Hi friends,please come to my aid by adising me on what to do.ii just decided to rush home to get some documents i forgot,just to catch my best friend on to p of my wife to be.of a truth i am seriouly in loe with her,and i was een thinking she loes me more than anything on this planet.
  She has really helped me in making me somebody in life today.i owe all what iam today to her family's connection.Though she has been begging and begging 4 forgieness,but i can't imagine my best friend haing slept with my wife,won't i be a laughing stock to my other friends if i go out there and marry her.please..please please.adise me on what to do..i need your candid opinion..MAY God bless u all
NOTE:her family is still begging me not to allow their enemies to laugh out them,should i listen to them or my mother who is saying i should go and look for another girl...please i will take your adice on this...time is not on my side as the marriage ceremony is suppose to take place in mid february..should i call it quit or go on with it

     RAPHAEL ADOGHO....

hmmmm at diz point, i will advice u 2 follow ur heart. neva mind u got connected through her family so i gess shez using da advantage dat afteall, u cannot do anything since her family helped u and i see diz as a future problem if she becomes ur wife unless there will be a miracle. in more imp. note, if she really loves u, common, she won't sleep around esp. with ur bestfriend and 2 think of it, ur wedding is next month....datz da way i see it though..a guy can't tell me he loves me and start messing around, ermmmm i will just fire him whether his family or even himself has done heaven and earth 4 me..i karelesss.......put urself in ur g/f's position, wat do u think she would have done or reacted seeing u having sex with her bestfriend?..ma philosophy in life is " don't do things 2 ppl dat if itz done 2 u, u wouldn't like"..........fellow ur heart..dunno wat ppl think by sleeping around and cheating sef...it disguts me...if u wanna cheat, tell ur partner and da person will move on and u continue ur game and one day nemesis will ctach up with u...u sure if shez not been doing it and nemesis got up with her........ma friend, mariage is not easyy ooooo so think 2wice and wiselyyyyyy

drop her and look for a second better wife jo.....

because if u marry her, they wil surely make another date to have sex and u will surely not know about that...

and also they must have being doing it for a long time with out you knowing , everyday for the theif one day for the owner.

dint let her ruin your life jo, if they are going to take your job that they gave you from you,then let it be and know that GOd will provide your and it

will be better.

GOOD LUCK BRO

this ain't an issue at all...first, u guys are not efen married yet.....that makes it more easy for the weddin not to take place at all......efen if na my wife i caught wit another man, that will be the end of that marriage....i careless if it is wit my best friend or my worst enemy.....

follow your mind

Look mr man!!!! you can throw away the baby and the bath water...what of if u fell in d same temptation,what sort of treatment do you expect?ofcousre you want to be forgiven....guys dat are saying you should cast the first stone may be cheating on their wives and if the wife founds out,they start begging...and i bet you d wife wont divorce them

Look its becos we live in a mans world...if it was a guy that was caught,there wont be such hell of a noise...As a matter of fact,am not holding briefs for the girl and her family...But i think you should give her a second chance...she might have done the act due to temptation or prolly she was seducted.

And my friend,i think doing the unusual makes people extra-ordinary.By you forgiven her ,The girl and her family would never forget this singular favor,though its hard .I think you owe the girls family this favor to pay back all the good things they sowed in ur life...though many people will call ofthe marriage if they were in ur shoes but just go on,forgive and pray severely and imagine you were in her shoes,wat treatment do u expect?Though she is wrong and she needs reprimanding,but i don think the method ofcalling of the marriage should be used...Just be witty,tactical and wise in handling this issue.

Lastly,its ur life,look b4 u leap ,but in the process of leaping,i hope u dont expose the people who helped you in life to public ridicule and contempt.

You may not be in the right frame of mind to make a rational decision for 2 reasons. You claim to be in love with her and you think you owe she and her family for helping you. You can forgive and try to forget but more often than not, lack of trust will cloud your mind and destroy any relationship you try to build. Make sure you are a man of steel before you choose to forgive and forget or you will only compound the problem and postpone the doomsday. You can count your loses and move on. Easier said than done for a guy in your position but that is a better option if I was in your shoes. Life is too precious to mortgage your married life to this mental torture.

My dear friend,

There is only ground on which God allowed His people to divorce thier wives. Adultry! Yet, you must agree with me that no matter how angry you are, the fact that her family helped you not counting, you still feel something for her. Most people will tell y ou that if u go ahead and marry her, that cloud of will always remain in your heart and may in the end ruin your marriage. That is thier view. But have ever stopped to think? Would you agree with me that strenght does not lie in dstroying out of anger butr forgiving out of love and mercy.

Nobility is not a birth right, it is defined by one's actions.

Udeking

just wondering what decision he took
also wondering how people post asking for advise and when we give it they dont come back to update us.

If have my way, i'll leave her and become a serial killer. I'll start with her entire family.

Bro, call off the wedding or engagement and move on with your life. A scandal/betrayal of this magnitude will certainly leave a permanent scar on the relationship/future marriage. Sorry to say this, but the babe, by her act, displayed a serious character flaw. What if you hadn't caught her in the act, would she have fessed up to you about her affair/unfaithfulness, with your best friend of all people?? She may be "sorry" just coz she got caught. Marriage ain't no cake-walk, and the last thing you wanna do is to found a marriage on such shakky ground. You'll definitely hurt from the heartbreak, but you no go die . Therefore, spare yourself and the babe any future pain and resentment, and call off the relationship. Atleast that's what I'd do if I were in your shoes. You two can even remain friends sef, but I honestly think you'd be making a monumental mistake if you choose to go ahead and marry her. KPOM!

JUST ASK UR SELF THIS QUESTION DO U STILL LOVE HER. who says ur next wife isnt going to cheat on u, and this one might be smarter she will wait till the ceremony is over. what happened ot u women experiecne all the time ,and th eonly reason y men dont experience it is because the other women are smarter than ur wife clearly.

if i was in ur shoes i wouldnt go ahead with marriage, not because of hte cheating, but because of two things
1. we are gettin married
2. with my best friend?

well regardless of what happens from now u are at a great loss, and its funny men think that women are the gullible ones. Just imagine if u never saw her and ur best friend (u would never know) regardless learn to forgive because u never know u might be in the same situation one day, on bended knees beggin ur wife not to walk out on u.

look on the bright side.
best to have caught her now.
it would have been more devastating if she was your WIFE.

phoenixman:

look on the bright side.
best to have caught her now.
it would have been more devastating if she was your WIFE.

I agree with you

God has a reason for this ,
Good that it happened now b/4 de D day
Bros kindly let her be, forget, though it not easy , but you have to act as a man now.
Good Luck.

abi

Men, dis one hard oh!!!

Get your ring back and forget about your bf and your gurl.

You can only find true love if you follow your heart. If you truly love her and your says she's the one then you forgive her.

But first, i'll like you to call her and have a talk with her. A heart to heart talk. Ask why she did that, there must be a reason and with that i'm sure you'll be able to conquer the pain you feel.

Please compose yourself properly, have a talk with her and her response may tell if you are going to be with her or not.

Case close

@ poster,

if you go ahead with the wedding, then you're a bigger fool i envisioned
let me ask you, would you now be comfortable doing it with her and not seeing flashbacks of what you saw that day ur friend was performing orchestra on her?

forgive her but dont marry her. there aint no talk of following your heart here

If u were already married the best would have been to just have forgiven her, but since the marriage has not yet been conducted i willy strongly advise u to let her go. u never no, maybe your catching them was an act of GOD telling that u are not meant for each other .

Try other girls, They may look like saints ,but until u catch them u never know,

I'd un-propose. Simple.

And be grateful we weren't married yet.

Just what the hoot was she thinking when she was with your friend

Just what the hoot did she expect you, her friends, and your families to think

Just what the hoot did she expect to achieve by bawling your guy To find out who is better

Mehhhnnn, Drop that cheat like she was hot, follow your mum's words. . . Dont be fooled

1. Guy i think she prefend ur friend on bed may be u were not good enough tto satisfy her.

2. Or she is taking advantage of the fact that her family is behind your progress and success as at today.

3. May be she just want to enjoy her life b4 she is confined to marriage cage.

4. Or it could be a conspiracy.

My honest advise to you my guy is if its fall within option 1-3, dump her and move on to fine somone more loyal. And please flee from her family connnection. if possible get another job and do not av anything to do with their daughter.


If its a conspiracy which i doubt, then you really need to think thrice.

but generally you need to leave her and move on. Becos if u still marry her, you will still be hunted by the thots of you seeing her been laid by ur friend.


just flee from her and her family. take your mum's advice.

ladies! u can never estimate them.

All the best man.

Please if u eventually marry her please lets us know.

e be like say na me be the poster friend wen Bleep this him girlfriend wife 2 be

i think this two brothers shud end this scence on nairaland we are not babies ok
First it was aghogho and now its raphael pls end it and lets read good stufs here ok

Men! It's hard to luv sumone who doesn't luv u but if i waz in your shoes men,thanks to her family 4 making me what i am but unfortunately,she is not going to be part of what i'm going to be because if i marry that girl i will continue to remember that scene even if i forgive her and seriously, i ain't cut out 4 dat kind of torture 4 d rest of my life.But thats just me!

My people say that one-eyed man owes a debt to the blindness. What was the source of the connections that made you a person of substance, from a magic construct?