i cant even date a virgin let alone marry her, I HATE VIRGINS

Darlington, why do you hate virgins?

Darlington tell us why u are against.

@ esconedge, make it 14 instead of 12 !

why must I choose between a virgin and non virgin, what if i have no preference?

allonym:

why must I choose between a virgin and non virgin, what if i have no preference?

That shouldn't be a problem, simply say you are indifferent
everyone will understand.

Em........ let me think about it..NOPE

i meant in the poll - it can't really represent the range of decisions

ok, now i get it. you don't have to participate in the poll. just post your view or better still, stick with my own opinion and marry a virgin just kidding. i'm indifferent also!

Your state of virginity may not necessarily determine the success of your marriage. The Key is Love, Understanding and Communication.
God will prefer u being a virgin and marry a virgin (undefiled bed)

You will only earn more respect from your hubby if he "met u intact" and u keep the respect only if u remain faithful.

I was absolutely amazed when going through this thread. Seun, please try to be a little more humble in matters you have no experience with. A lot of people gave very sound advice, do not dismiss that so easily

My take:
* Experience counts
* Sexual compatibility is no myth
* The value of virginity only lies in some arbitrary moral code

You cannot possibly know the full range of what sexuality can be for you unless you've had experience with several partners. Once you want to settle and marry, you'd better know what you expect and require from your partner. Bad sex in a marriage is a recipe for disaster. If you marry a virgin or marry as a virgin, you're taking a big risk with your marriage.

For those that do want to take that path, I just hope it all turns out OK, but I pity you for possibly risking something as important as marriage just for some irrational moral idea

Dear nferyn,

Please check the timestamp on the messages; I feel really bad to be talked down to based on what I wrote many months ago.

I have changed my mind about sex. If any disease-free girl or married woman wants to have sex, let her come to me and I will do her. I will sample as many girls as possible in the bedroom and if I find one that pleases me on bed and whose character is tolerable, I will go ahead and marry her. Happy now?

Can you itemize the excellent advice you say you have found on this thread? I am afraid I can't tell which is which just by reading the thread, but I will like you to be more specific about the excellent advice you have found on this thread which you'd like me to follow.

Waiting for your response!

Seun:

Dear nferyn,

Please check the timestamp on the messages; I feel really bad to be talked down to based on what I wrote many months ago.

[SNIP]

Didn't take that into account. Sorry about what may read like harsh words. And really, I wasn't talking you down.
My apologies

Seun:

[SNIP]
Can you itemize the excellent advice you say you have found on this thread? I am afraid I can't tell which is which just by reading the thread, but I will like you to be more specific about the excellent advice you have found on this thread which you'd like me to follow.

Waiting for your response!

I will, but I'm not going to wade through this thread anymore this evening. That will probably be for tomorrow

no no....even thounh he is virgin when we met, he will not surely arrive pure to our wedding nite if he has the (mis)fortune to have a hot girl like me

Seun, are you serious that you're ready to have sex now? What really changed your mind? Can you share it with us, please? Interesting!

im a boy and had 2 times sex before meeting my partner. she is divorced with a kid. shes having sex since 13 and now shes 23. She hasnt regreted for having sex at the past- but i do.. when i think about her ex boyfriends-sucking their **** it drives me mad. i want to marry this lady and she was too, but this idea stays in my mind...

elpaso:

im a boy and had 2 times sex before meeting my partner. she is divorced with a kid. shes having sex since 13 and now shes 23. She hasnt regreted for having sex at the past- but i do.. when i think about her ex boyfriends-sucking their **** it drives me mad. i want to marry this lady and she was too, but this idea stays in my mind...

You had sex before and so has your girlfriend adn you still have problems with the idea that your partner has been with someone else before, even though you have done exactly the same. This does not make sense

Who cares these days? Not me.

i will prefer the guy that does not believe in pre-marrital sex, cos that is just the best thing to do. I will always cherish him and love him for the rest of his life. It is hardly heard of that a man has that type of goal. He should be a genuis and he will be the best. He will not be prone to any sexual Disease and he can not be compared to the other man who believes in premarital sex.

ok. im just saying that, if i knew this would hurt me ( the fact that shes been with other guys,) . i wished i didnt loose my virginity in the 1st place, so that it would be fair. sometimes i feel like a woman which lost her virginity before with another man,,,i feel like shes easier to cheat on me. i will put the facts straight. in the uk theres a high percentage of divorcions - most of them guys and women cheat each other. most of these had pre marital sex! while in Cyprus theres less divorcions. less and less cheating.this country population is relatively having sex after marriage . whats the cause?

You must be young... your views are very idyllic... 

snowsdream:

i will prefer the guy that does not believe in pre-marrital sex, because that is just the best thing to do. I will always cherish him and love him for the rest of his life. It is hardly heard of that a man has that type of goal. He should be a genuis and he will be the best. He will not be prone to any sexual Disease and he can not be compared to the other man who believes in premarital sex.

Have you also looked at the religious bias of both countries you are talking about.. I believe that also has a lot of weight in the points you're trying to make..

Regarding your views about your relationship with your girlfriend.. do you really trust her??.. because you believing that it'll be easier for her to cheat on you had no bearing to whether or not she's a virgin .. whether or not she's had pre-marital sex... that's an issue of trust..

elpaso:

ok. im just saying that, if i knew this would hurt me ( the fact that shes been with other guys,) . i wished i didnt loose my virginity in the 1st place, so that it would be fair. sometimes i feel like a woman which lost her virginity before with another man,,,i feel like shes easier to cheat on me. i will put the facts straight. in the uk theres a high percentage of divorcions - most of them guys and women cheat each other. most of these had pre marital sex! while in Cyprus theres less divorcions. less and less cheating.this country population is relatively having sex after marriage . whats the cause?

hey ok. as you say i am idyllic im 20 years old shes 23. i love her, but when im without her i always think about her past situations and im also feeling scared of her cheating on me. i never felt this before since we are 9 months together.

elpaso85:

hey ok. as you say i am idyllic im 20 years old shes 23. i love her, but when im without her i always think about her past situations and im also feeling scared of her cheating on me. i never felt this before since we are 9 months together.

Talk about it. the fact alone that she's open about her past to you already indicates a high level of trust in you. Her cheating on you would have nothing to do with this. Maybe you are insecure that you can't satisfy her? If so, get that stupid thought out of your mind. This is not a competition.

i feel confused sometimes and i dont know if im thinking properly.thats why i dont wanna make wrong decisions. i m not sure about feeling that i cant satisfy her, maybe she wants to try something different? i dont know how im feeling for a long time. she recently told me that if she wouldnt be with me she would probably be with someone else.

elpaso85:

i feel confused sometimes and i don't know if im thinking properly.thats why i don't want to make wrong decisions. i m not sure about feeling that i can't satisfy her, maybe she wants to try something different? i don't know how im feeling for a long time. she recently told me that if she wouldnt be with me she would probably be with someone else.

Indecision on these subjects is the last thing you need. She probably knows you're hesitating. That's why she says those things. Bring everything in the open. talk to her and then decide what you want. Don't just do nothing, because that way, you'll certainly lose her

yes i think talking to her is the right thing to do.. and explaining my situation and feelings. i m just afraid of her saying "if u dislike what i did at the past,which is who i am, then there isnt anything we could do to change it.-u need to find what u want" it sounds reasonable though.thanks.

Just make sure you're open to each other. Don't leave any stone unturned. A marriage is about trust. Without trust, you cannot make your marriage work. Strength

hmm...

i would not want a virgin on a very Hot night, she would spoil my day, the last i had one God , it hurt me real bad , my thingy was hurt for some days, they ain the best on a good day, but i dont mind any for marriage.

God will prefer u being a virgin and marry a virgin (undefiled bed)

You will only earn more respect from your husband if he "met u intact" and u keep the respect only if u remain faithful

.
This is the most reasonable post I've read so far. (Including some of Seun's and Einstein's.)

Einstein, I don't need to show any man love before he can 4k me ok? I don't want anyman, I want the right man.

And NO I am not in support of premarital sex.

This is the most stupid comment I've read so far.

Personally, I'd prefer to marry a virgin - Reason based on pophoney's post.