My fiance is really pissing me off. She complains that i do not call her as much as she calls me. Most times when we talk, we spend a minimum of 20mins, which to me is good enough time. We talk about everything and i expect that she should understand that after talkiing for a long time the previous day, we should give ourselves some space. Unfortunately she's not having none of that. The new twist to this is that after she called to ask me why i don't call her as much as she calls me, i decide 2 succumb 2 her request to try & call her as often as i can . I now place several calls to her fone & it rings without her picking. I even send her texts & she doesn't reply. That was 2 days ago. I sent her a text yesterday & called her fone without her picking or even replying my text. I'm pissed because if i take time out to call her & she sees my missed calls and texts without replying, i can safely conclude that she's out on a revenge mission. I have decided not to call or text her so that i'll c how far she's prepared to take this. How do you think i should handle this?

But you said your fiance? I think it takes two people who have agree together
to marry each other before you could call her your fiance and not your girl friend? Anyway, why not try and use another phone to call her and see if she will pick it up. because it might be that maybe shes charging the phone somewhere or maybe they've stolen it. But pls dont conclude yet, and even if it happens that she's taking a revenge, invite her over to your house and talk to her. settle it amicably. That should'nt cause anything. You're only mis-interprete each other. Pls take good care of her.

The problem is that she's not in working in lagos otherwise iwould have called her over. I understand that she's missing me as much as i do her but whn i don't call when she expects, she shouldn't feel that i don't love her anymore. She's trying to be 2 protective and it seems she doesn't understand that at times i need my space.

na wah. [Mobile phones]
i wonder what it was like before their invention when people used to wait weeks sometimes months to see each other.

@poster
your girl loves you now, just keep reassuring her and yes it seems she is trying to get her own back, let her have it, just don't cry over it or she will do it again. instead just say you are aware she is upset and u guys just keep strong.

Suggest to try the following existing NL topic link at below:

A Recipe for a Successful Relationship

In the quality of your relationship improvement!!!

@ultrafem, nice observation. Funny enuff she works with a telecoms firm & call rates r cheaper 4 them. Be that as it may, if she wants 2 get her own back, it's ok with me. We must disagree 2 agree. My point is that communication, no doubt, is key. But must we communicate everyday? Also, must i reassure her that i love her everyday?

@uspry1, thanx. U have a large heart. i'll have look @ d topic. But one thing i know is dat theory is different from real life scenarios.

The thing is that most of we ladies are built differenly from men.
I personally like thefone calls al though the day, the text messages especially first thing in the morning.
but not all guys can give me that.

You knew the kinda person your fiance is - you knew this wehn you dates, and now you are engaged to her - its a case of give unto Cesar what is Cesar's. You have no choice but to deal with it cause you knew about her ways before you deiced to get engaged.

The case of her not answering your calls - she is practising the classic 'ignore him and he will see how valuable you are technique' also known as the 'dont always be available' technique.

This obviously must be someone you lve for this to bother you so much - swallow your pride and be the bigger person - leep calling and make sure you leave messages, keep texting her and assure her that you love her blah balh you know all the mushy stuff.

@adeboo, thanx 4 sharing this with me. I'll send her a couple of texts that should do d trick.

Women, God really created u people.

You are welcome sweetie and nobody said being in a relationship would be easy.

One more thing you could do that will crown it up - call her at hours or even times you know she would never expect it.
or text her something nice early in the morning, before she wakes up so she sees it as she wakes up and my dear she will go potty in your hands.

Aww, dat is so sweet. Falling in love & keeping the fire burning is a lifetime project. I'll make sure i do everything within my power 2 keep d fire buring. Thanx again.

she's trying to teach you a lesson. you wanted some space abi? this is what space looks like! stop burning up her phone line.

lol@spoilt

hmm, ? really u looking  sexy girl makes me want to go

@ sexlover dearie

sexlover:

She complains that i do not call her as . I have decided not to call or text her so that i'll c how far she's prepared to take this. How

no no no and no, thats not the right way to go about it, not at all.
you might be starting a "ruin mission" without even knowing it, and believe me in some cases, the final results becomes regrets, now i'm sure you don't want that for your relationship do you??

by now you should understand girls in my opinion, yes, she's on the revenge mission, you see we(most ooh, wasn't generalizing) find it hurting when we think a guy(s)/our boyfriend is ignoring, neglecting or over-looking us. An we only resolve to let-me-show-you-how-it-pains because we love the guy
and we need him to show us he appreciates us

some girls love them romantic, i know i wouldn't fall for one who isn't because that's one of the things on the top of my list. Your girl seem to be one of those, o you got to buckle up. ADEBOO, girl you read my mind concerning the sMAll sweet little things because they surely make the girl go bananas. "being Romantic" is an act, buy it if you don't have it, because you need it

she must have felt "rejected" when you weren't calling her as often as she wanted so she decided to pay you back in your own coin with the "i don't care attitude", i'm sure deep down she's missing you, she wants you back but she wants an apology, is that too much to sacrifice for your girl/angel?? i don't thinK so

so my guy please Go and do something about it, remember you started it lol. your ignoring her will only tend to make the matter worse and the distance between you guys farer and at the end of the day you might end up loosing each other or even if you later reconcile, you'll find out it wasn't worth it

why throw away special quality time on some issue that is just childish. The girl is being a "girl", what's your own excuse?? lol

they say two wrongs can never make a right and i say, its better to loose your pride for the one you love (and obviously loves you too) than to loose the one you love because of pride

someone gatto compromise, why can't that someone be you this time?? so what's it going to be hun??

cheers

Na wa o. Men are in deep trouble.
She's not picking up your calls ke? If indeed both of you have gotten to the "fiance-fiancee" stage then such behaviour is unacceptable. Time for a frank heart to heart talk.
It's absurd that at this stage you and your fiancee do not understand each other.

davidylan:

Na wa o. Men are in deep trouble.
She's not picking up your calls ke? If indeed both of you have gotten to the "fiance-fiancee" stage then such behaviour is unacceptable. Time for a frank heart to heart talk.
It's absurd that at this stage you and your fiancee do not understand each other.

@ Davidylan

remember: as long as there is life, we never stop learning

show me a couple that don't go through misunderstandings once in a while, NONE. And its not the misunderstandings that counts, but how strong we come out of it TOGETHER

remember we're all different, desire different things, but the goal of marriage/patnership is learning and trying to adjust to one another's wants and meeting each other half way when the need arises

Cute-ass, have you been married before? The maturity with which you approach issues is amazing.

Anyway back to the topic: We've all been down this road before. True all relationships do have their problems but at a stage you dont expect that one of those problems should be a lack of communication.
If indeed his fiancee is playing hard to get then i suggest he takes a good step back to re-evaluate this relationship. Love is good but it is not blind!
Unless the author of this topic is misusing the words "fiancee" i assume they are both engaged and looking towards getting married at some point. If at this stage she finds it easier to ignore him rather than talking to him then we have a problem.

Sexlover, we've all had extra-possessive girlfriends before. They want to be seeing your tail lights every second. The minute she cant locate you it seems like world war 3. Sit her down and make her understand that you need your privacy too as nicely as you can. Whenever u're with her make sure you make each second count, when you are not there those are the moments she will look back on for comfort.
Of course she will throw tantrums and cry when u dont call as often as she expects, send her texts at least once every 2 days, make it a habbit so she has something to look forward to. Send her little notes once in a while when she's not expecting it.
After a while she'll get used to the fact that she wont have u every minute, at least she knows u're thinking about her and you truly care.

Most importantly, make sure you dont give her any chance to ever distrust you!!

davidylan:

Cute-ass, have you been married before? The maturity with which you approach issues is amazing.

lol not yet hun but thanks for the compliment (i'm almost blushing lol)

and you make a lot of sense too. A relationship that lack communication, might go down sooner or later because that's an important key ooh.

but its always better late than never, so if they're strong enough, i'm sure they'll eat it as simple as a piece of cake _{they sound so much in love,so i hope they do ooh}

i think misunderstands are good atimes, reconciling is so sweet and it brings them closer

i've even heard this saying that any relationship (be it friendship, marriage or lovers) without misunderstandings is bad ooh, it becomes boring because you're being so careful to the extent of being scared of the person's personality

, but too much of everything is bad on the other hand, so its not expected that they'll be "cat and dog" everyday lol.

@cute-ass, thanks 4 d words of advice. U really understand this game we're playing. We'll definitely sort things out & become better friends at d end of d day. I'll put everything u've said 2 practice.

@ davidylan, i feel u man. Matter of fact, im gonna b making a surprise trip to see her & i'll b strapped with a package dat'll sweep her off her feet.

sexlover:

@cute-ass, thanks 4 d words of advice. U really understand this game we're playing. We'll definitely sort things out & become better friends at d end of d day. I'll put everything u've said 2 practice.

@ davidylan, i feel u man. Matter of fact, im going to b making a surprise trip to see her & i'll b strapped with a package that'll sweep her off her feet.

now you're talking

good luck dear

@sexylove
How do you expect her to pick up her phone when she is in the arms of another man ? Your girl is giving you signs