As a young lady, I was surrounded by women who affirmed me. However, many of them were also caught up in the culture that largely prescribed how women are supposed to behave. In my experience, this meant that I was good enough if I did nothing to jeopardize my chances of getting married. I was considered worthy if a man showed serious interests towards me. So I learned how to comport myself and be domesticated enough for prospective suitors. The kind women who often affirmed me made sure I fit into this frame, leaving me confused and more than a little bit rebellious. By the time I started dating, it seemed as if I had unconsciously lost the battle for my self-worth and independence.
If I could go back in time, there are the three things I would have loved the women from my childhood to have taught me,

Your Voice is Valuable
I have always been perceived to be strong. And with my strong sense of justice, I also had a tendency to use my voice loudly in situations I considered unjust. Yet, I sometimes found myself holding back in certain situations because I feared my behavior was not publicly acceptable for women. Society believes that ‘as women’, we have to fight differently for what we want, either by being subtly subversive or overtly massaging the necessary male egos around, or submitting and accepting the status quo.
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