Before some of you go ahead to conduct a praise and worship session, scamper in a bid to hurriedly get a bible and finally develop humble attitude like we are in a solemn assembly expecting pastoral sermons, I must warn you that none of those holier-than-thou pretence will exist here as I intend to speak my mind on the issue at hand from a real-life point of view. In any case, who doesn’t get infuriated when we buy a book on, say ‘Mode for Making More Money’ only to be greeted by “2 Corinthians 9:6 says; but this I say, he which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully. For goodness sake, isn’t the knowledge of this the reason why we bought the book in the first place

Anyway, we all must agree that amongst many of the well known facts, Brad Pitt and kim Kardashian are the emblems of a perfect body; You don’t have a phone till you possess the Blackberry; Smoking drinking and bursting ‘katofis’ (illicit sex) is what makes a man; We are young so we must party hard; Insurance is the best policy so if you aren’t married, with only one you must not tarry; and Virginity is a lack of opportunity. Did I hear someone say yes? VERY GOOD!!! You are the vulnerable, unconfident, self-doubting, lowlife, follow the crowd, no mind of his/her own and insecure person my most recent aggravation is targeted at. [NEVER CLOSE THE PAGE OH! Oya no vex. No be you I de follow talk na. De read de go you hear? Oooooooooșe]

I really would have loved to elaborate on why people unwisely engage in ‘Mr. and Mrs. me too’ but how would I ever possibly know what to say considering the fact that while others were obsessed about improving their looks, I saw nothing wrong with my six ribs and caved stomach [lngkm… na wetin I hear say some people de call am]; while the world rocked baggies, I wore cotton; when NOKIA was in vogue, I used Sagem; when cabs were befitting, I rode in Keke NAPEP; and as some people were saying (just as some of you are also saying right now) that my youth was boring, I kept saying, show me your life long benefits or remain bleeped up. PERIOD!!! So, can I say why so many people do some of the stupid things they constantly do? NO! Can I say why there is no need for anyone to engage let alone continue in stupidity? YES WE CAN! (Sorry, I meant yes I can) and that I intend to do.

First of all, some of you need to stop feeling sorry about your looks and for heaven’s sake, STOP BROWSING WWW.LOOKBETTER.COM (or whatever site it is that you bloody infatuated things go to). These things will only make you feel more like shit. Forget that body part you so detest simply because everybody is teasing you about it. If the utterer of negative words look better than you do, the privileged idiot should show gratitude to God rather than bother people with an opportunity he/she had no hand in bestowing upon his or herself. In any case, everybody suffers from imperfection-though some more obvious than others, but EVERYBODY does. Even the super heroes that we men create suffer the same plight. Let’s face it, Iron man has issues with his chest, Professor X is cripple, Dare Devil is blind, Incredible Hulk is ugly, Kick Ass is an asshole and the list goes on and on. Quit your undue feeling of insecurity and learn to love yourself. Better still be conceited. So, I’m a baby faced, 6’5” tall, skinny fella? LOVE ME OR HATE GOD. You better pick up the same attitude and stop whining over irrelevances.

Secondly, trend, craze, fad, vogue, fashion… these things will only render you a patient of anxiety thereby condemning one to wretchedness. It amazes me when I see people living their twenty something lives so obsessed and panicky about purchasing that ‘latest thing’ before reuniting with some old folks, attending an event or going back to school so much so that all their thought is preoccupied with who, where and how they can get money to satisfy their useless desires. I will never forget one young dude who didn’t want to grow old back at high school. The animal dishonored his mother by openly making mockery of her simply because she didn’t buy him the exact pair of shoes, jeans and top he wanted to wear for ‘barbecue night’. You see him as a big boy? I also see you as a fool (the arrogant chump. At least him mama buy am one set… na my hard earned pocket money me I use buy one yeye Hilfiger pants abi na tracksuit dem de call am self).

In the last two weeks, I’ve been consulting people on ideas as to where I can invest some excess N 150, 000 I have in the bank (come… make nobody call me say them get issues wey dem go like use money resolve oh! Even if I be director for motherless babies home, I no be ya mama). Have I invested the money? NO! Why? Because most of the people I’ve consulted either think I’m crazy to still be using a broken N72 when I can comfortably afford a Blackberry or I’m insane for not fixing ‘alloys’ on my car. Someone even tagged me as being childish for not drinking, hanging out and never wanting to be outside my house after 8pm. The most interesting thing? Most of them start their suggestions with “if to say na me”. You know what that implies? I’m a boring bloke with ‘ballery’(money) and they? A broke ass big boy/babe. That’s exactly what ‘Mr. & Mrs. Me Too‘ does to you. MAKES YOU BROKE. They always force their way into getting what everybody wants but never have money to get what they need. Did I hear “it’s a lie”? sharrap!!! You know how many people with BB wey don flash me? (Make I no call names for here oh!) Person with pimped car don ask me for fuel money before. But you know what gives me joy? When they give me that look of; ‘you stingy lying bastard’ each time I say no. That must mean that they know I actually do have the money. YES KE!!! Now, is it not wretched for a person with so called prestige to be begging for money? And it’s the anxiety of not being caught while broke by those they are forming for that makes them to come to ‘I don’t send’ people like us. Considering the fact that I’ve always done my own thing with a middle finger raised and a poison tongue lashed at whoever dares to voice an objection, I will never know if being in vogue saves you money (ehn ehn! fool yourself. ‘Buzu’, comment that it does) but I know for a fact that you don’t lose money for not following the crowd.

Lastly, STOP DOING SHITTY THINGS. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not necessarily saying its wrong (Ohhhhh yes I am) to visit plastic surgeons, use everything that springs up with the season, rock your youth like crazy (drink, smoke, do drugs, party hard, have illicit sex… whatever it is you children do) and so much more but in all honesty, I think whatever you do that is done with the hope of being accepted by those doing it leaves you done for (STOP THERE!!! I don patent the proverb…usage without my permission is tantamount to being fired by thunder). STOP DOING SHITTY THINGS SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU ALLOWED YOUR INSECURITY DEMORALIZE YOU TO A POINT OF SUCCUMBING TO PEER PRESSURE. DO THINGS BECAUSE YOU PERSONALLY WANT TO. Be who you want, not what they are. Let those that love you do so because of your personal personality. It makes more sense for less people to truly love you for who you are than for more to hate you for who you’re not (if you like try to be God, some people will still dedicate their lives unto ensuring others don’t think you exist).

Regret, feeling sorry, envy, copycat, and man/woman of the moment will not win anybody any accolade. If you live your life, then that’s how you are made and who you are made to be. That way, you earn the right to live everyday with both confidence and an attitude of, you either LOVE ME OR HATE GOD… Insecurity is for fools.

© Yox Avid’pen (2010) To see my other works, visit http://www.facebook.com/note.php?created&&suggest&note_id=125894204121658&id=121286764584382#!/pages/Yox-AvidPen-the-Pen-of-a-Passionate-Persona/121286764584382?ref=ts

Mr AvidPen, I like your writing, really, I think you have a message, and a very good sense of humor. However, it's quite long, not everybody would have the patience to read an article that long. I understand that you have a lot of things to say and you prolly don't see how ur writing would be complete without everything,(I write also, and it totally kills me when I have to remove a paragraph or sentence) but when u look at the piece critically, you'll realize there are some parts you can do without. I'll check ur page on FB, two thumbs up. BTW, U do realize that some people get drunk because they like it. . .and they want to fc.uk up their liver, and you forgot 2 add that Hitgirl is perfect .

YoxAvidPen,i have to say that this is quite a write-up and as such you deserve an applause,more like 3 gbosas for you.I have to say that all what you wrote is quite true.I mean why try to be what you're not,it makes no sense but people(the crowd) do not see it that way.They call it living in the moment.Just that while doing it,they make those not on the bandwagon feel like outcasts,fools,inferior individuals and non-entities.And you still see them making nuisnces of themselves in trying to keep up with the Joneses.
BRAVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!