Any great ideal to this?

I'm having a problem with my wife. She is gorgeous. When we met, dated, and married I thought she was way out of my league, but something has changed.

I'm having trouble getting turned on by her. I've turned down sex a few times with excuses just because I wasn't into her at the time and twice I've gone soft like 10 minutes into sex because it feels more like work than pleasure.

Here is the problem: She is still pretty, but she doesn't seem to care if she is "hot" or "sexy" when it counts anymore. She spends an hour a day, everyday, on her hair and makeup so she looks like a model when she leaves the house, but she has completely stopped shaving her privates, goes longer between shaving her legs, and goes longer between shaving her arms.

Also, I never get to spend time with her or "have" her when she is all dolled up. Every opportunity she gives me to have sex has her with freshly showered with wet hair, no makeup, and stark naked and damp hopping into bed.

Finally, the sex. Oh god, the horrible sex!
- There is no oral pre-intimacy, no manual pre-intimacy. (The crazy bush). She just lays there and invites me to suck her tits, then tells me to get on top of her. She likes it hard too. So, it is really like work.

I've talked about most of this with her, but it just makes her feel bad. She says she is too "Tired" to keep up with grooming, or to have exciting sex. And I know it is true. We moved and she has a longer commute. She works a stressful job. We have a 18month old. So, I can't really fault her for any of this,
But even when she rides me, she gets so tired so quickly that I feel like if I dont cum in 2 minutes she will have to quit and she will feel bad and start cry. So, I'm trying so hard, that it is like work again and there is zero chance of cumming.

None of it is really her fault but I still can't help but be unable to perform because she has lost the attraction.

I've tried many things to get her excited about sex again. Excited enough to make it a priority. I'm sure we can all remember a time when there was no day long enough to stop us from wanting sex.

I told her that if she would keep up the grooming, that she could demand oral from me anytime she wanted it and wouldn't have to return the favor. I told her I would go down on her 7 days a week and then she could just lay there and relax afterwards and not need to return the favor or even have sex. No luck. I could see she liked the idea, but in the end it just slipped by and didn't happen.

I really don't know what to do. Any ideas

Answer this before I can advise you. How involved are you with raising your 18 month old? Do you help her around the house or do you expect her to be super woman? Work cook clean take care of kids all this with no help and expect her to look like a model 24/7? I am not accusing you, just asking you.

If you truely love her then help her in working things out.

Why dont you groom her yourself? give her a good shave every now and then and trust me, u'll both enjoy it. She aint superwoman. you've acknowledged that yourself so give her some help bro,  

hmmmmmm!!!

@ Deal_ordea:

I'm getting a little confuzzled by your inconsistent threads / posts.

You say you're married, yet this was you too, and it was posted only today:

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=483441.msg6428739#msg6428739

This was what you posted:

deal_ordea:

My girlfriend and I recently started talking about having an open relationship. We've been together for 5 years now, . She is my soul-mate, I knew when I saw her, She was the "1". We've been through a lot together these past years and there is nothing I wouldn't do for her, she is my "OXYGEN". We are at a point in our lives were we are content and secure with our feelings for one another. So Open-Relationship(triple sin) topic came up one day in convo, I'm striaght and I haven't been with a woman since we met. My feelings and desires to be with another woman have surfaced again and I can't fight the feelings. One day I went and told her what I needed in our relationship. So she suggested I find a gf and she could have her try every once in awhile with another guy(Safe Sex Always!!!!!). Would you consider that an Open-relationship? And what is your opinions about them. , Make your comment a reasonable one, PEACE OUT.

Are these real-life scenarios, or merely hypothetical situations?

@ Siena,

He probably found the first scenario somewhere on the web and decided to make it his!!!

@ Poster, please go get a job and stop wasting our time here. Nonsense.

Siena!!

Nairalands P.I

@ Poster

Weed is a Hallucinogen. Its known by many names including e'gbo, claru and gbana, and looks like this:

Although it may seem really cool to smoke this, it actually dulls your senses;

When you are in this mode, you suffer from skitzophrenia and temporary insanity;

If this isnt cured fast, you may end up like this;

You have exhibited all the classic signs of a drug user as has been proven by our resident P.I (Private investigator) Siena. 

ATTENTION: _{This is a paid advert by the Anti-useless threads association of Nairaland. Smoking canabis depletes your brain cells making you think up useless threads that have no benefit to neither the OP or anyone. Please call the Toll free no. for free counselling on Drug abuse. 0803-STOP-E'GBO.}

@okija juju, No wonder your name be juju, Who dey smoke e'gbo with canabis, after you don do money rituals finish and he no con workThe thing con turn you into something else, sowwy, God, You are looking at your creation!!!!!Purge out,

@all, for those who leave reasonable advice thanks and for those who think dem be Anti christ for this NL!!!thanks again. i always receive this in my inbox and i though the best way to hear advice from people is through MY NL PEOPLE,

deal_ordea:

Any great ideal to this?

I'm having a problem with my wife. She is gorgeous. When we met, dated, and married I thought she was way out of my league, but something has changed.

I'm having trouble getting turned on by her. I've turned down sex a few times with excuses just because I wasn't into her at the time and twice I've gone soft like 10 minutes into sex because it feels more like work than pleasure.

Here is the problem: She is still pretty, but she doesn't seem to care if she is "hot" or "sexy" when it counts anymore. She spends an hour a day, everyday, on her hair and makeup so she looks like a model when she leaves the house, but she has completely stopped shaving her privates, goes longer between shaving her legs, and goes longer between shaving her arms.

Also, I never get to spend time with her or "have" her when she is all dolled up. Every opportunity she gives me to have intimacy has her with freshly showered with wet hair, no makeup, and stark unclothed and damp hopping into bed.

Finally, the sex. Oh god, the horrible sex!
- There is no oral pre-intimacy, no manual pre-intimacy. (The crazy bush). She just lays there and invites me to suck her bosoms, then tells me to get on top of her. She likes it hard too. So, it is really like work.

I've talked about most of this with her, but it just makes her feel bad. She says she is too "Tired" to keep up with grooming, or to have exciting sex. And I know it is true. We moved and she has a longer commute. She works a stressful job. We have a 18month old. So, I can't really fault her for any of this,
But even when she rides me, she gets so tired so quickly that I feel like if I dont come in 2 minutes she will have to quit and she will feel bad and start cry. So, I'm trying so hard, that it is like work again and there is zero chance of cumming.

None of it is really her fault but I still can't help but be unable to perform because she has lost the attraction.

I've tried many things to get her excited about sex again. Excited enough to make it a priority. I'm sure we can all remember a time when there was no day long enough to stop us from wanting sex.

I told her that if she would keep up the grooming, that she could demand oral from me anytime she wanted it and wouldn't have to return the favor. I told her I would go down on her 7 days a week and then she could just lay there and relax afterwards and not need to return the favor or even have intimacy. No luck. I could see she liked the idea, but in the end it just slipped by and didn't happen.

I really don't know what to do. Any ideas

You have a serious problem her my friend!

But could you clarify the issue raised by Siena? We dont want to be doling out unwanted advice

sounds like your looking for an excuse to be a Player.

I swear, this Okija don Kolo!!! Rotfl!!!

Okija_juju:

@ Poster

Weed is a Hallucinogen. Its known by many names including e'gbo, claru and gbana, and looks like this:

Although it may seem really cool to smoke this, it actually dulls your senses;

When you are in this mode, you suffer from skitzophrenia and temporary insanity;

If this isnt cured fast, you may end up like this;

You have exhibited all the classic signs of a drug user as has been proven by our resident P.I (Private investigator) Siena. 

ATTENTION: _{This is a paid advert by the Anti-useless threads association of Nairaland. Smoking canabis depletes your brain cells making you think up useless threads that have no benefit to neither the OP or anyone. Please call the Toll free no. for free counselling on Drug abuse. 0803-STOP-E'GBO.}

[size=20pt]DEATH, [/size]

.

Siena:

@ Deal_ordea:

I'm getting a little confuzzled by your inconsistent threads / posts.

You say you're married, yet this was you too, and it was posted only today:

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=483441.msg6428739#msg6428739

This was what you posted:

Are these real-life scenarios, or merely hypothetical situations?



@ Poster, pls come and clarify this issue oh!

Welcome to the club!
Why do you think MOST of 'we' sleep online. . .despite professing to be HAPPILY MARRIED?
Some of us have 2000 IDs to fool others we are 'loving' our spouses offline. . .reality shows and all! HA!

It is only natural. . . I HAVE TO FORCE MYSELF TO HAVE H-ORGA-ZZMS WITH MY HUSBAND. . . .UNLESS I AM DRUNK!

BUT WITH A ONE-NIGHT-STAND. . . .IT IS DY-NO-MITE!!!!!

Even the 'HOLY GHOST' cannot help a stale poohsie or blokos!

Sorry dia! NOTHING TO DO WITH LOVE! . . . OR LACK THEREOF! JUST NATURAL!!!

You learn to cope! Period!