FL Gators:

Tell her. Just dont pressure her into making a decision you want to hear.

No matter her decision, try to still be her best friend.


Which is more valuable to you. . . . your friendship now or losing her as a friend after she hears what you have to say.

pro01:

@ topic

I've always maintained that a man and a woman can't be 'just' friends. . .the same way a goat and yam can't be friends. The former will devour the latter at the first opportunity, be it a day later or a decade later - never mind the foolish boyfriends that permit such crap. (yours sincerely has devoured a few friendly yams in the past, lol). Even if the girl has nothing in mind, same can NEVER be said of the guy. Hitting her kitty is ALWAYS at the back of the male friend's mind, he would merely try as implicitly as possible to seduce her and belittle her bf in a subtle but deft manner. In the end, it will happen if Mr. Friend plays his cards right. That is why a small percentage of wise and really good women with old-school common sense (0.01%) avoid this 'male friend' business. And they enjoy peaceful relationships/marriages as a result.

Seduction is always a contact sport. And like poison, it seeps through the body without warning. The only way to avoid the possibility of the goat devouring the yam is to ensure that the former has no physical access to the latter. Otherwise, devouring will remain a possibility. . .only a matter of time. I am talking from extensive experience, with brutal franknes

So @poster, forget her boyfriend, if you play your cards right you will get her for lust or love, whichever inspires your desire. But it is extremely risky and unstrategic to declare your love for her and that you want her to be your gurl. Nah, thats lame. You have to use the most devious and stealthy route: try to seduce her to get 'physical' with you before you then get emotional (if it'll be necessary sef, who needs that). The important thing is that you have unrestrained access to her person, ears and eyes; if you mix the right brew, the access would translate to access to her heart or pants (whichever you are after; personally, I prefer the latter). Don't know how to explain these steps to you but if you know anything about seduction you should be able to figure it out. Goodluck!

odiaero:

everybody is always in luv with their best friend in Nland, Kai, story-story, storyyyyyyyyy

True talk!! 

odiaero:

everybody is always in luv with their best friend in Nland, Kai, story-story, storyyyyyyyyy

Travelista:

What do you value more: your friendship with the girl or getting the chance to be more than friends? She has a boyfriend that, according to you, she cares for and is a 'great' guy. If you truly love her, don't be selfish and let her be happy where she is; being friends isn't the same as being lovers and you run the risk of losing her. Your situation reminds me of a song in "My Fair Lady" (don't judge my love for musicals! ) 'I've Grown Accustomed To Her Face'; it's about love that grows from familiarity and sneaks up on you. I remember being in your position when I was younger (on both ends) and as I got older, it dawned on me that the reason I kept falling for male friends was because we spent so much time together and they accepted me and all my faults without question; it didn't hurt that they could see me in ratty sweats and an old t-shirt and there would be no self-consciousness (on either end) and I could be my true self. Your position is natural, so don't fret.

Now, I'm looking at you wearing each others boxers ( ) and her braiding your hair (double ) and it seems that there's something there. No matter what we women say, we can pick up on when someone has the tiniest of feelings towards us. So, either you friend likes you back and is too afraid to make the first move or she's flirting back because she's being a tease. (Hey, it happens and there isn't always malice behind it; she just may enjoy the attention.) At the end of the day, really think about what you want. You sound young and, if you are, you have tons of time to find a girl; your friend may be the love of your life and she may not be but don't put your life on hold to find out.

Jaidey-one:

i wonder why people can't just voice out their feelings? i don't keep platonic friends. scr***ew friendship. Tell her your feelings. If she's not interested then forget about her. There are 3billion girls out there in the world. U can always find someone better than her.

9jaganja:

Rather uncalled for. I live life without instruction manuals but a basic principle which simply is hurt no one so I'll ignore for real.

My case is different and while people tease me as carpet bunny in high school cause I'm Irish/Nigerian, I was still happy cause I had this friend I can always go to movie with and do things friends do with. I don't know but it's hard to impossibility not to have been friends with her.


Better? I don't know about that though. I'll just let things happen themselves out instead of having to look lame like creamish said. If nothing happens then so be it. I'll rather the feelings eat me alive than lame out a good situation.

Travelista:

Yikes! You really like this girl. *sigh* Tell her how you feel, hun. It must have been tough to have people call you names in school but I'm glad you have her in your corner; whether things work out, I hope you two remain friends because genuine people are harder to come by the older we get.

Sit down and talk with her and let her know how you feel: don't pressure her and let her know that you aren't looking for her to leave her boyfriend (even if you are!); tell her that you just wanted to get some things off your chest. Choose a neutral place like a park or quiet corner in a cafe or something of the like and just have a one on one with her. If you guys are already sharing boxers (I'd love to know what her guy thinks about THAT), you've got a good chance but the path is still strewn with risks.

Reading your responses, I think you know that your friend may have feelings towards you. Don't worry about being 'lame'; lame would be you pining away for her without having said a word. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, my friend. Good luck and I hope things work out for you two.

9jaganja:

Seriously the only way her boy will ever know we share boxers is if she wants to hurt him. The dude is sensitive about me and her already and that alone puts me in a really tight corner cause I have to gain his trust. You know what, I'll tell how I felt when I'm over it or the dude steps up his game cause now they are just dating and nothing serious but she likes him. I can't offer what the guy can in a relationship (I seriously suck in a bad way). Most times I have to be the one to tell her to overlook somethings the guy does and making it easy for him and harder for me. I'll just go see my mum in Vancouver B.C for the rest of the summer and I'm sure I'll get over it by the time I get back.

Travelista:

TALK TO HER!!

Travelista:

TALK TO HER!!

9jaganja:

It's hard sister!! I can't use any of my charms on her like I'll do with a girl I'm hitting on. If there is anything that I know about her it's that she gets confused or twisted easily and hates anything that does that to her. That's why I think I'll let things happen naturally instead of using my chemical imbalance as catalyst (It will mess me and her up).

Travelista:

Fair enough as you know her and I don't but don't leave every thing up to chance. There are somethings that you will have to do yourself to get an outcome that you'd like. It seriously sounds like she likes back; don't let this pass you by without trying.

I'm dating my best friend and have been for over a year now. He would always tell me that he loved me and I would just laugh it off. It wasn't until he sat me down and looked me straight in the eye and repeated himself that I started to see that he was serious. He never once pressured me into a relationship and I know it took a lot for him to put himself on the line (he's terribly sensitive but tries to hide it) but I'm glad he did.