Pweety4me:

The moMent i saw long distant relationship i just started SMH*

Tink_sh:

Hey everyone, i need your advice on a situation. I am in a long distance relationship which recently became an even longer distance when my bf went to the US to study. I am in Australia, so a bit far. Since he left we hardly have any contact. Online chats have become almost non exsistant, he says its a connection problem. Sms has become less, maybe a couple of times a week if im lucky. I have tried to ask and talk to him about the lack of contact but all he says is i dont understand what he is going through (whatever that means) and i am being unreasonable. He says he doesnt call anymore cos he cant call international and i should call him. Doesnt make sense to me but maybe it does to you. He says he is trying but i dont understand which is a bit hard with hardly any contact and he doesnt tell me anything. I am doing my own head in trying to figure out whats going on but would really appreciate any advice. He insists he still loves me and will come for me but am worried i am wasting my time and that more is going on than i know. My friends say im crazy and should walk away but i wanted some opinions from people not involved with either of us. Thanks for your time.

rokiatu:

common sweetheart, he's in America not Africa. He is lying. The fundamental ingredient of sustaining a
long distance relationship is communication. There are public phones, internet, all over America any
corner you look. Yet he doesn't call to see how you are? No that is a huge red flag in my book!

I can't tell you what to do, but if it was me I'd stop calling or writing him altogether and see what he will do.
(oh hell yeah it takes two to make a relationship work)



BTW which part of Australia are you?

Tink_sh:

Umm, dont know what SMH is, but ill assume its not good.

Pweety4me:

^_{So wat happened 2 the other 10% or did u do the wrong math?}

Mr Cork:

Tink_sh, sweetie, why dont we discuss this over candle light dinner.

By the way do u wear extra large thongs or pants?

snthesis:

@OP
it depends- ar u a good girl or a cheap lay? did u stand by him?
a guy basically worries abt 2 tins- money and his soulmate, the timing is usually d issue
yeah d guy is in america- hustling 4 his future and hopefully he has U depending on the status u guys were on.
give him time- most likely once he is settled d tin tin on his mind is a partner, nw dats were d questions i asked earlier comes into play- if u were just a cheap f^ck, sorry o- d guy don waka
but if u r a gem- probably he'll come get u- provided he doesnt find sum1 more precious.

petebor02:

wait,do ladies actually take advice in this kind of situation,i think they know the way out." An Asistant boyfriend'' Kalou is there when Drogba in injured. so whatever we say here won't change her mind ok.

Tink_sh:


i am wasting my time and that more is going on than i know. My friends say im crazy and should walk away

Djswaggz:

SMH = SHAKING MY HEAD

Sariba:

The key to keep up a successful long distance relationship is COMMUNICATION! For me only 1 SMS per week is not enough! Defintly not since you want to be a part of his life, you want to know how he is doing, how he is feeling etc. Communication costs money, thats true, although, there are many providers for cheap phone calls anywhere abroad!!! If thats still too expensive, try out Skype!!! So this cant be his excuse!!! What I would do, is either to stop contacting him; try to focus on other things (I'm not talking about getting to know other men!!!). Depending on how close you guys were before he travelled (I guess pretty close since he met your family) fly to the US!!! Better: Just tell him, when he calls you the next time, that you'll come to the US to visit him!!! Let see his reaction!?!? Dont tell him via SMS - better on the phone!!!

Dont wait and wait and wait if you are not happy with the situation!!! I mean you guys talked about everything, and it seems he is the one who is not keeping words!!! Right? So you need to find out for yourself what you want, dont make it dependant on what he wants!!!!!!!!

I wish you all the best!!!!
Greetings from Europe!

Gabry:

@ Poster,

This is a tough situation because Im not in your shoes or in your bf's shoes and also I have been spoiled by my bf hroughout the years we've been together so its hard for me to advise u but what I do know is that once a man loves a girl, he would really try his very best to get in touch with her despite the circumstances and the burdens cause relationships are all about sacrifices aqnd burdens towards each other.

When I was outstation, my bf was really far away but he made effort to call me twice a day ven when he is broke. I didnt knowhe was broke untill some years when his housemate told me that he would rather call me and spend the money there instead of buying food to eat and he woudl rather starve but than again, every individual is different.

You both need to rediscuss this and both come o terms where there is a win win and a loosing loosing situation.

Tink_sh:

'when he calls me', that would be nice. He has been gone 3 months and hasnt called me once! I call him. I have international calls on my phone plan so i can talk to him. I have stopped wasting my money so now just sms. Its been 4 weeks since our last msn chat, says he has connection problems. Sometimes doesnt reply to my sms so i wait til he sms me and i get in trouble for not understanding, Ugghh!!!! So getting over it as i type, lol!

Tink_sh:

Your so right Gabry. Now that is a man who loves his girl! Good for you!

He just sms me saying he wants to talk to me online so like a fool i sign in and he has to go check his cooking and i should wait. Whatever!! Im seeing things much clearer now. Its not happening no matter how much i want it. Happy to hear someone is being treated as they deserve.