They say the perfect relationship doesn’t exist, and maybe they’re right. But happy and healthy ones do. Maybe they’re not flawless, but they’re meaningful—and they share certain characteristics and positive qualities that make them so.

Here are 17 things all strong relationships have in common:

1. Love
“When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance.” –John Lennon. Bring a little love into your life and the lives of others, and watch it work miracles.

2. Devotion
So if, God help us, we are ever tempted
to ditch our marriage when it’s lost its glow,
let’s give the thing our finest spit and polish—
and, having learned our lesson, not let go.

3. Kindness
How kind should you be? As kind as you possibly can. Who should you be kind to? To everyone you come in contact with. A kind word goes a long way. Perhaps somebody is having a bad day and you don’t know it. They are really feeling down and you offer a kind word. Maybe it’s just a friendly, “Hello, how are you today?” Maybe it’s just taking a minute or two to listen to what somebody has to say. But your few moments of attention could turn somebody’s day around. You might make them feel more worthwhile and important.

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