In asmuch as you lied to your husband, I think he is overblowing the issue. You have already given him 3 children. What more does he want? If there was no child I can understand. But after 3 kids? He should get off his high horse.

U 4got tgat most newpapers nowadays dont carry just news but also edutainmant and financial sections as well as wellbeing n healthy living sections.

Never miss saturday and sunday punch papers!!!

4 di op...be strong and humble for ur kids. Dont u ever leave ur job as he wants to control n make u useless

Homeboiy:
young girls una dey see am so

Marry on time but una go dey form say u can't marry a man wey no de earn 200k


Well I already know that any man wey dey marry woman wey don pass 30yrs Na rescue mission he go so


It'qs like buying newspaper in the evening

Kinggnicole:

The reason many of your ancestors marriages lasted long was because many of your grandmothers and great-grandmothers put up with their husbands bullshit all their lives.The odds were strongly against them at the time due to customs, traditions, ignorance amongst many others. Believe me many of them(husbands) were total jerks.

they took there bulshit no doubt buh trust me most dint do it for the rest of there lives..a lot can change in a twinkle of an eye...first tin u shud learn to do as a married woman is to shot that door of leaving..and face whatever u wud with prayer..there is this woman i knw of that cries to my haus then wen i was younger either the man abused her or the mans child who is her step child insulted her...ah tyms it even got physical....dat case is rare sha...she was always praying most of d time even though she spoke abt neva goin bck her children made her went bck..buh today dey ar living as happy as ever....its neva easy buh it mayb worth it at last

Tell him to read and meditate on the Lord's prayer

Belafonte:
Give him time, he'll come around. You did betray his trust by not informing him earlier. These things can't be rushed. Maybe he's wondering what else you are hiding from him. But I'd say give him time.

Which time, don't u see he Has become a dangerous man already as it is? D Op's nightmare has just begun, she should runaway now d@ d abuse in an incubatory stage.

Kinggnicole:
You were wrong and you apologised.
I just hope you are not considering quiting your job. He's already rubbing it in your face that you are not fertile. Imagine adding jobless to the mix. He'll rub that in too forgetting he asked you to leave.

He's already abusing you emotionally. You have to be strong dear. And by being strong you have to know when to leave.

she deserves a divorce, apology cannot wipe out every wrong, the apology is enough to continue living with you but not to trust you.

Femsyn:
Hmm. Are you sure there isn't more to this? Cos I find his reaction way overboard.

You have three kids already, don't you?

Who gives birth to more than 3 children these days sef?

PS.: With this insensitive attitude of his, never ever leave your job. OK?

me too.I just don't think that this is their only problem

alterswerve:


It's very easy for you to say leave..
This is a marriage with three kids.. Don't do this, please

issorite. perhaps until she is a shadow of herself & miserable, thus leading 2 her death. then we shall knw which one is easy.

Kinggnicole:
You were wrong and you apologised.
I just hope you are not considering quiting your job. He's already rubbing it in your face that you are not fertile. Imagine adding jobless to the mix. He'll rub that in too forgetting he asked you to leave.

He's already abusing you emotionally. You have to be strong dear. And by being strong you have to know when to leave.

This is not how you show remorse.

I'm sorry but your analysis is flawed. I believe you don't want her separated from her husband.

Xaos:
I don't want to say anything hurtful but I have to. Ma'am your husband is being a jerk. You guys are bless with three beautiful kids - is there anything greater than this?! Yes, you gambled. It's a wicked thing but it's in the past and it worked BTW. So he need to grow up and forgive you. Just carry on and tell your in-laws. All will be well.

The husband is being a jerk, really?! I guess you've never been hurt by the person you trusted the most.

Trust is like a glass...when broken it can never be put back together to the way it was.

Kiishii:


POF is also called early menopause,
Thanks for the advise.

My dear, do not release d only power u ve right now as a woman, which is ur Financial independence. He is already showing early signs of abuse, u'll regret it gravely if u do. take ur kids 2 escape far away 4rm him, secretly begin 2 Search 4 a well paying job with ur experience elsewhere. learn a skill or skills Now, do not stay else u get accustomed 2 his abuse which can only grow; d real him is emerging 4 u didn't knw who u married.

Kiishii:



There isnt more to it, i kept it from him before marriage that's why he's reacting this way, he said it was a risky gamble, and i have apologised multiple times.

I had triplets.

Go ahead h be making excuses 4 him here, u shall learn a very bitter lesson d@ will surely cripple ur ability 2 love & trust again, thus end up being miserable & unhappy. Jehovah said in his word d holy Bible: in proverbs: "we may throw the dice, but it's him that decides how they will fall. U gambled, Yahweh, decided 2 let in come out in ur favor.

Wilfredpat22:
The truth is that you deceived him. Well we all deceive men one way or the other. You started dating when you were 29, what happened between 21-28, you were sleeping around with married men I guess

This is as a repercussion for the evils you must have done in school and to other women’s homes. Now yours will be shattered. We ladies don’t hear or listen and eventually it will lead to our downfall


Let your husband look for some one fertile and responsible. By the way Are you sure those kids are his?

Are you even human?

seek a true pastor's help

"Echi to la le"
It means silence is more than words.
Dear woman, you've wronged your husband and somw random people who know not even 1 hour of your marriage are giving you advice on some random website; I hope you are not ready to literally follow them coz if you do, you will fail.

My own little advice which I'm not asking you to take is:
Take a leave from your workplace on any basis that will make it a long leave. Attend to your kids as your husband has demanded and within that time, cook for him, wash his clothes, dress beautifully, remove his jackets whenever he returns from work, ask how he fares, be his companion. He's a man and a human being, he will become soft with time and then, apologize again and see if he won't forgive you and ask about your work.

Your actions in the past is enough to not do any little thing that will contradict your husband desires coz he will see all of them as rubbing shoulders with him and will just worsen the case.

However, you are your husband's wife, you know him more than we all do. Device the best way to settle with him but please, involving a third party should be the last thing on your list

Oga should calm down now,

Yes, you didn't share this with him until late into the marriage, but then the gamble paid off; even though he is pissed, the marriage can and will still work

Whatever you do, don't quit your job.

All the best moving forward

newdawn2017:
My dear, do not release d only power u ve right now as a woman, which is ur Financial independence. He is already showing early signs of abuse, u'll regret it gravely if u do. take ur kids 2 escape far away 4rm him, secretly begin 2 Search 4 a well paying job with ur experience elsewhere. learn a skill or skills Now, do not stay else u get accustomed 2 his abuse which can only grow; d real him is emerging 4 u didn't knw who u married.

Na wa for some people sha.
How did you reason this out? Do you realize you are talking to a woman about her husband as a random nairalander?

Sorry for your predicaments, keep apologizing to him until he sees reason to calm down but no matter what happens, never you resign from your job. If you do not want to remain wretched for the rest of your marital life unless you both agreed to open a business for you. #Saynotohousewife. The kids will be fine.

CSTR1005:

No responsible man will allow you to take his children away.

If you steal them away, he will hunt you down.

You can leave since you don't like stress, but not with the children.

What I meant is this: If I were the Op, I won't even tell him anything about POP, Abi OPP, whatever the term is. As long as have had three children, my lips are sealed.
If he ask why am i not seeing my menses, I will say it's hormonal imbalance.

But if I made a huge mistake telling my husband, the way the OP revealed all to the husband and after pleading with him that am sorry and hes keeping malice or keeping to himself. I will let him be and focus on my kids and my job. When he's tired of keeping malice, he will reconcile, and if he doesn't ? Everyman for himself.

Then if he present divorce papers to me, I will sign it, then we battle for the kids in court. I won't leave my kids with him, with all the horrible stories one hears about father and children.
My kids are coming with me, let him keep hunting us down. Moreover my kids would want to be with me anyways. So no big deal there.

Kiishii, Na today partners don dey keep secrets? Himself did he tell u about d girl that they both aborted pregnancy together, did he tell u about all his relationships n all d postinor thing. Abeg don’t mind him, tell his pastor about it or any of his spiritual head. He should be happy, what if those triplets were all girls? Will he kill himself. Abeg tell ur husband to grow up this life Na once dem dey come Am. He doesn’t know when God will call him, he’s here forming vex n protecting children. Just try n get a nanny don’t quit any job is not easy to get a job in Nigeria tho it depends on what u do shaa.

alterswerve:
So you won't Google.. POF is Premature Ovarian Failure

Wow.. See.. Truthfully, under the law, if he decides to divorce cos of this issue, you know he'll win, cos his lawyer will say you deceived him into the marriage.

It's a tough one.

He's really pissed cos he's feeling that he was deceived into the marriage. He could be wondering how many other things you're keeping from him ry now.

Do what he wants if your marriage is of very high priority to you and let him know you're doing it to show him how sorry you are and for peace to reign between both of you.

Always staying with the kids doesn't guarantee that nothing bad will ever happen to them, and let him know that too.

It's a sacrifice or penance I think you should make IF YOUR MARRIAGE IS OF A HIGHER PRIORITY TO YOU THAN YOUR CAREER and his pay can take care of all y'all well.

My only scare now is that he doesn't begin to demand for more sacrifices from you. But looking at the positive side, if you submit, he may look back at this decision in the future and lift his ban on you working

Wish you the best

PS: You typed good. Big ups!

What if she leaves her job and he eventually divorce her, how will she fend for herself?

Simonrom:


Na wa for some people sha.
How did you reason this out? Do you realize you are talking to a woman about her husband as a random nairalander?

So I should not tell her d truth? don't u knw ones husband can become a nightmare? it is charging In d@ direction with full headlights on.

Wilfredpat22:
The truth is that you deceived him. Well we all deceive men one way or the other. You started dating when you were 29, what happened between 21-28, you were sleeping around with married men I guess

This is as a repercussion for the evils you must have done in school and to other women’s homes. Now yours will be shattered. We ladies don’t hear or listen and eventually it will lead to our downfall

Let your husband look for some one fertile and responsible. By the way Are you sure those kids are his?

Haba Aunty! why do you say things like these, I feel like crying for these words. They're really hurting and not nice at all.

Since you have children for him, I don't see reasons why he want to avoid you now, if he really loves you, he will stand by you at this trying times, just keep praying and relate the issue to your pastor to assist you in prayers.

Kiishii:
I don't even know how to start, I'm really sad and i know it is my fault, i'm sorry if it's a long read i need advise please bear with me.

When i was still single at age 29, I left a relationship that turned out be a mistake so it took time before i met someone else, at age 31 I noticed changes in my period (one month off, one month on) it has never happened to me before so i didnt take it to be anything, then it started skipping 2 months at a roll, then 3 months, i became worried cos i wasn't sexualy active at all. During this period i met my husband and we started something serious, to be on a safe side i went to see the doctor, he said i was fine that it's hormonal changes, he gave me some drugs (mostly vitamins) but it was still skipping, when my husband proposed, i went back to the doctor, he did series of tests, when results came out he said i'm having symptoms of POF, i was shocked, i cried and cried cos it's unheard of for someone my age, i told him i'm about to get married what can i do he said i should start taking hormonal injections since it's too early to be POF, i started taking it and praying all will be fine, all this while i didnt say a word of this to my husband to be or anyone else, then we got married, i took in immediately, it was the happiest day of my life, when we discovered it was triplets i cried tears of joy to the extent that my husband wondered why i was soo happy, i gave birth to 2 boys and a girl, i really thank God for his faithfulness cos i was soo nervous during the pregnancy.

My period was still skipping, then this year march it stopped completely, i went to see 2 different doctors to be sure, they confirmed i have POF (early menopause), i cried and still thank God cos he blessed me with the fruit of the womb but i couldnt bring myself to tell my husband, then he started noticing i dont buy sanitary pad anymore, he asked thinking i was pregnant i always tell him no, at a point he had to ask me if i want to make the pregnancy a surprise, that was when i knew it's time to tell him the truth, i knelt down and told him everything, i held nothing back, he was shocked that i could do something like that to him, he said i should have told him before we got married, i told him he wouldnt have married me if i told him, he was angry, he said what if the hormonal injections didnt work, it was an expensive and wicked gamble, i told him it worked that's what matters now, he abused me and walked out of the house, he didnt come home till the next day, since then things have never been the same.

He hardly talks to me except when necessary, we dont gist and joke anymore, i always beg and beg him, he says he's forgiven me but he goes back to his moody self, we hardly make love anymore, when he finally does, he doesnt look at my face, now he wants me to quit my job so i'll have my full attention on the kids, recently we had a fight about it and i told him point blank i cant quit my job the kids are fine he said i must do that, he doesnt want anything happening to them since i'm no more fertile, who says that? I cried my eyes out that night, It's not my fault nature took it's course on me, i never imagined something like this would ever happen to me.

Now he doesn't talk to me at all anymore, i'm about to tell both our families everything cos i've begged and begged him and i'm tired, i want anonymous advise that's why i'm here, please please married men and women or whoever, how do i go about this?

Madam, next time when you want to make a confession as big as this, bend is a little. If you had told him you noticed after the triplets came, he wouldn't as disappointed. Now the reasonable thing to do is to keep begging coz your crime is very great, he needs to heal when he's ready. Don't quit your job no matter the pressure. Seems like he's trying to get back at you for what you did, if he's not going to forgive you,don't let him ruin you

Your husband is overreacting. He would have been right if you were still trying to get pregnant but you now have 3 kids. Yes, you did bad by hiding it from him but events have overtaken that already. He is even supposed to be feeling bad and helping you look for a solution to your problem, not sulking like an overgrown baby.

Simonrom:


Na wa for some people sha.
How did you reason this out? Do you realize you are talking to a woman about her husband as a random nairalander?

So then I should not tell her d deep truths based on experience?

There's nothing God can not handle, just have faith and take it to God in prayers, you can still have as many children as you want. With God all things are possible. Your husband should even be grateful that he has 3, some fertile couples are even looking for 1. Please wipe your tears and make him understand that your quitting your job & being around the children 24hrs doesn't guarantee their protection

Kinggnicole:
You were wrong and you apologised.
I just hope you are not considering quiting your job. He's already rubbing it in your face that you are not fertile. Imagine adding jobless to the mix. He'll rub that in too forgetting he asked you to leave.

He's already abusing you emotionally. You have to be strong dear. And by being strong you have to know when to leave.

you've succeeded in talking more about his reaction than the cause of it itself. you are obviously more concerned about how he chooses to react to a major scam than the scammer her self. a person who could do that kind of thing could also have doctored a hiv result and married him when she is positive. its the height of evil to have made him gamble with such a chance. but no! you rather make light of her heinous deeds and appropriate all of your attention on how he reacted.

williamsdon:
I told you this feminists are mentally unstable. Am sure you are not married

common get out! marriage kih u dia.

vineyardfarms:
Wahooo, marriage blessed with triplets should call for celebration and thanks giving to God for his mercy and grace. Madam, please don't quite your job. You have pleaded for mercy and forgiveness. Take your case to God henceforth and leave it right there. Be strong and submissive to him. It will work out for your good and l can see other children on the way. Make the alter of God your alter, like Hanaah, file your pettition. Don't quite your job, so that the house will not become a prison wall.

which kain like Hannah, o na ebeakwa nwa?