SATIRE 333

Our dear Atiku-lated and Obi-nation, my people are anxiously waiting for you to come to seat. We believe more generators would be imported into the country. More fuel sold and more nights of darkness. They will bring back our corruption and make us insane again because this country is too beautiful and too good for all of us to live just like that without corruption. All the Saints are no longer living in the village again, they are now in the government house. We are here to hear your campaign promises your royal president Atiku and Obi. We are waiting for those promises of when Nepa will stop taking our light and when fuel Will come down in Nigeria. We are waiting, we are joyfully waiting for your campaign promises just like every other person that came and gave us sanity some years back. Our youths are posting your name all over the internet. It was the same baked chicken promises that His Excellency promised us yesterday which we are enjoying now. Go up there so that you can make Our hundred naira note rougher because the way His Excellency has made it is quite different from how we wanted it to be. The hundred note has become one of the beautiful notes we have in Nigeria. It is so beautiful that everyone is talking about it. We no longer have to spend it but to safe it in our wallet waiting for rough ones to be out.

WAEC awarding certificates or even grades to an unqualified person that can pay his or her way out didn't start today neither did it start from Baba. This corruption was among those ones Baba said he was going to fight against but he fell into it. I've witnessed that a couple of times from friends and other people around me not only from Baba. I don't know why this Country is not quiet about his.. So, this fogery of certificate didn't start today! Baba, you have done no ritual or magic, it is the right thing to combat your opponent. Kudos to you, baba.

Most people killing or tongue lashing his Excellency now also have some piece of dirt glued to the brim of their robes. No one is righteous, no one! We are all corrupt in this bleeding land. So let's not start blaming the president for following the crowd of the cackling crowd are guilty of corruption. Let no one blame his excellency for that righteous Certificate he obtained the other day. We are all righteous in this land. No one is guilty.

However, my personal disgust to all the hullabaloo is that Mr. President has not given a space to be an exceptional example we can not all be proud and, by miles, deserve a second term in the office. He deserves a second term since every one is doing it except holy Jonathan who refused to do it. You people should leave Buba alone.

Whenever I think of him, I picture a young man who can't wait for his tenure to continue because he can't afford to let his party down. He has given his all and his all is far better in this country than the woman we had before...

He's not becoming a mockery by days. Yet, some few gluttons taking advantage of his young inexperienced age want him hanging there. Buba is healing our sick mother. Buba is fighting Corruption, Buba is the right man now he has his printed WAEC. he is the right man!

Disgust and empathy is not all you should have for him now. No more indignation.

Atikulated and Obination, we have seen baba has collected his WEAC certificate where mathematics went to katsina to buy cow and Hausa which was introduced by 1970's was included. Our mouth are weak to laugh. Our tongue stopped producing saliva from these twisted days we saw this country knitting together by herself. Indeed, there was a country called Nigeria. Dear Atikulated and Obination, this is your opportunity to wear Agbada to dance in the Eastern zone. Atikulated, you have done well by penetrating into the Eastern heart land to bring Obination. Be rest assured that igbos are really behind you. People said Baba and APC are the worst error in the land, do well to continue from where they stopped.

Let me return to the market place to see what the women and men are saying.

©John Chizoba Vincent
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