We were happily married,i have a good job and she was a contented full house wife.We both agreed to travel abroad to have our first child,then we also traveled for the second baby delivery and the trouble started.

She decided she doesn't want to come back that we should stay back,i left her there after we couldn't conclude hoping she will follow me,when i discovered she has made up her mind,i resigned from my job and joined her and our kids abroad because i love her so much and cant live without her.That was the beginning of my nightmare,she turned from a humble,innocent wife to a matured woman who always want to defend her right.

During a hot argument one day,i beat her up because i was tired of condoling her excesses,she ran outside and called the police,that was how i found myself in Nigeria.No job,no hope,no home.For 3 years i was roaming the street like a mad man,my family and friends rejected me because they felt i was foolish,i suffered and tasted poverty.

Then as God will have it,i got another job,better than the former one,i can boldly say im a multi millionaire now,God restored me.But now i despised women,i hate them so much,i sleep with them anyhow and doesn't give a hoot about them,i don't believe love still exist anymore.

My wife has been calling me for the past 6months now,it must have dawned on her that she has made a terrible mistake,but now i hate her and even the kids.



P.S. I AM NOT THE GUY IN QUESTION. . . . I AM JUST TRYING TO ADVISE HIM TO TAKE CARE OF HIS CHILDREN

The guy should take care of his kids. why should he hate his own flesh and blood please whatever happened is between the guy and his wife, he shouldn't allow his children pay the price of something they know nothing about.

That's what I have been trying to tell him but he dosent want to know

Then tell him that if he doesn't want God to take him back to hardship he should better take care of the kids he was blessed with. If he wants to divorce his wife that's entirely up to him but for the love of God he shouldn't turn his back on his kids.

the number of problems taking a walk can solve. . . . ,  . . . . . ,  .

voluntarily going on a walk before beating someone up vs being forced to take a walk after beating someone up. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

let me keep on dreaming. . . . . . . . . . . .

just pray, @ poster

or if you like, continue the hatred.

Tell him to 'forgive & forget'

is this not another super story tale. sounds too "nollywood-like" to be real.

just my opinion

^^^^^of cus NOT

I reckon you forgive her, so that God can forgive you ur sins as well, remember we are all sinners

Dont hate the kids cause they did nothing bad to you. If only you knew, you would have walked away on that day instead of beating her. Hope you learn some lessons tho, i completely understand that some women can be annoying sometimes, best is to ignore them. Move on with your life with no hatred in your heart and always pray to God. It is well bro.

why hate your own flesh and blood esp with something they werent clearly part of?

yes, he beat the wife when he should clearly know better and he was sent home bloody hell, whats has the kids got to do with it?

did they gang up with their mom to call the police or send him home?

i guess, he is hurt by the fact that he was sent home and what his relationship with his wife had become, but HATE is such a very strong word to use

on the "mini yous" you helped mold.

he should cool down and try to differentiate between his wife and kids

i hope his kids never get to hear that their fathers hates them not being physically there with them is enough pain

Stories/posts from this OP has always been like a fairy tale to me

Well I deal with real life senarios

Seriously hating your own children who had nothing to do with it? That's just low!

But why am I not surprise? A man who can beat up his wife no matter what she's done can habour such evil heart.

No matter what the mother of his children did to him why take it out on innocent kids who did nothing wrong to him?

He should not forget that God gave him the wealth he has and can as well decide to take it away if he isn't using it to glorify Him!

If he wants to divorce his wife that's up to him but please he should take care of his kids and not take it out on them. They are his responsibility despite their mother's shortcomings.

Because one day whether he likes it or not he's gonna need those kids and try to reach out to them. I just hope its not too late by then.

You own na your own o. No matter how you hate them it doesn't change the fact that they are your kids. Besides what happened to you wasn't their fault. So either take care of them and gain God's favor or hate them and lose the joy of having kids. The choice is Urs.

r231:

she turned from a humble,innocent wife to a matured woman who always want to defend her right.

Effects of western civilization.

to some extent i could understand why the poster hates his children. . . . . . . . . . giving the fact that they are "part" of why they went abroad at the first place and may be seen as the reason for all the trouble.

i would also understand temporary insanity in which a fed up husband may lay his hands on his wifey. communication, counselling or simply a sound warning would have done the trick in making sure that it never happens again (especially if it was the VERY first time).

if she dropped him from that day forward and got him deported without trying to resolve the issue THEN i "guess" any man out there would hate her too.

LET ME BE CLEAR, i understand why his hate for the wifey will have him hate anything and everything around her. I DONT AGREE WITH IT though.

as for the wifey calling back, let her go %^&$# herself!

he can hate his children- it's a free world.

But he shouldn’t start stalking the kids via the media if they turn out well in future.

Happy is the day when a person can own up to his/her own shortcomings.

imo, if he has to be told not to hate his own kids, then they might be better off without him there.

God will really help men. For God's sake if u've issues with ur wife ur blood (children) should not suffer for it.
Give them dat fatherly love.

are u sure he is telling us the truth? what transpired 2 make his wife despise him so much?

Did the wife try to resolve the issue after or b4 deportation? Did she feel remorse after deportation? Did she try to communicate or always getting in touch? Did she send some cash while u were roaming the streets like a mad goat in abdject poverty?

If she totally neglected u, then you should hate the b i t c h, but the kids desrve your love and attention. If she wants to come back, pls 4give, reconcile but dont forget.

Dragging innocent children into some adult mess is just not-so-smart. Like someone said, he better own up to his responsibilities now before it's too late. Trying to meander his way into the kids' lives when they become successful is not going to happen because he'd only be a dead-beat dad.

His attitude clearly says that he has not taken responsibility for his actions. He does not want help. He is just happy being ignorant

See women activists!!

Didnt you guys read about the woman becoming over-bearing.

Its not surprising, when once you women become the bread winners, its like it gets into your head.

@ Poster

Let the man takes his wife back, cunningly bring her back to Nigeria, and beat the daylights out of her, then dump her ass while taking full custody of his kids. In Naija, she no get levels. Police here is his friend.

what haswhat happened between him and his wife got to do with his hatred of his bloody kids?

MRbrownJAY:

to some extent i could understand why the poster hates his children. . . . . . . . . . giving the fact that they are "part" of why they went abroad at the first place and may be seen as the reason for all the trouble.

I thought I should draw your attention to MrbrownJAY's post.

If he hadnt wanted his kids to be born in the U.S as against LUTH, he would still have a wife and a home.

I dont support him, but I understand.

still not even enough reason to HATE  his kids. even people who goes/went bitter divorce never hate/d their kids. imagine the effects on those children hearing that their father hates them because they were supposedly the cause/part why hes home.

he and his wife messed-up, thats their adult business not those little kids who didnt ask to be born into this world, nigeria or abroad

Like I said. I dont like it, but I understand. People are different.

I would advice him to serve his revenge now; revenge is sweet when served cold. Let her come back to Nigeria, make her taste a bit of his new good life, then dump the idiot. Women on this forum should be very careful or else they will remain Senior girls at 45years. A woman must be respected by her husband, but some women don't deserve a husband. That's why God turns a deaf ear when they bombard heaven with prayers. Because God knows they will turn the man's life to a living-hell after they've got what they want.

I just dont understand the hatred toward the children. Poster by the way what is the update?

My wife has been calling me for the past 6months now,it must have dawned on her that she has made a terrible mistake,but now i hate her and even the kids.

She must be mad!
Even if you were Bill Gates of Africa. . . I would not be calling youraaaaaaze!!!
The children will be with you too.
You may kill them if you wish.
They are yours too.

The only reason I would be calling is to make sure they keep in contact with you as their father. What you choose to do with them is gonna be ya damn business while I do my part. Good thing she called the police on your and had you deported!

MRbrownJAY:

to some extent i could understand why the poster hates his children. . . . . . . . . . giving the fact that they are "part" of why they went abroad at the first place and may be seen as the reason for all the trouble.

[. . . ] I DONT AGREE WITH IT though.

chiogo:

Dragging innocent children into some adult mess is just not-so-smart.

True.

tpiah:

he can hate his children- it's a free world.

But he shouldn’t start stalking the kids via the media if they turn out well in future.

Happy is the day when a person can own up to his/her own shortcomings.

[size=20pt]imo, if he has to be told not to hate his own kids, then they might be better off without him there.[/size]

WORD.

r231:

We were happily married,i have a good job and she was a contented full house wife.We both agreed to travel abroad to have our first child,then we also traveled for the second baby delivery and the trouble started.

She decided she doesn't want to come back that we should stay back,i left her there after we couldn't conclude hoping she will follow me,when i discovered she has made up her mind,i resigned from my job and joined her and our kids abroad because i love her so much and cant live without her.That was the beginning of my nightmare,she turned from a humble,innocent wife to a matured woman who always want to defend her right.

During a hot argument one day,i beat her up because i was tired of condoling her excesses,she ran outside and called the police,that was how i found myself in Nigeria.No job,no hope,no home.For 3 years i was roaming the street like a mad man,my family and friends rejected me because they felt i was foolish,i suffered and tasted poverty.

Then as God will have it,i got another job,better than the former one,i can boldly say im a multi millionaire now,God restored me.But now i despised women,i hate them so much,i sleep with them anyhow and doesn't give a hoot about them,i don't believe love still exist anymore.

My wife has been calling me for the past 6months now,it must have dawned on her that she has made a terrible mistake,but now i hate her and even the kids.



P.S. I AM NOT THE GUY IN QUESTION. . . . I AM JUST TRYING TO ADVISE HIM TO TAKE CARE OF HIS CHILDREN

TELL YOUR FRIEND

First of all, your friend[b] doesn't hate this woman.[/b] In fact he still loves her dearly. That much is obvious from his rant about her. The mere fact that you posted this here looking for other people's advice is proof positive of that.

There is a fine line between love and hate, sometimes we can confuse one for the other. You have strong feelings for her and those strong feelings should tell you you are still madly in love with her. It is only those we really care about that bring out such emotions in us.

Think about it. Do you have any friends you don't like? Do you care about what they say or do? Of course not! Because you don't care about them anymore. However, if you cared about them, then you will notice whatever they say and do. It is that simple. Therefore, the mere fact that you have these strong feelings towards the woman shows how much you still love her.

Reading your comments, it is your friend who has to change; not her. According to you, she has matured into a woman and because he did not like that, he beat the crap out of her? That was really selfish of him and a silly thing he did. The Police should have arrested him, locked him up and thrown away the key to his cell. Listen up! She is a mother now, she can't continue to remain the fresh faced girl that he fell in love with and married.   Once upon a time a time, she was a flat chested broomstick. Then God gave her hips, and bosoms etc. that turned her into who she was at the time he got attracted to her and he fell in love. If she had remained a broomstick, he would never have noticed her. That was a change she went through. Did anyone give her grief for that? No! Because that was a necessary change she had to go through to become a woman for him to marry. Now she has changed again because she has children and this time, the change is what it takes to raise and nurture her children. And he beat her for that? He is a very self-centered selfish man.

Tell your friend to go and look for this lady and beg her on his knees to forgive his bad behaviour. After that he should TALK to her. By talking, I mean LISTEN to her. Hopefully the two of them will re-discover the friendship and the love they once had for each other. Oh and by the way, whatever happens, he shouldn't abandon the children because he can't have their mother.