This is truly a question that boggles my mind. I have girlfriends both married and single (in relationships) and  this issue always rear its ugly head.

Seems there is a battle of the sexes when the issue of submission arises.

Personally I think it  takes a woman of strength to truly submit to a man. It isn't easy to take the high road especially when u disagree. It is difficult to subject yourself to a decision taken by your husband (especially when u disagree and feel might affect you negatively).

So truly women your opinions are required:

1. What is your definition of  submission in a marriage/ relationship?
2. Why the resistance?
3.How does being in submission make you feel?

I am really kind of spoilt and like to get my own way, that`s why I submit to my husband totally.
Submission is the most powerful weapon a woman has against a man.
Submission more or less means, "his will be done", "his wish is my command".
Very simple just get your wish and will to be that of your husband and it will be done.
How easy it is to get a man to do what you want, when you let him take all the decisions.
When you show a man love and respect, he would always try to please you.
I can get anything from my husband. I know how to ask, when and how long I have to ask.
If need be I go down on my knees and beg.
I never do anything without his approval and permission, I never say no to his wish.
When you have a good husband that is no problem at all.
My husband is like my father, mother, brother, sister, best friend, lover, all in one.
A part of me. The only person on earth that takes a decision and I trust fully that it is my best interest.
I not only submit to him, I virtually worship him, if it is allowed to use this word for a human.
He is my pride, my dignity, my hold and my comfort.
In the past he has taken some decisions, that were different from my wishes, but they always turned out to be the right ones.
In the past he sometimes gave me the go ahead but advised me it was a wrong move, I still went on with it, only to realise he was right.
then I have to go back to him to sort out the mess, even if it is only lending a consoling ear.
Now when he starts with his, you can , but I don`t think it would work out.
I just drop the idea immediately. Because he would be right in the end and he is the one to iron out the mistake for me or together with me.
I think another aspect of submission is being able to prevent disagreements, quarrels and heated arguments.
the easiest way to do this, is with simple words like sorry and please forgive me. It works wonders.
We have never had a serious problem in our marriage because we both know how to make use of those words.
Later when the heat is over one can talk rationally about the situation

I believe it is a general trait in all women. Most women do not like to submit to their husbands not because they want to be proud or rude, it is just a natural phenomenon. The bible also testify to that, by saying women, respect(submit to) your husband and husbands, love your wife, meaning, it requires a personal committment, grace and work on a woman to submit to his husband, likewise men, requires work and committment on their parts to love their wifes, it is natural.

When a man treats a woman very well submission comes naturally

Most men do not like a woman who is yes sir master, yes sir master it bores them and they want a little challenge but in respectable manner to view issues from a woman angle

mutter:

I am really kind of spoilt and like to get my own way, that`s why I submit to my husband totally.
Submission is the most powerful weapon a woman has against a man.
Submission more or less means, "his will be done", "his wish is my command".
Very simple just get your wish and will to be that of your husband and it will be done.
How easy it is to get a man to do what you want, when you let him take all the decisions.
When you show a man love and respect, he would always try to please you.
I can get anything from my husband. I know how to ask, when and how long I have to ask.
If need be I go down on my knees and beg.
I never do anything without his approval and permission, I never say no to his wish.
When you have a good husband that is no problem at all.
My husband is like my father, mother, brother, sister, best friend, lover, all in one.
A part of me. The only person on earth that takes a decision and I trust fully that it is my best interest.
I not only submit to him, I virtually worship him, if it is allowed to use this word for a human.
He is my pride, my dignity, my hold and my comfort.
In the past he has taken some decisions, that were different from my wishes, but they always turned out to be the right ones.
In the past he sometimes gave me the go ahead but advised me it was a wrong move, I still went on with it, only to realise he was right.
then I have to go back to him to sort out the mess, even if it is only lending a consoling ear.
Now when he starts with his, you can , but I don`t think it would work out.
I just drop the idea immediately. Because he would be right in the end and he is the one to iron out the mistake for me or together with me.
I think another aspect of submission is being able to prevent disagreements, quarrels and heated arguments.
the easiest way to do this, is with simple words like sorry and please forgive me. It works wonders.
We have never had a serious problem in our marriage because we both know how to make use of those words.
Later when the heat is over one can talk rationally about the situation

ur sense too much!HMMM WISDOM!

i think some women have such resistance because the original intent of that submission have been skewed by men and many have used it to manipulate, maltreat,abuse, and enslave their women all in the name of "God, said, woman be submissive to your husband"

secondly, some women dont understand the whole picture of the that word "submission" in the way God intended it. espcially, in this 21st century where women are striving for self-indepence, self-reliance, gender equality, so the use of the "submission" to these kind of women have become synonymous to be a slave, giving men extra power(which is aganist their self-indepence belifefs). they feel like, submission shouldnt be used in this century because everyone is equal and so should be marriage. "every thing and anything a man can do, surely a woman can do definitely better". women have suffered enough in the hands of men in the past century when they believe women were submissive to their husbands.
some people believe in mutual respect. respect me, i respect you etc so no need for "Sir master" those kinds of things


so,  i think both genders have misinterpreted, misunderstood, misuse and over skewred that word SUBMISSION. God never intended for men to use submissiveness to oppress and suppress their wives neither did he wanted the women to feel that he was chauvinist (as some women have claimed).

so, while i cant blame the women wholly or the men wholly either for the misuse of the word. however, one cant help but notice that men intend to use that word only when it favors them. forgetting also, that its God, who said "women be submissive to your husbands" and also said "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her"

when a man treats her wife as God instructed i dont think a woman will resist. but in many of the cases, when the woman is submissive she gets nothing in return. many men abuse that word

personally, i dont see the problem with submissiveness  as long as the man understands Gods intent of it and when its NOT TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT.He gave Women the Power and gave men the Authority.  in other-words, men are the HEAD of the family and women are the HEART of the family

as the sayings, goes the men wears the trouser in the marriage but women tells them which one to wear.

but until, BOTH genders study and understand that word, there will continue to be that resistance.

doesn't submission come with love? correct me if i am wrong.

Submission to me is an ancient word! What I beleive in now is mutual respect!

Those the men used to go out to work and pay all the bills, while the women stayed at home and tended to their needs and those of the children. Come to think of it, if you live and feed off a man, why would you even want to question his authority?

These days, things have changed. Women now bear a gerat deal of responsibility in the family and so it's only fair that they get a say as well.

You go out and return from work same time your husband does, probaly bring in more cash than he does, and then still bow and worship at his feet. It's not fair you know!

So I say, mutual respect! He musnt have his way in everything just because he's the man. You see the last time I checked, he was telling me to shut up cos he was paying the bills, so now that I'm paying some of it, I get a say too!

Somebody is telling a joke LMAO

hehehehe. . . big joke for that matter

one thing, i hate about this particular command is that men who never smell church, or open the bible in their whole miserable life are the first to selectively quote this chapter in the whole bible because it suits them




i really what Pope Pius said here about this:


"The submission of the wife neither ignores nor suppresses the liberty to which her dignity as a human person and her noble functions as wife, mother, and companion give her the full right.

It does not oblige her to yield indiscriminately to all the desires of her husband; and his desires may be unreasonable or incompatible with her wifely dignity.

It does not mean that she is on a level with persons who in law are called minors.  And minors are ordinarily denied the unrestricted exercise of their rights because of their immature judgment and not having enough experience".



1) it does not mean violation of her rights according to her dignity as a human person;
2) it does not mean for her to submit to her husband’s desires blindly, totally, and completely because his desires may be unreasonable and not compatible to his wife’s dignity;
3) it does not mean she is to be treated like minors who are not able to make mature judgment.

~Sissy~:

i think some women have such resistance because the original intent of that submission have been skewed by men and many have used it to manipulate, maltreat,abuse, and enslave their women all in the name of "God, said, woman be submissive to your husband"

secondly, some women dont understand the whole picture of the that word "submission" in the way God intended it. espcially, in this 21st century where women are striving for self-indepence, self-reliance, gender equality, so the use of the "submission" to these kind of women have become synonymous to be a slave, giving men extra power(which is aganist their self-indepence belifefs). they feel like, submission shouldnt be used in this century because everyone is equal and so should be marriage. "every thing and anything a man can do, surely a woman can do definitely better". women have suffered enough in the hands of men in the past century when they believe women were submissive to their husbands.
some people believe in mutual respect. respect me, i respect you etc so no need for "Sir master" those kinds of things


so, i think both genders have misinterpreted, misunderstood, misuse and over skewred that word SUBMISSION. God never intended for men to use submissiveness to oppress and suppress their wives neither did he wanted the women to feel that he was chauvinist (as some women have claimed).

so, while i cant blame the women wholly or the men wholly either for the misuse of the word. however, one cant help but notice that men intend to use that word only when it favors them. forgetting also, that its God, who said "women be submissive to your husbands" and also said "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her"

when a man treats her wife as God instructed i dont think a woman will resist. but in many of the cases, when the woman is submissive she gets nothing in return. many men abuse that word

personally, i dont see the problem with submissiveness as long as the man understands Gods intent of it and when its NOT TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT.He gave Women the Power and gave men the Authority. in other-words, men are the HEAD of the family and women are the HEART of the family

as the sayings, goes the men wears the trouser in the marriage but women tells them which one to wear.

but until, BOTH genders study and understand that word, there will continue to be that resistance.

~Sissy~:

one thing, i hate about this particular command is that men who never smell church, or open the bible in their whole miserable life are the first to selectively quote this chapter in the whole bible because it suits them




i really what Pope Pius said here about this:


"The submission of the wife neither ignores nor suppresses the liberty to which her dignity as a human person and her noble functions as wife, mother, and companion give her the full right.

It does not oblige her to yield indiscriminately to all the desires of her husband; and his desires may be unreasonable or incompatible with her wifely dignity.

It does not mean that she is on a level with persons who in law are called minors. And minors are ordinarily denied the unrestricted exercise of their rights because of their immature judgment and not having enough experience".



1) it does not mean violation of her rights according to her dignity as a human person;
2) it does not mean for her to submit to her husband’s desires blindly, totally, and completely because his desires may be unreasonable and not compatible to his wife’s dignity;
3) it does not mean she is to be treated like minors who are not able to make mature judgment.

You have said it all. I read something similar in a pamphlet that came with my booklet "Daily Bread". It also said that submission as the bible notates does not mean that one person lords over the other.


@Poster
What many don't understand is that submission comes naturally to a woman when you treat her with love and respect. Is that not why the bible commanded men to love their wife like Christ loved the church? Do most naija men really understand what it means to love another person like Christ loved the church? It means unconditional love. What I see in most Naija marraiges is conditional love. If you love your wife like Christ loves the church, you will not sit there and watch your family members rain abuses on your wife for whatever reason. If you love your wife like Christ loves the church, you will not marry a second wife all because the first wife could not bear you a son or children. If you love your wife like Christ love the church, you will not be running after university girls and committing adultry all over the place putting yourself and your spouse at risk of catching an STD. If you love your wife like Christ loved the church you will not act like a brute showing little love, affection, respect, or consideration for your wife. If you love your wife like Christ loved the church you will not come on an online forum and bad mouth and bash your wife to strangers you probably will never meet in real life rather than going to her and trying to talk things over and sort out your differences. If you love your wife like Christ loves the church you will not come home after a hard days work and just sit down and stretch your legs while your wife who also works full time outside the home and contributes to the bills slaves away in the kitchen. You will get up and help out any little way you can so she does not get burnt out. If you love your wife like Christ loves the church you will learn to show appreciation through words and actions every so often even if its a peck on your wife's cheek followed by the words "Honey appreciate you. Thank you for all you do." That is what motivates women to please you or as you prefer to call it, submit. I have no problem submitting to hubby because the man is too good and takes that command of loving me like Christ loves the church seriously.

Unfortunately, from what I have observed, the average naija man can care less. You want submission yet you people are constantly on a bashing tirade of the women. I have never experienced so much HATE for women like I have seen on this forum. What have I not read? "Women are necessary evil", "women cannot be trusted", "should I put my will in my toddler son's name?", and the women bashing threads are endless. With that kind of a mind set, I doubt you will be able to show love to your wife like Christ commanded you to. Most of you naija males convince yourself that it is not a good thing to show love and affection to women because in your little minds, you are convinced that a woman will walk all over you if you do. Women are wired to crave affection like men crave S3X. So if you act like an aggressive jungle monkey towards your wife, where will she find it in her heart to submit to you? Don't you know that loving your wife selflessly as Christ commanded and your wife submitting to you go hand in hand?

So here is my stance, the day you males learn to genuinely love your wives [b]un[/b]conditionaly like Christ loves the church will be the day you will no longer have to worry about whether a lady will submit to you. You see how the poster Mutter talked fondly of her husband? Well, do you think if her husband treated her like crap and showed her no love, affection or respect she will be come online and speak so fondly of him? I don't think so. Once you people have learnt to treat women with love and respect (something naija society/culture does not seem to encourage), then you can come back and talk about submission. Chikena!

WORD!, Mutter, u really have a good mentality and attitude toward marriage, and God has blessed you with a good man. I pray our men will learn from this. It doesn't take away your lordship over your wife by loving her THE WAY CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH. If only you can come off that high horse and truly understand what that sentence means, your marriage will be your testimony, envied and emulated by others.

@post

and what happens in cases where the lady is submissive and respectful, yet the guy takes it all for granted and sees it as a perfect platform for him to misbehave and do anything he so wishes

^^dat one na bad luck . .good question though.

The mistake most people make about submission is that they view it as your wife being a slave to you. She has no opinion on any issue and every issue has to be decided upon by the man BECAUSE HE IS THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY. But according to a preaching I listened to, a man is the head while the woman is the neck that supports the head. A woman has to be submissive but not in the sense that her opinion doesn't count or she has no say in anything.

Most of these man that want submissive wife that have no say in the home usually have girlfriends that are bossy, meant and rude. At times these girls might be way younger than them, and when they get home they are looking for a submissive woman.

~Sissy~:

i think some women have such resistance because the original intent of that submission have been skewed by men and many have used it to manipulate, maltreat,abuse, and enslave their women all in the name of "God, said, woman be submissive to your husband"

secondly, some women dont understand the whole picture of the that word "submission" in the way God intended it. espcially, in this 21st century where women are striving for self-indepence, self-reliance, gender equality, so the use of the "submission" to these kind of women have become synonymous to be a slave, giving men extra power(which is aganist their self-indepence belifefs). they feel like, submission shouldnt be used in this century because everyone is equal and so should be marriage. "every thing and anything a man can do, surely a woman can do definitely better". women have suffered enough in the hands of men in the past century when they believe women were submissive to their husbands.
some people believe in mutual respect. respect me, i respect you etc so no need for "Sir master" those kinds of things


so,  i think both genders have misinterpreted, misunderstood, misuse and over skewred that word SUBMISSION. God never intended for men to use submissiveness to oppress and suppress their wives neither did he wanted the women to feel that he was chauvinist (as some women have claimed).

so, while i cant blame the women wholly or the men wholly either for the misuse of the word. however, one cant help but notice that men intend to use that word only when it favors them. forgetting also, that its God, who said "women be submissive to your husbands" and also said "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her"

when a man treats her wife as God instructed i dont think a woman will resist. but in many of the cases, when the woman is submissive she gets nothing in return. many men abuse that word

personally, i dont see the problem with submissiveness  as long as the man understands Gods intent of it and when its NOT TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT.He gave Women the Power and gave men the Authority.  in other-words, men are the HEAD of the family and women are the HEART of the family

as the sayings, goes the men wears the trouser in the marriage but women tells them which one to wear.

but until, BOTH genders study and understand that word, there will continue to be that resistance.

~Sissy~:

one thing, i hate about this particular command is that men who never smell church, or open the bible in their whole miserable life are the first to selectively quote this chapter in the whole bible because it suits them




i really what Pope Pius said here about this:


"The submission of the wife neither ignores nor suppresses the liberty to which her dignity as a human person and her noble functions as wife, mother, and companion give her the full right.

It does not oblige her to yield indiscriminately to all the desires of her husband; and his desires may be unreasonable or incompatible with her wifely dignity.

It does not mean that she is on a level with persons who in law are called minors.  And minors are ordinarily denied the unrestricted exercise of their rights because of their immature judgment and not having enough experience".



1) it does not mean violation of her rights according to her dignity as a human person;
2) it does not mean for her to submit to her husband’s desires blindly, totally, and completely because his desires may be unreasonable and not compatible to his wife’s dignity;
3) it does not mean she is to be treated like minors who are not able to make mature judgment.

@ Sissy





Bravo, encore
It is as if i wrote it word for word are you sure you didn't thief my brain, I am feeling lightheaded all of a sudden, and no, the 12 rolls of i sampled today has nothing to do with it

Some men really do not deserve to be treated with respect and submission, but it is important to fulfil ones obligation. Two wrongs do not make up a right.
In some cases the man turns around, appreciates the woman and reciprocates. In some cases the marriage is no longer possible because the conditions become inhumane.
Over 14 years after my first marriage broke up, my husband still blames me for his being unhappy. He has been married four times since then and is still not in a happy marriage.
He says I spoilt him so much that he can never find happiness with another woman. The women also all complain that he kept on comparing them to me, talking about me. If he could turn back the hands of time, he would have done that many times over.
It is very sad to see how homes break up sometimes just because boundaries are being overstepped.
However in most cases the equation balances itself pretty well.

^^right. . .i dey feel u.

Ujujoan:

You see the last time I checked, he was telling me to shut up cos he was paying the bills, so now that I'm paying some of it, I get a say too! 

You see, This is where marrying a loser comes in , if you end up with a loser  issues like these will definitely arise

@Topic

Being submissive does not mean you can't voice out your opinion when the need arises, you have a say of you own as well. But staying behind a man and letting him know that he is incharge not minding our income helps a man feel worthy of his position as the head of the house.

Men are babies, you have got to treat them as such with care, respect their views and pamper them silly. When I want to go ahead and handle some project by myself I'd always seek his opinion first, men always feel threatenend if their wives does not share their views with them.

If he says no, he does not want me to do it then I just sit my backside down no stress, I am not even interested in sorting out any gender issues, infact he knows that I rely on him for a lot of things especially the difficult things like, checking out why the the TV connection isnt working, stuffs that has got to do with electricities e.t.c , sometimes he even jokes about it and tells me that I dont wanna die but want him to thats why i never deal with some electricity issues It is just a feeling of being the much weaker vessel.

Whenever he travels I feel so completely alone, whenever he is around me I feel safe and I know that there is someone God has set aside to protect me. My rock he is, I stand on that rock without fear of falling off cos I know he wouldnt let hurt come to me, my husband is the pillar(after God) I hold onto , he is the pillar of my home, the pillar that keeps me standing without falling off, the pillar I hold onto in times of mourning, sadness, sorrow, happiness and joy

GOD specifically created the shoulders of men for we women to lean on and cry on, His shoulder is created to be tough and I just go there when I know i cant go any further, it does not mean I cant tell my husband what to do, all I do is stand behind him and show him the right place to go to, whilst being incharge at the same time.

I can only teach my kids what life is all about from my feminine perspective but my husband is there to show my boys how to become strong men and tell my daughters what to expect from men when they grow up

My life would be a misery if i did  not have such a man beside me, and i have no problem with being submissive 24/7 , 365 days 52 weeks

Some men rock

Its easy to tell those women here with happy marriages and those tired spinsters decieving themselves with grammar.

Mutter over to you.

~Sissy~:


when a man treats her wife as God instructed i dont think a woman will resist. but in many of the cases, when the woman is submissive she gets nothing in return. many men abuse that word

Sissy when you as a woman treats your man right he will treat you right, women have the more work to do in a relationship or marriage than the man. you have got to set yourself in the right place, some men refuse to do things for you not because they dont wanna do it but cos they wanna test you to know what you'll do


Marriage is a school of no graduation, both couple will keep learning from each other everyday, and whether we like it or not we directly or indirectly test ourselves

I use myself for example, when I begged for a new car he refused, meanwhile the old one I was driving has already gone down the heel, you know reckless some of us women drive he completely refused I begged for over 2 months, the dude refused, wetin I no use beg? , now listen , I have a career of my own I might not be able to buy a lamborghini but i sure as well could afford something nice, I said ok, there were times when i had to drive to work with his(though stole the keys) , and let him find his way around with a taxi, he'll just laugh it off,t hey are times i did hop on taxi's and buses infact i got so good with the bus timetable and could tell you where or when it departs, 4 months after my first asking I got what i asked for as a gift, i did not contribute a dime but i got one, infact he surprised me that even till date when i think of it i just let a tear or two fall down my eyes

what im i saying in essence, men are not fools they know what they are doing infact they are the best shakara makers and the most attentive listeners on earth

And I keep telling you's looking for a partner , men these days dont go about asking women questions on their first dates, they get all the information they need just by simply talking to you, every word that comes out of your mouth gets registered by this men , there and then they know within themselves if you are good enough to be a wife or gf

Dont be deceived , men do not ask questions one by one this days, they just come up with a topic and take it from there, be slow to speak and quick to listen


Be submissive, appreciate your men, tell them they are the best thing that has ever happened to you let them know you love them unconditionally, everyday go down on your knees with him in prayer and thank God for giving you such a man as a husband.

The most difficult man can be tamed by a woman just by getting yourself on the right channel, the heart of evry man is right on the palm of the wife, how well you massage that palm , how well you control it in the right direction, how well you protect, guide, take care of and love it evryday determines how far that man will go for you.

The dude will do everything possible to make you happy, the sky is not even gonna be his limit when the loving starts in return.

jennykadry:

Sissy when you as a woman treats your man right he will treat you right, women have the more work . . .

. . . infact he surprised me that even till date when i think of it i just let a tear or two fall down my eyes

Majority of naija men know they can treat women like doormats and get away with it. What with women being instilled with mantra's such as:

"Overlook it, you are now married"

"At least you have a ring on your finger"

"At least you are somebody's wife"


And if you catch him with another girl, the typical response is;

"The devil is a liar, Its the devil that don't want your marriage to work"

"The girl jazzed him"

"You are the one in the marital home"

"At least he is still leaving you money at home"

"support him"

"love him"

"smother him to death"



Na wa oh, and you pipu say naija women are not submissive enough, lol


Oya jenny confess, your eyes were just watering because you knew the next item on your "list" was almost within your grasp

Wow!

What a lovely 22nd century man u got urself, jenny. His picture says it all

Submission is an act one does willingly. That makes the difference.
A woman that has no choice is hardly being submissive she is being forced to obey.

mutter:

Submission is an act one does willingly. That makes the difference.
A woman that has no choice is hardly being submissive she is being forced to obey.

Well putting things into perspection, Nigeria is a nation whereby 95% cannot marry someone whom their parents don't approve of, because they need their parent's blessing and also need to have their parents on ground incase the marriage develops a hitch, this is kinda a good thing but technically means the only choice here is obedience.

Hence wifey too has to recognise her lowly place in marriage and obey without fail and obey without questionning, if she wants a good home.

That is the sad truth about some marriages but even then many women have a real problem with obedience. Even when they have no choice they still make things difficult.
That is why one should never advice a woman to leave her marriage. She may not be able to fend for the kids and herself adequately.
In that case better be one man`s donkey, than everyone`s donkey

Dang Mutter, you really feel helpless don't you? Why be anybody's donkey at all. Good Golly. What is this crap about not having an opinion because your husband has enough brain for two. Why not just get a lobotomy and get it done with. A woman's brain must just be for fancy. My husband does not make all the decisions and he never will. If he wanted to he would never have married a woman like me. Any man who will not be happy because he is not the one making all the decisions really has a problem and any woman who thinks that the man should "believe" that he is doing all that is just lazy and weak. My two cents

well if a woman leaves her husband because he is harsh and goes out into the world without being able to cope, she has got a real problem. In a bid to fend for herself and the kids she  might be forced to swallow allot of humiliation from people outside, even have to sell herself. So better  stay in the marriage.
You need to know your own situation might not be similar to many other women.
My husband knows I  a very strong personality with allot of drive so all the more he appreciates my submission towards him.
Have you ever heard of  being diplomatic. If you practice it at work why not at home. 
Do you think because a man married you, it gives you a right to speak and act without control or consideration.
A man is the head of the home.
There is no compromising that. As the head he has to make or sanction all decisions.
If you cannot submit to this you are weak and lack discipline.
Anarchy, chaos and disorder do not require any special qualities

Very interesting contributions. Thanks everyone.

What does diplomacy have to do with having a brain. The reason why the so called women you are saying have "harsh" husbands are forced to suffer is because of advice like yours. If they had their own individual things going then they would not have to wait for a man to be there for them to survive. Any sensible person who reads half of what you write should have no faith in you. Talking about because a man decided to marry me then , Are you even aware that you are a human being. Maybe your husband has not told you yet so until then that is debatable. What nonsense. I should bring my husband here to read this drivel. There are some people we know that are just like you. My moms bestfriends mother raised them on her own after her husband left them for an educated woman. She did not sell herself. She worked with her hands and somehow managed. All her children are educated and she did not humiliate herslef by hanging on to a man's balls that did not think she was good enough.
My husband married me as I married him. Nobody forced me and I was not looking for someone to pay my bills. I was looking for a life partner not someone to validate me because I cooked a piping hot pot of pepper soup and told him how he was lord of all he surveyed. I know very many women like you who are single today and still lying to themselves. You have not the slightest idea wht submission in marriage is. You are just simply hoping that if you do not act too smart he will keep feeling the need to protect you from the big bad evil world out there that is so bad for a woman to help herself SMH