elmagnifico411:
Youre 20yrs old. You currently have 3 guys who are head-over-heels in love with u, and you've been there done that in past with broke guys who are also in the 'ex' factor. Tell, how old were u when u started dating guys? If I were one of those guys and I happen to know some these things you've said here, omo, i go jejely waka give u space.. E don tey wey u spoil and u still got a very one way to go.

I was 17, and i don't think I've said anything beyond the ordinary. Humans are just naturally pretentious and judgmental..

Ishilove:

So you're 20? No wonder.

Stay away from men until you're more emotionally mature to handle relationships.

Funny how when I'm 28 and ageing, this same person would attribute my manlessness to my being too selective when i still had time.

carammel:
I was once confused too when i was about 21 , i had three guys i didn't know whom to choose, fast forward to 10years after, i didn't marry any of them.
You will be alright.

Funny

thorpido:
Your can't date a broke guy though.Does he have a job,a skill or still in school trying to get a certificate?Does he show signs of hardwork,focus and commitment?
That's what you need in a man.


Anyway,you say you are young.Enjoy your confusion then.

Talk is cheap. Almost everyone is hardworking these days, unfortunately that doesn't always cut it.
And the truth is, no matter how much they try to deny it, women are naturally hypergamous in nature and would only go as low as dating someone on the same socioeconomic status but never lower.

In the kind of family i come from, the bar is way too high for me to bring a broke wannabe music producer with lofty dreams and ideas home as the person in seeing

nams77:
First thing I have to tell you, no one is perfect, nobody is a complete baggage. There are always defects and flaws. The question now is, can we live with those flaws?
Like someone posited up there, you do care about money period!
You can't change people. And marriage (time) amplifies people's character. So if someone is a jerk before marriage, he is gonna be a bigger jerk in marriage with time. You can take that to the bank. Before marriage there is so much dizzy feelings but after a lot of years, all those rush have died down, what is left is just that basic feeling of fondness, duty and commitment.
You seem fixated on looks. That also is a wrong parameter. Looks fade. Sometimes when I look at my self now and some pix of my undergraduate days, I just laff. Life has happened to me. I'm still good looking but...I'm no more that dashing athletic Guy lol
You need a man with a wonderful attitude not looks. Looks fade. So when the handsome look has been watered down by age and time what keeps u going?

U didn't mention the issue with ur ex so I can say anything. You best bet is the second guy. Most made men you see around started broke. What you should look out for is a man with drive and ambition. Someone who has plans and is a goal getter. enuf said.

Something tells me you are going to lose all three cos I don't see u going for the broke guy. All the same,. Best of luck!

I don’t think you can justify calling your present boyfriend immature if you are at this moment confused with making life decisions. Guess you ain’t matured either

I like this OP

I like your reasoning without sentiments attached, for a 20 year old I am impressed.

The broke guy might still make it but unfortunately nothing is guaranteed in life, you may leave them all and get no better person and you may stick with the broke guy and he may or may not be successful.

There is nothing like men scarcity

1StopRudeness:
There's no how this babe will not clock 35 with this her indecision problem, only u, 3guys for this men-scracity period...babe..na time oooo, e get time wey dem dey rush, small time now, u go dey look mirror say wetin dey happen naa
. There's no perfect guy anywhere...anytime u see a perfect guy don't deceive urself....someone molded him to that state..he's either married or likely to have woman behind him....
and throw away this ur I cannot date a broke guy mentality...broke is not a genetic trait or family name...it's a state that will pass....one can be broke now and the next minute he's not....so far he's not a layabout and aimless fellow with no ambitions or effort.
Take your own man and mold him..to what you want with paitience, good character and love....
No say I no tell u oooo...Shiloh no dey end for Otta oooo

You can date a broke guy, but don’t marry him unless you people first discuss and agree on reversing the traditional roles of financial provider and home maker/keeper. Otherwise, You will be be stuck with fulfilling two people’s roles for the rest of your life. All while being expected to be thankful and reverent/submissive for being chosen.

Mistakes young people make

Glay:
Talk is cheap. Almost everyone is hardworking these days, unfortunately that doesn't always cut it.
And the truth is, no matter how much they try to deny it, women are naturally hypergamous in nature and would only go as low as dating someone on the same socioeconomic status but never lower.

In the kind of family i come from, the bar is way too high for me to bring a broke wannabe music producer with lofty dreams and ideas home as the person in seeing

Indeed talk is cheap. I don't think you should date any broke guy.
Date guys that are well loaded.Marry one of them and live with whatever character he presents with.Many women are in such marriages.
Hypergamous noni.

Glay:
Funny how when I'm 28 and ageing, this same person would attribute my manlessness to my being too selective when i still had time.

28 is 'ageing'? This is funny

'This person' is someone who doesn't allow the society define the worth of a woman by her marital status. You're yet to fully discover yourself but you want to be in a serious relationship? At your age I was a walking mass of erratic hormones and intimate relationships with the opposite sex was the last thing on my mind.

Nobody is pressuring you about marriage but you're already pressuring yourself and foreshadowing to the great old age of 28. So you think which boyfriend to settle with is one of the most important decisions to make now? Will it kill you if you step back from everyone and introspect on what you truly want out of life and love?

Anyway I don't blame you. It is the kind of society you find yourself in.

Seahawk:
There is nothing like men scarcity

There is nothing like ur level of understanding of metaphor

Seahawk:
You can date a broke guy, but don’t marry him unless you people first discuss and agree on reversing the traditional roles of financial provider and home maker/keeper. Otherwise, You will be be stuck with fulfilling two people’s roles for the rest of your life. All while being expected to be thankful and reverent/submissive for being chosen.

Mistakes young people make

the first BOLDED should be made a sticker! She who has an ear! We Africans, Nigerians especially tend to ignore financial discussions in marriage. We undermine the fact that in marriage, money is an essential ingredient used to bake a cake and love is the icing.

The second, a rare price that comes with been stuck with a broke dude. If you know you know! Phew!

Glay:
Funny how when I'm 28 and ageing, this same person would attribute my manlessness to my being too selective when i still had time.

You started dating at 17 years old and which is too early to me personally. I am sure you must have had sex with your ex-boyfriends who you referred as broke men before you call it quit. If you had delayed dating and intimate relationship till when you are 21 years and above, you will have an idea of who you are and what you want. Rather than having trial and error relationship and sleeping around before you are 20 years.

My own is that all of you ladies shouting i can't date or marry a broke guy upandan, what happens when you date or marry a rich guy and along the line things go wrong, like he makes a bad investment or something that causes him to go broke, then what next?

At 20 you already have three boyfriends, plus plenty exes (been there, done that). I seeeeeee...


At 20 my only interests were going to class and playing football.

Abeg who get that picture?

edoman2016:

You started dating at 17 years old and which is too early to me personally. I am sure you must have had sex with your ex-boyfriends who you referred as broke men before you call it quit. If you had delayed dating and intimate relationship till when you are 21 years and above, you will have an idea of who you are and what you want. Rather than having trial and error relationship and sleeping around before you are 20 years.

It's possible to be in a relationship and be celibate.. but go off

yettymuse:
the first BOLDED should be made a sticker! She who has an ear! We Africans, Nigerians especially tend to ignore financial discussions in marriage. We undermine the fact that in marriage, money is an essential ingredient used to bake a cake and love is the icing.

The second, a rare price that comes with been stuck with a broke dude. If you know you know! Phew!

Hmmmmmm. If I say what's on my mind, I will be termed broke and bitter so I better keep quiet.

Kaybthaniels:
My own is that all of you ladies shouting i can't date or marry a broke guy upandan, what happens when you date or marry a rich guy and along the line things go wrong, like he makes a bad investment or something that causes him to go broke, then what next?

Let's just be watching them and enjoying our lives as men. E no kuku hard man to wait for the money to show.

I am enjoying the thread, really.

dating a guy is not poverty eradication programme and nobody knows tomorrow. life is uncertain the guy may be rich today and down tomorrow then what happens. all these girls don't learn they will continually the victim of the rich and be at thevreceiving end of the poor, marriage or relationship needs determination

Broke up with guy 1 today, feel like crap but I think I'll take to ishilove's advice and stay away from guys for now

Thank you all for your input

If you're serious forget about all 3 guys and find a fourth one.

Your experience will let you make a better choice. He may not be handsome or stinking rich, but hey you he would tick many boxes and you will be happy in the end.

There is nothing like loosing out on both ends. Remove that thought from your head fast!

Meanwhile, work on yourself so you attract the type of person you want. Bye