, it is justifiable but if you weren't hit first 'you're on your own'.

Cc timbuktuo eketem joannasedley

Elder001:



His action isn't justifiable.

You shouldn't hit anybody whether man or woman unless you were hit first.

The woman didn't hit him she hit his mom.
The best he could've done is to sue her directly not reporting to Nigerian police.

Yes, reporting such matters to Nigerian police will never yield good results rather they'll mock him.

When I was in Nigeria I've seen a man who was battered by his wife get mocked by the police. Despite all the evidence, the police were calling him weak man and whatever.

Even when you sue, the Nigerian judiciary is very slow in term of delivering judgements.


If a woman or a man hit you first and you hit back, it is justifiable but if you weren't hit first 'you're on your own'.

Cc timbuktuo eketem joannasedley

I will forgive you for hitting me but not my mother

The man's family members arrives this evening. From the look of things, they will be hosting the woman's family tomorrow. I dnt know what they want to talk about but will after the meeting. But all doesn't spell well for the woman and this reconcilliatory meeting or so come tomorrow based on how angry the man's kinsmen are. It seems they just want a divorce. I wish they won't althesame. Tomorrow will tell

Respect55:
The man's family members arrives this evening. From the look of things, they will be hosting the woman's family tomorrow. I dnt know what they want to talk about but will after the meeting. But all doesn't spell well for the woman and this reconcilliatory meeting or so come tomorrow based on how angry the man's kinsmen are. It seems they just want a divorce. I wish they won't althesame. Tomorrow will tell

A divorce seems the only logical step from my point of view. For me, there would be no coming back from such an event.

It is just unfortunate that both families failed to reach a consensus towards amending was was wrongly done. As such, the marriage is headed for a divorce.

The man's family are the real proponents of this as they held their ground and posited that a woman who beat up 'their mother' doesn't have a place in their family.

One Friday, they will be heading to the court for peaceful divorce on the ground of irredeemable mistake so they said. It breaks my heart anyway because the woman's family pleaded all to no avail. The woman didn't come because the man said she shouldn't enter his house. So so unfortunate.

Respect55:
It is just unfortunate that both families failed to reach a consensus towards amending was was wrongly done. As such, the marriage is headed for a divorce.

The man's family are the real proponents of this as they held their ground and posited that a woman who beat up 'their mother' doesn't have a place in their family.

One Friday, they will be heading to the court for peaceful divorce on the ground of irredeemable mistake so they said. It breaks my heart anyway because the woman's family pleaded all to no avail. The woman didn't come because the man said she shouldn't enter his house. So so unfortunate.

That woman will find it difficult getting another husband. Of course she will always have a man to screw her, but live with her under the same roof is a no no. The major mistake she made was suing her husband. If she had started pleading immediately after the man beat her, that would have made her appear remorseful.

Ganjafama:
That woman will find it difficult getting another husband. Of course she will always have a man to screw her, but live with her under the same roof is a no no. The major mistake she made was suing her husband. If she had started pleading immediately after the man beat her, that would have made her appear remorseful.

It breaks my heart althesame. They have been living peacefully before now. People here are of the opinion that the devil actually gave them upper cut.

Her family have withdrawn the suit against the man and he said he isn't going to sue her again too.

But then, dey said that divorce is the best option because seeing her will always remind dem of the past. The poor woman is still in the hospital.

Respect55:

It breaks my heart althesame. They have been living peacefully before now. People here are of the opinion that the devil actually gave them upper cut.

Her family have withdrawn the suit against the man and he said he isn't going to sue her again too.

But then, dey said that divorce is the best option because seeing her will always remind dem of the past. The poor woman is still in the hospital.

But to me, the man should not rush to divorce her. They should separate for some time to enable emotions heal.

sisisioge:


Its a well premeditated murder where he painstakingly planned the death of a gf that swindled him and killed his father. Anyways, that's not the gist here, I was just letting you know that if cases of murder are partially won even where evidences are beyond reasonable doubt, how much more a mere case of domestic violence where A beat B because B beat C. Na talk we go talk for there! The Judge has got a mother too, especially when the mama appears in court with her head, arms and legs bandaged in pitiable sight

You need to always sieve out fantasies from realities. Some people have an overactive imagination. I don't know the story you mentioned, but don't be surprised the guy is lying through his teeth, and just saying out his wild fantasies. For all you know, he might just have recently finished his waec and waiting for admission into university.

Respect55:

Move on as how? As a single mum or getting married again? Can u marry a lady who lost her home for beating up her mother in law

Why are you so surprised that she can move on and get married again?
People have married worse.
She's obviously still relatively young, and you say its just a year's marriage?
I'm not supporting her actions btw, but don't be surprised she will move on in totality and remarry. One man's meat is another man's poison, and you also rightly said she has been a peaceful person till the MIL incident.

Respect55:

That's it. So why do people here still feel the woman is innocent because she reported first?

Nobody feels the woman is innocent, as she did wrong by assaulting an elderly person regardless of what she might have done ( in this case, messing up the house. That's a stupid reason to beat anyone, and definitely not a case of self defence)
People are just giving you a different perspective to the matter, and perhaps how things could be handled better.
Like I said earlier, I'm not sorry for the woman but her husband should have reported to the police the assault on his mother.
You know this is a public forum, and you really shouldn't expect everyone to sleep on the same bed and lie same side.
Anger has never helped anyone, and it's better to always be calm, and apply logic to issues. You 'fight' better that way. With the way the states are rising up against domestic violence, if that man is found guilty he could lose a lot of things, his job inclusive. His mother would have wished he never laid his hands on the wife.
He wasn't there when the assault on his mother happened, and it is all heresay to him. It's a different thing if he was there and was trying to prevent assault on his mother, but he wasn't.