Sorry for the terrible incident my dear. Not all men are responsible. One of the biggest requirements a lady should look out for in a man is whether or not such a man has home training.

In fact, some brethren and sisters can do worst if they lack home training. I am pointing this out to you now so you don't go about making same mistake in another form.

The days are dark, and many of our youths are becoming more and more out of touch with their conscience.

Don't be led by looks. Don't be led by wealth. And don't be deceived by men with sugar coated mouths. Try to be objective in your evaluation of any man that proposes to you.

There's nothing like love is blind. Open all your senses and be practical with your expectations at all times.

And note that virginity is not a condition to getting a committed husband. Try to get yourself over it, and move on.

Herbephe1:


sorry to quote you my sis
here is the truth: They had been dating for some months ,and she had been collecting money from him,you can't just wake up one day and tell your fiancée ( maga) whom you have been collecting money from that "some pastors" said you can't marry him anymore, pls are you going to return the already given money? why couldn't she make consultations before collecting money from him?

Very funny. I thought when genuinely in love you give and not expecting anything in return. You should know dating is quite different from marriage, which is why people ask questions before settling down. I don't think she forcefully took money from him and in the same vein he had no right to forcefully take her virginity. Hope u understand

smileing:
Please I need responsible advice

Many were coming as suitors but I don't know why I let him come closer.

He forcefully took away my pride and I was hurt. He said he did that cos he doesn't want to lose me

I wanted to leave but I couldn't cos I love him.
I don't offer sex cos I'm religious and I believe it's a sin. Told him to wait till marriage but he wouldn't.
for almost a year we ve been courting I didn't allow him touch me.

Till this day he forcefully had sex with me .
He wants to come pay my dowry but I'm not sure that my people will let me marry him. I too went and prayed about him and they told me that he is not my husband (about 5 different people said it)

He is OK, financially, is educated and promising.
But not God-fearing as I wanted.

Now I'm pained for what he did to me .I'm grieved cos I wanted to lose my pride on my wedding night.
and I'm thinking of leaving him cos I'm hurting so much now.

I feel less of myself and sinful too


Please what should I do?


those that married non Virgin how did your spouse take it. I need to know cos it ll help reshaping my mindset

Maybe u need to tell us how he had sex wit you before we can conclude it is rape. Before the sex u loved him more, now after the sex you now discovered some atom of mistrust in him n you are now feeling cheated. Now ds guy is coming for your hand in marriage which I tink shud be d next line of action but if you feel there are things that needs to be corrected in him then you can give him more time to work on himself or you help him out since you still love him. I don't know where this fear is coming from.
And again if u r still thinking he raped u, talk to a counsellor first n immediately.
My advice : if u still love him and you know he loves you too, give yourselves an extra 6months to work on your excesses n if u feel you guys are good to go, den you can proceed to marriage but if not, shit happens. Life offers you another sweet chance..
Nb: Virginity is not a criteria for a healthy marriage, your bad attitude can overshadow it. It only makes you reserve n a woman of dignity. So don't get twisted over it

Lmao!

You prayed to about five people and they told you he's not your husband... Whatever happened to Yahweh

Just report the rape to the police, like someone said earlier.

Only two religious people can marry each other, because they can tolerate themselves. Wey the guy for just find another person, em kon go rape...

Mumu boy

soliq55:



Don't blame yourself. No one deserves to be raped. Even if you walked naked into his house, you don't deserve what happened to you. You should have gone to the police immediately after the act to file a report. They would have directed you to a medical facility where physical exam will be be done and samples collected via a rape kit. Unfortunately it may be too late for that but you should talk to a lawyer to get professional counsel. i strongly think you should talk to someone - a social worker or psychiatrist about this in order to prevent PTSD.

The man is coward.

wats psychiatrist own in dis issue

tomdon:




One man cannot successfully rape a fully clothed lady without injuring her if she doesn't concent. You were compromised. You were actually tempting the poor dude with just rub it on the tip but don't penetrate (your pant was probably somewhere on his chair and you were so wet). Not every guy is a good guy to be so tempted. Blame yourself, then you can start seeing solution.
Stop blaming another for your woe, take responsibility, you never wanted to marry as a virgin if not you will not open your legs and be claiming you didn't concent. You craved that intimacy. You've not even fully decided that he's the one and you went that far. Aunty blame only yourself
I know very well this scenario cos I've been there not once, but I let them go unscathed because my own wife must be a virgin and I already decided I'm not marrying them(not because they're bad, but they're not just my preference) though that's what they wanted from me - marriage
On another note, not every man wants a virgin as wife, so look for such guys. Good luck

Please shut up your silly mouth there! What the heck dude? So a full grown man cannot force a lady wearing a skirt? Which full clothes are you referring to please? The only fault of hers was visiting the animal, but then they were courting which would have led to marriage.

Hmmm Rape, i understand how you feel, you've cried your eyes out, it can't go off your memory, you are cooking, washing, learning, taking ur bath, praying and i'st coming back to your mind, you get a clear veiw of what happened....common sweetheart many girls have fallen victims, majority of women are girls have been in one way or the other sexually harrased. it has happened, what else? your quite righteousness still continues, you are still on GOD'S shoulder, you ain't different now, you are still you...sugar learn to forgive, yeah it's hard to, forgive him...don't listen to certain pastors....he loves you, to have waited for you before the incident....take your time and think.... think about your future, marriage has mistakes, i don't want u to regret it...

victorian:







Lalas247? Wait hows she like?

Beautiful, amazing, undiluted sexy, energetic, adventurous but unforgiving...

Hmmmm..A lot has been said, but one thing is not clear is how and where did he rape you , like one of nairaland said if you don't want sex what are you doing in a dark/ private room with him.

Hence, from on set you would have set your priority straight with him and always meeting in public places or I guest you don't want to lose him for another woman maybe because is rich or handsome.

My advice for you is to search your heart, and ask yourself this vita questions, 1. The he really rape me with out my input, or if he did tensionally is he show repentance heart.

in life we human we are not God to Judge any human been, most of us has committed sin in pass but, God with infinite mercy forgive us, and some of us becoming pastors evening good citizens of a Nation.

I tell you a life story! A lady was told by people and family that the man she seen is not good for her, not her husband, she can't married him and so on and everyone around her kick against it, but guest what, she follow her heart. Only you can deliver your self no matter the prayer if you heart is not ready to be deliver it won't work...what happen many year down the line them man everyone rejected is the bread winner, not only bread win but no1 inlaw in the woman family.

WHAT IS YOUR HEART TELLING YOU??

I rest my case

Do not allow all these heartbroken and good for nothing ladies deceive you. If he is real, please forgive and move on with him. The only reason you are hurt is because its your first time. I know he is very wrong but you can forgive and move on.

Again, you will loose any legal/police action on these because you guys are in relationship already and perhaps, people are aware and can witness for him. Remember he slept with you in his house.

Please do not make yourself a subject of mockery for outsiders, the damage may be too much for you. However, if you have truly hated him, move on and forgive yourself as well as him. I wish, I can talk to you personally as a counselor.

If ur mind have said no to him, why not let go since the incident and rather report him to appropriate authority like human right commission but since u love him is the reason why u maintain relationship with him, according to u, he is financially OK, Well educated and God fearing person, what else do u want from him. stop ur negative thinking, go to ur pastor or Rev father and sick God opinion, he has the final say. Note virginity or no virginity u still remain who u are. nothing have taking away from u.

smileing:
Please I need responsible advice

Many were coming as suitors but I don't know why I let him come closer.

He forcefully took away my pride and I was hurt. He said he did that cos he doesn't want to lose me

I wanted to leave but I couldn't cos I love him.
I don't offer sex cos I'm religious and I believe it's a sin. Told him to wait till marriage but he wouldn't.
for almost a year we ve been courting I didn't allow him touch me.

Till this day he forcefully had sex with me .
He wants to come pay my dowry but I'm not sure that my people will let me marry him. I too went and prayed about him and they told me that he is not my husband (about 5 different people said it)

He is OK, financially, is educated and promising.
But not God-fearing as I wanted.

Now I'm pained for what he did to me .I'm grieved cos I wanted to lose my pride on my wedding night.
and I'm thinking of leaving him cos I'm hurting so much now.

I feel less of myself and sinful too


Please what should I do?


those that married non Virgin how did your spouse take it. I need to know cos it ll help reshaping my mindset

And till this day, you gladly go to him to forcefully have sex with you? wow

vululadilolo:
He raped you to coerce you into marrying him? He violated your body to achieve his "goal" of "keeping" you for himself? Very sick, manipulative and pervert way of thinking!

I would not advise you to marry someone who doesn't respect your boundaries and can commit such a vile act (rape). I would however advise you to seek therapy/counselling/help for what he did to you. Did you report him to the authorities?

If he is raping you now, how do you think he is going to behave when you are going to be married to him? Marital rape exists in case you don't know.
His behaviour ( the rape) shows that he seems to be ready to do anything ( even the worst) to achieve what he wants and doesn't value his partner's opinions/beliefs or feelings. Do you really want to be married to someone like that?

There are ton of people who were not virgins when they got married and are happy in their marriage. Being a virgin (or not) does not guarantee a "good" marriage. Your husband should be interested in you as a person and not just your hymen. You should also bring more than "just" your body in your marriage.

You need to reshape your mind: Your "pride" should be in who you are as woman and not what you can "offer" in bed( Virginity). Your "value" as a person did not/should diminish because of the rape( or even if you had sex voluntarily). That's why I said seek therapy or talk about it to someone you trust.

Don't feel guilty for what happened or not being a "virgin" (easier said than done). Stay strong and good luck in whatever you decide to do!

You just swallowed all she said..just like that...do u know her before?

Based on her narrative, she is a lair.

eelipumpin:
I don't think it's rape. It's one those JUST HAPPENED kinda situations.

Do you know Christ has paid for that sin? The prolong guilt is Satan's stronghold on you.

Righteousness is not our inability to fall but it is our responsibility to rise up when we fall. Christ is our righteousness.

God still sees you as a daughter not a non virgin. He still calls you His own. He still has you in His plan.

Virginity self righteousness really ate u up but this incident should teach you to judge less and value grace.


I wrote all these cuz u said you are Religious.

Don't be hard on your self when God is seeing differently.

Forgive yourself and marry the right Man God has designed for you.

You've learnt your mistakes. He was never a sincere Believer and you knew it.
Just be fine.

what do you mean by you don't think it was rape? that line erased every other thing you wrote.

smileing:
@vululadilolo

thank you so much. I have not reported to anyone yet
hurt, pains and disdain on myself have left me discouraged.

all these while, I have been offering him all I could (companionship, encouragement, emotional support, friendship, spiritual assistance ,inspiration ) except for my body. and he made me love him so much little did I know he would come for my body .

my worth is not based on the hymen but yet I value my chasity.
I'm broken cos I encouraged people to be chaste. who do I talk to. the therapist I tried talking to tried molesting me too

I'm deformed now as I am feeling suicidal
what I built in years just crashed within a twinkling of an eye

Liars everywhere....Always claiming victim. You are 100 percent perfect Abi? Religion is a big disease.

smileing:
Please I need responsible advice

Many were coming as suitors but I don't know why I let him come closer.

He forcefully took away my pride and I was hurt. He said he did that cos he doesn't want to lose me

I wanted to leave but I couldn't cos I love him.
I don't offer sex cos I'm religious and I believe it's a sin. Told him to wait till marriage but he wouldn't.
for almost a year we ve been courting I didn't allow him touch me.

Till this day he forcefully had sex with me .
He wants to come pay my dowry but I'm not sure that my people will let me marry him. I too went and prayed about him and they told me that he is not my husband (about 5 different people said it)

He is OK, financially, is educated and promising.
But not God-fearing as I wanted.

Now I'm pained for what he did to me .I'm grieved cos I wanted to lose my pride on my wedding night.
and I'm thinking of leaving him cos I'm hurting so much now.

I feel less of myself and sinful too


Please what should I do?


those that married non Virgin how did your spouse take it. I need to know cos it ll help reshaping my mindset

Please marry him if you love him.

Honestly this is a very sad story. I understand you wanted to keep your virginity. And the evil cr.etin took it away from you.

That guy does not deserve you, he had no iota of value for you at all. He is very selfish and evil. Kindly end everything with that guy, If you love your life.

The only one that can truly comfort you is God and nothing else. I pray may the God of all comfort, bring true comfort to your being. And may he reward you with a true genuine man that will wipe away your tears.


As for those that talk down on virginity,. It is true that this generation has no value for holy things. But there are people that do. There is no man that won't value a virgin wife. I know a lot of men that still brag with their wife's virginity till this day. So let nobody fool you. Give men the option of marrying a virgin and non virgin and you will see the One they will choose. If you are virgin, better keep it well. Don't mind the comments you read here

smileing:
@vululadilolo

thank you so much. I have not reported to anyone yet
hurt, pains and disdain on myself have left me discouraged.

all these while, I have been offering him all I could (companionship, encouragement, emotional support, friendship, spiritual assistance ,inspiration ) except for my body. and he made me love him so much little did I know he would come for my body .

my worth is not based on the hymen but yet I value my chasity.
I'm broken cos I encouraged people to be chaste. who do I talk to. the therapist I tried talking to tried molesting me too

I'm deformed now as I am feeling suicidal
what I built in years just crashed within a twinkling of an eye

Why did you visit a man in his own house alone ? That is a wrong signal.
Going out to a fast-food restaurant would have been the best. Let the past be in the past and focus more in seeking God for directions to recover.

vululadilolo:
He raped you to coerce you into marrying him? He violated your body to achieve his "goal" of "keeping" you for himself? Very sick, manipulative and pervert way of thinking!

I would not advise you to marry someone who doesn't respect your boundaries and can commit such a vile act (rape). I would however advise you to seek therapy/counselling/help for what he did to you. Did you report him to the authorities?

If he is raping you now, how do you think he is going to behave when you are going to be married to him? Marital rape exists in case you don't know.
His behaviour ( the rape) shows that he seems to be ready to do anything ( even the worst) to achieve what he wants and doesn't value his partner's opinions/beliefs or feelings. Do you really want to be married to someone like that?

There are ton of people who were not virgins when they got married and are happy in their marriage. Being a virgin (or not) does not guarantee a "good" marriage. Your husband should be interested in you as a person and not just your hymen. You should also bring more than "just" your body in your marriage.

You need to reshape your mind: Your "pride" should be in who you are as woman and not what you can "offer" in bed( Virginity). Your "value" as a person did not/should diminish because of the rape( or even if you had sex voluntarily). That's why I said seek therapy or talk about it to someone you trust.

Don't feel guilty for what happened or not being a "virgin" (easier said than done). Stay strong and good luck in whatever you decide to do!

This says it all. However, you must allow yourself to heal. Forgive and try and move on. Don't allow bitterness and anger destroy you. Walk away from the dog in human skin and while you do that be ready for a fight that will follow. A man who raped to marry you will take any desperate measure to keep you. Confide in those who can protect you from him. Pray to God for protection and be prepared for the battle that lies ahead when you choose to leave him. What you have for him can't be love and don't get into marriage to realise that.
May God help you....Amen!

milky200:
Hmmmm..A lot has been said, but one thing is not clear is how and where did he rape you , like one of nairaland said if you don't want sex what are you doing in a dark/ private room with him.

Hence, from on set you would have set your priority straight with him and always meeting in public places or I guest you don't want to lose him for another woman maybe because is rich or handsome.

My advice for you is to search your heart, and ask yourself this vita questions, 1. The he really rape me with out my input, or if he did tensionally is he show repentance heart.

in life we human we are not God to Judge any human been, most of us has committed sin in pass but, God with infinite mercy forgive us, and some of us becoming pastors evening good citizens of a Nation.

I tell you a life story! A lady was told by people and family that the man she seen is not good for her, not her husband, she can't married him and so on and everyone around her kick against it, but guest what, she follow her heart. Only you can deliver your self no matter the prayer if you heart is not ready to be deliver it won't work...what happen many year down the line them man everyone rejected is the bread winner, not only bread win but no1 inlaw in the woman family.

WHAT IS YOUR HEART TELLING YOU??

I rest my case

Well said


@op

For the guy to come if the guy is still disturbing you about getting married to you wanting to meet your family etc then move forward by forgetting the incident .
There is no perfect couple.

If after the rape he stopped communicating with you then you know he only came for the cookie

My wife was the regular church girl...

I pretended to be sick after a year of not touching her and took advantage ( this does not mean I support rape)

While she was crying I was moved to tears and did not know when I told her am getting married to her


It been eight years of wonderful marriage.


I have a friend who I introduced a lady to hoping he will get married to her

My guy came back and told me 5 pastors told him she was not the girl meant for him but rather another girl from same local government area with him whom a mutual friend of ours introduced to him

Finally

He did not marry the girl the pastors said was meant for him

To make matters worse he got the girl pregnant after taking her virginity and got her to abort the baby then chased her out again... Plus other bad stuffs he did to her

Today he is married to someone else.

The nairalander I quoted also gave you an example

I know of others in the same category

Some got married after pastor prayed he or she is the one...


What's hurts most guys ego is when they did not sleep with their ex before the relationship was called off.




So dear

Leave the pastors ...

Work on ur relationship with this guy and see if it will lead to marriage

I wish u all the best

How can a single man rape a woman single handedly

smileing:
Please I need responsible advice

Many were coming as suitors but I don't know why I let him come closer.

He forcefully took away my pride and I was hurt. He said he did that cos he doesn't want to lose me

I wanted to leave but I couldn't cos I love him.
I don't offer sex cos I'm religious and I believe it's a sin. Told him to wait till marriage but he wouldn't.
for almost a year we ve been courting I didn't allow him touch me.

Till this day he forcefully had sex with me .
He wants to come pay my dowry but I'm not sure that my people will let me marry him. I too went and prayed about him and they told me that he is not my husband (about 5 different people said it)

He is OK, financially, is educated and promising.
But not God-fearing as I wanted.

Now I'm pained for what he did to me .I'm grieved cos I wanted to lose my pride on my wedding night.
and I'm thinking of leaving him cos I'm hurting so much now.

I feel less of myself and sinful too


Please what should I do?


those that married non Virgin how did your spouse take it. I need to know cos it ll help reshaping my mindset

I wish this advice get to you... please and please don't listen to those telling you to report him...
NOTE THESE

1. you once love him, I mean you have feelings for him

2. His good to you as you confirmed

3. You said they said his not your husband? Lol this don't always work and every couple always have their own palava.. also due to what you think he has done for you may lead to your conclusion on that

4. You don't want him anymore and you want to move on... right? Get this to your brain... I am about to married and my wife is not a V, I don't care because I see lot of good things in her... what pain most is your future husband or your husband seeing and knowing about the guy who disflower you... so reporting him meaning you want to get popular in bad shape... you will be popular and if it happens he came from a good family or you are not lucky then you will be blame... as you said you don't have any prove aside hymen, meaning he can win the case... what you have said is not a small case... please don't get your self in to trouble and move on with your life

smileing:
Please I need responsible advice

Many were coming as suitors but I don't know why I let him come closer.

He forcefully took away my pride and I was hurt. He said he did that cos he doesn't want to lose me

I wanted to leave but I couldn't cos I love him.
I don't offer sex cos I'm religious and I believe it's a sin. Told him to wait till marriage but he wouldn't.
for almost a year we ve been courting I didn't allow him touch me.

Till this day he forcefully had sex with me .
He wants to come pay my dowry but I'm not sure that my people will let me marry him. I too went and prayed about him and they told me that he is not my husband (about 5 different people said it)

He is OK, financially, is educated and promising.
But not God-fearing as I wanted.

Now I'm pained for what he did to me .I'm grieved cos I wanted to lose my pride on my wedding night.
and I'm thinking of leaving him cos I'm hurting so much now.

I feel less of myself and sinful too


Please what should I do?


those that married non Virgin how did your spouse take it. I need to know cos it ll help reshaping my mindset

I am not going to be soft and pampering on u like most posters, I am going to be hard and real so u can get the message straight.

I love girl child so much but if given the opportunity to select the gender of my future kids, I will select only male and u know why Because to me, female children are too adorable, too vulnerable and too sophisticated for this rugged world and its terrain. I might kill somebody because of my daughter

I have said it countless times that as a lady, if u are not ready to dance shakiti bobo, don't keep any boyfriend. Forget about all those he is different, he is God fearing, he is this and that, I am a guy, I used to be so religious, I used to be pious, and back then when I used to be very religious, holy holy and after chastity, I disliked getting close to ladies. I never had a girlfriend. Many girls tried to be my friend I blatantly refused. Even my female cousins tried to set me up with their pretty friends, they all failed.

I separated myself completely from going close to women because I know it could lead to bad things one cannot predict.

But the problem with ladies is this; they want to eat their cake and still have it. They don't want to have sex, they don't want to have romance or kiss, but they will be keeping boyfriend, collecting gifts from the guy, accepting different types of favours from the guy and still expect the guy never to make sexual advance towards them, how

The moment a guy feels the need to have a girlfriend, the moment a guy feels the desire to walk up to a girl and ask her to be his girlfriend, his first intention is to have sex with her. Don't listen to any cock and bull story anybody else will tell u. I am a guy.

All my childhood friends, when we were trying to be chaste and righteous, we had no girlfriend or female friend. Our relationship with girls or ladies ended only at school or church premises. My mom, my elder sis and my female cousins were my only female friends.

This is how ladies should reason. You don't keep goat and yam together in one room and expect the hungry goat not to eat the yam, that is not possible. Goat and yam don't stay in one room.

You cannot keep a hungry lion and a sheep in one cage and expect the lion to be friendly to the sheep, it will definitely devour the sheep to quench its hunger first.

My point is this; u made a big mistake keeping boyfriend or male friend when u wanted to be completely chaste.

If I have a daughter tomorrow, I will warn her; if u don't want to end up having sex or romance or kissing or even getting raped, don't keep any boyfriend or male friend. They are all the same looking for sex. A guy that is righteous, chaste and trying to be close to his God won't keep a female friend or girlfriend. I have been there, was once there so I speak from experience.

But remember, I am single today out of my past mistake of being too religious and trying to be chaster than chaste itself. It was back then that I was being too holy and chaste that I missed my true lovers. Whenever I remember one particular lady, it still hurts me that I lost her out of my too rigid and too chaste running away from ladies lifestyle then

This girl loved me genuinely, tried to be close by all means but I rejected her not because of any reason but for trying not to fall to sexual temptations. She cried, begged but I never listened to her. They were many back then, I was too religiously foolish to a fault and I am kind of paying for it now by not meeting the right ladies again now that I am fully ready and interested, life.

So be sure u won't regret this your rigidity now later.

Be sure u won't regret pushing this guy away now some years later.

Be sure u won't regret all the good guys u had been pushing away by trying to be too rigid and chaste.

Majority of happily married women u see today married their husbands as non virgins. Virginity is no longer in vogue today when it comes to top qualities men consider in a wife to be. It used to be some decades ago, but not in our present capitalistic world where financial stress and economy recession is the determinant.

Are u financially promising Are u a good money manager, a financial help mate, a good listener, a great companion, can u help him stand if he falls tomorrow, can u train kids happily, can u keep and organize a home without making a fuss out of it Do u have good and promising career, business or trade These are the top qualities men of today consider as top priority to marry a lady no longer virginity. Any guy after a lady's virginity is of questionable character, be wary of such guy or guys.

It is good to marry as a virgin but that does not guarantee that u will marry the best husband or have the best marriage.

I know like 3 or more close friends who married their wives as virgins and these guys were what they call Playboys who deflowered many girls and still they ended up marrying virgin women and they are financially successful too o, so what's the end

Being a virgin as a lady won't guarantee that u will marry a God fearing man. In fact most God fearing men end up with ladies that lived wayward life while bad guys most times end up with virgin ladies. Life is crazy.

Don't kill yourself because u lost your virginity, yes it hurts to lose it forcefully but u kind of caused it.

As for marrying him, why not

If u are truly God fearing and have faith and believe in God's power of making impossibility to be possible, what stops u from marrying him. The Bible said that when a man sleeps with a single lady and takes away her virginity, he must be made to marry her, so the guy is ready to marry, come on what's wrong with it

Some people told u he is not your husband, come on, go and talk to your God to change him and make him your husband and if u have the strong faith and belief in the power of God, He will do it for u.

Jabez in the Bible prayed for God to change his condition and God did. God changed the condition of many people and still doing the same today so what changed

Stop crying and get up and start rejoicing and dancing in celebration of your amazing wedding coming soon, be happy sis.

Wish you all the best

Speak for your self please, If I mock a rape victim, what do I then do to the rapist.

Saintkely:
Nne, although I never marry yet, so am not in good position to advice you, but base on the advices people are given you Hmm use your brain ooo, you said you love the guy, I don't know how long he did what he did, and I hope if you are still in the pain you cannot considering him for marriage, before you started consulting churches there means you have already agreed within yourself, handling him to authority now both of you are planning or considering to marry is not advisable on my own opinion, since you didn't do it at the rightful time, remember you are in Nigeria a lawless Country, the most painful part of it is that these people that are advised you to expose yourself by involving authority are the same people that will still mock at you tomorrow that you were once raped , I am not supporting rape either supporting you for exposing yourself to danger, if you asked me to advice you, I will tell you to wear away the image of rape if you want to marry him, if you don't want to marry him do same and walk away, let it be your secret. No insult please.

no all rape is rape, in this case they were courting and one thing lead to the other and "it happened". well, for me, the guy is 30%at fault. seen the one u love all beside u would make u confident that u Gus are in love and as they are even heading towards marriage, he just felt it's just not a big deal.

"They told u he is not ur husband"? lady wise up. if u love him and abreast with how he behaves and it's ok, I advice u settle with him. I never trusted these Nigerian pastors, some are jealous while others are spiritually blind.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Please shut up your silly mouth there! What the heck dude? So a full grown man cannot force a lady wearing a skirt? Which full clothes are you referring to please? The only fault of hers was visiting the animal, but then they were courting which would have led to marriage.

You're rude for insulting me because of my choices which is my exclusive preserve.
It's not possible for a man to rape a lady if he has not decapacitated her, except she doesn't want to fight back. She didn't mention being decapacitated, it will be an exception if he did because they're dating or let's say they're in a relationship
And you think she is right to be frolicking with the guy and going to his house even though she has reservations about him and she said she wanted to marry as a virgin??

HypocriticalMod:
Is he not the same man that will eventually marry you and Bleep your pussy? What's the difference if he bleeped before marriage? Your pride my black ass
Better jump on him and say yes you ready to marry him, forget those fake prophets or you will be led astray.

By the way i think you just making this story up to get to the front page and also to get some attention. Smh

why ll I make this up cos of front-page.
ll front-page add anything thing to my broken hymen
why I'm actually concerned about the prophets is that the 5 of them don't know each other. I kept them in the dark. I just told them to pray about him and they all came up with the same thing

phantonce:
Sorry dear...You're just a casuality of modern day relationship that promotes sex.

A boyfriend of a year doesn't just suddenly turn to a rapist out of the blue.

He might has seen some sign that the relationship might end soon and he decided to take matters into his hand.

Am sure you're still with him even after all the warnings because he spends on you and he spending on you gives him a sense of entitlement to have sex with you.

Money no fit miss road like that na

Am only saying this from an average man point of view and not because am insensitive to your plight.

Been raped doesn't devalue you in anyway.

You're only devalued when you allow the incident get to you

Ffs you're the real MVP here
How will you court for about a year without sex and you have been visiting even mentioned he's financially okay but 5 people told you he's not your husband yet you continue the relationship. Na the gold she dey dig jare..
But the guy has also wanted to promoted the relationship to marriage I don't think he wanted her for sex only but interested in marriage too.
Na normal thing on a Normal ground nd level jare.

Netanyahu1:
Suicide is not the answer, for a minute consider yourself lucky, cause this same guy could have tricked you into marriage, before unveiling himself. Just consider that a close one and move on.

thanks dear

BabaRamota1980:


Hhmm...this issue contain many parts to it.

First is self-identity
Second is culture
Third is religion
Fourth is life purpose
Fifth is guilt
Sixth is at crossroads
Seventh is attachment.

Each is important and all have meaning to you. Its a lot of weight to carry all of them on your chest. So lessen the burden on your spirit. In other words give your spirit freedom.
To do that start by eliminating two items with least significance. These two will be the items that you can live without and still not suffer any guilt or trauma if you detach yourself from the relationship.

I ll try sir
thank you

MartinCorridon:
NEVER tolerate rape. Report him to the police.

It is so rampant in our society. People even boast in public of rape.

IsaAbubakar/ bloodykiller /akpatiozu1/ 50 other monikers is one i have reported to MODs for boasting he's a pedophile


SAY NO TO RAPE. Let us unite in protecting children

Oga shut up if you don't know what to say..
Fine to protect children tho but is this lady in question a child? Once you start dating and start visiting the guy at home you know you're ready for anything that happens afterwards.

seangy4konji:
I no get energy this morning.

If you like don't Marry,if you like marry, if you like hey. Knife and cut his prick because he took your virginity while courting you, if you like rent a gun. Snndbkill him around elegushi beach at night. You can even poison him and lace his food with poison. It will make you eel better.me don't have strength.to the bros elepon komo bustop.

God is watching you.

If you self no way knack, u suppose find pastor like kumuyi or adeboye deh court you.person weh fit get patience like majority of Nigeria citizens cos if den try all dis government gbege for Brazil, den four Don protest well.

My advice to you is that u r no more a virgin, 80 percent of d people advising u here are noon. Welcome to d club. If u keep malicebwith someone who hurt u, u r delaying your own progress. Leave them to God.

Find a spirikoko man to continue ur life with or do d curing of prick I told u. Earlier, max u use 5 years before sentencing and another 10 Years's after sentencing making 15 year with hard labor and when you come out, you come out ffyfiled.

Why rape when toto,is just 1000 Maura. Big phat toto AMD virgin one only require 500 nairacard with good lyrics.. Fresh virgin beautiful one.

Pele tie.

Am tired this morning.

Mad people everywhere !