Have you ever been so broke that you just kept wishing the month would come to an end? Funny, isn’t it? I remember my first experience being broke. I was so out of cash that I had to depend totally on my cousin, whom I live with, for everything and soon, it was the night to payday. I couldn’t wait for the morning to come. I hurriedly went to bed, tossing and turning sleeplessly. My joy was almost full as the thought of being paid pestered me. I kept looking at the time whenever I intermittently opened my eyes from sleep but often got disappointed to know it was either just an hour or two past midnight. Finally, it was morning! I slid out of bed, an unspeakable joy plastered over me, “Today is my payday” I announced, dancing boisterously. My cousin turned to me, her eyes bleary from sleep and a quasi-smile gradually unveiling the dimple under her cheek. “Hmm, see you, ha-ha”, she chuckled, stretching herself on the bed. “Yes o, na today”, I clapped my hands, pouting and rolling my eyes. “Mad girl with her shakara, com’on go joor” she threw a wrapper at me, laughing at the same time. I dashed to the bathroom like a greased lightening, and in what seemed like a blink of an eye, I was out from it. “Ahn-Ahn, now now?” my cousin asked, her legs crossed in yoga style as she sat on the bed stroking her hair that was roughly scattered from sleep. “Yes o! No time to waste time” I winked, rapidly smearing my body cream over my body. “You sure say you wash that local government well well?” She asked, her mouth agape in laughter. “Before nkor, this girl you don mad o” I chuckled as I swiftly slipped on my panty. “Oh girl, calm down o, biko” her voice pitched as she laughed, throwing her head backward. “My dear, no worry, when I come back ehn, I go flex you. Na me talk am” I boasted, skillfully slipping into the short teal gown with pink embroidery and a dark plunging neckline that was especially left hanging separately in the wardrobe. “Abegi, do and com’an flex me sha” she pursed her lips and scanned my slender frame as I struggled with my pair of black loafers. “Babe, you’re a beautiful sweetheart” she shook her head, closing her eyes at the word ‘beautiful’ in a manner that showed that she meant it. “Suzy, you don start again abi” I blushed, dusting out the strands of hair on my dress from combing and consciously avoiding eye contact with her, “no o, I mean am o” Suzy responded, standing this time and stretching her hour-glass shape of a body. “Omo see shape” I blurted out, shifting my blush to her. “I pray o” she smiled, her supple chocolate skin gleaming in the morning light, “no worry ehn, make I collect this money. I go spoil you. In fact, them go hear us” I bragged, pouted, clucked my tongue then we both laughed. “Yes o! That’s my Diction Mistress” she held her two hands in the air and nodded her head severally. “Yeye girl, you no well o. Abeg, see you later” I scurried out of the house, my black handbag on my shoulders and my dress flailing at every step. “Enunciate Sachet as Sashay don’t say Sa-chet” My clear American accent resounded in the school as I swished through the classes like a car in full speed and soon, I was done instructing and found myself at the proprietor’s office. “Here is your pay for this month Miss Jane” he stretched a wad of cash in N1000 denomination. I smiled as I counted it to be sure it was up to 50pcs. “Thank you sir” I greeted. I began cat walking in the most confident manner, my waist swayed left to right and back as I walked to the park: my eyes, haughtily looking at admirers and planning how I was going to splurge with the money in my bag. I chuckled at every thought and soon, I was at the park. I stood waiting for a bus going to Ikeja. Buses whooshed this way and that, the sun was intensely bright and a crowd of people going to different destinations stood about me and running towards buses offloading and reloading passengers. The struggle to board a bus in Lagos was a tough one, more like a survival of the fittest with lots of pushing, stepping on feet, dragging and all manner of actions one who wants to board a bus can imagine. There was a baby crying in its mother’s back because of discomfort and a man clad in suit was holding a briefcase in one hand and shielding his face from the sun with the other hand. I had waited so long at the park that the feeling of unease consumed me. So, I made up my mind to gallantly fight like an angry lion whose cub has been stolen. As soon as the oncoming bus stopped to offload passengers, I sprinted towards it, pushing a lady and stepping on a foot of an elderly woman, my hands firmly holding on to the bus roof as I slid one leg into the bus and then the other and soon, I was in “see as you match me olori buruku” the elderly woman cursed “Mama no vex abeg” I pleaded. “Egbeda, how much?” a thin man asked. “O ti kpe o, e bo le” the conductor shut the door against the man with a briefcase and soon we arrived at Ikeja along. I minced out of the bus and continued my catwalk, each step following the beat of the song I was listening to through my earpiece and when I got home, I flung my bag towards Suzy. “Yes, the queen is back” she clapped, pausing the movie she was watching. “yes babe, I’m back!” I catwalked, “I’m going to spoil you today” I bragged, frenziedly shaking my body. “First, we go celebrate with correct wine before we go go out” my voice softened as I dashed in to get a bottle of wine. “Yes o, I trust you” Suzy supported. “50 kpali dey for my bag babe, I wan splurge” I slurred the word ‘splurge’ as I tried to open the bottle of wine. “in fact, make I spray you ego” I walked towards her to open the bag but realized that the zip was torn open. Instantly, the bottle of wine slipped out from my hand and shattered on the ground. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. The first thought that ran through my mind was my money. I quickly emptied the bag but found nothing “No money!” I screamed, crescendoing a fake laughter, the type one has when one does not know whether to laugh or cry. “Dem don kee me finish o” I clapped my hands, stamping my feet to the ground like a child that has been refused candy. “Babe calm down, tell me wetin dey happen for here, where the money na?” Suzy stood holding my hands. “ hoo-hoo” I hooted, throwing myself to the ground “50 tasand o, ono no meh ze?” I screamed, rolling on the floor. “e don do na” Suzy consoled. “e no go better for them o” I went ballistic with curses flying furiously in the air. “Oghene meh whu no” tears trickled down my cheek. Suzy’s countenance was expressionless. She didn’t know whether to laugh at my stupidity or to join me in cursing. She opened the bag inside out but found nothing. I sought for more tears but it seemed my tear gland had worn out. The room became an altar of eternal curses after I narrated my ordeal to Suzy. “Na me put am by myself inside my bag o” I recalled, my eyes widely opened. “I put am for my bag, zip the bag, waka comot for the office; I do shakara reach park. I con drag bus with people o only to reach house to see empty bag” I narrated, gesturing at every word. “My dear, na Lagos be this o. you must shine your eyes for everything whey you dey do” Suzy advised, patting my back as I sobbed. “Those pick pockets don do you” she laughed, jerking my shoulders playfully. I managed to overcome that shock and ever since then, I cling to my bag wherever I go.

And u expect me to read all that

Nice 1



The last part really got me laughing though.. I know that, i have been there but mine wasn't pick pocket, the money slip out of my pocket


Walahi i almost break any body heae wen talk to me that day


I com begin retrace my steps dey find money for ground,dey search even where i nor enter incase breeze blow some commot


Nice 1

Mavikolo2020:
Nice 1



The last part really got me laughing though.. I know that, i have been there but mine wasn't pick pocket, the money slip out of my pocket


Walahi i almost break any body heae wen talk to me that day


I com begin retrace my steps dey find money for ground,dey search even where i nor enter incase breeze blow some commot


Nice 1

Lol, I can only imagine how you felt