I Got The Beating When He Cheats. - Romance - Nairaland
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| I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by Carolece(f): 2:39pm On Jul 04, 2010 |
I am still on my nonpartaking break on NL, but I come here from time to time to check on the comments that yall have made on the thread I made about my sister and my ex. Thanks yall for the positive feedbacks. Still havent called my sister and dont think I will, atleast not in this near future. Even though, yes I know forgiving will probably make me feel better, but the way I feel towards her now, if I get a glimpse of her, I hope anger doesnt allow me to take my licensed firearm from my purse. Forgetting? Please, how can one forget such a thing? But anyways I am about to give another of my episodes why I really dispise men. After dispelling that ex I didnt allow that to stop me from dating. But I quickly learnt that MOST if not all are the same kind of shyt. You may say its probably my bad choice/s but ofcourse they dont appear to be shyts when they approach, in all my relationships, they were nice guys, loving and all that, but as the relationships grew older, they started to treat me bad, perhaps they took my kindness for weakness. Or perhaps I gave them too much space, as I am/was never the one to cling or nag. If you want to be with your boys, I trust you enough to be with them as you claim, but ofcourse men always take things to a higher level. Cutting the story short. This particular man we dated for approximately 7 months before the abuse started to get physical. On a rainy day as I remembered, he was late and I called his work phone as he said he would be working late, I didnt generally call, as he used to do all the calling (from his office I suppose). That day when I called, the phone rang and rang until it went to the voice machine. I didnt leave a message as it was the office. When he arrived home, I asked him if he was just leaving the office and ofcource he said yes. What he didnt know is how aware I was of his Irish Spring freshness. I querried about the freshness and I got a slap to the face (how rude of me to make such an "assumption"  . I took the slap and had to apologize. That night, I was giving the most derogative treatment. I was forced into having rough sex, no kisses, no carresses, it was just hardcore sex, my throat was squeezed, my hair was being dragged and need not I complain. I had to tell him how much I enjoyed it.A few days after that, one of his biatches called the house while he wasnt there. I asked who was calling, and I made a big mistake of my life. Seemingly, she told him that I was "rude" to her, as he came in storming mad one evening how I didnt know who was calling and I was rude to the person. I couldnt recall, as I didnt even remember about that particular call, as they were so often, but didnt know why I chose to ask who was calling that day. I got some serious beat down, for the reason that "I was being disrespectful". So many other bad experiences with that particular man, but those are the two outstanding ones, relationship lasted for 9 months. |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by kannymoore(m): 3:08pm On Jul 04, 2010 |
Jeeez! To have undergone all that abuse, you must be quite emotionally and mentally strong o! However, i hope your heart has healed itself over time. Its a pity you had to have the rough end of the stick. I really feel for you sha. |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by Acidosis(m): 3:09pm On Jul 04, 2010 |
This is serious! Are you a Nigerian? |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by Carolece(f): 3:23pm On Jul 04, 2010 |
Not Nigerian. Why I post on NL? I feel more comfortable telling a "stranger" my story. As I am too ashamed to letting people around me know how so much about me. I try to live a normal life, but mentally I am not normal. I know its serious but I wont ever let it consume my life. I have total control of the situation, but I feel better letting some of it out. |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by Acidosis(m): 4:08pm On Jul 04, 2010 |
Carolece:I really feel your pain, and I must say 'you have taken the best decision' by posting on this forum. Just be calm, relax yourself and try not to think much about the past. 1 Like |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by spoilt(f): 4:10pm On Jul 04, 2010 |
@OP Do you know Leilah?  You can compare notes on taking abuse from men and doing nothing about it. . |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by adaphik(f): 4:11pm On Jul 04, 2010 |
Maybe u shld change the choice, or perhaps take ur time in making a choice. Ofcourse, every right thinking man wld appear nice initially, so that shldnt be used to make an assessment. However, i think u shld give urself a break with dating n assess urself n adjust where need be. By the way, r u actually 49  ??  |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by Carolece(f): 4:19pm On Jul 04, 2010 |
Acidosis:How can one just throw the past like its an object. The hurt is there, hard to get rid of. So I have to think about it on a daily basis. I will try to get some help though. For my own good i.e. spoilt:What can one do when law tells you its domestic and you should go and work things out? They only help if blood, near death or actual death happens. |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by cyntlating(f): 4:38pm On Jul 04, 2010 |
my dear i admire ur strenght bt 4rm ur post it appears u live with d men,ist rule no mata hw gud dey appear, neva pack to his haus until, mariage 2nd neva tell dem of ur past fabricate wht u feel dey shud hear |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by Carolece(f): 5:06pm On Jul 04, 2010 |
cyntlating:I dont understand this. Could you edit and make it in English? Thanks |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by Dyt(f): 5:13pm On Jul 04, 2010 |
u r a strong woman i must say |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by Magz(m): 5:22pm On Jul 04, 2010 |
You should spend time being in a relationship with yourself |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by Carolece(f): 5:31pm On Jul 04, 2010 |
Magz:Thats what I am doing these days. Dyt:Thanks. I try to stay that way. |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by Chubhie: 5:32pm On Jul 04, 2010 |
All you need do is to reflect and embrace all that have happened to you and let it serve as motivation for you! It seems to me that you have alot of issues even ones you cant share with strengers. You need to sort all this issues first before you can move on. A professional advice would do you some good. I wish you the very best. |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by sophy09: 6:31pm On Jul 04, 2010 |
It hurts when a man beats up a lady. What I can tell you is that next time a guy hits you, you hit back with every thing you've got. Or you call the cops on him. It is not good to suffer in silence, you need to see a shrink or talk to someone. |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by saintneo(m): 6:40pm On Jul 04, 2010 |
;d ;d ;d ;d ;d |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by Iceugwa(m): 7:55pm On Jul 04, 2010 |
i problem with most girls with u inclusive is dat they always go for the nice guys. but these guy are actually devil. if u lower ur taste u will see a beta guy. u know if u are nice sometin must be bad about u. |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by Iceugwa(m): 7:58pm On Jul 04, 2010 |
i problem with most girls with u inclusive is dat they always go for the nice guys. but these guy are actually devil. if u lower ur taste u will see a beta guy. u know if u are nice sometin must be bad about u. |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by Henesi2010(m): 8:14pm On Jul 04, 2010 |
[color=#006600][/color]No man raises his hand against u shal slap u again. This is my sincered prayer 4u. |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by Madukaele(m): 8:37pm On Jul 04, 2010 |
madam, pls dont tell your bf about your past and dont be tooo nice. how can someone rap u and u told d guy is wonderful,how can someone slap u for doing nothing and u say thank u and sory . u r killing yourself. not the guys , u r d one that have problem. that is the truth. wake up and dont take abuses with happiness.  |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by Pappij: 9:27pm On Jul 04, 2010 |
@Poster,get a life outside men at least 4 now.Get a job,activities dat will keep u busy, go to school.Earn respect 4 itself.Put a lid on ur lips, u dnt av 2 talk about ur past to any1 and I mean any1. Most importantly,get a life with God, don't move in wit any man until after marriage, Live within d dictate of God always, Peace |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by 0hsisi: 9:48pm On Jul 04, 2010 |
Madukaele: You said it all @ poster do you have a father? how did he treat your mother? are you perpetuating the cycle you saw a loved one endure? Love doesn't hurt stop picking these losers before you end up 6 feet under. You are obviously beaten down emotionally,My heart goes out to you, Please don't keep this to yourself,tell someone,your mom,your aunt,anyone. And for heaven's sake,get your own apartment and stop shacking up with these men till they ask your hand in marriage and walk you down the aisle. You are making it too easy and taking a whole lot of poop Get your self esteem back dear It is somewhere within you anything you let a man abuse you physically,emotionally or sex.ually,a part of you dies |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by Carolece(f): 10:20pm On Jul 04, 2010 |
People, all this is in my past. I just find the courage to speak up on them. I no longer allow what happened in the past to happen to me now, as the first sign I see I am totally out. I use men, only thing I dont or cant do is abuse (physically). I dont see myself in a relationship. I wont and cant trust. Marriage? NEVER!! Even if I heal from all the abuses. I WILL NEVER TRUST A MAN. For the poster who asked about my father, he was the worse person to ever breathe a breath of God's fresh air. He died sometime ago, dont even remember when as I dont care. Life is good with me for the most part. I just need to let go of the hatred that I have and live a better life, and most importantly as someone already said, one with God. I will make that step when its the right time, hoping it wont be too late. |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by Nobody: 11:02pm On Jul 04, 2010 |
Carolece i know you dont like what i am about to tell you but you got what you deserved from staying with such an abusive man. getting with him wasnt the problem but THE MINUTE he first lay his dirty hands on you, should have been the minute you bolted from there and forever forget about having that evil man in your life. the fact that "love" (or whatever nonsense) kept you there and made you accept this treatment made all this drama YOUR FAULT. i have dated a lot of skanks in my life but the minute i discovered their skankish ways, that was the end of it (thats when common sense kicks in). . . . . . . . . and no matter how many of these women i "discover" on my path to life, i will never believe that all women are like that. btw: every single of your post is totalk trash about men and the evil they do, dont you have any positive stories with any human beings?! |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by Carolece(f): 12:38am On Jul 05, 2010 |
The meaning of marriage have significantly changed. People no longer get married for the right reasons. Besides that, we are from different cultures. Where I'm from, partially everyone there shacks before marriage, (with the exception of die-hearted christians) thats how you get to know someone before you "tie" yourself to him/her. Not saying its the right way, but that's our "culture" (practice). All that with that particular person, happened only within a two months span. I put an end to it only but too late. I am sure many other women stay in them for years. I didnt make that mistake, I got the hell out as soon as I saw the way out. There are great times that I had with men, but the bad they've done just erase the good. I just cant put the good times at the forefront. Sorry, the bad outweigh the good in men. Not my fault. |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by Nobody: 1:01am On Jul 05, 2010 |
Carolece: you are right about the fact that 2 months was way TOO long. . . . . 2mins is the maximum time you should give, any guy who beats you, to get the hell out of your life! some women want to believe in LOVE so much that they knowingly close their eyes on negative matters in their relationship. love should only matter if/when everything else is ok. the ladies that stay married for years to such men do so because they believe that something else is more important than their well being. |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by Carolece(f): 1:21am On Jul 05, 2010 |
MRbrownJAY:But its easier to say when you are on the outside looking in. Its not that easy when love and other things like kids and financial woes are in the mix of things. I do understand why my mother stayed in her abusive marriage, even though I blame her for staying, I really do understand. Some women basically see no way out. In reality, things may be worse for her if she leaves. AND THATS THE DEFINATE REASON WHY MOST WOMEN STAY. That is why I made sure I dont have to rely on any man for nothing other than sex, and that I can definately do without. |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by CHOUPIE2(f): 3:18am On Jul 05, 2010 |
Sista I have been thru the same of what u went thru and even worse i stayed in the relationship for 7 years and I can say this guy not only beat me down physically but emotionally also. People can give you advice but they don't know it until they have been there. All I can say Praise God you're out of it early before he did more damage. Girl I say take time find yourself, find out what is the common denominator in those guys and then build a relationship with your Creator. Pray about it and the hardest thing is forgive those who has offended you and move on. It's a cruel world out there we meet some good ones and we meet some bad ones. Soon as you discover who you are and what kind of man you deserve you will be able to differentiate the good ones from the bad ones. It take time there is a man out there for you but take time and heal; he will come to you in due time but all I say is find you first. You are a beautiful woman inside and out, don't let no man or woman take your worth from you or even break you down. God bless you sista!!! |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by Carolece(f): 3:51am On Jul 05, 2010 |
CHOUPIE2:Sweetheart. I say from time to time, that no one will ever understand until they are in it. They will talk everything until when they are caught in it, they dont remember what they usually say to someone who was in it. Thank God you are out in one piece and perhaps at peace. I will one day be at peace. The one above is watching over me, over all of us for a fact. There are many wounded women out there and we need to take a stand before its too late, as I've known more than one fallen fatal victims. |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by Bossman(m): 4:05am On Jul 05, 2010 |
Wow! That is a lot to have gone through. It seems like you have got the strength to move on. No wamn shoud be taking this crap from any man. Best of luck to you. |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by LOVE4BUG(f): 12:33pm On Jul 05, 2010 |
See the first day my guy slapped me i was quite but the second time he was astonished (slapped him back and even jumped at him at the same time with my shoe on his head). DON'T TAKE SHIT |
| Re: I Got The Beating When He Cheats. by filani(m): 4:13pm On Jul 05, 2010 |
@ carolece Av been following ur posts and replies you give to threads by other NL's for a while now and have been trying to decide if the " stories " on ur life you post here are legit or if ur just full of $hit.  If these accounts on ur life are true however then you've really had a harsh past & i truly empathise with you but on the other hand carrying this venom in ur heart against all men[/b] is somthing you simply cannot give any excuse for NO MATTER HOW MUCH $HIT the men in ur past have put you through.  If i as a man held ALL women responsible for the cheating,slutty behavior of a few that i have been involved with & called them ALL worthless whores , as woman urself would you agree with my blanket generalization of women ? I have always said here on NL that this relationship coin HAS TWO SIDES , there are guys out there that treat thier gurls bad ,yes, BUT there are gurls out there who treat [b]good men who worship the ground they walk on worse the trash too! If i can rise above the bitter experience in my past & still maintain a positive opinion of women in general then where the hell do you get off labeling ALL MEN as evil everytime ur on NL Is the intensity of ur pain any diffrent from mine? is the pain you felt so unique that it gives you somkinda divine right to be the way you are now? If you decide ur gonna swear off men for the rest of ur natural life then fine , THAT'S UR CHOICE ! but don't i repeat DON'T put that emotional baggage on other men out there who have not done a thing to hurt you !Am sorry for the long post N'landers but like i said ,av been following carolece for a while now and this post was the last straw. I empathise with her BUT she reeeeaaally needs to get her emotional house in order. * filani sits down on his sofa to listen to soul soothing vocals from ENYA * |
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