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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Celebrities / The Truth About Linda Ikeji's Childbirth (425 Views)
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The Truth About Linda Ikeji's Childbirth by Lilzmalcolm(m): 6:01pm On Sep 21, 2018 |
Time will tell. Linda Ikeji will not stop shoving wonders down our throat.This week her baby came. Naij.com claims she acquired him a hundred million Naira Bentley from the labour room. They lie a lot, but the whiteman has really made impossible things plausible. The reason Muray Bruce thought he could impeach fellow senators. He forgot that real whitemen don't come from Bayelsa. What is more intriguing though- is that no news outlet reported the actual truth about Linda Ikeji's childbirth; that she gave birth to a set of twins. A boy, and a new dictionary word: Baby daddy. Feminists will still come back for every website that used the word. They will ask why 'Daddy', an English word is used for the men, while, Mama, is used when the woman is the minnow and the man, the celebrity. They will fight for Chioma to be called a baby-mummy and not a baby mama, but for now, it is celebration galore. Linda Ikeji will serve as an example to the world, they say. A battle has been won, it has been proven that what matters is not the gender, but who is more popular and fulfiling of the societal notion of success- a realm where Linda vividly trumps her baby-daddy. The wait was long, but a worthy one at that. Now we know, that it is not arbitrarily agreed on, that the mother, of any bastard, sorry, any child born out of wedlock, becomes a baby-Mama, while the father, remains the father. We now know, that the determinant is success, and a man could well become a baby-daddy, if the woman is more successful and famous. But the story is longer. Those who couldn't make it to watch Black Panther can watch this. Now is for feminsits, I will let them tell my little sister that sexual relationships and childbirth before marriage could reduce the man to just as lowly a place as it has been reducing baby-mamas to. That, it could dubb the man a name, inferior to that which he was christened, while the wife retains her name. That just as it could be, Davido and her baby Mama, without the woman getting a worthier mention, it could also be Linda Ikeji and her baby-daddy, with the man's name deemed unnecessary. One lesson feminists will want us to learn, is that women give too much to save their marriages because they feel they would be more affected by its dissolution, while in reality, their being female does not necessitate that, what makes it that way is their dependence upon the men. But, Linda is not dependent upon the man. If anything, then he must be dependent upon her. They will want us to learn not to warn our daughters more than we would, our sons- about having a baby out of wedlock, but to teach them to be as successful as Linda. Time will tell if we will learn. If we will ever learn from it more than we learnt from the man who pointed the moon to us; that he had a cute finger. We know, that given Linda's class, even if the baby-daddy were to jinx her and her baby, she wouldn't be reduced to a social media meager like one of Wizkid's baby-mamas, or Davido's, who practically beg the fathers online, though in the name of shading. Those girls too will learn. But we will have to watch further, to see, if Linda can continue to have as normal a social life as she currently has, if the baby-daddy were to desert her. If, just like Davido, she can 'use' three men, have a kid for them each, change their names to 'One of Linda Ikeji's baby mamas' while she continues to have a social life as normal as that of Davido. We will wait too, to see if the men's life will become as wretched as those of the baby Mamas, and if they will come online to accuse Linda of not paying the children's school fees, and complain about how hard it is for them to even feed. We will wait to see, if the baby-daddies will look just as used and obsolete as Davido's baby-mamas, if the fact that they 'had had a child for Linda' will lower their chances of catching another 'big fish', as it has for the baby-mamas we know. They now have to upload their chats with Wizkid to stay relevant. We will think about the one who would have been more affected between Olamide and his wife, Aisha, if their relationship had not ended in a marriage. We will wait to see. It will be a long wait, a long movie. We do not pray for their relationship not to end in marriage. No we do not. But we wish to learn from it that which will make us understand why we should not shove the reality of it down our daughter's throats; that childbirth out of wedlock, that a dissolved marriage affects the woman more. It will be an honour to learn from feminists, one which we don't wish to have. . Lan Rey Hassan |
Re: The Truth About Linda Ikeji's Childbirth by Airforce1(m): 6:04pm On Sep 21, 2018 |
Lol |
Re: The Truth About Linda Ikeji's Childbirth by emeijeh(m): 6:08pm On Sep 21, 2018 |
Funny |
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