goodmorning40:
It is not advisable to go into marriage without the consent of both families. If your family does not agree delay the marriage until u get their consent through gentle persuasions. Getting pregnant like some people adviced here will only make things worst. Marriage is not as blissful as you are viewing it now, it is a long rough road, u will need all the support u can get, being abandoned by your family through marriage is like travelling on a long road of emotional torture and pains.

That is not to say that marriage success depends on family consent but love is truly not enough for marriage.

Your parents have been around much longer, they have seen it all so their fears might not be unfounded. Consider their advice very closely.

Marrying a disabled man is not a ticket to bad life after all many married able bodied men but still live as ones with disabled husbands becos they do virtually everything by themselves alone. You just have to be sure you are ready for the challenges

Parental consent and prayers are good but I tell you they do not sustain a marriage. Your will does...

goodmorning40:
It is not advisable to go into marriage without the consent of both families. If your family does not agree delay the marriage until u get their consent through gentle persuasions. Getting pregnant like some people adviced here will only make things worst. Marriage is not as blissful as you are viewing it now, it is a long rough road, u will need all the support u can get, being abandoned by your family through marriage is like travelling on a long road of emotional torture and pains.

That is not to say that marriage success depends on family consent but love is truly not enough for marriage.

Your parents have been around much longer, they have seen it all so their fears might not be unfounded. Consider their advice very closely.

Marrying a disabled man is not a ticket to bad life after all many married able bodied men but still live as ones with disabled husbands becos they do virtually everything by themselves alone. You just have to be sure you are ready for the challenges

Parental consent and prayers are good but I tell you they do not sustain a marriage. Your will does...

As long as the guy is independent and his disabilities didn't affect his manhood. My dear Marry him.

AreaFada2:

Plenty Amstel Malt or whatever you drink my dear.

Her parents are more concerned about "what people will say". Not really about whether the guy is independent or not.

Society that is largely superstitious, ignorant (even the educated) and biased cannot see beyond parochial inclinations.

Does everybody has to climb many stairs daily even? Shouldn't we start thinking of the physically challenged when designing houses and offices to ease their movement?

Of course it is always about “what will people think”
The very same people that also worry about being judged by other people.
Ps
I am a Chardonnay or Chablis type of girl.

Carrywent:
Hello dear Nairalanders, please I need your help.
.
I created this monica account just to hear your advices.
.
There is this Guy I am dating, he is a disabled but not that serious. He uses wheelchair but hardworking. We both studied in the same secondary School. We were Besties, we latter turned lovers. He is an idealist, he is also independent. Before you ask his occupation. He was an author and letter turned musical producer. Like i said he is independent. He relocated to Lagos after he finished studying music production and established his own studio in Lagos.
.
I love him so much. He also promised to marry me and which I have also agreed to. But we are waiting after my graduation then we keep off the marriage. The problem here is my parents those not agree in our relationship. And they are seriously fighting it. Please I need your advice

Your case is sensitive

First of all, love is what conquer everything we do in relationship, I believe you so much love and cherish this guy and you find happiness in him.

How deep is the love this guy have for you?

Tell him what your parents feel about you getting married to him, there is nothing to hide at this stage, seek his opinion on what he thinks both of you should do about it

If he feels bad and suggest you meet a family friend that can talk sense to your parents then both of you are on the same lane

But if he feels less concerned about your report, just keep watching him and if he takes no action then its time to pull out

Secondly, don't marry on sentiment and don't marry out of pity

Thirdly, have you considered what the future holds for both of you
Are you capable of running the home since his disability has limited him, without messing around to meet up

You are the one that have the best opinion for yourself not even your parents

But make sure you guys plan well so that in the future you don't run to your parents or siblings for financial assistance

bettercreature:
Just be very careful because you are about to make a life time decision.I am not in a position to advice you but wont allow my daughter to marry a person with disability(its impossible).It sounds cruel but that is my choice
USE YOUR BRAIN BEFORE ITS TOO LATE

plz ensure to not allow your child get married ever in life.. if he/she ends up disabled.
Don't give to ppl what you can't take

A lot of humans find it hard associating the disabled and elderly with sexual activities hence OP’s predicament.
If the story is true, the parents probably feel the husband can’t live to OP’s sexual expectation of which will cause issues later down the line. In their minds they are saving OP from a world of hurt.
As a parent I unashamedly confess that I will do the same.
This is a case of actions over words when it comes to turning their minds around. Last-last na to elope with your lover if them no gree.

IamD18:
I'm afraid you'll have to choose between your parents and the guy.

But remember; LOVE is not enough in a marriage. Common sense is important.

Well spoken

Just pray that God will convinces them

It's better you stick to the one you love, you can convince them on why you love.

MissRaine69:
So the young lady in question made it clear that he is independent. He got to this stage of his life without this lady physically assisting him so why would she start bathing and carrying him around? What makes you think he cannot climb stairs?
The bottom line is as a society we are biased against people with disabilities. We assume some external forces are at play, it’s contagious and disabled people should not enjoy life as we do for one reason or the other. That is just ignorance at play.
To conclude it is your life, there is no guarantee that marrying an able bodied man will yield better results.
It might take a bit of time to convince your parents but persevere with this.
Society in general needs to look at disabled people the way you look at this man. View them as people not just focus on the wheelchair as some comments seem to be doing here.

you 're such a wise lady. sadly most nigerians approach issues, selfishly.

Its because the the guy is not rich that's why
If to say the guy is rich this drama no go happen

Apination:
Point of correction, he has a disability not, he's disabled. It's the wrong and outdated impression about people with disabilities that your parents are still working with, make them understand through concrete methods of his ability to cater for you in the future first. And then enlighten them on the need to have an objective view to life, not paying attention to stupid people whom I guess they feel will make jests at them

Difference in the first sentence please?

None.

It's about semantics.

Some activists prefer "disabled person" Some prefer "people with disability"



See
https://www.disabled-world.com/definitions/disability-disabled.php

MissRaine69:

Of course it is always about “what will people think”
The very same people that also worry about being judged by other people.
Ps
I am a Chardonnay or Chablis type of girl.

Very correct.

Wow! You have a taste for Burgundy wines. We should go to Burgundy on wine tasting visit at some point.
The city of Auxerre is lovely. Or Dijon, another lovely city.
Chablis wines have less flavour & more acidic.

I slightly prefer the flavoured fruity nature of Chardonnay. Goes great with fish or poultry meals. Yum yum!

Carrywent:
Hello dear Nairalanders, please I need your help.
.
I created this monica account just to hear your advices.
.
There is this Guy I am dating, he is a disabled but not that serious. He uses wheelchair but hardworking. We both studied in the same secondary School. We were Besties, we latter turned lovers. He is an idealist, he is also independent. Before you ask his occupation. He was an author and letter turned musical producer. Like i said he is independent. He relocated to Lagos after he finished studying music production and established his own studio in Lagos.
.
I love him so much. He also promised to marry me and which I have also agreed to. But we are waiting after my graduation then we keep off the marriage. The problem here is my parents those not agree in our relationship. And they are seriously fighting it. Please I need your advice

Can he knack? If yes, go ahead.
I know a lady who just married someone with a hunchback. My pastor asked why and she said sje loved him. That if he was alright and they married and then tragedy strikes and leaves him crippled will she then leave him?
Follow what God says. U wont be the first

INDUSTRIALFAN:
stop it man. I have a disabled cousin who is married. He never needs help for anything not even to go up the stairs. He drives himself.

Okay..congrats...

Disable get level...shébi u know

Kenekingisback:
Maybe right...

Because this government's policy is not supportive of the disabled. You can not do the job of government

My boo doesn't have time for government he is independent. Not even his parents gives him, he gives them and he gives people instead

infogenius:
Op.
Congratulations as u have someone who wants to marry you and vice versa.
Between now and ur graduation, engage faithfully in prayers. Prayer is the key.
Between now and then, God shall settle u with the best answer to this issue.
All the best.

thanks you

mikejj:
good one i celebrate you..but ask yourself the bitter question...can you live with a disable person for the next 100 years of your life...??

yes

lordimmaogidi:
Serious!!! If those Men On wheel Chair F*ck you ehhhh,You will be in heaven...

lol

SixDividedByTwo:
sounds like you really love him and he loves you too. if you leave him you might not find another love like him again and you're going to regret it.

I love him so much

INDUSTRIALFAN:
stop it man. I have a disabled cousin who is married. He never needs help for anything not even to go up the stairs. He drives himself.

mine does everything for himself

Tadhg:

It shows. It's written all over your post and it's heartwarming. Forge ahead with the relationship, girl. Cheers.

Thank you

Carrywent:
yes

alright dearie..i pray ur parents understand your heart..wish u well

0ubenji:
plz ensure to not allow your child get married ever in life.. if he/she ends up disabled.
Don't give to ppl what you can't take

Thanks for this

speedyconnect3:


Difference in the first sentence please?

None.

It's about semantics.

Some activists prefer "disabled person" Some prefer "people with disability"



See
https://www.disabled-world.com/definitions/disability-disabled.php

Thanks.

Carrywent:
mine does everything for himself

tor... Being disabled doesn't mean they are helpless. Most of them are even more active than most normal people.

1StopRudeness:


Okay..congrats...

Disable get level...shébi u know

my cousin is paralysed from the waist down. He had polio as a kid. He has always been in a wheelchair for as long as I've known him and they now have a daughter.

INDUSTRIALFAN:
tor... Being disabled doesn't mean they are helpless. Most of them are even more active than most normal people.

Thanks for your noticing

Carrywent:
Hello dear Nairalanders, please I need your help.
.
I created this monica account just to hear your advices.
.
There is this Guy I am dating, he is a disabled but not that serious. He uses wheelchair but hardworking. We both studied in the same secondary School. We were Besties, we latter turned lovers. He is an idealist, he is also independent. Before you ask his occupation. He was an author and letter turned musical producer. Like i said he is independent. He relocated to Lagos after he finished studying music production and established his own studio in Lagos.
.
I love him so much. He also promised to marry me and which I have also agreed to. But we are waiting after my graduation then we keep off the marriage. The problem here is my parents those not agree in our relationship. And they are seriously fighting it. Please I need your advice

If you are compactable wit him go ahead
I once had a music teacher in second shcool he got married to a cripple lady today if you see her in her jeep today you wil never believe

Only make your parents understand you

AreaFada2:


Very correct.

Wow! You have a taste for Burgundy wines. We should go to Burgundy on wine tasting visit at some point.
The city of Auxerre is lovely. Or Dijon, another lovely city.
Chablis wines have less flavour & more acidic.

I slightly prefer the flavoured fruity nature of Chardonnay. Goes great with fish or poultry meals. Yum yum!

Well there is a surprise....
Depends which Chablis you try but I like them.
A Sauternes is my guilty pleasure
I am slowly building a collection
Mostly reds as they keep longer