I am a 24years old man who has been seeing this lady of 32 years old.I met her when I was 23, The first time I saw her, she was so sexy and very attractive, I have always have this thing for girls older than I am. Something I wanna try. I came to this country. After few month, I met this attractive lady, blonde, green eyes and very sexual and good looking. After few months, one day she says she has something to say to me, I sat down and she gazed at me for a long time and wouldn't say anything. I asked her what's wrong, but she refused to talk. I was scared and I began to ask, what have you done, did you kill someone, she said no, did you infect me with any disease, she said no, my mind came down, I then ask her, are you marries and she said yes but she is currently fighting a divorce. She told me also that the doctor said she can never have a child. Someway somehow, I believe miracle happens sometimes, we tried so many times to have a baby together while she is in this marriage. She told me she doesn't sleep with these guy anymore. Oneday she went for diagnosis and they had to carry out an operation on her where they totally took out the womb because something is causing some complication which the doctors thinks can cause a cancer. After the operation, she came to me and after we made love, she told me her intension was to come breakup with me but she couldn't , after then, this relationship continued until now as we write. She is still married, we are talking about marriage. She wants to leave her husband for me, because she doesn't love him and she is not attracted to her. I am a young black man. I am having some issues with embassy of the country I am in and i could go back to Africa to fix this then come back. Few days ago, she asked us to move in together. She expected me to give an answer and say yes, let's move in. I told her, I will think about and that caused a big problem because I said I want to think about it. I am having some little minor situation in this country which can hinder me from getting another residence card if I don't act fast. It's not a big problem because I did not commit any crime. Few days after I said Ok I we can move in together which honestly I am totally against the idea. I told her that I might have to travel to Africa to get this issue fixed and I will be back. But she said she doesn't trust me that I will come back that I want to leave her. If I decide to stay and it happens I cannot resolve the issue from this country and i am unable to get another residence card, what can she do. She suggested that she can marry me, yes of course but she has not even start the divorce process yet and you know what people, I am totally not into it that a woman is leaving a her husband for me. Right now, this is the story of what is happening to me.

First, she cannot have a child for me, except by fertilizing my sperm with some other woman's egg having same characteristics as her and she will be the surrogate and we can have a child that way of which I will be genetically connected to the child but she will not.

Secondly, She is still married and leaving with this man everyday and if we are to move in together, she won't be able to help me even as much as she is ready to marry me because her divorce process will take 12-15month and then I am already illegal in this country.

Thirdly, I am still a student and I don't have huge financial source of income but she is quiet Ok and she is claiming she wants to sacrifice everything for me.

So people, she has been dating and cheating with me for 10months. What should I do? The way am going is it the right one for someone my age. Will it be a good idea to destroy someone else marriage. She claims she loves me and I can see traces of that in her and I have something for her but my other mind and soul is totally against it. I need advise from my Nigerian people. Please Help.

I am going to give you answers in 2 categories: nice everyday boy and the omo-boy.

NICE BOY
-You were wrong to go out with a married woman
-It seems you are there to read your books and not to pursue women
-You were wrong to sleep with a married woman
-Leave her alone unless you can wait for a divorce to come through.

My conclusion,you are so wrong in all scenes better live your life and find another single woman.

OMO-BOY
-Marry her and become a citizen no time.
-You didn't think about the consequences before so why should it be a bother now.

I dont know which category you fall into just continue reading till u make up your mind

Bookmarked

Dat's a tripping shyth dude!

I 'll start by lambasting you, then giving you advice. then, you decide which is right for you.

offence No 1.Now, how on earth did u continue with the woman when she told you she's married? that's where your predicament starts from, bleeping someone's wife is completely wrong, in the eye of God and man. ask yourself frankly, if some young guy is blowing your wife, are you going to tell him "" ride on! dude, bleep her hard for me am gonna buy you a champagne when u're through?" hell no.
offence No 2. She told you  she can't have a child, can't you see she was just using you as a guinea pig, to see, if u can get her pregnant? of which you fell for, as my Naija guys will put it, you fall mugu?

Offence No 3: She suggests that she moves in with you which you agree! WTF! have you imagine the husband tracing her to your house and pulling a trigger on your backside while u guys are bleeping? you're playing with fire dude!

Solution
1. Take a time out in a park or a quite place and engage your whole being in a deep thought process
2. Clear your entire systems from the lust after older women cos that's what landed you in this mess. the lady is older and more experience than you, so it was very easy for her to manipulate you to her devilish  scheme. Make up your mind that henceforth, you'll be dating ladies 5 years younger than you; ladies that can look up to you for guidance not the other way round.
3. Forgive yourself for the sin of bleeping another man's wife and make up your mind to stop it finally.
4. Finally, and which is the most difficult part; convince your self that this lady manipulated you and is out to destroy your future  and it's high time you sent her packing, tell her in clear terms that YOU CAN LIVE WITH HER NO MORE! SHE SHOULD GO BACK TO HER HUSBAND.
5. Then and only then will you have a peace of mind and face your study and future squarely

From what you have said, i was made to understand that you only lust after the lady. Are you a nigerian? Because if you are den you probably know that the marriage would be a disaster. Another thing is that you are a young guy and no guy would like to marry a lady with pregnancy issues not to talk of she been older than you. Just don't break her heart instantly but try to make her understand reasons for your actions for you never can tell;she might decide taking vengeance. So wish you all the best of luck my fellow nigerian ,

I am so blinded that I don't know what to do? Every now and then she cry for any little thing. She wants to check my phone. She gives me a lot of gift, money, she just want to make sure I am ok all the time. I appreciate all this things she does for me, riding in the nice car. But what if all these things she does for me are blind  folding me? She all the time ask me if I need money. She doesn't want me to talk to any girl. She did lied to me, she said she was going to divorce and that she wait for me to give the command and she will divorce and I told you point blank that I will in no way interfere or be a reason for her being divorce and she said yes, that I am the reason why she will leave her husband and that when I am ready , I should give the command and it will be done and I will love her until she dies. There are many times she wanted to tell the husband but I said no, because I don't feel right with it. She wants me to be responsible for her divorce and I know God will not be happy about that. I told her look, if you want to divorce, go ahead and do it but I will not be a part of it and I am so happy I did not give any such command. I have go too far for sleeping with a married woman for months and all her friends know about this. All her friends and even her mother. Is this a trap?

deciding to stay with her knowing her inability to hv children is ur problem and for u to decide. But do u want to be at her mercy? u better focus n sort out ur residency issue first b4 gettn carried away.
The other question you should ask yourself is what exactly r u gettn out of this relationship as opposed to what you might get from another? All the commitments u r forced to make so young n at ur prime is questionable what next she will suggest u quit ur job to be with her 24/7

To me i think you should send same write up to ur parent, so der we know wer to start from. Rubbish boy

she offered to pay for my pilot school one time. When she told me, it sounded like a dream. Do you know how much pilot school cost right from Private down to the final one because I told her my dream is to become a commercial pilot. Should I believe that? She said she can save up the money in 3 years. People, what now?


Really, I never knew in the beginning she was married . she is not wearing a ring even until this moment, she has no one on. When she told me she is married and will be getting divorced , I believed her. She is so nice to me and so many things for me. What should I have done? This can happen to anyone.

pash:

To me i think you should send same write up to your parent, so der we know wer to start from. Rubbish boy

See finishing na mortal kombat be this? you wan kill im parents shey?

Charming:

she offered to pay for my pilot school one time. When she told me, it sounded like a dream. Do you know how much pilot school cost right from Private down to the final one because I told her my dream is to become a commercial pilot. Should I believe that? She said she can save up the money in 3 years. People, what now?


Really, I never knew in the beginning she was married . she is not wearing a ring even until this moment, she has no one on. When she told me she is married and will be getting divorced , I believed her. She is so nice to me and so many things for me. What should I have done? This can happen to anyone.

follow your heart, you are not the first and neva will you be the last!!!

well is like u're obsessed with this lady and is like leaving her is a near impossible task to you. Let me tell you; you have your whole life ahead of you, don't allow the goodness of an amorous woman to lead you to a regretful end.

If you believe in God and your ability, you can go to the best pilot school in the world.

You may think that marrying her is the best way to pay her back for her kindness; it's not, the best way to pay her back is to offer her a good counsel to change her cheating ways, and return to her husband.

If you do the mistake of marrying her, SHE WILL CHEAT ON YOU AS SHE'S DOING TO HER HUSBAND now. WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND!

HE WHO BLEEPS ANOTHER MAN'S WIFE WILL HAVE HIS WIFE BLEEPED AS WELL.

@Charming,

Am goin to ask you this just once.

WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOUR PRIORITIES?

Let's know then we advise from there.

Thanks so much Pappij. Honestly, I want someone younger than me who can control and will listen to me. Ofcourse this lady listens to me. I want someone who can be pregnant with me. Even if the offers she is giving to me is tempting, I can start life from scratch with someone else and I could really enjoy my life. This is what I am thinking,

Oh Man this is a complete disaster , you be omo 9ja you better Wisen up don't let someone to use greek Gift to Spoil your show ooo if you Understand what i mean , Well My little Piece of advice Is for u to bone d lady and Move on with your life your parent at home are looking up to you to bring the Best , they won't be happy to hear any Romeo and Julie love story cos that is not what they Are expecting from you ooooo, you better wisen Up now before it's too late .take care Man . still Freddy.

Charming:

The way am going is it the right one for someone my age.

Certainly NOT!

What should I do?

My guess is that you don't half know this woman as you think you do. You, yourself, have given at least two reasons why the whole thing is just wrong. So I believe you already have the answer.

Peace.

is she d only woman IN UR SO CALLED COUNTRY?haba!
I know pali is ur NO1 PRIORITY. .so look 4 another MUGU.

:d ;

I am going to advice you as an elder brother or junior brother; just the same way i will advice my family.

1. Have you searched your mind and see that it is very wrong to commit adultery?
2. You went there to school, why not put 100% effort and continue i believe God has a plan for you and leave that destroyer a;lone
3. She is married and she sleeps with you, have you not think that if you married her she will still sleep with someone else?
4.How will you feel when she calls you Honey and she is not the mother of your kid?

We are Nigeria we have to be more sharp than this, you know we have culture, if you can get something that will profit you get it and flip her up. That my advice.

@Ukcatlover

You 2 gbaski thumb ups to you , you just hit the nail on the head , get what u want and flip sharply , no time wasting

@Poster I read the story and my conclusion is that you are just being molested

first i'd advice for you to look for ways of leaving her, yes she's caring and all that, but the question you need to answer yourself is, would you be willing to live with someone older than you and wont be able to bear you child all d days of your life, forget the surrogate rubbish, you wont be able to do it, and also have you thought about what your folks at home will think ,do or react to it,
as regards illegality of your stay, look for other means guy, you could get a younger lady to marry and all your problems are over, mix up, get a job and face your studies, this woman doesnt mean well for you at this your age, she doesnt believe me, and she's still married to the other man, boy get some sense into your head, call her , and let her see reason.the earlier the better.

Meeehhhnnn. . .na wahala be this one ooo!

marcus1234:

hmm.[img]http://s07.flagcounter.com/count/DymW/bg=ffffff/txt=ffffff/border=ffffff/columns=1/maxflags=1/viewers=3/labels=0/[/img]

Marcus i have nt seen u reply b4 u just give short answers

na wetin be this?

*runs off like am being chased by a 7 horns animal*

@poster
yea! i got it. Your problem is that her gifts, money and your intimacy with her is driving you. See guy, try and take these three thing out of the issue and see what you are left with. Being happy with this woman now does not give you the assurance that you'll get the same thing after marriage. Don't destroy yourself. You have a bright future and the devil is tempting to give you fake to have the original from you. Think twice my bros.

leave her, her life does not in any way rhymn with yours

leave her

hi poster,you have analyzed the situation well the finance aspect is blinding you to the truth of what you really wnt.leave her alone and move on with your life.its going to be hard cos she will be crying and begging but leave her in your past and move on while you can before itss too late.

mbekl:

Dat's a tripping shyth dude!

I 'll start by lambasting you, then giving you advice. then, you decide which is right for you.

offence No 1.Now, how on earth did u continue with the woman when she told you she's married? that's where your predicament starts from, bleeping someone's wife is completely wrong, in the eye of God and man. ask yourself frankly, if some young guy is blowing your wife, are you going to tell him "" ride on! dude, bleep her hard for me am gonna buy you a champagne when u're through?" hell no.
offence No 2. She told you she can't have a child, can't you see she was just using you as a guinea pig, to see, if u can get her pregnant? of which you fell for, as my Naija guys will put it, you fall mugu?

Offence No 3: She suggests that she moves in with you which you agree! WTF! have you imagine the husband tracing her to your house and pulling a trigger on your backside while u guys are bleeping? you're playing with fire dude!

Solution
1. Take a time out in a park or a quite place and engage your whole being in a deep thought process
2. Clear your entire systems from the lust after older women cos that's what landed you in this mess. the lady is older and more experience than you, so it was very easy for her to manipulate you to her devilish scheme. Make up your mind that henceforth, you'll be dating ladies 5 years younger than you; ladies that can look up to you for guidance not the other way round.
3. Forgive yourself for the sin of bleeping another man's wife and make up your mind to stop it finally.
4. Finally, and which is the most difficult part; convince your self that this lady manipulated you and is out to destroy your future and it's high time you sent her packing, tell her in clear terms that YOU CAN LIVE WITH HER NO MORE! SHE SHOULD GO BACK TO HER HUSBAND.
5. Then and only then will you have a peace of mind and face your study and future squarely

ROFLMAO U are there already. lol Dick cap

Thanks guys for the advice, ever since the last time I was on this thread, so many things has happened between the lady and I. So many many things.