In today’s world of social media, the real meaning of friendship is fast fading away. It is becoming more frightening to claim to have friends these days because there are so many deceitful friends out there. The magnitude of this problem increases when people have something to gain from their association with you. Are you one of such unfriendly friends? Is your friendship with people built around the furtherance of your interests? Before you begin to identify those who claim to be your friend but are not really so, ask yourself if you are truly friendly. The wisdom of God in Proverbs 18:24 says:
“A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”

One cannot but be amazed by the lamentation of the Psalmist in Psalm 41:9, where he said:
“Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread, hath lifted up his heel against me.”
These words perfectly describe the typical character of an unfriendly friend. More often than not, they are very close to their victims. This makes one wonder if they deliberately got close to their victim in order to wreak their havoc. If that is the case, should we not avoid having close friends or any friend at all? I don’t think so; we only need to be prudent in our choice of close friends. An example of Jesus’ choice of associates should help us here. While there were multitudes of followers, He had seventy disciples (Luke 10:1). Among the seventy, He had His core of twelve disciples, and within in the twelve, He had three close friends (Mark 3:14, Mark 9:2). Finally, amongst the three, He had one beloved (John 19:26). Note that Judas lscariot was numbered among Christ’s close friends, so that His destiny as our Redeemer might be fulfilled according to the pattern indicated by scriptures (John 13:17-21).

We need to have friends, but the challenge is how to identify good ones. There is one antidote against choosing enemies as friends, which is prayer. Only God knows the hearts of men, and only He can shield us from treacherous friends. Also, the law of harvest applies in friendship. The Lord said you should do unto others as you would have them do unto you (Luke 6:31). If you are an unfaithful friend, some people will also be unfaithful to you. Friendship always comes with a price tag; therefore, for those you cannot relate with as friends, I recommend that you relate with them as brethren and co-pilgrims on the way to heaven, doing only that which is needful to help and assist them as God gives you strength.
Written by Pastor E.A. Adeboye.